Possibly old news, but I don't recall seeing it before: ( Merkin's Moon )

Now I know this has been done to death. Little teenager fluff bunnies, oh my. I have to admit though, in my overworked, tired, typo haze, I like the responses to this girl. Well except for one.

http://community.livejournal.com/wiccan/1370760.html?nc=35

and people wonder why I walked away...far...far...away...

While I was on the bus today, I got to watch two little gothlings discussing their foray into Satanism. Imagine, if you will, a skinny, spotty boy trying desperately to be Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, complete with "Z?" shirt, slicked and pointed dyed black hair, and a pallor that came from Hot Topic or his mother's makeup case. We'll call him Gothling 1. Gothling 2 was a young girl, her dyed black and red and purple hair held back with a tatty red velvet and lace ribbon. Wearing This, over ripped up black fishnets with thin red velvet lace woven through and tied around her wrists. Stripey wicked witch stockingtights in black and red, and mary janes. I wanted to pet her, she was so cute. Makeup done ala Marilyn Manson.

Gothling 2, sulking: "I did everything right out of the Necronomicon, and the candles didn't even flicker. I don't get it. It should have summoned at least an imp."
Gothling 1, smarmy and oozing: "Well, it takes practice to summon the Dark Lords. I mean, you can't just call 'em up on your first time out. That's not how it works. You have to build up Power and Focus first."
Gothling 2, still sulking: "I did that! Ritual cleansing bath, Stones of Power around the circle, my Athame (pronounced aye-theme) and my Black Knife, and the three drops of blood!"
Gothling 1, smarmy and oozing: "That's good, that's good.. It's a good start, but you have to work with more Power than that. More blood, or sex, are good ways to harvest it."

At this point, I snorted a laugh - I couldn't help it. The Random Capitals of Doom that you could hear, the 'Dark Lords', the freaking NECRONOMICON.. couldn't keep a straight face.

Gothling 1, angry at me: "What the fuck are you laughing at?!"
Me: (To Gothling 2) "He's trying to get in your pants."
Gothling 2, shocked: "No he isn't!"
Me: "I'll bet you a dollar his next line was going to be an offer to help you 'Focus' and 'gather Power', either by bloodplay or offering to have sex with you."
Gothling 2: "It wasn't!" Turning to G1 "It wasn't, was it!? Tell her it wasn't!"
Gothling 1: *silent, glaring at me*
Me: "Yuhuh. Crappiest way to get into a girls pants, pretty much ever. Necronomicon as a reference tool? Puhfucklinglease. If you can buy it at Borders, just how good do you think it's gonna be?"
Gothling 2, glaring at G1: "That's sick, Greg. If you wanted a date, all you had to do was ask."
Gothling 1, still glaring at me: "I told you, it's not Greg anymore!"
Gothling 2, eyerolling: "Ok, OZRYMANDIUM, it's still shitty! Satanism is a serious business! You shouldn't cheapen it by using it to try to get a date!"

And then it was their stop, and they left the bus, still bickering.

So much snark material!
-T

Before Cochrane:

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.

One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.

After Cochrane:

Baa baa black buck,
Have you any blood?
Nine quarts full sir,
By leaf and bud.

Three for the Lady,
Three for the Lord,
Three for the Initiate
Who cuts his own cord.

And doubtless Jack and Jill stands for the Great Rite, while The Itsy Bitsy Spider represents the cycle of the year.

(Inspired by multiple e-mails, posts, and comments... and my grumpy mood...)

You are NOT a SOLITAIRE Wiccan, or even a solitaire witch. You are a *solitary* witch. A solitaire is a pretty rock, like the ones in your head, in a setting for just one jewel, or it's a game.

(On looking it up in the dictionary, I found that a solitaire is also a flightless bird related to the dodo. This strikes me as funny.)

A local priestess of sacred sexuality calls herself Inara (actually admitting she got it from Firefly) and has named her temple...The Temple Serenity.

I keep having to remind myself that magic is will and hard work, not ... er ... chanting pseudo-witchy doggerel at plants. The latter seems to be becoming more and more common.

Get 3 weeds that have been stealing one of your plants food, water, soil, etc. and place it in your Cauldron filled with water.

Place a picture of the person in which you're going to curse. (and only you can curse them or it comes back at the person most significant to you.) then chant the following 3 times.

"You have been so evil stealing my guy/girl,
so unto you this curse I hurl,
don't ever go near my very best friend,
or another time this curse I'll send"

"Guy" doesn't rhyme with "hurl." Unless that last word is meant to be pronounced as "guygirl," which at least suggests that the magician is covering all their bases.

Also, what the hell does the parenthetical insert mean?

I love how in the description of this article it says you can create " your own rune set - and without the danger of losing a finger to the carving knife"

Fluffy runes!

It's okay if you make them, I won't tell. Just pick some better colors, okay?

EDIT: I am a knitter crocheter and I spin my own yarn. So I understand. The snark is on the fact that the reason she says to do it is because "you don't want to cut yourself making runes with a big scary knife."
Just for clarification.



and so the knitters don't feel left out... here is something you can make that has runes on it that is definitely, in my opinion, much cooler
http://www.theanticraft.com/archive/samhain05/curseyourbf.htm

The supply of pagan statuary on the 'net, rich fount of creativity that it is, has stunned me yet again. I give you the Shiny Acrylic Goddess.

At Last! Stone Age Imagery meets High Tech visionary. This ancient Goddess arising from a perfect crystal cluster gently and hypnotically chages from clarity through a living rainbow of colors. In the darkness of your meditation space or at your bedside, let this divine guardian spirit open the dreaming gateway between worlds. Standing 8 1/2 inches tall, poured from optically pur acrylic, no caves had to die to let our Crystal Goddess Live! This statue looks beautiful on light bases also!

Poor damned caves, slaughtered by the truckload -- they haven't even got a Salem Spelunking Museum.

Another horror: A Thoth who seems to have the head of a bloated frog. Swallowing a Ping-Pong ball. With a bishounen's overly-tanned body.

...Silly me for trying to find a statue that ISN'T made of resin or plastic, and is more than six inches high. I repent my sinful ways! Reconstructing an ancient religion doesn't work so well in terms of buyable shrine equipment.

Oh Great and Mighty Published Pagan Author!

Humbly I submit to thy will in all things!
Under you, shall I dedicate all my deeds!
Bringing all to your publicist, and bringing the Great Master Llewyllen great offerings of green papers!
Reality shall quake in your blusterings!
I shall even dedicate weekly sacrifices of fluffies.
So mote it be.

(O HUBRIS)

Sure, why not.........

"Haunted Witch Panties -- New -- Aphrodite's Love Spell" (eBay)

"Up for auction is a very fun item from Jessamyn's estate. I actually laughed when I read this entry in her journal/Book of Shadows...what a delightful woman she was! This listing is for a very daring pair of G-string panties, size 6. They are made by Secret Treasures, and are a nylon/spandex blend. The back of the panties has a beautiful rhinestone/crystal decoration, and it is this item that Jessamyn has cast with her very powerful Aphrodite Love Spell! According to her journal, she cast this spell on quite a number of these items as fun little Valentine's gifts for her great-granddaughters and great-nieces last year, and they were so popular that she charmed several more pairs for their friends. She had a few pairs left over, and they are now in her estate items. They are brand new of course, never worn by anyone else."

What's next, a copy of Llewyelln's "Guide to Practical Scanty Panty Magic" ?? No wait, the ad said "Jessamyn" was from Ireland, so it would be "Ancient Celtic Knickers Craft" or something like that.

(crossposted to templeofthecat and dot_pagan_snark)

Of COURSE Narnia has Christian overtones.
God sang the song used for the closing credits, how more Christian can you get?

Yes, Virginia, J.R.R. Tolkein and C.S. Lewis were devout Christians and dedicated theologians. Some of this might have actually showed up in their fiction. If the allegorical potentials are too much for your "never again the burning times" worldview, please stay away and shut the fuck up.

This "Ancient Love Spell" on eBay inspires questions.

Namely, with the cursor, why is Tinkerbell's butt on fire?

Ancient-Love Spell-Do You Believe in Fairies?? I DO !!! Triple Spell- Your Choice- Powerful- 100% Guarantee

(crosspost, templeofthecat, dot_pagan_snark)

"Being glutton for punishment, I dare posting on this forum again, even though I am perfectly aware that my name is being dragged through the dirt right now by some individuals."

So, let's see; you admit you've been made fun of before in this community for making assumptions that are in no way based on scholarship, but you've come back for more. This time, it's a bleeding heart session about how Asatruar should be doing more for Native American groups because they're all poor drunkards. Oh, how kind of you to prompt us to help another group because their beliefs are "earth based." Erm, when was Asatru considered strictly "earth based?" And, yeah, the persecution of a people (past or present) does not equate that they are the same or "nearly identical." Lastly, there is no generic "Native American" belief... go read some ethnographies and history books before you speak about other groups next time. Even going and looking into current events in regard to specific groups of people may help. I may not be the most knowledgeable (I'm far from it), but I know better to do a little research or ask for some sources before I make broad assumptions about an issue.

Does anyone know of a psychic store, ??? where I can buy psychic materials? I am still *VERY* new to Ontario, live about 30 mins from Toronto & I can't find any psychic stores, etc in the phonebooks. I am in need of sea salts & some other small things. Most of my stuff that I had collected, purchased for my practice? are still in Missouri.


Ummm, try looking at a health food store? How about a regular store? Most carry sea salt now without the 500% markup for it being a "psychic" store. Have you tried a bookstore? What about the Internet?

< headshake >

I am in great woe.

There are three pieces of jewelry that I love dearly. Two of which are earrings (which I lost one pair to) and a venice pendant I got when I was in italy a couple of years ago.

Please....please

can someone tell me a good Lost & Found Spell, and a simple one too, I am just a newbie at Wicca and I do not have many supplies, and before you bombard me with questions, I did do a good search in my room and house and I did not find it!! and I know I have them in my house because I usually take my jewelry off in my room or another part of the house.


Or maybe you could just do some more searching in your house?

OK, that's it... I don't care if she's only 16, in my opinion that is no excuse for being a moron.

We were all 16 once, and most of us were not complete twits at that age like she is. Maybe if she was only 12 (at the very least) I would excuse her stupidity and immaturity.

Hmph.

Note: people from black_cats, teenmagick and probably a few other communities will know who I am talking about. Apologies to anyone who doesn't know what I'm on about... basically I am referring to a 16 year old girl who constantly asks stupid questions and says stupid things in these communities, and there appears to be no end in sight! *Cries* Make it stop!

So, what are the pagan origins of Thanksgiving? Every other holiday seems to be pagan based. Even Independence Day.

"But isn't paganism older than christianity? there were pagans honoring Gods, Goddesses, other dieties, congering circles, prayer,chants, rituals, holidays, even spells/curses way back when. but this was considered the norm, though not all were witches?"

Congering circles? Congering circles?

See folks? All that dancing round naked holding hands.. you're doing it all wrong!! The Ancient Ones did the Conga!