fire and ice

American Airlines: Flight 2172

2008-07-22T01:16:11Z

Title: American Airlines: Flight 2172
Rated: NC17
Categories: Slash
Characters: Robert Drake, Sam Guthre, Piotr Rasputin, Original Female Character, Original Male Character, Wolverine, Rogue, John Allerdyce
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slash
Pairing: John/Bobby
Warnings: Adult Content, Blood, Character Death, Violence

I hold John and rock as he curls up inside of my arms, and he won’t stop mumbling one thing over and over again.

It should have been me.

No, Johnny, I want to tell him It shouldn’t have been you. If it had, I would’ve died on my poor excuse for a blanket. I hold him tighter as I look at Sam and Piotr. Piotr is trying to get Sam to calm down, but it won’t happen anytime soon. He and Scott were pretty close. Hell, we were all pretty close to Scott. And now he's dead.

Johnlooks up and stares at me as I begin to shake. “Are you okay?” he asks, still concerned with how I feel after…

… after Scott.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I say with a nod. The lie and the bile are all wrapped up together and it sits in my throat. I don’t know how long we’ve sat together, huddled in a broken foursome with Sam's halting breaths a sick soundtrack that I can't help but concentrate on. If I can just listen to him breathe, maybe I can keep myself from screaming.

I’ve got Scott's blood on me, from where I tried to get some of the less identifiable pieces out of John's hair and off his hat. John hates it when there’s shit on his hat. I’m about to lose it, I know I am, and I look down the aisle to see a stewardess tending to a woman. She’s shaking slightly and sweating. I don’t blame her.

Piotr catches my gaze and looks to the woman and the stewardess. “She’s diabetic,” he says, hollowly. “She needs to eat.”

“Then the flight attendant should ask for food,” I whisper. Sam sends me a scathing glare that almost feels physical.

“Haven’t we lost enough? Why keep sticking our neck out for strangers?” he hisses, miserably. “Are you not going to listen until one of us gets shot?”

The edge of hysteria in Sam’s voice pulls John out of my grasp and he takes a shuddering breath and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, guys. I really am,” he whispers. I look over his shoulder and see Luitger staring at me with a smirk on his face. I turn away; I don’t want to let him see me cry again.

“You fucking should be. You and your fucking plans! Just let them land the fucking plane!” Sam sobs out. Piotr pulls him closer, his gaze is leveled somewhere over everyone’s head. He’s retreating into his own mind to deal with this.

I probably would too if I didn’t feel my own guilt eating me up like some sort of disease from within. The only thing I could think of when I heard that shot was ‘don’t let it be Johnny'. That was it. Nothing for Scott. What kind of person, what kind of friend was I when I’d rather him get shot than my boyfriend? The thought leaves me breathless and unable to think. I don’t want to think anymore. I just want to close my eyes until it was over.

“Excuse me.”

Everyone turns to a brown-haired flight attendant. She’s on her feet, and shaking madly, but her face is determined and she looks serious. Luitger swaggers over and stands in front of her before he pushes her down, back into her seat, roughly. “What?” he spits, glaring at her with the muzzle of his gun pressing against her temple. “What did you say?”

“She’s sick. I need to get her some food so she can regulate her blood sugar. Please. Nothing funny.”

“Damn right, nothing funny. Fuck, I don’t care if the bitch dies or not; you’re not moving out of this fucking chair. And if you get up again, I will personally blow your head off. Got me?”

The flight attendant shakes her head, shakily, while the woman next to her looks beaten. Luitger just signed her death certificate, and he knows it, too.

“Please,” I whisper before I realize what I’m doing.

John's fingers dig into my biceps and my flesh crawls as Luitger turns around and looks at me with a grin that looked lecherous. “What did you say?” He asks me, lowly as he walks over. John tightens his grip on me and my breath hitches. I can feel his panic and taste it like it's my own.

“I wanted to ask if I could go get it. I don’t know where any weapons are kept and all I want to do is go back and get the food to her,” I say as I point to the woman. She’s shaking more than she was a minute ago. I can’t tell if its because of fear or her diabetes. “I’ll be really quick.”

“I’m sure you would. Come on,” He walks over to me and pulls me to my feet. “You better not try anything or I won’t hesitate to put a bullet in your pretty body, got it?”

I look down at John, whose expression is unreadable right now. Sam is staring daggers at the back of Luitger’s head. I don’t know if Piotr is strong enough to hold him down, if he loses it.

“Yeah,” I say, trembling. “I got it.”

He pushes me to the galley without a word, and shoves me hard once we’re about to turn the corner. I collide with something and stumble before I’m able to get my footing. I land on the floor hard and suddenly, I’m staring at what’s left of Wolcverine's body and the dead stewardess is looking right at me. My stomach heaves but there’s nothing there.

“Get up.” Luitger yanks me up and shoves me against the wall. I cry out, I can’t help it; the metal hinges of a cabinet are digging into my chest. “You’ve got such a pretty mouth... and you make pretty sounds.”

I start to cry because I can feel his hands on the palm of my ass. He squeezes and laughs in my ear and all I can do is try not to throw up as his hot breath hits my nose. “Please don’t,” I beg him. I’m not above begging anymore. I’ll say anything to get him to stop touching me. Johnny, I need you…

“Keep fucking crying; that just makes it better. I’m going to get into your little body, and fuck you until you pass out. Then I’ll fuck you until you wake up, screaming for me to stop. I wonder how many guys have gotten in you? You’re sexy as fuck, but you act like a prude. I don’t think you’d let many in you, which is good for me. I hate my whores to be loose.”

“I’m not a whore,” I grit out, right before I’m spun around and slammed against the wall again. My head connects with the metal cabinet and I think I’m stunned because I can’t get my arms or legs to obey me quickly enough. Luitger steps between my open legs and lifts me, easily, and his erection jolts me back to reality as he thrusts against me. He’s going to rape me and God, there’s nothing I can do about it…

Suddenly, he’s gone and I’m falling to the ground. I wipe away my tears to see John and Luitger struggling. I’ve never seen such rage in John’s face before and it’s almost frightening. The adrenaline is giving him enough strength to hold his own against the bulkier man, and I hear shouting from the cabin and a howl of pain that sounds like it came from Sam.

Fear makes me move, and I jump on Luitger as he tries to reach for his gun. I’m clawing at whatever skin I can get to, but my nails are dull and at most, a distraction. John gives him a punch in the jaw and even I hear the foreign click as Luitger stumbles and holds his chin. His eyes flash and he’s reaching for his gun.

“What is going on here?” Ansgar roars, gun out and face grim. He takes one look at Luitger and shoots him in the head; I barely have enough time to move out of the way before he falls on the other bodies. “I told you, didn’t I?" he demands, turning to John. "I don’t tolerate heroes.”

I see him lift the gun and I jump over the pile of the dead in an effort to make it to Johnny in time. I will not let my love die alone. I will not let my love die alone.

I will not let my love die alone.

Fic Search

2008-07-21T11:25:50Z

If this isn't allowed then i apologise :D
There's this fic called "Captured" in which Bobby is lured back to Boston by who I can only assume is Stryker or his team
Rogue and Wolverine find John and tell him
Then John goes off to find Bobby
He eventually finds him bruised with broken hands and in a comatose state
:D
If anytbody knows where I can find that fic I would be extremely grateful

Judas 2/2

2008-07-20T22:37:30Z

Title: Judas 2/2
Author: yaoi_anti_drug
Beta: ladywilde80
Pairings: Bobby/John
Genre: Drama, Angst
Characters: John, Bobby, various X-Men
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Post-The Last Stand, John is captured a year and a half after Alcatraz.
Word Count: about 4,715
Spoilers: X-2 and The Last Stand
Warnings: Movie-verse, Violence, Angst, Dark!fic, Non-Con
Notes: Thanks you so much ladywilde80 and Chris, ^_^. This is my first X-Men fic, so be kind. Constructive criticism is always loved and comments, even if it’s to say you hate it, are always appreciated too.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, if I did, the X-Men would be made entirely of gay men simply for my enjoyment.

Judas 1/2

Judas 2/2

X-Posted at xmmff

He Hated it (Pt. 2.)

2008-07-19T09:49:33Z

Title: He hated it Pt. 2
Author: kate_pyro
Rating: Pg-13 i guess
Pairing: Bobby/John
Summary: John came back, Bobby doesnt know why?
Notes: Ok this is part 2, i was way to bored to not do it. I like this one alot more that pt.1...Pt.1 can be found here:http://community.livejournal.com/dry_ice/382344.html#cutid1

It was third period and no matter what Bobby had thought earlier, he did not want Jean reading his mind. He really considered skipping the lesson; he could get John to come with him. ‘Yes lets do that, no god you don’t need that on your mind you and John alone, mmm John alone, shut up, no make me, ok how about I hit you?, and ruin this pretty lil’ face so John will never look at you then.’

“Shut the Fuck up.”

“Talking to yourself now Popsicle? One of the firs signs of madness”

Bobby felt him self going red. ‘It’s HIM, I know it’s him moron, don’t call me a moron you moron, shut up moron, don’t object to fight me!, you like him, do not, do, do not, do not, do, HA got you… you do!, that’s not fair.’

“God I’m not in the mood for Jean right now”

“Well Popsicle, you’re just gunna have to live with that aren’t you?”

“Just like I have to live with fucken you?”

“Oh, sorry for not being the perfect person you always wanted popsicle.”

John stormed off for the second time in two days. Bobby thought ‘that’s just it, you are the person I always wanted aren’t you. Oh will you shut up downstairs brain’ He left for Physics and was outside the door when he changed his mind. ‘Stuff it I can’t be stuffed going to this’ unfortunately for him Jean was right behind him.

“In you go.”

“Do I have to? I’ll do double homework or something?”

“Yes you have to, I need you for demonstration.”

“What does this demonstration involve?”

“Ice and Fire”

‘Shit’

“I do read minds you know.”

Bobby entered the class and sat next to Colossus. Jean began to talk and Bobby paid no attention. ‘Shit, what am I gunna have to do?, Oh you know you want to do something with him, Shut up you don’t wanna do anything with him, you know that is a lie.’

“Bobby and John come up here please”

“Shit”

As Bobby walked to the front of the class he didn't look at John. ‘Oh god, Oh god’

“Bobby and John are as you all know complete opposites, yet they still can harm each other.”

“To right we can”

“John form a fireball please, Small fireball please. Bobby Can you cool the air below it? Ok Did you all see how the fireball went out it froze. This does not usually happen to fire because the laws of physics shoot are stopped when things are reversed. Now can you take each others hand please?”

“What?”

‘Shit”

It was out of pure interest and respect for the teachers that no-one in the class called out something gay related. When Johns hand touched his he felt a weird sensation. Like all the blood was rushing to his hand. ‘Wow his hands are warm and soft, shut up!, no! You gotta admit those hands are nice, ok so what?, imagine them on other parts of your body. Bobby didn't realize that all the blood in his body did rush to his hand and the next thing he knew he was lying in bed. John was looking at him.

“Morning sunshine Popsicle.”

“Shit, what happened? My head is like dying here!”

“Well you passed out; Jean was trying not to smile.”

“What were you doing?”

“Pissing myself laughing.”

“Oh, real nice John.”

“Oh god, what is it with you lately?”

“What I’m not the one who up and left.”

“And yet you are still to dumb to figure out why”

Bobby stood up and walked over to the bathroom. John got up and stood in front of him. He was a little bit smaller than Bobby. ‘God his hair looks nice, don’t even fucken start’

“Get out of the way.”

“No, not until you fucking listen to me.”

“Ok, John I’m listening now”

The next thing Bobby felt was Johns lips on his, He felt the warmth radiating from Johns Body. A moan escaped Bobby’s lips. John pulled away.

“John… what… why?”

“That’s why I left. Because you chose her.”

“Shit, John… why didn’t you say something?”

“Because you always came back so happy, whenever you had been out with her you always came back happy. You always told me how you loved her. God you had no idea that I loved you.”

Bobby pushed John against the wall and kissed him. John responded in full force. Hands roaming all over Bobby’s body.

‘See you knew you wanted it, shut up, say it, not, say it, ok I know I wanted it happy now?, Yes’

For once Bobby’s mind said nothing

Changes ( pics )

2008-07-18T09:16:48Z

Okay, here are some picture manipulations of John with a tattoo, and one with a scar across his face. The idea for these pictures came from my drabble "Changes"

The tribal dragon was recommended by Polaris_86

This one was recommended my inootz

Changes:

Towel wrapped around him he exited the bathroom, glancing at the calendar as he passed. He paused. Had it really been two years? So much had changed, could so little time have passed?

In the bedroom he stopped to stare at himself in the mirror.

No longer was he the lanky teen that had abandoned the x-men for the perilous pursuit of a cause he wasn’t sure he believed in. No longer was he the long haired whore who felt so out of place among the best and the brightest of mutantkind.

With the loss of Magneto, he’d become the harsh and calculating leader of the Brotherhood. He was the one who commanded those who were unwilling to turn the other cheek when humanity struck them.

His appearance had changed to match the new darker man that was inside. The tattoo on his right temple was as much to show his pride as it was to distract from the scar that tracked across the opposite side of his face. His eyes, once warm chocolate, were dark fiery pitch. The rest of his body was just as scarred, changed more by his experiences than by the time that had gone by.

He hated it.

2008-07-18T07:18:46Z

Title: He hated it
Author: kate_pyro
Rating: Pg-13 i guess
Pairing: Bobby/John
Summary: John came back, Bobby doesnt know why?
Notes: i minght do a sequal.. tell me if you want it.

He hated it, he hated the fact that he even dared to come back. After everything he still dared to come back, to screw up Bobby’s life one more time. He hated the fact that he was glad John was ok. He was glad that John was safe and back where Bobby could keep an eye on him. But there was one thing still bothering Bobby. Why had John left?

It was 3 in the morning and Bobby was just staring at his former best friend. He knew he shouldn’t do anything stupid but he wanted to know why, but as he reached out his hand he changed his mind. If John was willing to come back Bobby was willing to ignore the fact that he had left. Just as long as he had his friend back.

“What are you doing popsicle?”

“Er… Bathroom”

Bobby left the room in one hell of a rush and left John staring out the door. ‘My ass you were going to the bathroom’ Was the only thing that crossed Johns mind. Bobby reached the kitchen and headed straight for the freezer and got out his vanilla ice cream only to find a note on the inside saying;

Gotta be quicker next time Popsicle.

-Pyro

Bobby said only one thing “Fuck you John.”

“If only you would” came from somewhere behind Bobby.

“What the hell man, this is MY ice cream”

“Which is why I ate it?”

“What the FUCK John?”

“Pyro”

“John”

“There is more in the back”

John walked over to the freezer and pulled out some French vanilla from the back and passed it to Bobby, who just stared at him.

“What I don’t get a thank you now?”

“You’ve changed.”

“…What?”

“You’ve changed, you used to just, I don’t know be different.”
“…”

“Why did you leave John?”

“Pyro”

“Why did you leave Pyro?”

“…”

Bobby just stared as his friend looked out the window. There was something in his eyes that Bobby had never seen before. It made his eyes look good Bobby thought. ‘Whoa... What the? Where did that come from?’ Bobby just ate the ice cream thinking “oh god, no please no. I’m not, I never have been, is this why I dumped Rogue? No. I loved Rogue, she dumped me, no she didn't YOU dumped her, oh god! I did dump her, think mind think! You can not do this to me, I refuse to accept it, accept it already, you like him, and you gotta crush on Johnny!! Shut up, I do not, do so, do not, you love him, …, See told you so.’

“If you didn't fucking know then, then you wont fucking know”

“John wha…”

John was already out the door and properly down the hallway. Bobby just stared.

“What the fuck?”

It was three by Bobby returned to their room. He opened the door as quietly as possible and shut it silently. He gazed over at Johns bed the pyromaniac was asleep ‘thank god’ crossed Bobby’s mind. He knew he would have to face John sooner or later. That started his mind up again ‘You have to talk to him sooner or later, no shut up brain, hello? I’m not your brain talking, well not your upstairs one anyway.’ He hit himself in the head then wished he hadn’t as John moved in his sleep. Bobby got 3 and a half minutes sleep well ok that was a little exaggerated. But all Bobby knew was that he was tired and John didn’t care. John cared about himself and no-one else. ‘I hate him, no you don’t you moron you like him, shut up I don’t like him, yes you do, no I don’t!’ that was the battle raging inside Bobby’s head all day. He didn't even care that he had Jean for physics third period. Let her look in his head. Maybe she could tell him how he felt because god knows he didn't know.

Bobby/John fanmix

2008-07-17T00:45:17Z

woo, my first fanmix! :D Thought I should share it...

I Don't Love You
A Bobby/John (Iceman/Pyro) fanmix

9 tracks, here at my journal ♥

We are never turning back

2008-07-16T21:47:31Z

So, I drew John.<3
I love Pyro to death.
Anyways, I am still upset with how I drew his hair as well as his hands.
ERG I am never happy with my art.
I seriously hate drawing people with a weird hair line/window's peak.
Excuse the stupidity.

Never Too Late (1 of 2)

2008-07-12T10:00:41Z

Title: Never Too Late (Part 1 of 2)
Author: Bri
Rating: R
Pairing: Bobby/John
Prompt: "I'll love whatever you become" from raspberryichigo's prompt table.
Summary: How long are we gonna keep doing this? John's in prison, and Bobby refuses to stop visiting him.
Notes: Title taken from the Three Days Grace song with the same name.

“How long are we gonna keep doing this?” John’s voice sounded tired, but his eyes were wide and clear as they stared into Bobby’s.

“Doing what?” Bobby asked, mostly just to stall.

John shot him a look that said he wasn’t buying it. “You guys aren’t just going to keep me locked up here forever.”

Bobby froze. He should have figured it out when John asked the same question he always asked, in the same tone. He figured John knew, John had to know, he’d just fallen into the pattern anyway, but when Bobby said something different, it should’ve been John’s cue to start something new. Shouldn’t it? When one person broke the routine because they knew something different, if the other person knew it, too, they weren’t supposed to pick the pattern back up. Or were they? Was this John’s way of saying nothing had changed? But it had changed. Everything had changed. Bobby still knew John well enough to know that he wouldn’t treat this like it was nothing. Ugh. He hated this stuff.

“No one told you?” Bobby asked finally.

“No one tells me anything,” John replied, tone annoyed but looking at him curiously.

“Fuck,” Bobby murmured, burying his face in his hands in an attempt to hide his anger. He didn’t want to be the one to do this. He couldn’t be the one to do this, and he was really fucking pissed at Storm for shoving it off on him like this.

“The hell is your problem, Drake?” John asked. He had the same irritated tone of voice he used when he was actually kind of worried, and Bobby didn’t want to look up to see if John’s eyes still showed it, or if he could hide that now, too.

Bobby waited another moment, then pushed one hand through his hair and scrubbed his other hand across his face. “I should’ve left you on the island,” he said, finally looking up.

John looked slightly surprised, then his eyes darkened in anger. “Wishing you’d had the guts to kill me?”

“No,” Bobby replied immediately, reaching across the table to put his hand on John’s arm, but thought better of it and pulled his hand back. Instead, he locked his eyes on John’s. “Never.”

John held his gaze. “Why not? I would’ve killed you.”

Bobby wanted to deny that, but he wasn’t entirely sure he could. And he didn’t have a response to it, because he didn’t know why. So he just said, “They’re going to give you the Cure.”

John stared at him like he didn’t understand what Bobby was saying. “What?”

“They’re going to Cure you,” Bobby said again. “And then they’re releasing you to us.”

“To you,” John repeated, still staring at him.

“To the X-men,” Bobby clarified.

John sneered. “So you’re finally one of them, are you? Should’ve figured when I saw you in the leather. Fucking wet dream come true for you, isn’t it? You’re the big, strong X-man in control and I’m a helpless human in your custody.”

“I didn’t want this to happen, Johnny,” Bobby said. “I fought against it.”

“I’m sure you did,” John replied angrily. “The fuck would you care if I was human? You love them. You’re even dating one of them.”

“Leave Marie out of this.”

John ignored him. “Maybe you’ll like me better when I’m human. Hell, why don’t you get it, too, and we can all be one big, happy, human family. We can go live with your parents. I’m sure they’ll love you again.”

“Shut up,” Bobby said, voice low and dangerous.

John refused to back down. “Or what? You gonna make me? Real brave, X-man, beating up on the guy in handcuffs.”

Bobby glanced down at John’s hands, resting on the table in front of him. They were handcuffed, they always were, but now they were clenched together so hard that John’s knuckles were white. Bobby fought the ridiculous urge to lean over and take John’s hands in his. “I’m sorry, Johnny.”

“Sorry doesn’t mean anything,” John replied. “And don’t call me Johnny.”

“I can’t stop this,” Bobby said quietly.

John didn’t say anything, and after a few minutes Bobby got the hint and stood up to leave.

~*~

“Storm says you can stay at the mansion as long as you want,” Bobby said. “But you don’t have to. After the first couple of weeks, you can go where ever you want. They’re not going to keep you prisoner.”

“Isn’t that nice of them,” John said sarcastically.

John was even angrier than he’d been last time, and Bobby figured that was because he’d had time for the fear to set in. John was always more pissed off when he was afraid.

“They fought for you, too,” Bobby said doggedly. “You could’ve been stuck here forever.”

“No,” John replied. “They wouldn’t risk keeping me here. Sooner or later someone’d slip up and light a cigarette or something. They got exactly what they wanted, they just made you guys think they were making you a deal. And you lot were fucking stupid enough to buy it.”

Bobby stayed silent for a long moment, just long enough for John to start smirking, giving him a look that said John thought he’d won. Then Bobby swallowed and said softly, “They wanted to kill you.”

John’s smirk faded a bit.

“The government reps were talking about terrorism and war crimes and waiving your rights to a trial,” Bobby continued. “So no. They didn’t get what they wanted.”

John stayed silent for a long time. Eventually, Bobby figured they were done and stood up. As he moved to leave, though, John shot up and reached out to grab his arm. Bobby turned, surprised. This was the first time John had touched him.

“You should have given them what they wanted,” John said, his eyes blank. “I’d rather be dead than human.”

“Johnny,” Bobby started, but John flinched slightly at the sound of his voice, or maybe at the name. He let go of Bobby’s arm and pulled back, sitting back down. Shaken, Bobby stared at him for a moment, trying to think of something to say, but he failed and ended up just walking out.

~*~

“How can you hate humans that much?” Bobby asked.

John shrugged. “They’ve never given me any reason not to.”

“So being a mutant just automatically means people won’t be bastards? Come on, Johnny, you know better than that. Mutants hurt other mutants and humans just as much as humans hurt other humans and mutants. People hurt people,” Bobby said. “But people help people, too.”

John didn’t say anything.

“Magneto’s human now,” Bobby told him. “You hate him now, too?”

“I hated him before that,” John said, voice hardly above a whisper.

Bobby sat up straighter. “What?”

“Get out,” John replied. “We’re done here.”

~*~

“It’s not about hating humans. It’s about not having power,” Bobby said.

John glared at him. “Fuck off.”

“You can’t stand the idea of not having power,” Bobby pressed. “You have to be able to threaten people, to kick their ass whenever you feel like it.”

“Shut up,” John hissed.

Bobby ignored him. “You’ve always had to be better, stronger, more in control than everyone else. Special. Important.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” John said, anger growing in his voice. “You don’t fucking know anything about-”

He cut short, looking furious and slightly scared, and Bobby suddenly felt guilty. Because he did know. He was probably the only one that knew anything about John’s past.

“I won’t go back to that,” John said, staring at something that wasn’t in the room. “A nobody too fucking weak to stand up to a stupid old drunk.”

“You were just a kid, Johnny, you couldn’t-” Bobby started.

But his voice snapped John out of whatever he’d been in, and his eyes were angry again. It’d been like that in the beginning, whenever John handed over a piece of himself without realizing it, he’d be pissed. Bobby’d counter it by offering John a piece of himself in return, more than what John had given him. Eventually it’d worked, and John stopped being so angry that Bobby knew so much about him. Bobby figured it was pretty much because John realized that Bobby’d give him everything without expecting everything in return. Which was why it wouldn’t work now. Bobby didn’t have anything left to give him.

“You don’t know,” John said again.

“Your power isn’t what makes you strong,” Bobby told him, trying to inject all his feelings into his voice. “You won’t be a nobody without it.”

John laughed, a sharp, bitter sound that echoed in the small room. “The fire is who I am. You’re a smart boy, Bobby,” and his name was said mockingly, “you change someone’s DNA, take away a piece of them, how are they supposed to be the same?”

“I didn’t say you’d be the same,” Bobby said. “But it’s better than dying.”

“No it’s not,” John replied. “It’s not. I can’t do it. I won’t.”

The finality in John’s voice scared Bobby a little. “Johnny. It’ll be all right. If we can make through everything we’ve been through, through Alcatraz, we can make it through this.”

John sat up a little straighter. “No, we can’t. There is no fucking we. I don’t want you here.”

“I-“ Bobby started.

John cut him off. “Go away, Iceman. Just – fucking go away. Don’t come back here.”

~*~

Bobby came back anyway, but John wouldn’t talk to him. Bobby tried the first two times, but John ignored him, and after that they sat in silence. Bobby didn’t let it stop him. Before, he’d gone to the prison every few days, but he started showing up more often. After a week straight of coming every day to sit in silence for a few hours, John finally looked at him. John didn’t look angry anymore, he just looked kind of empty. Blank. But apparently Bobby still knew John pretty well, because he could see the desperation hidden under there.

“What do you want from me, Bobby?” John asked.

Bobby hesitated for a moment, then went with honesty and said quietly, “I want my best friend back.”

John nodded. “What if I told you he was dead?”

Bobby just looked at him. “That’s so cliché, Johnny.”

“Pyro,” John said.

“Johnny,” Bobby replied stubbornly.

“Is that why you want them to give me the Cure? Because you think it’ll bring Johnny back?” John asked.

Bobby glared at him. “I don’t want them to give you the Cure. And in case you’ve forgotten, Pyro is Johnny. You were my best friend with powers, taking them away won’t bring him back.”

“Then why do you keep coming here, knowing you won’t get what you want?” John asked.

Bobby stayed silent for a moment, trying to figure out how to put into words what he didn’t really know. “I used to think I had lines. Places people would cross and I could point to them and go, ‘Yeah, that guy’s a bad person.’ That’s what being a hero’s supposed to be about, right? You stop the bad guy.”

John stared at him. “The hell are you babbling about, Drake?”

Bobby ignored him. “So I figure, you know, your best friend burns down your house, kills a couple of cops. That should probably be a line. Maybe you should stop caring about him so much. He turns traitor, starts playing loyal follower to your biggest enemy? Line. Goes around killing innocent people? Big fucking line. Tries to kill you?” Bobby laughed, but it sounded mean, and he saw something like uncertainty, or maybe even regret, in John’s eyes. “Line in bold, going hand in hand with a hint big enough for even me to get, saying ‘you’re less than nothing to me.’”

John flinched and said, almost too soft for Bobby to make out, “That’s not true.”

Bobby should’ve been surprised, doubtful, but instead he just felt kind of happy, like John was just confirming something he’d already known, deep down. Which was the problem. “Yeah, well. Apparently I have no lines. Not when it comes to you. Because I still fucking care about you. So if I still have trouble not thinking of you as my best friend after all that, however being human changes you’ll be easy. Whatever you become, I’ll still care about you.” He faltered slightly on “care”, because “love” almost slipped out. It’d been right there, right on the tip, but he couldn’t say it, because he was trying not to scare John away, not to freak him out or bring on the mocking.

But he’d still somehow managed to say the wrong thing, maybe even care was too much, because John was sneering at him.

“Is that supposed to do something for me?’ John asked. “Am I supposed to roll over and be all excited about being human because when I am, you’ll still care about me?” He snorted. “I’ve heard that speech before, on every crappy Hallmark movie. ‘I don’t care that you’ve got cancer, Mary Lou, I’ll love you anyway.’ Bullshit. I’ve had your caring before, Bobby. I’ve seen what it means. So no thanks.”

“Johnny, I-”

John cut him off. “How’s Marie doing, Bobby?”

Bobby frowned. “I told you to leave her out of this.”

“You’re the one that brought her in.”

Bobby blinked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re a fucking idiot, Drake, and I’m tired of putting up with you.” He sighed, a defeated sound that conflicted with the anger in his expression. “Just leave me alone.”

“I can’t,” Bobby admitted quietly. “I’ve tried to forget you before. It didn’t work. I’m not letting you go again.”

“You already have,” John told him, then refused to say anything else until Bobby left.

~*~

“You’re really fucking contradictory, Bobby Drake.”

Bobby hadn’t even made it to his chair yet, and he stopped to stare at John. “What?”

“You want me back. You’re not going to let me go. But every time you come in here, you keep trying to convince me that taking the Cure is a good thing, when you fucking well know what it’ll do to me,” John replied.

“You’re strong enough to deal with it and come out fighting,” Bobby insisted as he sat down. “You can do anything.”

“I couldn’t get you,” John said. His voice was lacking the anger it should have had, the kind he always had whenever he talked about Bobby beating him at something. Especially in a fight.

It made Bobby think that he was missing something, but he went on ahead anyway. “You left the Institute. If you’d stayed, trained more…” He trailed off, because John was staring at him in disbelief. “What?”

“I’m trying to figure out how the hell I’ve managed to make it this far without strangling you out of sheer frustration,” John said.

He sounded so much like the old Johnny that Bobby found himself grinning. “No one else is as good at annoying you as I am.”

“That’d be an argument in favor of the strangling, Frosty,” John told him.

“Nah. You like it. You’re secretly a masochist,” Bobby said.

“Oooh, you know what that word means?” John asked. “You’re more adventurous in your internet porn surfing than I thought. Maybe I’ll hold off strangling you if you give me links.”

Bobby’s grin widened. “Like I could show you anything you haven’t already seen. You’re like the king of internet porn. Besides, you totally know you’d miss me.”

John nodded. “I would.”

Bobby blinked, thrown. He waited for John to add something else, like ‘who else will I get to clean the room just by leaving my side messy’ or ‘then who would I cheat off in math class,’ but John stayed silent.

“I missed you,” Bobby said eventually. “I wouldn’t let them give me a new roommate because I kept thinking you’d come back.”

“I don’t belong there,” John told him, voice gentle.

“Yes you do,” Bobby insisted. “We’re a family. You belong with us. With me.”

“You were the only reason I had second thoughts,” John said quietly.

“But I wasn’t enough,” Bobby replied, slightly surprised by just how much that hurt.

“You might’ve been, if I’d actually had you,” John said, then before Bobby could protest that, John reached across the table to grab Bobby’s arm. “Get me out of here, Bobby.”

Bobby stared at him, eyes wide. “Johnny, I can’t.”

“Yeah, you can,” John replied. “You’re probably the only one who can.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” Bobby said, the desperation in his voice matching what he could see in John’s eyes. “I break you out of here, they’re gonna know it’s me. Everything I – the Institute, the people there, they’re all I have left. Everything I’ve got left is there. I can’t leave that.”

“You’ll have me,” John said softly, and if it was anyone else, Bobby would’ve said he sounded uncertain.

“No I won’t,” Bobby said. “I’ll never have you, Johnny, not-” not the way I want “-not really. I thought I had you once, and look how that turned out.”

“Please,” John said, very quietly.

“You have no right to ask me this,” Bobby said, suddenly angry. He pulled his arm from John’s hand and stood, pacing in short, quick steps. “You have no fucking right to ask me to give up everything for you. You tried to kill me, and you’ve spent the last few weeks trying to convince me that you hate me, and I’m supposed to just leave everything I have so you don’t have to be human? How can you ask that of me?”

“You’re all I’ve got,” John said, leaning forward a bit. “Just you. After everything, you’re still fucking here, and no one’s ever been there like that before. I fucking –” He faltered and swallowed. “I fucking need you, Bobby.”

“You need me because I can get you out of here,” Bobby said bitterly.

“If that’s really what you think of me, then why do you keep coming back here?” John asked.

Bobby ran his hand through his hair. “Because I’m too much of an idiot to want to believe that you’re using me.”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t, because I’d do anything to get out of here,” John said. “But that’s not the only reason I need you. I never fucking stopped missing you. I tried so fucking hard, but I never did.”

“I can’t,” Bobby said, shaking his head and abruptly turning to walk out. “I just can’t.”

~*~

But he could. And a week later, he did. Because John asked him – really asked him – for help, and Bobby’d always had a hard time telling John no.

It took him a week to decide how he was going to do it (in a way that didn’t involve just breaking in and fighting his way out), and if he was going to do it at all (although that decision took him less time than it probably should have). He took one of the spare image inducers, the ones the Professor had kept around for physical mutants who wanted to go into the city without being noticed. It would be easy enough to give John the inducer to disguise him, the hard part would be coming out with two people when he’d gone in alone.

So he called ahead to let the guards know that there would be two people visiting John that day. He put the inducer on, programming it to its default male setting, and when he got to the prison, he made an ice statue of himself, ice arm resting on his shoulders and his own arm wrapped around the icy waist. Bobby’d been working on animating ice, making it move however he wanted, but he wasn’t very far along. He had it down just enough to make the legs of the statue move in small, jerking motions, but fortunately it looked real enough as far as a person made of ice attempting to walk went.

In a disguised voice, he explained to the guards that Bobby had gotten stuck in ice form and needed someone to help him get around. The guards looked him over but, aside from being slightly wary of the ice form, didn’t seem to care and waved him through. Bobby continued down to the room they always used and slid in as quickly as he could when half-holding an ice statue.

John was sitting at the table, eyes completely blank. He looked at the ice statue when Bobby entered, and for a moment some kind of expression tried to showed itself, but then gave up. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Bobby said in his own voice, dropping the ice statue and taking off the inducer. “Yet. I’m getting you out of here.”

John stared at him, eyes glittering and expression intense. “Are you fucking serious?”

“I came in here with this ridiculous set up, didn’t I?” Bobby asked, shoving the inducer at him. “Let’s go.”

John looked at the inducer, turning it over in his hands like he couldn’t quite believe it was real. Then he wrapped it around his wrist and disappeared, face hidden behind someone else’s. Bobby turned into ice form and John flinched slightly, looking angry. Bobby wondered briefly if he was thinking of Alcatraz, but then the anger was gone and John stood up, walking towards him. Bobby draped his arm over John’s shoulders.

“Sorry about the cold,” Bobby said.

“It’s fine,” John replied, voice distant, and he slipped his arm around Bobby’s waist.

It was too quick, too easy. The guards let them pass without a word, and all the tension Bobby’d built up, the nerves and adrenaline and fear went unresolved. It hung thick in the air of the car Bobby found himself driving before he knew it. John was sitting in the passenger seat, inducer-less John, because he’d ripped it off as soon as they’d put a few miles between them and the prison, and they drove in heavy silence. Bobby was shaking now, and he clutched the wheel tighter to try and stop it, or at least hide it.

“What now?” John asked eventually, without moving his gaze from the window.

“I don’t know,” Bobby admitted. “Drive for awhile. Find some place to stop for the night, I guess. Figure out where to go from there.”

John nodded absently, then asked very quietly, “Why’d you do it?”

“Because I love you.” He’d meant to add “man,” or “dude” after that, to make it more the best friend kind of love, but he didn’t, and then it was too late and he couldn’t take it back or change it. And cue panic.

But John just nodded again and went back to staring silently out the window. Bobby didn’t know to do with that. Of all the possible reactions out there, he hadn’t been expecting that. Maybe John was just too wound up over the escape to want to deal with that. Or, more likely, his feelings for Bobby were so completely platonic that the fact that that might’ve been an accidental love confession didn’t even occur to him.

When neither of them talked until it was after midnight and Bobby pulled into a motel on the side of the highway, though, Bobby started figuring his first guess had been right. Bobby got them a room, making sure to get two beds, then lugged two of the bags he’d packed into the room while John followed him. Bobby dropped the bags on the floor and John sat on one of the beds, staring off into nothing.

“So, uh. I’m going to take a shower,” Bobby said, figuring maybe John needed some space to think.

“Okay,” John replied.

Bobby took a little longer to shower than he normally did, trying to give John time. When he was done, he wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door, then stood in the doorway between the bathroom and the bedroom for a moment. John was still sitting on the bed, but now he had a box of matches in his hands, turning it over with long, nimble fingers and quick caresses. It stirred something in Bobby, and even though it should have been cautiousness, maybe even fear, it really, really wasn’t.

“Shower’s yours, if you want it,” Bobby told him. “I packed your clothes in the red bag.”

“Okay,” John said, not taking his eyes from the matches.

Bobby shifted, at first uncomfortable, then pissed. “What’s your problem, Johnny? What the fuck is your problem? I gave up everything for you. You’re out. You should be thrilled that-”

John started laughing, cutting him off. It was a laugh of desperation and hopelessness, bordering on insanity. He opened the box and pulled out a match, striking it against the side. “You were too late, Bobby,” John said, holding the lit match under his left palm. “You were too fucking late.”

The smell of burned flesh started filling the room and Bobby reacted instinctively to put out the flame. Then he looked on in growing horror as John stared at his burned hand, the ice covered match, and started laughing again.

Would he have?

2008-07-11T20:01:16Z

Title: Would He Have?
Author: Raitear
Rating: R (for mentions)
Paining: Bobby/John
Summary: Just an idea that's been floating in my head for a while that explores a different reason why John left. It might just stay a drabble or if people are interested I might make it longer later on.
Warning: Mentions of rape.

He said, “No.” That makes it rape.

Bobby slammed his fist into his pillow, ineffectually trying to shove the accusatory thoughts from his mind.

He wanted me, he wanted it.

Then why is he gone?

I don't know.

Why didn't he want to be around you any more?

It's not...

It was rape.

“NO.” He snarled into the darkness of the empty bedroom, kicking off the bed-covers and standing up. He went into the bathroom, turning on the sink and splashing his face with cold water. He glared at his reflection in the mirror.

“I did not rape John.” He told himself for the hundredth time, pushing the guilt away. But the guilt was persistent, holding on, silently voicing its reproach.

He said, “No.”

He would have told the teachers, the professor. If it was rape he wouldn't have let me get away with it. Bobby reasoned with himself, trying to argue the thoughts away.

Would he have?

Days of Becoming, Chapter 22

2008-07-10T19:42:55Z

Title: Days of Becoming, Chapter 22 - “In flagrante delicto”
Author: Talktooloose
'Verse: X-Men movieverse
Warnings: Explicit sex, swearing,
Betas: lux_apollo, mofic and kuriadalmatia in spirit.
Disclaimers: Marvel and 20th Century own the X-Men but we make them do more interesting things; and we don't mess with continuity every time we need a new EVENT!!

Series Summary: This novel focuses mainly on the paths Iceman and Pyro take on their way to adulthood and how they discover and deal with their love for each other. It is a novel about what Joni Mitchell calls "the dream's malfunction" and how we can learn to make our own dreams when our heroes fail us. Other X characters (including ones from comicverse and elsewhere) and OC's play prominent roles and the action begins before X1, continues through the events of X2 and X3 and concludes in the aftermath of that movie.

Previously in Days of Becoming: Everyone has found their way to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters: Bobby Drake from his safe home in Boston, John Allerdyce from the streets of New York City where he was a runaway and a hustler... all the other mutants kids along the paths of their own destinies. And now Mike Haddad and Jubilation Lee have arrived, having survived a run-in with anti-mutant vigilantes. The mansion is a refuge, but within its walls, passions are raging, doubts emerging.

I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. Please use the comments link at the end of the chapter to bring you back here or drop me email to talktooloose CAT toothdemon FRAUGHT net. That oughta fool the spambots for now.

Here's the chapter!

Here's the DOB homepage for earlier chapters!

Journal Entry End

2008-07-10T18:09:12Z

Title: Journal entry 6 (end)
Author: Moi
Rating: R (for language)
Pairing: John/Bobby, Kitty/Bobby, Rogue/Bobby Kitty/John (Bobby is oblivious to all pairings except Rogue/Bobby)
Summary: While helping Bobby remove John's things after the events at Alcali lake, Kitty finds John's journal/notebook. Inside she reads Johns thoughts and eventually begins to share his obsessions.

Author's note: I feel terrible for ending it like this but I really needed to get it finished or it would have just sat there collecting cyberdust.. Maybe some other time I'll get around to writing Bobby's reaction.

“I'm going after John.” Kitty declares as Leech is settled into the jet.

Storm looks at her, no surprise, no outrage, just a weary understanding, “You're sure?”

Kitty nods, “Yes, I have to.” She turns away to head back down the entrance, back into the battlefield. She looks back once more when Storm calls out to her.

“What about Bobby?”

Kitty smiles, remembering what she'd left behind, “He'll understand.” Then she is gone, into the smoke and flames. Maybe John will want her, and maybe he wont; but either way she'll be dealing with him and not just the ghost of him that she'd found in his notebook.

**********

The shock of the latest betrayal is still numbing Bobby's reflexes, so he takes a while to notice the envelope that sits innocently on his desk. Kitty leaving for the Brotherhood was unexpected; she'd given no indication of her intentions when she'd rescued Leech, it wasn't until after everything went to hell that she'd abandoned them all to search for John.

Bobby sits on his bed, trying hard not to think about it. He'd been friends with John, then John had left. And when he tries to be a better friend to Kitty she ups and leaves to join John. It is hard for Bobby not to see the pattern but he is determined to try.

Blinking away fresh tears he finally notices the envelope, addressed to him in Kitty's handwriting. He picks it up and turns it over, the back also has Kitty's handwriting.

(Please Read!!)

Curious, he opens it. The first page is from Kitty. Short and to the point.

Bobby,

This letter is actually from John, I found it in the back
of the notebook he left behind. I hope it helps you to
understand some of the things that have happened.

ShadowCat

Bobby flips to the next page, almost dreading what he will find.

Dear Bobby,
I have a confession to make (huh, maybe I should call you
Father Bobby instead, no, that makes you sound like a perverted old priest.)
About two weeks after we first met I found myself lusting after you, having the
occasional wet dream here and there; it took weeks for me to realize that I was
falling in love, and many months longer for that love to turn into an all consuming
obsession. Eventually that obsession burned out, or else I wouldn't be writing
this, instead I'd be fixating on your crouch wondering what boxers you
are wearing today.

I have you to thank for that. You to thank for disillusioning me, for helping me to see
how much of a prick you really are. You used me (seems stupid now that I've written it.)
But it's true, I fell out of love with you, got over my obsession, because you slept with me
to get at Rogue. Before that I was happy, frustrated, but happy lusting after the
unobtainable.

Now, well, it makes me think. I wonder what makes you so special
and I realize. Nothing, you are no different from any of the other 'good' boys.
So why the fuck have I been wasting my time with this? Why have I been
lusting after you when all you want in that life sucking bitch?
(not that I can blame you for wanting to get into her nicely proportioned shell.)
Wanting you is pointless, meaningless. And I think it's time for me to find a
meaning, to find something to focus on that's more than a fantasy that
will fade after the first time we fuck.

So, I guess I'm trying to say that I need to be over you.
I've decided that to do that I need to go away. I don't know how, or when
but it has to be as soon as possible. First chance I get I'll be gone,
away from you and the fixation that you've come to represent.

I don't know why I'm telling you this anyway, you probably won't
appreciate it. But I guess it helps, writing it all down, making it final.
Besides, I owe you some kind of explanation.

Since, knowing me the way I do, I was probably too much of a
coward to say goodbye in person suppose this will have to be goodbye.
I don't know yet if I intend to return, but I hope that you can understand.

Saint John

Incendiary

2008-07-10T17:14:01Z

TITLE: Incendiary
CHAPTEr: 4/6
AUTHOR/ARTIST: me
Me RATING: R
PAIRING: John/Bobby
SUMMARY and/or WARNINGS: Flangst. They thought he was dead.
NOTES: My first Johny/Bobby. I hope you like it. Comments make me write faster.;)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Bobby wanted to believe him like he wanted to kiss him. That was very badly too. “He’s being human miserable somewhere.” He sighed, placing his head in his hands. This was stressful. It was best to not meet John’s eyes.

“I highly doubt that.” There was a soft chink noise and a few people making gasping noises. Bobby quickly looked up from the table to see John swirling a little ball of fire in his hands. There was a lighter on the table, but he wasn’t holding it. “Considering my powers came back.”

It only took a minute for the mutant to react, placing his hand over top of the fire before it quickly fell to the table covered in ice. There was a smile on his features for only a minute remembering what they used to in class. It was replaced with a frown and glanced up at John.

“You’re not surprised?” He said with a grin as he picked up the lighter recently on the table. The top flicked open and close a few times until the people around them stopped watching. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t the same lighter he had been using. The only thing Bobby could think of was that someone took them from him.

Glancing around the room, he made sure everyone was minding their own business before addressing him. “Well, why would they be gone in the first place?” He asked in confusion. John had not mentioned ever losing them. “I’m kind of looking for how you even got here.”

That was true. Pyro rolled the little Zippo lighter around in his fingers trying to decide whether or not he wanted to tell Bobby. Maybe he wanted to leave him curious, but he would eventually have to tell him. He might as well get it over with.

“Basically, after you tried to beat the shit out of me-you failed by the way-the police found me in the shape you left me in. They took me to the nearest hospital, thinking I was a human of course. I guess I didn’t look very ‘mutanty’. When they found out that I was one, they gave me the cure despite my state of coma.” Iceman stared down at the table in guilt as he continued.

“I suppose their new rules is that if you have the cure then you don’t get to go to jail even though I was a terrorist. I guess they think that is punishment enough. It would have been, but the almost year I was a coma was all it took for my powers to come back. I highly doubt Magneto still has his powers too.”

Bobby was totally stunned. He didn’t know what to feel. He felt guilty, angry, happy, sad, and vengeful all in one. “That’s not good.” He said softly. He didn’t know what else to say. He was lacking in words. “You should tell them about Magneto-“

John interrupted him angrily. “Are you kidding? Then they’d take me away. Do you really want me to go to jail?” The mutant asked him in curiosity and leaned forward on the table with his arms crossed in front of him.

To tell the truth, he definitely didn’t want John to go to jail. He was happy to see his face again. He thought that maybe he could turn Pyro around to be an x-men again. Of course, he knew not to keep his hopes up. “I don’t,” He answered truthfully and was given a rare smile from John. “I want you to come back.” As if he expected anything less when he started laughing at him. He was such a jackass sometimes.

“Are you kidding?” John raised an eyebrow at Bobby, who just shook his head and looked out the window to avoid his gaze. “You’re not kidding? Well, I guess I didn’t bring you down here for a family reunion. I’m thinking the only way to keep them away from me -the police that is- is to basically either act harmless or go into a hiding. Wouldn’t the school be perfect for that?”

It would and Bobby knew it. He shrugged his shoulders lazily, trying to think of something to say. Having him back would be nice, but it wouldn’t be so easy on everyone else. He was basically a trader to everyone, and they would probably still think it. “I wasn’t kidding,” Bobby sighed in frustration and turned his head back to look at John. “I think it would be exactly what you said. You know, a place to hide and maybe keep you out of trouble.”

This was a hard decision to make. He definitely did not want to fall into that “I am helpless now, so let me become an x-man!” category. That was Bobby’s thing, not his. He still didn’t believe in their ‘Live peaceful with humans’ shit, but there was one thing that the school had that no one else did. Bobby Drake.

Judas 1/2

2008-07-10T16:43:22Z

Title: Judas 1/2
Author: yaoi_anti_drug
Beta: ladywilde80
Pairings: Bobby/John
Genre: Drama, Angst
Characters: John, Bobby, various X-Men and inconsequential OCs
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post-The Last Stand, John is captured a year and a half after Alcatraz.
Word Count: about 4,380
Spoilers: X-2 and The Last Stand
Warnings: Movie-verse, Violence, Angst, Dark!fic, Non-Con in the next chapter
Notes: Thanks you so much ladywilde80 for helping to get me writing again! This is my first X-Men fic, so be kind. Constructive criticism is always loved, comments, even if it’s to say you hate it, are always appreciated too.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, if I did, the X-Men would be made entirely of gay men simply for my enjoyment.

Judas 1/2

X-Posted at xmmff

Icons

2008-07-10T07:34:48Z

Ok well i was going to post some anywas so it is really wierd that someone else did it just before me. I know they are not that great but if you tale please give credit. They contain: x-men, Supernatural and the latest batman movie! Oh and also the terminator: the sarah conner chronicals

The rest can be found on may page here:
http://kate-pyro.livejournal.com/1582.html

icons

2008-07-09T20:44:07Z

Aaron Stanford, Anna Paquin, Clémence Poésy, Gaspard Ulliel, Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Emily Browning, Keira Knightley, Shawn Ashmore, Zooey Deschanel, X-Men...

preview

here at my journal ♥

Hey

2008-07-09T09:57:13Z

Hey,
I'm doing some photo manipulations with John, a few years after Alcatraz, and was wondering what kind of facial tattoo he'd have (besides the Chinese fire symbol.) Any ideas from anyone?