Pass the Sporks & Bleeprin.

Story Or Series Title: The Company
Fandom: Lord of the Harry Potter
Special Possessions (if any): Aragorn: his ancestor as a weapon
Annoying Origin: The deepest, darkest, innermost circle of Hades
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Pretending to be them
Annoying Special Abilities: Harry: can fight Nazgûl with the Patronus charm
Other Annoying Traits: Everything about them
Culprit Author's Name: combine2007
Full Name (plus titles if any): Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Frodo Baggins, Aragorn son of Arathorn, Arwen Undomiel
Full Species(es): Human, human, human, hobbit, hobbit, hobbit, hobbit, human
Hair Colour (include adjectives): As in canon, I presume
Eye Colour (include adjectives): See above
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Harry: his scar
Sporking today are, as usual, Xanth Filatine, Kestrel Hath and Medea Lindonshield

I own nothing. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger belong to J.K Rowling, the Hobbits and Aragorn belong to the Tolkien Estate and Xanth, Kestrel and Medea belong respectively to Paul Stewart, William Nickleson and Stuart Hill. 

Full Name (plus titles if any): Patricia Bloom
Full Species(es): Human/ witch
Hair Color (include adjectives): not given
Eye Color (include adjectives): not given    
Unusual Markings/Colorations: not given
Special Possessions (if any): a wand

Annoying Origin: A suethor’s twisted mind
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: is supposedly one of Lily’s best friends EVAR
Annoying Special Abilities: pandering to the sue, being the sue's lackey, etc, etc.
Other Annoying Traits: is madly in love with James
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Story Or Series Title: Lupin's True Love Returns Yep. I’ve moved to the sequel where the crossovers are.
Fandom: Originally Harry Potter, then becomes a Harry Potter/LotR/Xmen (movies, I assume)/ Power Rangers: Mystic Force/PotC/Inuyasha/Star Wars/Charmed/Fantastic 4 crossover.
Culprit Author's Name: Carey Ann Lupin

Full Name (plus titles if any): Veronica Croft-Lupin (nee Potter), aka ‘Lioness’
Full Species(es): Witch
Hair Color (include adjectives): ‘soft’ ‘waist-length’ brown
Eye Color (include adjectives): Grey, but they flash violet and other colors, apparently depending on her mood.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The eyes. Definitely the eyes.
Special Possessions (if any): Perhaps a better question would be what DOESN’T she have.

Annoying Origin: Supposedly ‘Evelyn’ Potter’s womb
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She’s James Potter’s sister who was given away to abusive parents when she was born because her parents knew she was ‘special’
Annoying Special Abilities: Wandless magic, uber-speshul teaching skills
Other Annoying Traits: she can teach the basics of history, and expects her students to take it from there.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Story Or Series Title: To love the Third Marshall
Fandom: Lord of the Rings, in a roundabout sort of way
Culprit Author's Name: cuteepiee1

Full Name (plus titles if any): Aiden or Aidan. Another will come soon.
Full Species(es): Apparently she’s the only one of her family who isn’t a Dunedin (I’m going to assume that means everyone else is a city, because it makes the story far more tolerable when all this uncanonocity (can I use that?) is being visited on several concentrations of skyscrapers).
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not given
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not given
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not given
Special Possessions (if any): Not given

Annoying Origin: Supposedly Gilraen’s womb (see end for thoughts on the matter)
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Aragorn’s sister, will eventually screw Eomer, is Eowyn’s bff.
Annoying Special Abilities: …she lives?
Other Annoying Traits: see above.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Story Or Series Title: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4392815/1/The_Road_Goes_Ever_On_Part_One_The_Fellowship

Fandom: The Lord of Does Not Compute
Culprit Author's Name:Annex-Writer
Full Name (plus titles if any): Isildur, Elrond, “Celebrain” (No, I’m not kidding), the rest of the crew.
Full Species(es): Isildur: Husbandia Cheateris, subspecies: Wearia Jewelris Mala, Elrond: Ex-girlfriendia, subspecies: Isildur is the improbable babydaddy, “Celebrain”: Mistakeni Nameia Aganis
Hair Color (include adjectives): as canon. Take a good, long look. That’s the last you’ll see of canon.
Eye Color (include adjectives): as canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Elrond’s pregnant with Isildur’s REAL heir. That hurt me to type it.
Special Possessions (if any): Isildur’s actual heir, Aragorn, who can apparently live for two thousand years, and marry his sister. Ew.  
Annoying Origin: *breaks down, incoherently apologizing to J.R.R. Tolkien*
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: …I don’t want to talk about it.
Annoying Special Abilities: Elrond can have children by other men. Angsts like a mistress wanting to know why her lover won’t take her out in public.
Other Annoying Traits: What, the baby wasn’t annoying enough? How about my ability to come up with fake Latin? That’s pretty annoying…

Well, here is yet another Male-Character-Inexplicably-Can-Have-Babies-And-Whines-About-It fic. Only this time, it's ELROND, and it's even more impossible than before! I’m in bold, and this is not mine. But for fanfiction, the premises in this story wouldn’t even have occurred to me.

Story Or Series Title: “Forever Autumn”
Fandom: Lord of the Temporal Displacement
Culprit Author's Name: Forfiwen Alaturine
Full Name (plus titles if any): Taur-nu-Ithil, Eryn Ithil… yes this is the FOREST. The Suethor sued a FOREST, Maeglin, a host of other people we don’t care about, King Thranduil, and Legolas.
Full Species(es): Forest. Elves.
Hair Color (include adjectives): The Forest is perpetually autumnal. Maeglin is blond. Yes, you read that correctly, blond.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Grey, presumably.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: none specified
Special Possessions (if any): Other than the Sue Forest of Autumn, none
Annoying Origin: The Dark Realm of WTFery
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Not nearly connected enough, although the Suethor has perfected annoying.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can ride around in a cursed forest while chattering inanely. The ability to psychically tell us about what they’re feeling without any character development whatsoever. WHATSOEVER.
Other Annoying Traits: Can state questions. Their names are constantly identified.

I give you a shining example of yet another Suethor completely missing the point. ZOOM! There it went!

Story Or Series Title: The Unknown Prophecy
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Culprit Author's Name: WorldTraveler06
Full Name (plus titles if any): Larien
Full Species(es): Human/ (presumably)
Hair Color (include adjectives): not given
Eye Color (include adjectives): not given    
Unusual Markings/Colorations: not given
Special Possessions (if any): A special prophecy. Apparently she’s the ‘red rider’, and something unpleasant will happen to Faramir if he gets involved with her. A dress of ‘shiny light green and the sleeves where long and white with flowers pinned to them’, rags
Annoying Origin: A suethor’s twisted mind
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Faramir falls madly in love with her. Her father was Denethor’s greatest advisor. Somehow she’s allowed to speak to Elrond and Arwen.
Annoying Special Abilities: She makes Boromir annoy Myth and, trust us, that is a difficult thing to do
Other Annoying Traits: is Survived an orc attack on her home with nothing but a door in between her and them. Is now a servant, in charge of Boromir’s and Faramir’s comfort.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Story Or Series Title: Lupin's True Love (because that title hardly sounds sueish at all)
Fandom: Which one? Because this is epic. Eventually it becomes a Harry Potter/LotR/Xmen (movies, I assume)/ Power Rangers: Mystic Force/PotC/Inuyasha/Star Wars/Charmed/Fantastic 4 crossover. There may be more to come, probably Tomb Raider, if we decide not to ignore Veronica’s original last name.
Culprit Author's Name: Carey Ann Lupin

A note: as these stories have many, many chapters and almost as many sues, I will profile one sue a chapter, because I am essentially a lazy person and can’t even make myself think about organizing all of them.

A warning: This will be a long project. A very long project. I cannot be held responsible for any loss of brain cells due to the stupidity of this fic.

Full Name (plus titles if any): Lily Evans
Full Species(es): Human/ witch
Hair Color (include adjectives): auburn
Eye Color (include adjectives): presumably canon, but you never know.            
Unusual Markings/Colorations: none given
Special Possessions (if any): a wand

Annoying Origin: presumably canon
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: tries to be one
Annoying Special Abilities: Pretending to be a kick-ass canon character
Other Annoying Traits: getting along with James (or a replacement of him) in the second year, being afraid of Narcissa and Bellatrix, being afraid of Peeves, being afraid of practically everything
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: