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Deleterius is a place full of snarky, bitter, jaded, and somewhat bored canon nazis who will not hesitate to tear you several new orifices should you have the audacity to rape their beloved canon and their beloved canon characters.
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December 19th, 2009

Harry Potter and the Twin Death Eater...

[info]dancing_chimera
12/19/09 06:24 pm
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BiggerBleeprin
Story Or Series Title: The Dark Lords Raven or so he thought
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: mercedescello

Full Name (plus titles if any): The Author's Note that is Chapter Seven says that it's been taken care of, but I'm still confused. For now, it's “Raven Mercedes Jade Beetle/Potter.”
Full Species(es): Surprise!Twin Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): I've word-searched all six chapters, and she describes the hair of every canon character, but not of her own OC. She keeps calling Pansy “the dark-haired girl” in the second chapter, though, and in order for that to make sense, she must be blond. Which is very wtf when you remember that her twin has black hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): No mention. Green would make sense, so I'm going to guess brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The Dark Mark
Special Possessions (if any): Draco, Ron, and Fred's balls. Voldy's esteem.

Annoying Origin: She was magically transported into Lily's womb from Sueland.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's a Death Eater, then later an Order of the Phoenix member, she's Draco's best friend, she's good friends with Hermione and Ginny, she's Harry's twin sister, and Fred, Ron, and Draco are in love with her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Makes everyone around her forget all about their canon concerns and worry only about her. She also has some strange ability to alter the canon progression of friendships, make everyone around her agree with her no matter what, change canon events, and make everyone completely ignore the painfully obvious absence of a reoccurring character.
Other Annoying Traits: She blames Draco for everything. Everything. She belittles him constantly, hits him whenever she feels like it, and then begins belittling him again if he complains about it. And I don't think we're supposed to see the relationship as abusive. She's also a raging hypocrite.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( Onto Part Four! )
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Dobby and Grawp. Dobby. And. GRAWP!!!!!

[info]tawaki
12/19/09 01:45 pm
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Story or Series Title: A Night in Dobby. NSFW, NSFB!
Fandom: Harry Potter Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic-Thank-God
CulpritAuthor's Name: pervyisfun
Full Names: Dobby, Grawp
Full Species: House Elf, Giant
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): N/A and like in canon, respectively
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions: Each other's balls.
Annoying Origin: A sick mind
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Have two in Mad-Eye's trunk
Annoying Special Abilities: Have everyone OOC.
Other Annoying Traits: ghjku8jibhjb vgfftrftghftgtr6yu67y8ujklm ;l,;l,'0

( The Summary )

( The fic )
  • Current Mood: nauseated
  • Current Music: "Four Minutes, Thirty-Three Seconds" -- John Cage
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December 20th, 2009

Cop this s**t!

[info]shikishinobi
12/20/09 12:15 am
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Ninja Limit
Story/Series title: Carly Perry and the Boy Who Lived
Fandom: Harry Potter and the sue who seriously wouldn’t let up.
Culprit Author’s Name: Brunette_beauty_1 Read it when you have a decade or two free.
Full name’s: Carly Perry, Harry, hermione, Ron, Percy, Lee, Neville, Seamus, Nearly Headless Nick, Draco, Professors McGonagall, Snape, Quirrell (am I spelling that right?) Dumbledore and Hagrid. Peeves also makes a minor appearance,a s do some of the other house ghosts.
Species: Canonrape, to the worst degree that most chapters and ideas are stolen from the book/s.
Hair and Eye Color: Carly: Golden Blond hair with bangs.
Unusual markings/colorations: Nothing specific.
Special Possessions: HPPS to quote word for word, a barn owl named Bush and a wand that is specifically like Harry’s.
Annoying Origins: That special place in the Pit reserved for sues who can’t have an original thought, so they plagiarize canon just to make it look like they are capable of using canon.
Supposed Connection to Canon: A death grip on Hermione as a friend, trying to befriend Draco who is being canon and is not interested, conversations with other characters.Other characters act canon at times when they are being quoted, at other times you can tell the difference.
Annoying Special Abilities: Is agreeable, gullible and able to meld herself into the plot. Is born and raised in New York (USA) but simply CAN NOT stand rudeness. To carry on about being a vegetarian (you know the sort of people I am talking about, not meaning all vegetarians).
Other Annoying Traits: To get sorted into Gryffindor, when she is clearly a Slytherin. What? She is out for herself and her loyalty to her friends is only to make her look canon.
Past Sporking: Carly Perry 1.1
Carly Perry 1.2
Sporkers Notes: This thing, before sporking, was 16 pages long. Shoot me now! But considering how much I have to snip, it’ll be about the length of ‘One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish,’ or so I hope. I am doing my best not to spork the original thing and keep all her... crap in the story. I am going to have to read the book chapter by chapter to keep up with her.
( Bleeprin,_Quick! )
  • Current Music: Push Da Button
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December 17th, 2009

It's the return of Riley, Sue Extraordinaire!

[info]mirandagaara
12/17/09 12:00 am
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Story Or Series Title: http://quizilla.teennick.com/stories/1174650/riley-potter-witch-extraordinaire-3rd-year-part-5-gryffindor-versus-slytherin-a-pre-harry-tale
Fandom: Harry Potter And The Sue Of Doom
Culprit Author's Name: ladygaladrianna
Full Name (plus titles if any): Riley Potter
Full Species(es): Extra Sister Sparklypoo
Hair Colour (include adjectives): Not mentioned
Eye Colour (include adjectives): Silver, only she makes them look blue. Startling blue.
Unusual Markings/Colourations: A silvery ring around both retinas.
Special Possessions (if any): None
Annoying Origin: Quizilla, The Pit Of Shrews
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is James' Potter's sister and best friends with the other Marauders. Also has Snape's balls.
Annoying Special Abilities: Speshul talents that cause her to skip a grade, plus ZOMGSPESHULANGELPOWERZ. She can also do wandless magic, due to said powers.
Other Annoying Traits: Is annoyingly chirpy, plus she's half fallen angel.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( It's Riley The Wonder Sue! )
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December 15th, 2009

All the story for now

[info]tawaki
12/15/09 12:11 pm
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Story or Series Title: The Hope Within
Fandom: Lord of the Messed-Up Family Trees
Culprit Author's Name: bostongrl1661
Full Name: Raina Peredhil
Full Species: Human/Elf hybrid
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): "Black as coal"
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): "silvery-grey", but turn red when she's mad
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Well, once the PPC are through with her...
Special Possessions: Legolas, it looks like.
Annoying Origin: Elrond and Celebrían
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Elrond and Celebrían's daughter; Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen's sister; Vardamir's cousin.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to precognition, she has some power that makes people afraid to leave her alone
Other Annoying Traits: hbjhjyu7gyutyt65trcgfbv cv bvcgf3

( One more talk with Adanessa )

( On the road again )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "Take a Chance on Me" -- ABBA
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December 14th, 2009

An all-penguin spork

[info]tawaki
12/14/09 11:33 am
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2

Story or Series Title: The Hope Within
Fandom: Lord of the Messed-Up Family Trees
Culprit Author's Name: bostongrl1661
Full Name: Raina Peredhil
Full Species: Human/Elf hybrid
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): "Black as coal"
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): "silvery-grey", but turn red when she's mad
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Well, once the PPC are through with her...
Special Possessions: Legolas, it looks like.
Annoying Origin: Elrond and Celebrían
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Elrond and Celebrían's daughter; Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen's sister; Vardamir's cousin.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to precognition, she has some power that makes people afraid to leave her alone
Other Annoying Traits: hbjhjyu7gyutyt65trcgfbv cv bvcgf3

( The dreaded meeting with Arwen )

( Back to Legolas )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "Four Minutes, Thirty-Three Seconds" -- John Cage
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December 13th, 2009

Chapter three, in which everyone Fails but George, who is chilling with Peter in Narnia.

[info]dancing_chimera
12/13/09 04:57 pm
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BiggerBleeprin
Story Or Series Title: The Dark Lords Raven or so he thought
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: mercedescello

Full Name (plus titles if any): I think I've figured it out. She was raised as “Raven Mercedes Beetle,” and she goes by “Mercedes” or “Mer,” but her birth name is “Jade Potter.” The original middle name is still unknown. (It's either that, or the Suethor just decided to randomly change her name halfway through the fic. The couple that raised her just randomly starts calling her Jade when they tell her she isn't really their daughter, and she instantly switches over to thinking of herself as Jade and pretty much everyone but Draco starts calling her Jade. But she goes back to thinking of herself as “Mercedes” in the sixth chapter, so maybe the Suethor is deeply confused.)
Full Species(es): Surprise!Twin Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): I've word-searched all six chapters, and she describes the hair of every canon character, but not of her own OC. She keeps calling Pansy “the dark-haired girl” in the second chapter, though, and in order for that to make sense, she must be blond. Which is very wtf when you remember that her twin has black hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): No mention. Green would make sense, so I'm going to guess brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The Dark Mark
Special Possessions (if any): Draco, Ron, and Fred's balls. Voldy's esteem.

Annoying Origin: She was magically transported into Lily's womb from Sueland.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's a Death Eater, then later an Order of the Phoenix member, she's Draco's best friend, she's good friends with Hermione and Ginny, she's Harry's twin sister, and Fred, Ron, and Draco are in love with her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Makes everyone around her forget all about their canon concerns and worry only about her. She also has some strange ability to alter the canon progression of friendships.
Other Annoying Traits: She blames Draco for everything. Everything. She belittles him constantly, hits him whenever she feels like it, and then begins belittling him again if he complains about it. And I don't think we're supposed to see the relationship as abusive. She's also a raging hypocrite. She turns Ginny into one, too.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( Even a page of this would have been too long. )
  • Current Location: Strawberry Feilds
  • Current Mood: anxious
  • Current Music: "Bye Bye Beautiful" by Nightwish
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December 12th, 2009

Enter Legolas

[info]tawaki
12/12/09 08:57 pm
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Chapter 1

Story or Series Title: The Hope Within
Fandom: Lord of the Messed-Up Family Trees
Culprit Author's Name: bostongrl1661
Full Name: Raina Peredhil
Full Species: Human/Elf hybrid
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): "Black as coal"
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): "silvery-grey"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Well, once the PPC are through with her...
Special Possessions: Legolas, it looks like.
Annoying Origin: Elrond and Celebrían
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Elrond and Celebrían's daughter; Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen's sister; Vardamir's cousin.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to precognition, she has some power that makes people afraid to leave her alone
Other Annoying Traits: hbjhjyu7gyutyt65trcgfbv cv bvcgf3

( Sue sees Legolas )

( Part of a movieverse recap )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "The First Noël" -- Anonymous
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Why Illegal Sleepovers are a Bad Idea

[info]fox_murphy
12/12/09 01:18 am
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grammar
Part the First
Part the Second
Part the Third
Part the Fourth


Story Or Series Title: Ruby Disappointment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: BlackandTainted
Full Name (plus titles if any): Rubithiana Black
Full Species(es): The Extra-Sibling Sue (or in this case I suppose replacement sibling would actually be the correct term)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hasn't been mentioned yet, but I'd imagine something like Sirius'
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Plain" Gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned so far
Special Possessions (if any): None so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time
Annoying Origin: The Black Family. Allegedly.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have replaced Regulus as Sirius' younger sibling. I don't think I'd have taken that trade.
Annoying Special Abilities: Cries virtually every ten minutes.
Other Annoying Traits: Pretty much just the crying so far. There's a lot of that. A LOT.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:


( Chapter the Fifth )
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December 11th, 2009

If you want a guy to love you, you have to cry in his arms.

[info]dancing_chimera
12/11/09 08:15 pm
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Shoes
Story Or Series Title: The Dark Lords Raven or so he thought
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: mercedescello

Full Name (plus titles if any): I think I've figured it out. She was raised as “Raven Mercedes Beetle,” and she goes by “Mercedes” or “Mer,” but her birth name is “Jade Potter.” The original middle name is still unknown. (It's either that, or the Suethor just decided to randomly change her name halfway through the fic. The couple that raised her just randomly starts calling her Jade when they tell her she isn't really their daughter, and she instantly switches over to thinking of herself as Jade and pretty much everyone but Draco starts calling her Jade. But she goes back to thinking of herself as “Mercedes” in the sixth chapter, so maybe the Suethor is deeply confused.)
Full Species(es): Surprise!Twin Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): I've word-searched all six chapters, and she describes the hair of every canon character, but not of her own OC. She keeps calling Pansy “the dark-haired girl” in the second chapter, though, and in order for that to make sense, she must be blond. Which is very wtf when you remember that her twin has black hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): No mention. Green would make sense, so I'm going to guess brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The Dark Mark
Special Possessions (if any): Draco and Fred's balls. Voldy's esteem.

Annoying Origin: She was magically transported into Lily's womb from Sueland.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's a Death Eater, then later an Order of the Phoenix member, she's Draco's best friend, she's good friends with Hermione and Ginny, she's Harry's twin sister, and Fred and Draco are in love with her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Makes everyone around her forget all about their canon concerns and worry only about her. She also has some strange ability to alter the canon progression of friendships.
Other Annoying Traits: She blames Draco for everything. Everything. She belittles him constantly, hits him whenever she feels like it, and then begins belittling him again if he complains about it. And I don't think we're supposed to see the relationship as abusive. She's also a raging hypocrite.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( Well, it's shorter than the last one. )
  • Current Location: Far away from this mess
  • Current Mood: sleepy
  • Current Music: The entire Phantom of the Opera soundtrack
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December 10th, 2009

Elrond's other daughter, #2985984

[info]tawaki
12/10/09 10:32 pm
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Story or Series Title: The Hope Within
Fandom: Lord of the Messed-Up Family Trees
Culprit Author's Name: bostongrl1661
Full Name: Raina Peredhil
Full Species: Human/Elf hybrid
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): "Black as coal"
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): "silvery-grey"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Well, once the PPC are through with her...
Special Possessions: Legolas, it looks like.
Annoying Origin: Elrond and Celebrían
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Elrond and Celebrían's daughter; Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen's sister; Vardamir's cousin.
Annoying Special Abilities: To mess up the canon
Other Annoying Traits: hbjhjyu7gyutyt65trcgfbv cv bvcgf3

( The Summary )

( Arrival in Karningul )

( Chat with her friend )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "Little Drummer Boy" -- Katherine K. Davis
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How many Sues does it take to drive all canon characters mad?

[info]fox_murphy
12/10/09 11:53 am
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grammar
Part the First
Story Or Series Title: Ruby Disappointment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: BlackandTainted
Full Name (plus titles if any): Rubithiana Black
Full Species(es): The Extra-Sibling Sue (or in this case I suppose replacement sibling would actually be the correct term)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hasn't been mentioned yet, but I'd imagine something like Sirius'
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Plain" Gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned so far
Special Possessions (if any): None so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time
Annoying Origin: The Black Family. Allegedly.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have replaced Regulus as Sirius' younger sibling. I don't think I'd have taken that trade.
Annoying Special Abilities: Cries virtually every ten minutes.
Other Annoying Traits: Pretty much just the crying so far. There's a lot of that. A LOT.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:


( Chapter the Fourth )
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December 7th, 2009

Sortings = Not An Optional Activity

[info]fox_murphy
12/7/09 02:30 pm
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grammar
Part the First
Part the Second


Story Or Series Title: Ruby Disappointment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: BlackandTainted

Full Name (plus titles if any): Rubithiana Black
Full Species(es): The Extra-Sibling Sue (or in this case I suppose replacement sibling would actually be the correct term)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hasn't been mentioned yet, but I'd imagine something like Sirius'
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Plain" Gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned so far
Special Possessions (if any): None so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time

Annoying Origin: The Black Family. Allegedly.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have replaced Regulus as Sirius' younger sibling. I don't think I'd have taken that trade.
Annoying Special Abilities: Cries virtually every ten minutes.
Other Annoying Traits: Pretty much just the crying so far. There's a lot of that. A LOT.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:





( Chapter the Third )
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December 6th, 2009

Poor Draco. His Twu Wuv Keeps Bashing His Girlfriend

[info]dancing_chimera
12/6/09 05:55 pm
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Shoes
Story Or Series Title: The Dark Lords Raven or so he thought
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: mercedescello

Full Name (plus titles if any): Well, Draco calls her “Raven Mercedes” but the summary lists her as “Mercedes Raven.” Her birth surname is Potter, and as much as I'd like to believe that Voldemort is smart enough to at least change a child's name if he were going to kidnap her, he apparently didn't bother. This does not account for why Lily and James thought that “Raven Mercedes” and “Harry James” would go nicely as twin names.
Full Species(es): I'm pretty sure it's human.
Hair Color (include adjectives): I've word-searched all six chapters, and she describes the hair of every canon character, but not of her own OC. She keeps calling Pansy “the dark-haired girl” in the second chapter, though, and in order for that to make sense, she must be blond. Which is very wtf when you remember that her twin has black hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): No mention. Green would make sense, so I'm going to guess brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The Dark Mark
Special Possessions (if any): Draco and Fred's balls. Voldy's esteem.

Annoying Origin: The Pit
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's a Death Eater, she's Draco's best friend, she's good friends with Hermione and Ginny, she's Harry's twin sister, and Fred (and Draco) are in love with her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Makes everyone around her forget all about their canon conserns and worry only about her.
Other Annoying Traits: She blames Draco for everything. Everything. She belittles him constantly, hits him whenever she feels like it, and then begins belittling him again if he complains about it. And I don't think we're supposed to see the relationship as abusive.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( It isn't all that small. Sorry. )
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December 5th, 2009

One chapter left after thisss

[info]tawaki
12/5/09 09:17 pm
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11

Story or Series Title: Conversations of a Dark Lord
Fandom: The Boy Who Must Wish That Riddle Were Such A Moron
CulpritAuthor's Name: Taeya.stu
Full Name: Tom Marvolo Riddle
Full Species: Regulafractus fatuus
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): N/A
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): Red
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The cumulative disfigurements of six Horcruxes
Special Possessions: Contacts
Annoying Origin: Tom and Merope Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Has one in Mad-Eye's trunk
Annoying Special Abilities: To reduce his victims' fear until too late
Other Annoying Traits: gghhjyu77hjyunhjum, nmjbn

( It isss Valentine'sss day, not 'Voldemort'sss Day' )

( Brain goesss all sssplodey-like )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "A Star to Follow" -- Trans-Siberian Orchestra
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The Longest Train Ride EVER.

[info]fox_murphy
12/5/09 04:43 pm
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grammar
Part the First

Story Or Series Title: Ruby Disappointment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: BlackandTainted

Full Name (plus titles if any): Rubithiana Black
Full Species(es): The Extra-Sibling Sue (or in this case I suppose replacement sibling would actually be the correct term)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hasn't been mentioned yet, but I'd imagine something like Sirius'
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Plain" Gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned so far
Special Possessions (if any): None so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time

Annoying Origin: The Black Family. Allegedly.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have replaced Regulus as Sirius' younger sibling. I don't think I'd have taken that trade.
Annoying Special Abilities: Cries virtually every ten minutes.
Other Annoying Traits: Pretty much just the crying so far. There's a lot of that. A LOT.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:


( Chapter the Second )
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December 4th, 2009

And Now For Something Completely Un-Canon!

[info]fox_murphy
12/4/09 02:56 pm
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grammar
Story Or Series Title: Ruby Disappointment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: BlackandTainted

Full Name (plus titles if any): Rubithiana Black
Full Species(es): The Extra-Sibling Sue (or in this case I suppose replacement sibling would actually be the correct term)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hasn't been mentioned yet, but I'd imagine something like Sirius'
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Plain" Gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned so far
Special Possessions (if any): None so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time

Annoying Origin: The Black Family. Allegedly.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have replaced Regulus as Sirius' younger sibling. I don't think I'd have taken that trade.
Annoying Special Abilities: Cries virtually every ten minutes.
Other Annoying Traits: Pretty much just the crying so far. There's a lot of that. A LOT.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:


( Chapter the First )
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And now, back to our regularly scheduled sporking

[info]silvereriena
12/4/09 12:29 am
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Done? Heck no, I'm not done with this! It's time for more Fated to Love
because I know you all want some!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

( We're off to Rivendell! Ugh... )
  • Current Location: My Room
  • Current Mood: sleepy
  • Current Music: Dancy With Somebody - Mando Diao
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The rest of the birds return

[info]tawaki
12/4/09 12:15 am
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10

Story or Series Title: Conversations of a Dark Lord
Fandom: The Boy Who Must Wish That Riddle Were Such A Moron
CulpritAuthor's Name: Taeya.stu
Full Name: Tom Marvolo Riddle
Full Species: Regulafractus fatuus
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): N/A
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): Red
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The cumulative disfigurements of six Horcruxes
Special Possessions: Contacts
Annoying Origin: Tom and Merope Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Has one in Mad-Eye's trunk
Annoying Special Abilities: To reduce his victims' fear until too late
Other Annoying Traits: gghhjyu77hjyunhjum, nmjbn

( Riddle in a bookstore )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "When I, Good Friends, Was Called to the Bar" -- Gilbert and Sullivan
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December 3rd, 2009

Tom Riddle likes Yu-Gi-Oh. Tom. Riddle. Likes. YU-GI-OH!

[info]tawaki
12/3/09 12:15 am
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9

Story or Series Title: Conversations of a Dark Lord
Fandom: The Boy Who Must Wish That Riddle Were Such A Moron
CulpritAuthor's Name: Taeya.stu
Full Name: Tom Marvolo Riddle
Full Species: Regulafractus fatuus
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): N/A
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): Red
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The cumulative disfigurements of six Horcruxes
Special Possessions: Contacts
Annoying Origin: Tom and Merope Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Has one in Mad-Eye's trunk
Annoying Special Abilities: To reduce his victims' fear until too late
Other Annoying Traits: gghhjyu77hjyunhjum, nmjbn

( Ow, brain )
  • Current Mood: weirded out
  • Current Music: "Four Minutes, Thirty-Three Seconds" -- John Cage
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December 2nd, 2009

BITCH AHOY! Another Serenity Invades Britain

[info]silvereriena
12/2/09 05:34 pm
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Kurt
Taking a break from the 30-year old Haldir-loving Sue, I searched for an HP sue with the classic name Serenity to spork and wow, is this one a doozy. She is the most obnoxious piece of sparklecrap I have come across in a while.

Story Or Series Title: A Match Made In Hogwarts
Fandom: Harry Potter and the American Invasion
Culprit Author's Name: SerenityIsMySunshine

Full Name (plus titles if any): Serenity Livingstone
Full Species(es): A cross between Sparklipoo and Bitchiwitch
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long silvery-blonde
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Gorgeous green eyes, just the right shade of green so that they looked mysterious and also slightly sad but not in a weird way". LOL
Unusual Markings/Colorations: She turns red and her eyes sparkle when she gets mad
Special Possessions (if any): A Thestral and clothing that she obviously thinks make her look punk, but actually color clash.

Annoying Origin: She's 3/4 Veela but doesn't turn into a "fierce bird-thing" like all the other Veelas.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Yeah, she's gonna steal Snape's soul eventually.
Annoying Special Abilities: Has a special connection with animals, can speak Fanpanese and has Superbitch!powers.
Other Annoying Traits: Insults some of my favorite characters from the book; thinks that all men want her.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( Bring thy torches and pitchforks! This one must be thrown into the lake! )
  • Current Location: My Room
  • Current Mood: sore
  • Current Music: Jon McLaughlin - So Close (from Enchanted)
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December 1st, 2009

Abandon Hope all ye enter here.

[info]frodo_harry
12/1/09 10:51 pm
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Abandon Hope all ye enter here.

CulpritAuthor's Name: Lillianagreen


Full Name: Aurelia Ellie Carmen
Full Species: daughter of Sauron dragon rider
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): blond hair decorated with purple bow
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): eyes shin a million songs
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions: a magical pentagram which activates her apecual powers
Annoying Origin: the deepest pits of hell

Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Sauron’s daughter, realted to Eragon
Annoying Special Abilities: dragonrider, chosen one, controls the powers of Air, Earth, Fire Water and weather, shape-shifts, summons a dragon, has healing skills

Other Annoying Traits: the fact that she exists

( Lotr Eragon Sue --> Dragon Rider and Sauron's daughter )



This was the first chapter. I will continue sporking tomorrow if I have the time.

*One of the quotes was borrowed from the Nostalgia Critic. Those who can tell me which one it is get a free basket with Christmas goodies


  • Current Location: Germany, Magdeburg
  • Current Mood: cold
  • Current Music: Its time to say goodby Muppts
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November 29th, 2009

More unfinished business

[info]tawaki
11/29/09 09:54 pm
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8

Story or Series Title: Conversations of a Dark Lord
Fandom: The Boy Who Must Wish That Riddle Were Such A Moron
CulpritAuthor's Name: Taeya.stu
Full Name: Tom Marvolo Riddle
Full Species: Regulafractus fatuus
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): N/A
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): Red
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The cumulative disfigurements of six Horcruxes
Special Possessions: Contacts
Annoying Origin: Tom and Merope Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Has one in Mad-Eye's trunk
Annoying Special Abilities: To reduce his victims' fear until too late
Other Annoying Traits: gghhjyu77hjyunhjum, nmjbn

( Back on Earth )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "Fum Fum Fum" -- Traditional
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November 26th, 2009

The Master's daughter, Harry's creepy stalker

[info]tawaki
11/26/09 12:56 pm
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Story or Series Title: Poker Face
Fandom: Doctor Harry
Culprit Author's Name: bambieyes1234
Full Name: Dawn Saxon
Full Species: Part Human, part Gallifreyan
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Dark
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Dark blue, and also Lucy's lighter blue
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Depends how PPC Agents bump her off.
Special Possessions: Harry James Potter
Annoying Origin: Kalid Keller Saxon (three of his aliases) and Lucy Saxon
Annoying Special Connections to Canon Characters: Is the Master and Lucy's daughter, stalks Harry
Annoying Special Abilities: To warp canon around her
Other Annoying Traits: fcgft6gyubn n,m,m, nmjjio909op

( The Summary )

( The Master's daughter )

( Sue and Harry )
  • Current Mood: grateful
  • Current Music: "Showroom Dummies" -- Kraftwerk
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November 24th, 2009

And the crossover spork concludes

[info]tawaki
11/24/09 12:03 am
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Chapters 1 & 2
Chapters 3 & 4
Chapters 5 & 6
Chapters 7 & 8
Chapters 9 & 10
Chapters 11 & 12
Chapters 13 & 14

Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi (aka Hyarion), Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( Return to Arda )

( And last )
  • Current Mood: hungry
  • Current Music: "Tremolo Fancy" -- John Dowland
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November 23rd, 2009

The definition of canon rape!

[info]shikishinobi
11/23/09 06:24 pm
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Ninja Kitty
Story/Series title: Carly Perry and the Boy Who Lived
Fandom: Harry Potter and the plot raping, thieving stealing bitches who shouldn’t have lived.
Culprit Author’s Name: Brunette_beauty_1 Read it when you have a decade or two free.
Full name’s: Carly Perry, Mom, Dad (Stanley), a number of canon characters, but mainly Hermione, Harry and Ron (who she doesn’t like).
Species: Canonrape, to the worst degree that most chapters and ideas are stolen from the book/s.
Hair and Eye Color: Carly: Golden Blond hair with bangs.
Unusual markings/colorations: Nothing specific.
Special Possessions: HPPS to quote word for word, a barn owl named Bush and a wand that is specifically like Harry’s.
Annoying Origins: That special place in the Pit reserved for sues who can’t have an original thought, so they plagiarize canon just to make it look like they are capable of using canon.
Supposed Connection to Canon: A death grip on Hermione as a friend, trying to befriend Draco who is being canon and is not interested, conversations with other characters.
Annoying Special Abilities: Is agreeable, gullible and able to meld herself into the plot.
Other Annoying Traits: Just read it already.
Past Sporking: Carly Perry #1
Sporkers Notes: I’m still waiting on Aftermath, but trust me, this one is going to keep me busy. When I first posted this, it was only 7 or so chapters long. Now that has pretty much doubled to 15, and all the chapters (oddly enough) are the same as those in the book, dodging a few that may/not have been so important to the plot. I’ve got the feeling as time goes by, the Choosen One, no longer important enough to live up to his title, will be replaced by this sue who dares to use my name (Perry), spelling it differently (Perry/Perri) as time goes by. What a train wreck. So I guess I’ll just have to kick her arse back to hell. Here we go!
( perish_in_fire_and_water! )
  • Current Mood: frustrated
  • Current Music: Who the Hell Are You - Madison Avenue
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One spork left after this

[info]tawaki
11/23/09 12:09 am
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Chapters 1 & 2
Chapters 3 & 4
Chapters 5 & 6
Chapters 7 & 8
Chapters 9 & 10
Chapters 11 & 12

Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi (aka Hyarion), Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( So Obi-Wan has missed the whole kriffing war! )

( Vader seeks a Hand for the Emperor )
  • Current Mood: This is definitely not...
  • Current Music: "The Greatest Story Never Told" -- Murray Gold
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November 21st, 2009

As I have not been here in ages...

[info]frankenspam
11/21/09 06:58 pm
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scotty feed me
...has anyone sporked this yet? Because if not, I wants it, my precious.
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November 18th, 2009

Just kill me now...

[info]aztec_the_great
11/18/09 11:02 am
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not welcome

Story Or Series Title: Defy Not the Heart
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Sparkly Vampires from Pretty Land
Culprit Author's Name: Aewnaur
Synopsis:

Slash: EC/HP
Warnings: abuse violence
Summary: Harry comes to Forks as a patient for Dr. Cullen. He was only supposed to stay until he healed enough to go back to the war. Will he discover a reason to stay?

Full Name (plus titles if any): Harry Potter/Jonquil Kaolin/Jon and Edward Cullen
Hair Color (include adjectives): Harry has “His black hair was a wild dirty mane but he could see where the dark red would highlight it” Edward has “He had copper and bronze hair like a frozen flame, it stuck up everywhere like he had driven to school in a convertible with the top down.”

Eye Color (include adjectives): Harry has “Bright green eyes danced with whatever he was thinking” Edward has “His eyes were warm amber”

Unusual Markings/Colorations: Harry is “Tiny and very feminine yet with a strong masculine jaw and physique.” Harry also has many scars over his back and on his wrists.
Special Possessions (if any): Apparently, each other’s balls in future. Harry has the cullen crest wristbands. His shoes.


Annoying Origin: The warped brain of a Twihard HP fan
Annoying Special Abilities: existing

( Leave your sanity at the door )
  • Current Location: Ferelden
  • Current Mood: cranky
  • Current Music: Dragon Age OST
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November 16th, 2009

Aragorn the Seahorse

[info]tawaki
11/16/09 11:17 pm
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Chapters 1 & 2
Chapters 3 & 4
Chapters 5 & 6
Chapters 7 & 8
Chapters 9 & 10

Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi (aka Hyarion), Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( Time Wrench )
  • Current Mood: blank
  • Current Music: "Bobwhite, Doves, and Cardinals" -- Eru Ilúvatar
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In which Harry gets a sister and Draco gets a girlfriend...

[info]dancing_chimera
11/16/09 07:37 pm
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BiggerBleeprin
Story Or Series Title: From Salem to Hogwarts.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: ravenclawfever (Why? Why is it always Ravenclaw?)

Full Name (plus titles if any): Silver Crouch (originally Silver Potter. James, Lily, Harry, and Silver. Nope, nothing looks at all out of place there...)
Full Species(es): Witch Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): “...long ebony black wavy hair growing all the way down to mid-back with full bangs straight across her forehead...”
Eye Color (include adjectives): “...bright emerald eyes that became a darker evergreen color indoors...”
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None so far.
Special Possessions (if any): Draco's balls, eventually.

Annoying Origin: The Pit
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Harry's biological sister. Barty Jr.'s adoptive daughter. Draco's Romance!Sue, I'm assuming.
Annoying Special Abilities: None so far, but wait for it...
Other Annoying Traits: Has geography curled up in the fetal position, weeping.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( As you wish... )
  • Current Location: In a Winter Wonderland
  • Current Mood: chipper
  • Current Music: "Defying Gravity" by Chris Colfer
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November 15th, 2009

In Laurelindórenan

[info]tawaki
11/15/09 06:24 pm
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Chapters 1 & 2
Chapters 3 & 4
Chapters 5 & 6
Chapters 7 & 8

Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi (aka Hyarion), Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( Obi-Wan looks in the Mirror of Galadriel )

( Oh noes. He must go )
  • Current Mood: blah and zeeky boogy doog
  • Current Music: "Oh a Private Buffoon is a Light-Hearted Loon" -- Gilbert and Sullivan
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November 14th, 2009

Injured Sue makes Miraculous Recovery

[info]silvereriena
11/14/09 04:07 pm
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More of the dreadful self-insert pile of blah that is Fated to Love, which includes a 30-something Sue who has decorated her bedroom like a lovestruck teenager with posters upon posters of Haldir from the movies. We last left off with her fighting at Helm's Deep and getting the schnitzel kicked out of her, but alas, she won't DIE.

For sporking recaps: Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

( Also, the chapters seem to be getting longer. *sob* )
  • Current Location: Vancouver
  • Current Mood: apathetic
  • Current Music: A-Punk - Vampire Weekend
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Author-Wraith to Arwen: Go crink yourself

[info]tawaki
11/14/09 12:30 pm
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Chapters 1 & 2
Chapters 3 & 4
Chapters 5 & 6

Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi (aka Hyarion), Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( In which Coruscant is visible from the Outer Rim )

( On the road again )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: Unidentified ear worm
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November 12th, 2009

And the crossover spork continues

[info]tawaki
11/12/09 08:09 pm
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Chapters 1 & 2
Chapters 3 & 4

Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi (aka Hyarion), Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( Chapter 5 )

( Chapter 6 )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "The Prophecy" -- Howard Shore
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November 13th, 2009

One way or another, it's f**ked!

[info]shikishinobi
11/13/09 11:23 am
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Ninja Warning
Story/Series title: Carly Perry and the Boy Who Lived
Fandom: Harry Potter and the plot raping, thieving stealing bitches who shouldn’t have lived.
Culprit Author’s Name: Brunette_beauty_1
Full name’s: Carly Perry, Mom, Dad (Stanley), a number of canon characters including Harry, Hagrid, Draco, Olivander(s) and Narcissa.
Species: Canonrape, to the worst degree that most chapters and ideas are stolen from the book/s.
Hair and Eye Color: Carly: Golden Blond hair with bangs.
Unusual markings/colorations: Nothing specific.
Special Possessions: HPPS to quote word for word, a barn owl named Bush and a wand that is specifically like Harry’s. The only plausable difference is the length.
Annoying Origins: That special place in the Pit reserved for sues who can’t have an original thought, so they plagiarize canon just to make it look like they are capable of using canon.
Supposed Connection to Canon: If there was such a thing, I’d let you know. The only connection is this suethor’s lips sucking on the teet of used plot ideals because the thought of an original idea was just beyond them.
Annoying Special Abilities: Shoplifting, is an American sue and her father is apparently the fifth Marauder.
Other Annoying Traits: Just read it already.
Sporkers Notes: Aftermath is taking it’s sweet time to come up with some new chapters, so I thought I’d start a shorter project in the meantime. This thing is only 5 chapters long, but before sporking, it is 9 pages long in size 10 font. So one at a time. I will be taking a big pair of secateurs to it, simply to try and shorten my work. Enjoy!
( destroy_it!Destroy_it_all! )
  • Current Mood: excited
  • Current Music: Best Hits of '99
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November 11th, 2009

Bad crossover is bad.

[info]tawaki
11/11/09 05:55 pm
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Continuing this puddle of sithspit.

Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi (aka Hyarion), Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( Getting his bearings )

( Enter Gandalf )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "The Battle in the Snow" -- John Williams
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November 7th, 2009

A new rotation of sporkers, tackling Luke Skywalker's supposed in-laws

[info]tawaki
11/7/09 12:26 pm
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Story or Series Title: Cruel Trick of Fate
Fandom: Lord of the Jedi
CulpritAuthor's Name: TDWidow
Full Names: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Aragorn son of Arathorn
Full Species: Edain
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): Like in canon, I presume
Unusual Markings/Colorations: I presume they both have scars from the battles they've been in.
Special Possessions: Aragorn has a uterus
Annoying Origin: Unknown, Arathorn II and Gilraen
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be two of them, are Mara Skywalker's parents.
Annoying Special Abilities: In addition to the mpreg, there's the matter of Obi-Wan taking Arwen's place in Aragorn's heart
Other Annoying Traits: 0o9iuihjnbhgh6tftrfcc dxfdre4

( The summary )

( Crash Landing )

( In Karningul )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "Four Minutes, Thirty-Three Seconds" -- John Cage
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November 6th, 2009

And the spork ends.

[info]tawaki
11/6/09 02:20 pm
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( Previous chapters )

Story or Series Title: The Girl in the Tower
Fandom: The Boy Who Set a Five-Step Mamba on the Suethors
CulpritAuthor's Name: SpookyMulder
Full Name: Sara Lemke
Full Species: Species 5618
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): Like a mood ring
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): "…the bluest violet…"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: A black widow mark from when she murdered Lucius Malfoy
Special Possessions: Harry's balls, the Marauders' Map
Annoying Origin: A family that skipped the country to hide from Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Dumbledore's niece, Harry's girlfriend
Annoying Special Abilites: Elemental powers
Other Annoying Traits: 4we57hj7 m8u9i0]-p]\=[

( Rescuing Draco Malfoy )

( At the dance )
  • Current Mood: evil computer
  • Current Music: "The Shoemaker's Wife" -- John Dowland
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November 5th, 2009

Another Suefic that drops a metaphorical bridge on Riddle

[info]tawaki
11/5/09 12:10 am
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( Previous chapters )

Story or Series Title: The Girl in the Tower
Fandom: The Boy Who Set a Five-Step Mamba on the Suethors
CulpritAuthor's Name: SpookyMulder
Full Name: Sara Lemke
Full Species: Species 5618
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): Like a mood ring
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): "…the bluest violet…"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: A black widow mark from when she murdered Lucius Malfoy
Special Possessions: Harry's balls, the Marauders' Map
Annoying Origin: A family that skipped the country to hide from Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Dumbledore's niece, Harry's girlfriend
Annoying Special Abilites: Elemental powers
Other Annoying Traits: 4we57hj7 m8u9i0]-p]\=[

( She still can't decide who she loves )

( Sic Transit Riddle )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "The Carrionites Swarm" -- Murray Gold
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November 3rd, 2009

Half-Goat Sara, part 33

[info]tawaki
11/3/09 10:10 pm
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( Previous chapters )

Story or Series Title: The Girl in the Tower
Fandom: The Boy Who Set a Five-Step Mamba on the Suethors
CulpritAuthor's Name: SpookyMulder
Full Name: Sara Lemke
Full Species: Species 5618
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): Like a mood ring
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): "…the bluest violet…"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: A black widow mark from when she murdered Lucius Malfoy
Special Possessions: Harry's balls, the Marauders' Map
Annoying Origin: A family that skipped the country to hide from Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Dumbledore's niece, Harry's girlfriend
Annoying Special Abilites: Elemental powers
Other Annoying Traits: 4we57hj7 m8u9i0]-p]\=[

( Read more... )

( Or is it? )
  • Current Mood: annoyed
  • Current Music: "Goodbye, Judy" -- Barney Collier
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A Blast From the Past!

[info]zoe_i_am
11/3/09 06:31 am
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mate

Anyone remember this little gem?  It's that insane story where Legolas and Co bamfed to Hogwarts, Harry was an alcoholic who puked up Salazar, Godric hatched out of an egg, Snape fed Viagra to Legolas and Harry, Ginny went nuts, Hermione turned into the Wicked Witch of the West, and the author used a paragraph where one word would do.

It's been updated!

Story Or Series Title: Love of a Different Kind
Fandom: The Boy-Who-Lived-To-Shower-With-Hobbits
Culprit Author's Name: Medusa; The Ancient Snake

Full Name (plus titles if any): Harry Potter
Full Species(es): I haven't got a cluicus Stuicus
Hair Color (include adjectives): The shining beams from the full moon above made the boy’s raven hair shimmer like black silk,
Eye Color (include adjectives): his eyes glowing like emeralds
Unusual Markings/Colorations: That scar thingy
Special Possessions (if any): A new wardrobe that matches Legoals', a wand, a mentor named Snape, a secret letter from Sal, tons of angst, bulimia that turned out to be a snake in his gut, a cute new pet, and a burning desire for revenge on Snape.

Annoying Origin: I can't even begin to imagine where this one came from
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Let's see, spends his summer holidays at Hogwarts with the Fellowship, has a Papa Alby, vomits Salazar Slytherin, learns Snape's deepest secrets, sits on Hagrid's shoulder, introduces the Hobbits to the Giant Squid, "entertains" Legolas, sees Godric Gryffindor naked, yells at everyone else,
Annoying Special Abilities: Bounces back and forth between smart ass retorts and infantile babble
Other Annoying Traits: I found it

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: 

( Quidditch, Mud, and Hobbit Packages )
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November 1st, 2009

Legolas Gets Sorted!

[info]zoe_i_am
11/1/09 11:43 pm
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brokeback

Part The First

Story Or Series Title: The_Elven_Wizard
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Elf from Mirkwood
Culprit Author's Name: Seom

Full Name (plus titles if any): Prince Legolas "Take This Filthy Hat Off Me" Greenleaf
Full Species(es): Hottius Elivs Magicus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long and Blond
Eye Color (include adjectives): Stunning bright Blue
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Give it time
Special Possessions (if any): 16 Inch wand, stop that, it's from Mr. Olivander!

Annoying Origin: When Books Collide By Falling Off The Shelf
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Used to be one
Annoying Special Abilities: Attracts girls like nobody's business
Other Annoying Traits: Won't change his clothes, teaches everyone Grelvish 

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( In Which Legolas Gets A House )
  • Current Location: moving cars
  • Current Mood: tipsy
  • Current Music: Cowboy Take Me Away - Dixie Chicks
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Perhaps getting some helpers in would be a good idea...

[info]falconwhitaker
11/1/09 01:10 am
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Indiana Jones - Kinky
Story Or Series Title: Riddles of the Dead
Fandom: Harry Potter/Indiana Jones. No, I am not kidding.
Culprit Author's Name: Maeglin Yedi

Full Name (plus titles if any): Tom Riddle; Indiana Jones.
Full Species(es): Canon characters raped out of recognition.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Presumably canon for both
Eye Color (include adjectives): Riddle’s eyes are spontaneously hazel, for some reason; Indy’s are canon.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Nothing that isn’t canon.
Special Possessions (if any): A map which leads them to the Eye of Ra, a mythical ass-pull device that apparently grants immortality.

Annoying Origin: A request of the author’s apparently.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Claim to be two, but I have my doubts.
Annoying Special Abilities: Bum sexing it up in the desert without getting sand in uncomfortable places (both). Being able to call Lord fucking Voldemort "kid" without having his urethra pulled out his nose (Indy). A raving case of the stupids (Riddle).
Other Annoying Traits: She made Indiana Jones a creepy semi-pervert and Tom Riddle a giggling schoolgirl. Kill me now.

Part One; Two.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( This section broke my brain. )
  • Current Mood: BSOD
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October 31st, 2009

LITTLE MISS MARY, Part Twenty-Seven

[info]guardians_song
10/31/09 12:59 am
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CLAMP fandom
==( COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO! )

 

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LITTLE MISS MARY, Part Twenty-Six

[info]guardians_song
10/31/09 12:58 am
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Richard, Fight for Deleterius

( Portions of spork may be choppy due to only working on this intermittently. My apologies. :D;; )
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LITTLE MISS MARY, Part Twenty-Five

[info]guardians_song
10/31/09 12:57 am
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Davis

LITTLE MISS MARY

Story or Series Title: Little Miss Mary 


Fandom: …Maybe if Lu Aza did Harry Potter…


Culprit Author's Name: Athea
Full Name: Harry “Little Miss Mary” Potter; Severus “Uncle John (Aberforce)” Snape
Full Species: Horrifying pedophilic fantasy, and that’s insulting pedophiles; pedophile


Hair Color (Include Adjectives): “dark” “silken strands”, in “ringlets down to his shoulders”; “dark” hair all over the place. And I mean ALL over the place.


Eye Color (Include Adjectives): “lustrous green eyes”; Canon… I think. Whee, canon.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The scar, lipstick later on… ; …I don’t know. And I really didn’t care to look.


Special Possessions: …Where do I start? Lots of girly, frilly clothes, a butt-plug (NO, I AM NOT JOKING), a bidet, a uterus later on, and excuse me, my brain just broke; a druid-manor-thingy (although even Rose Potter refuses to associate herself with this story), a secondary job as a painter, a Wizard’s Guide to Gay Sex (AM NOT JOKING), and there went my mind. GAAAAAAAH!
Annoying Origin: Even the author doesn’t know. My guess is… um… a really, really SICK fantasy that should have remained in the deepest corners of this author’s mind. UNTIL DEATH.


Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: …Canon-rape to equal Celebrian. That is all.


Annoying Special Abilities: Telepathy, druid magic, PWNing Voldemort through MAJICK SEXXORS (Anita Blake also wishes to disassociate herself from this fic), manipulating “ley lines”… Harry later gets the ability to be knocked up… I tell you, perhaps you should turn back now.


Other Annoying Traits: …JUST READ IT. DX


Yes, I live! And I'm finally crossposting some parts I did on my LJ, so here we go...



==
( Ran out of juice, ended up just writing *BRAINBREAK* and *HEADKEYBOARD* a lot. )

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All the birds are in costumes today. I hope it's obvious who is who.

[info]tawaki
10/31/09 12:50 am
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( Previous chapters )

Story or Series Title: The Girl in the Tower
Fandom: The Boy Who Set a Five-Step Mamba on the Suethors
CulpritAuthor's Name: SpookyMulder
Full Name: Sara Lemke
Full Species: Species 5618
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): Like a mood ring
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): "…the bluest violet…"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: A black widow mark from when she murdered Lucius Malfoy
Special Possessions: Harry's balls, the Marauders' Map
Annoying Origin: A family that skipped the country to hide from Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Dumbledore's niece, Harry's girlfriend
Annoying Special Abilites: Elemental powers
Other Annoying Traits: 4we57hj7 m8u9i0]-p]\=[

( Draco's angst )

( Draco's farewell )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "Four Minutes, Thirty-Three Seconds" -- John Cage
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Touching Spirit Unicorn - An HP/LOTR Crossover.

[info]zoe_i_am
10/31/09 12:32 am
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dublin

Story Or Series Title: The_Elven_Wizard
Fandom: Harry Potter and the Elf from Mirkwood
Culprit Author's Name: Seom

Full Name (plus titles if any): Prince Legolas "Why Can't I Ever Just Stay Home" Greenleaf
Full Species(es): Hottius Elivs Magicus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long and Blond
Eye Color (include adjectives): Assumed to be blue
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Give it time
Special Possessions (if any): 16 Inch wand, stop that, it's from Mr. Olivander!

Annoying Origin: When Books Collide By Falling Off The Shelf
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Used to be one
Annoying Special Abilities: Attracts girls like nobody's business
Other Annoying Traits: Goes to potions class, is more confused than any other elf in history. 

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( In Which Legolas BAMFS To Hogwarts )
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October 29th, 2009

In the Dark

[info]tawaki
10/29/09 11:18 am
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( Previous chapters )

Story or Series Title: The Girl in the Tower
Fandom: The Boy Who Set a Five-Step Mamba on the Suethors
CulpritAuthor's Name: SpookyMulder
Full Name: Sara Lemke
Full Species: Species 5618
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): Like a mood ring
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): "…the bluest violet…"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: A black widow mark from when she murdered Lucius Malfoy
Special Possessions: Harry's balls, the Marauders' Map
Annoying Origin: A family that skipped the country to hide from Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Dumbledore's niece, Harry's girlfriend
Annoying Special Abilites: Elemental powers
Other Annoying Traits: 4we57hj7 m8u9i0]-p]\=[

( 'Ridi, Ginevra/Sul tuo amore infranto )

( Harry sends Draco to Riddle )
  • Current Mood: blah
  • Current Music: "Vesti la Giubba" -- Leoncavallo
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