My Eternal Curse, Chapter 5
So, I did a Sue Litmus Test, for dear ol' Virginia. Guess what happened. My computer asploded in a giant fireball! It was quite fantastic.


Story Or Series Title: My Eternal Curse
Fandom: You mean it's NOT the Ginny Weasley series?
Culprit Author's Name: Mara456

Full Name (plus titles if any): Virginia Weasley, the Guardian
Full Species(es): Savior of the World
Hair Color (include adjectives): Canon, I believe. "done up in a set of beautiful ring-curls"
Eye Color (include adjectives): I think this is also canon.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None?
Special Possessions (if any): Tom Riddle living in her head, a wand with a double core that she doesn't seem to need because she's just that good, a sooper special snake familiar, and a Sparklypoo Necklace of DESTINY that OMG totally owns her instead. Also, Grey Magic, which is neither Light nor Dark and is insanely powerful. A Prophesy. (Though to be fair *rolls eyes* it also involves Harry, Snape, the Tom Riddle in her head, and the real Voldemort.) A room of her very own at Hogwarts where all the cool kids like to go to hang out. Shall I go on, or is that enough?

Annoying Origin: A blender and about a hundred lesser sue-fics.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to think she is one. Tom lives in her head. Snape is her mentor slash father figure slash failed love interest. Is resorted into a brand-shiny-new house the Sorting Hat made up just for her. Dumbledore mind-rapes her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can talk to EVERYTHING: Animals, plants, inanimate objects, invisible people, etc. Can pull solid objects out of thin air, including complete potions (and they're always perfectly pure). Being so ridiculously powerful that she can't do normal spells without endangering people's lives. Can influence the weather. She's a Seer, and every little prediction she makes comes true even if it's just a sarcastic "when hell freezes over" kind of remark. THE LIST JUST GOES ON AND ON!
Other Annoying Traits: Is emo-er than thou. When she cries, even the skies cry with her. Literally. She crawls under her bed and cries for like a week solid and a storm-of-the-century settles over Hogwarts because she's so in tune with nature that it responds to her whims. That was the point that I finally gave up hope of her actually returning to something vaguely resembling canon even when you squint. Ri-fricken-diculous! Her mere presence brings out the full potential of everyone she comes in contact with. The ability to turn Harry into a supporting character. Makes Tom Riddle good and Dumbledore a bastard.

I'm sporking with the three teenage boys from the movie Drillbit Taylor because my own OCs wouldn't come out to play. I haven't actually seen the movie, but I've been all over the website and I think I have a decent handle on their characters. Besides, they're three geeky teenage boys who hate bullies and hire a bodyguard to protect them. What else is there to know?

Here's my disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series, the movie Drillbit Taylor or the fanfic My Eternal Curse, so please don't pull Meyshi on me.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: With pleasure!



Chapters 1 and 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4




SNIP: Harry's harrassed by Malfoy in exposition mode, who lets Harry know of Ginny's prediction. Trelawny finishes the recap for Dumbledore.

Ginny ran into her empty dorm room and locked the door behind her. She had spent the entire day avoiding Harry, Mark, and just about everyone else, for that matter. Harry probably wanted to know if the rumors were true, or if she was just making it up. Ginny knew she would have to talk to him sooner or later, but as far as she was concerned, the later, the better. Meanwhile everyone else around her was either avoiding her like the plague, or constantly pressing her for details. Ginny lost her temper with the last group, and threatened to predict each of their deaths if they didn’t get out of her way. They practically ran over each other to get away from her.

Wade: As opposed to blowing it off as a joke, or a bad dream, or a cry for attention.

Then there was Mark. He seemed like a nice guy, who was genuinely interested in her. But the last guy who seemed genuinely interested in her turned out to be a young You-Know-Who. She liked Mark but… No, she wasn’t going to risk something like that happening a second time. Whether or not there was a chance he would find out about her secret. It was better to be alone than to ever be hurt like that again… but she was never alone, was she? Tom was always there, watching her. She was never going to be free, at this rate. She would always have to answer to him in one form or another, as long as they were together. But, when was the last time she didn’t have to answer to somebody? She couldn’t even remember if there ever was one. She shook her head. This was getting her nowhere, fast.

Ryan: You're telling us. We already know this junk.

Mini-Snip

"I have just one little dream, and everyone goes ballistic," Ginny said quietly, as she sat down on her four poster-bed. "Stupid Divination teacher just had to tell everyone "it’s a vision of Harry’s death," and now everyone’s freaking. Tom, what am I going to do?"

Emmit: Whine about it, apparently!
Ryan: Why would anybody believe Trelawny? Everyone but Dumbledore thinks she's a hack.
Wade: Because that would be canon. Duh. And it wouldn't give Sue pointless angst.

SNIP: Moar recapping, as Ginny tells da Trio of da vision. Harry gets thinky, Ron's scared, Hermione's skeptical. They talk about it at length with no outcome and then Ginny visits Lupin, who's returned to be Defense teacher again even though he's still a werewolf. They talk about fate and it's all very boring and LONG. Then Ginny and Tom talk. NOTHING HAPPENS BUT TALKING.

It watched Ginny talk to herself from a distance. It couldn’t hear what she said. If it had, it would have had its answer, in one form, or another. But it heard nothing. It tried in vain to read her lips, as she sat down under a tree. It cursed silently. It was still too far away to see Ginny’s lips clearly. It would have moved closer if it could, but that was still too dangerous for it at the moment. It had sensed her unusual sensitivity when it had first encountered her. It knew that she was more than she seemed. It knew she had potential… If it got too close, it would scare her off or worse, it could be discovered. At the moment it only wanted to observe her, and work on a way to get past her sensitivity to it. Perhaps once that was accomplished, it would be able to do more. It was nothing, if not patient. It could wait. For as long as it needed too…

Emmit: It hates teh hobbitsez, yes, it does! *wrings hands*
Ryan: You know, I've been trying very hard not to crack jokes, but you make it very difficult for me.
Emmit: *blows raspberries*
Wade: So, wait... What's going on here? I'm totally lost.
Shmeilia: Me too. I've read this epic Suefic several times and I can't ever remember anything coming from this particular bit of weirdness. EVER. It's very random.
Wade: Oh good. I thought it was just me there for a minute.

SNIP: Ginny has an internal monologue about nothing important.

Ginny thought about none of this, as she headed to Potions class. The only thing on her mind at the moment was getting to class early, so she could discus her grades with Professor Snape. She had decided that her constant black moods and panicking wasn’t getting rid of Tom any faster, so she threw herself into her studies instead. Potions was one of her best subjects. She liked Potions; despite of the way the Potions master treated her. Ginny wanted to make sure she reached her full potential, and needed to ask Snape if there was any way she could improve her potions making. The idea of such a discussion would terrify most of the non-Slytherins of her year, but it barely fazed her. Compared to Tom living inside her head, this was easy. She heard nearly tense voices as she approached the classroom. After a moment, Ginny realized that the voices belonged to Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor Snape. Ginny strained to hear what they were saying, but couldn’t. A few moments later Dumbledore left the classroom, going the other way. She took a deep breath, and entered the classroom. Snape didn’t seem to notice that she was there.

"Professor Snape?" Ginny asked. Snape looked up at her with his usual look of disdain.

"What do you want, Weasley?" Snape snapped.

"My grades in potions are fair…" Ginny said. "But I think I can do better. I was hoping you could tell me what I needed to do to bring out my full potential?"

"Mediocre is more like it," said Snape. "But your still better than most of your dunderhead classmates… I suggest you get a tutor if you’re serious about improvement. Try Mark Dippet, he’s one of my best students, and he wouldn’t mind tutoring you."

Wade: Wow, Snape's almost in character here. Too bad it probably won't last.
Ryan: Sue, however, continues to be Speshul. 'Oooh, I can stand up to Snape, and I'm not scared! Everyone else shakes in their boots but not ME!'

"He is the best person to help you in the areas your having trouble with," Snape said. "If you’re serious about improving your grades, unlike your idiotic Gryffindor classmates, then I can think of no one better to tutor you… Unless there’s some reason you don’t want to ask him?"

"No, sir," Ginny said. She didn’t want to ask Mark for help any more than she wanted to tell Snape why she didn’t want to work with him… and she did want to improve. "I’ll ask him later today… Thank you for your time, sir."

Wade: And don't forget, Sue-Friend-Slash-Potential-Love-Interest -hereby known as SF-PLI, which appropriately makes him sound like a robot- is his best student.
Ryan: Oh, right. GAG ME.

SNIP: Sue meets up with SF-PLI and finds out he needs a tutor in Charms, at which she happens to be awesome. Then Sue stares at the fire in the common room and Ron talks to her about her talking to Snape. He's baffled that she'd just ask the man for advice. (I think Ron's a bit of an idiot in this, but that's not surprising in a Suefic.) Then they talk about Quidditch. Did I mention there's a lot of useless talking?

"Have you heard about the Gryffindor Quidditch team’s tryouts scheduled for this weekend?" Ron asked, trying to change the subject.

"Ron, you’re captain of the team, and you’ve been going on about it nonstop for a week," Ginny retorted. "How could I not hear about it? Why do you ask?"

Emmit: So we can has "As you already know, Bob..."

"Are you planning on trying out?" Ron asked.

"No," Ginny said.

"Come on Gin," Ron said. "I’ve seen you. You’re great on a broom! We need Beaters who can think fast, and know how to use a broom, especially after what happened to our Beaters last year. Just say you’ll try out. Please?"

Ryan: Of course she is. Raise your hand if you're surprised by this. Anyone?
Wade: Canonically speaking, she really is a good Quiddtch player. Of course, this was written before we discovered her talent...
Ryan: So we can count it as a Sue trait, yes. That's THREE so far, if you also count the played-up lack of sufficient Snape fear and everyone believing her vision without question. I'm letting the charms skills thing slide for now.

Ginny didn’t answer him.

Mini-Flashback-Snip

"I’ll do it," Ginny said. "Only if you promise me that if I make it on the team, it’ll be because I’m good enough. Not because I’m your sister."

"I promise," Ron said.

"Thank you," Ginny said, fervently hoping she wouldn’t regret this.

Ryan: And you know she will. PREDICTABLE.

Mini-Snip: Down to the Quidditch Pitch

"Where’s Ron?" Ginny asked. "He said he would be here."

"I don’t know," Harry said. "Ron left his broom with me for you to practice on. He’ll probably be by later to see how we’re doing. Now, lets get started."

First they went over the basics of working with Bludgers, and started practicing with one. Ginny missed the Bludger only once out of ten attempts to hit it.

"How am I doing?" Ginny asked.

"You’re doing pretty good," Harry said. "You can hit the Bludger. Now lets see if you can handle ducking them."

Harry flew up to more than sixty feet in the air. Ginny, following his lead, elevated with him. They worked on her dodging the Bludger any way she could, for ten minutes. Ginny noticed Ron talking in the stands with Hermione. An alarm bell went off in her head at the sight and she turned to ask Harry for a timeout. It happened so fast, that time seemed to slow for Ginny. Without warning Harry cried out in agony, clutching his scar tightly with both hands. He slipped off of his broom, plummeting headfirst to the ground below.

Ginny didn’t freeze this time, as she heard an echo of the same horrible laughter from the dream. Without even making the conscious decision, Ginny sped towards him, relying on pure instinct and talent to get her through this. She tried to catch him in midair, but was knocked off of her own broom by the force of Harry landing on her. They both hit the ground with a sickeningly painful thud, and Ginny knew no more.

Emmit: I REGRET NOTHING! MWA-HAHAHAHAHA- *chokes, coughs, gasps* -WAHAHAHAHA!
Ryan: Oops, looks like Hobbit killed the Sue. Oh well, does this mean we're done? *gets up to leave*
Shmeilia: *shoves him back into the chair* Nice try, but no. We still have forty-one chapters left.
Ryan: Ah, shucks. *pouts*


Wade: So, what's our Sue-Score?
Ryan: Ten points, and that's just in the last two chapters. That's an average of five speshul things happening per chapter.
Wade: Wow.
Emmit: Ya rly.