It's not news to say that men and women are different.   These differences are highlighted in the context of relationships.   We often admire and get excited about those differences in the opposite sex.   Then we get married and the man of steel is perplexed by the princess with glass shoes.

Most of us generally get married because we want to be loved (and we want to love someone else… but mostly we want to be loved).  Men and women experience this need for love in different ways.
   
In general men are like superheroes.   We're generally misperceived as wanting to be the king of everything so that we can control everything (our natural tendency towards remote controls only helps to solidify this misperception).  Most men don't want to be the king of the world (although it would be a cool job) but we do want our wives to see us as Superman.   Men have an ingrained need and desire for our wives to see and treat us as invincible, capable men of steel.   Of course, we know that we're not and we know that our wives know that we are not but still we want them to see us this way.  It doesn't make sense but we're just wired this way.   The approval and support of our wives communicates love to us.  Husbands need their wives to believe in them.   We often get angry, defensive, or hurt when someone points out our faults and when our weaknesses are pointed out to others we feel judged and criticized. 
 
Men are more project and task oriented than women and get identity from what they do.   This isn't just limited to work but often includes work/career and because of this, some men get a lot of emotional needs met at work.   Because this is so strongly ingrained in our being, men will naturally spend more time and attention where their abilities and strengths are recognized and admired.   What we do was never intended to define who we are, it was designed to give some purpose and meaning, but we take it too far when we let it become our identity.    This is also one of the reasons why husbands try to fix their wives' problems rather than just listening to them.  It is ingrained in men to tackle problems and see results.   It is not that most men see their wives as incapable or helpless, it is just built into men to fix problems so they do this (unaware that they come off insensitive or criticizing how the wife handled the situation).   Superman is supposed to rescue Lois Lane and save the world. Men are under the false impression that Lois needs to be rescued.

Identity is important to men of steel, especially their secret identity.   They don't usually want others to see or point out their weaknesses for fear they will use it against them.   This is especially true at home.   Home should be their fortress, a safe place to let down all of those superhero defenses.   When they get attacked at home (whether they are guilty or not) they find it hard to open up.   Men of steel are, after all, only steel on the outside, the bullets bounce off (or so they want you to think) while on the inside they are hurt and wounded by the bullets.   Wives often comment that husbands don't share their emotions, don't open up, and won't be vulnerable.  Letting others see that secret identity (emotion) would let others see their weak spots.
  
Bullets bounce off the man of steel but kryptonite is deadly.  Any true superman aficionado knows that kryptonite is from his home planet of krypton and is the one element that kills superman.   It is on the home front that men can be hurt the most.   Men don't communicate this much because it makes them vulnerable and they don't usually say it in these terms.  

Wives, who see them for who they really are, hold the power to build them up or tear them down.  It is not limited to the blatant comments that a wife doesn't respect her husband or listing off everything that he has done wrong, it is also the indirect comments that he doesn't measure up, "it's not the way so and so's husband is",  or "the tires on the car look low".    A man's home should be his secure fortress away from attacks and danger.   Of course, because men don't communicate this well when they feel attacked, they don't address the real issue but rather lash out or shut down.

Along comes Cinderella.   Just as men have this deeply seated need to have the support and respect of their wives, wives have a strong need for their husbands to pick them first, the shoe is only supposed to fit one woman.

In general, women want and need their man to put them first above everything else.  This doesn't mean that the husband has to quit his job, sell the boat, give up hunting, or never watch another football game but it does mean that wives want their husbands to be willing to do that.  Most men would give their lives for their wives.   They would take a bullet to save them (being superman they can do this) but they're not always that willing to take out the trash. 

Wives need to know that their husbands choose them on a daily basis.  This is communicated in a variety of ways:  when a husband takes the time to listen to how his wife's day has been, when he puts her needs or desires before his own agenda, when he takes the time to find the beauty in his wife and let her know that he sees that.   When a husband finds time for everything, except the one thing that his wife has been asking him to fix for six months, she feels 10th on his list not first. 
 
Because women tend to be more relational, they are looking to connect on more than just a physical or task oriented level.   Wives want to know that their husbands see them and value them for who they really are.  Can he see me and treasure me for who I am, not just for what I do.   Superman is physical and communicates on a physical level while Cinderella needs to connect on a relational level to feel loved.  

In Superman language, he thinks this means sex but in Cinderella's language, it means connecting through quality time (actually talking while helping her wash the dishes).   When a wife shares a struggle at work with her husband, she may not be looking for him to step in and fix her problem, she may just be looking to connect with him, to know that he is listening and that the problem is important to him because it is important to her.