| In which Abby Ponders her Future |
[27 Aug 2008|06:35pm] |
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I'm confused. Meh. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Since I was little I was sure I wanted to act, but I'm not sure anymore. I haven't acted properly in several months, and I'm not dying like I thought I would be. I love theatre, but you know what they say--if you can imagine yourself doing anything else, don't get into acting.
My type and my voice make it hard for me to be cast in any role. I love straight plays and Les Mis. That's what I want to do. Straight plays and Les Mis--musicals are stressful.
But the more I think about it, the more teaching drama sounds appealing. I would actually love to go back to my high school and take my drama teacher's place. I directed a short play and loved every minute of it. I loved casting, directing and seeing my work come to life. I also love that age group. And my high school. And I love directing and helping students.
I am confident that I would be a better teacher than the woman who taught me; she was awful--abusive, even. She made me feel horrible about myself for five years--I still feel horrible about myself sometimes because of her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, knowing she's still there, hurting impressionable teenage girls.
So. I guess I'm not confused as much as I am stressed out about making a change in everything I've planned for myself. I mean--I'm eighteen. I don't have to have my life planned yet; I just like outlines. They make me feel confident that I know where I'm going.
I suppose I'm just nervous about going to a new place where I may not be the top of the food-chain anymore. I don't know if I'll ever get cast. And as I stress out about that, I start to wonder--Is this really the kind of competition I want to live with for the rest of my life?
So this is what I'm wondering now--Do I stay a theatre major? Do I add a double major? What kind of classes do I take? I suppose if this is what I still want to do after four years, I'll be going to grad school, but I don't know what to do now. I guess I'll have an academic advisor to help me with that.
I guess it's not that huge of a deal; it's just kind of weird to realize that my goals and values have changed.
Wow. I'm feeling a lot better after getting that off my chest. I almost feel like I had to keep it a secret, but now... I just feel happier. That's what I want to do. That's what would fulfill me--I realize it now. The thought of acting always stressed me out, but this just feels so... I don't know how to describe it. When I think about teaching high school drama, I just feel so happy and relieved--like I found my purpose or niche in life. I hope this works out, because this really seems like a perfect job for me.
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[28 Aug 2008|12:02am] |
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Eternal (Live) - 東方神起 |
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► Researching about places to eat out in Hong Kong from PinoyExchange.com's Hong Kong thread since Mom's a picky eater (seafoods and veggies only). I am so tempted to feed her instant noodles, seafood flavor. Budget's a bit tight so I can't bring her to 5-star hotel buffets for much seafood feasting. She can feast when we get back to Manila, a whole lot cheaper! Good thing there's a good sushi selection in some Japanese supermarket/restaurants around Kowloon.
► Spend weekends until tonight coughing, sneezing & colds and nursing a fever. I slept like a log, mostly 7-8 hours max, getting back strength spent from being sick. Damn. Funny cause if I'll base being productive at work on statistics, I have 100+ % productivity rate last Tuesday, the day I was chilling to death, blame the air-conditioner.
► I'm not meeting my hour 3-hour per week mandatory overtime quota. I have time-commitment problems and the team lead's bugging me to plot schedule as early as day1. It's day4 today and I have zero overtime hours! x_X
► **points at my icon** Thanks Tin ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tinseltown16! **hugssss** and YAY FAFE IS DONE! *wipes tears* xDDDDDDDDD
Nothing much to blog about boys. Fandoms too quiet. Like the calm before the storm. I wonder why.
._.
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[27 Aug 2008|05:49pm] |
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J is leaving tomorrow. We're having a quiet get-together with the four of us (him, his boyfriend K, D and myself) and I... I dunno, it's so strange. Yesterday I cried for the first time over him going away - mostly because I was making him something to take with him ( a little book full of silly poems and VERY silly drawings and stupid things like that) and although it was all so very silly it made me cry. He's leaving and he's fucking leaving for a year.
jfkdlsjfk
EDIT: he's gone. Cue more aetrdfgfvbcopjkds
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| I long to love you like flowers do, Just to feel your sweet perfume. I want you. |
[26 Aug 2008|09:49am] |
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"Orchids" by Sarah Fimm |
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Success! Am now kind of moved in! Well, all the important stuff is over there anyway. I will try and post pics next week, when things are more organized. And also, just in case I am in any of the photos, I won't be bloated. Stupid period arriving yesterdat. >:( That's why I only grabbed a coat a handful of DVDs yesterday, instead of starting to clean. Ummm...I'm crampy, KTHNXBYE. XP
( More real life stuff under here )
Okay, Stargate Atlantis on Friday. The Shrine is now one of my top 3 episodes. I've gone on record that Buffy and Ugly Betty were the two shows that could reduce me to hysteric tears, pause-the-TV-and-take-a-breath tears. Well, now SGA is one of them. GIVE DAVID HEWLETT THE EMMY NOOOOOOOW!!!!1!!!1 That man is so fricking talented!
I hate that I am missing the convention!!! *gar* I've been watching clips online though. I might do a massive vidspam post later this week of stuff I find. Until then, here is a lighter clip. It actually takes place outside the convention, so I'm posting it now. Don't watch it you like Fox News.
Sorry for the double posting, y'all. Had to be done. XP
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| This is why Elle does not have a car. |
[25 Aug 2008|06:58pm] |
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mood |
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"When I go to Portland, I don't even plan on going shopping. I just want to spend time with Jacob." I told my mother.
"I'll pay off more of the credit card so you can do some shopping if you change your mind." She replied.
Fast forward about two weeks to yesterday.
"I might as well go downtown and shop since it's Sam's day off and she can stay with Jacob, and he'll be napping anyway." I thought. I went shopping.
Wanna know what I bought? *ahem*
At Powell's (bookstore):
Five Doctor Who novels (one new, the rest old and under $3...all the new ones they had were Ten and Martha, otherwise I would have bought more than one I'm sure) and a Neil Gaiman comic (Death: The Time of Your Life, it was only $9).
At EM (Everday Music):
Three DVDs (Enchanted, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc), six CDs (Clueless soundtrack, Valley Girl soundtrack, Freaks and Geeks soundtrack, Rubber Soul [the Beatles], Return of Saturn [No Doubt], and Oingo Boingo's live album of their final performance), and headphones (which I exchanged for a season of the Simpsons today because they were the kind of headphones with a fat jack like really old stereos use...that sucked).
You don't want to know how much all of that cost. And that, my friends, is why I have no car.
I am having a great time here though. I love spending time with my nephew and my brother. We're going to the zoo tomorrow. =D
On another note, I've been thinking about Doctor Who (it's shocking, I know). This is kind of utter babble unless you like Who, so if you don't care, you don't have to read on.
Christopher Eccleston (the ninth Doctor) is my first Doctor. But, like most new Who fans (from what I've seen at least), if I'm asked who my Doctor is, it's David Tennant (tenth Doctor). But it sort of makes me sad to say that because I love Nine. When I started watching the show, I expected David Tennant and was like "Psh, who's this?" (not because I was a Tennant fan, but I just knew he was the Doctor). But by the time I got to Parting of the Ways, I was like "Um. He's not the Doctor." Obviously I'm over that now, but...I wish we could have had two seasons with Nine. Ten is wonderful, but I still freaking love Nine. I think whoever I'm watching of the two is my favorite at the time. This is so not of importance, but really. Expect this kind of thought a lot while I'm rewatching because there will be no new Who for a long time.
I do hope David Tennant isn't leaving soon. I could grow to love a new Doctor, of course, but...it's hard to think of someone else. We'll see. It's just part of the show. I will miss Russell T Davies' episodes after the specials but at least I know I love what Steven Moffat has written for the show (mostly). But RTD brought the show back and made it something I fell in love with, so he'll always be special. Or something.
I'm am way, way too attached and sincere about this show. Ah well, it's great.
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| Balcony (Helga, G) |
[25 Aug 2008|09:41am] |
(By the way, posting has begun over at ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) founders_gifts and there have already been a couple of awesome fics and artworks posted. Go check it out for some foundery goodness!)
Title: Balcony
100quills prompt: 13. Balcony (My table)
Rating: G
Word count: 520
Summary: "There are times when Helga thinks she might hate Hogwarts."
( Balcony )
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[24 Aug 2008|11:19pm] |
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Your result for The Mega Harry Potter Character Test... Ron Weasley
You always try to help friends and stand up for what you believe is right. You aren't the most intelligent of the bunch, but you make up for this in other ways. Take The Mega Harry Potter Character Test at HelloQuizzy
Interesting. I don't usually get that result, but I can see it.
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[24 Aug 2008|11:16pm] |
Thank you, Fresca. It is so beautiful. ^^ I'm sure Bow loves it too. <3
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[24 Aug 2008|10:00am] |
Thanks for all of the support guys. <3 I really appreciate it. I'm still sad, but I've stopped the 24/7 waterworks, which is always a good thing. I'll update more about my actual feelings later, but I just had to post with this wonderful quiz that seems to be getting everything right. Add me to the list. =)
Your result for The Harry Potter Husband Test... Mrs. Longbottom
You like the nice guy. You don't need the best looking guy, or the most talented, or the most popular, or the most powerful. You want a guy who'll be there when you need him, who knows how to stick through the hard times, who isn't afraid to do what needs to be done, and who stands up to even his friends when necessary. You can't go wrong with a guy like this. (fanart by jeremia http://jeremia.deviantart.com/ used with permission) Take The Harry Potter Husband Test at HelloQuizzy
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| It's still the weekend. |
[24 Aug 2008|11:56pm] |
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Kiss したまま、さよなら - 東方神起 |
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► Self-studied Korean lessons with Jill blade012 songsaenim (my PC isn't equipped with Han Guk-o characters yet, mianhae) and povilicious23 and Jaja-shi last Friday night and I swear we all realized that we don't have to learn to speak Korean cause all of our gasoo-oppa (dongsaeng in my case) speaks English pretty well. Well, YG's Se7en and Jinu (of JinuSean) were both English speakers (with mild to no accent at all) and I am 200% positive Changmin will like it if I talk to him in English. He's smart-ass like that. But of course, we have to learn how to greet and bow Korean-style to impress the elders and the press during engagement time, u-know *winks* So we have to go back to our -imnida and -eso. I am positive my favorite Korean word, -ittdamyeon (whatever that means) is not far behind the discussion ^_^
► Since we're on the topic, everyone, please go and check Jill songsaenim's site Self Study Korean. Read it, bookmark it, make her rich and love it. Also Keith oppa ♥ of KoreanClass101.com, I hope to speak Korean well so we can converse easily. Yiheee! But you have NY-sounding American accent (bumubulong-bulong ka din ba?) which I dearly loved so hmmm, should I even bother learning Korean? xD
► My voice has been drained out from too much coughing. And I am perspiring like crazy, which I think is good cause I felt badly hot inside. Blame the ever-changing Manila weather. Damnit. I drink meds after every four hours and I swear I need someone to cook me chicken soup or something :( The sickness has to go away. I can't afford to take time off work now. Damn, mandatory overtime :(
► Jhing jhing_tearjerky and I were talking about the DongBang 4th jib release earlier since I see fewer updates at the DBSGComm. We talked about skipping buying the 1st releases and wait until everything is out from father SM so we can both choose wisely and save money. Of couse, we're kidding ourselves cause we're both excited Nunas whose saving up imaginary money for the 4th jib. Last time I read it'll be released on Aug27th but I think LSM had it pushed back or something. Which is funny cause new group SHINee is releasing their 1st jib next month (is it confirmed already?) and I am sure they have a fan base already to support them (calling glovezz and gracie_grace). Will we all see back to back SHINee and DongBang at SBS Inkigayo? I secretly wishwant DongBang will sing "Noona you're so pretty" so we can all die and freeze over. Lemme think of what DongBang song SHINee will sing *grins*
► Condolences to the family of Joan naojkenshin for the passing away of both her grandmothers. I saw the memoriam(?) entry you made for Lola Chabeng, and I expect to read one for Nanay as well. Also, please tell your Mom that we are the kinder type of addicts. ASAP.
Chinggu-deul, how's your long weekend?
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| Off to Portland! |
[22 Aug 2008|05:32pm] |
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In the morning, I'm boarding a Greyhound for Portland to see my favorite boy. Dunno if I'll be able to get online, so...be back in a week!
Oh, and check out said boy. Quite the cutie. =D
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[21 Aug 2008|08:15pm] |
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So. The vet was wrong. He did not have eight months. He hardly had eight days. We had to put him down today and I'm really sad. I don't know what else to say except that my eyes and nose are so dry from crying.
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[21 Aug 2008|10:59pm] |
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....
Three weeks till the next episode of Burn Notice, USA Network?
Three weeks? You have GOT to be kidding me.
*makes sad noises*
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| Unfinished Business (Myrtle/Olive Hornby, PG-13) |
[21 Aug 2008|10:01am] |
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music |
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Saudade pt 1 - Arsenal |
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Title: Unfinished Business
Pairing: Moaning Myrtle/Olive Hornby
Rating: PG to PG-13
Word count: 673
Notes: Just to be clear, Olive Hornby is the girl whose teasing drove Myrtle into the bathroom where she was killed. Myrtle haunted her for a while after her death. Written for hprarestpairest.
Warnings: leaning towards dub-con
Summary: "In hindsight, there is nothing Myrtle could have done."
( Unfinished Business )
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| How crap. |
[20 Aug 2008|09:03pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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So, I am not in a happy mood tonight. I covered for someone at work, which wasn't so bad, but some jocks came in. I realized that they're guys I once knew, and it was just depressing to see what people become. And they were quite annoying. But that didn't leave me feeling like crap, just...annoyed.
Tomorrow me and Felicity were supposed to go to Melissa's for a playdate with Hannah and Gabe. However, the kids are sick, so that's not going to work out. But that shouldn't make me feel how I feel.
It's just been an up and down day. And now it's very, very down. Things are just sjfjfihniorehnfgierh.
Everytime I hear my parents speak I just want to throw things or yell. I feel like, "why can't you let me brood in peace?"
This sucks ass.
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| Sign. |
[20 Aug 2008|09:28pm] |
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Peach - Otsuka Ai |
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I went to Church today and I asked God, as shallow as it may seem, for a sign if my BKK trip shall push through or not. I went home then checked my email and this is what I saw.
Of course my travel-planning-geeky self computed everything quickly and the digits for the airfare alone got me dizzy. Almost same price. Difference of maybe 2-4k but still, 600USD at least for me to go to BKK on Nov27-Dec1, dates flexible.
I called my Mom downstairs and told her the rates for the both BKK and Hong Kong for the same dates (Nov26-29 for Hong Kong) and she told me to drop BKK and we'll just push through with Hong Kong on those dates. Saves us half of the trip money actually. I can even buy Bonjour Paris photo books in Hanchasa if they still have it in stock at their physical store in Causeway Bay.
What will it be? The REAL Mickey & Minnie on my birthday or the REEL Mickey & Minnie on 11/29th?
*sigh money money where are you? sigh*
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[20 Aug 2008|02:34pm] |
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 birdies! |
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There are at least eight Sparrows in our back yard right now! *watches happily*
Also, I've been watching the BBC's "Wild China" and... whoa. Anyone with a heart for nature documentaries, watch theeeees! Of course, I don't know who narrates the original English version Upon researching, I found the English narrator is Bernard Hill, which I suppose is lovely as well (the Dutch narrator is Peter Cremers and is my absolute, absolute man-voice-crush; that man's voice truly is magical and a heavenly lust for the ear *shiver*), but the visual art is already completely stunning.
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| ROTFL! |
[20 Aug 2008|12:55pm] |
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 amused |
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Take A Bow - Rihanna |
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I was about to sleep when Shine jerrydezstalker showed me this.
Asia's (and Japan's arguably best) longest-running boyband in SATC spoof: Sexy in the City.
LOL @ Kimura Takuya and Nakai-otousan! xDDDDD
Koda Kumi-chan, I assume, had died laughing at this too. xP
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mad at the news of SGA