| Dear ____ |
[01 Dec 2011|08:54pm] |
Mum and Dad, I hate lying to you. But I am 19 years old and I am just aching for a good time. I can't tell you I have a boyfriend because he is a Catholic and I hate that. Yeah so I am going to a party at his house where we will get drunk and dance. We won't have sex but you won't believe me.
I hate lying to you - it's tearing me apart with paranoia. And I really wish I could just accept that this is normal teenage behaviour.
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| Dear Twitch |
[25 Aug 2011|10:10pm] |
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I just cleaned out your cage. It’s boxed and sitting in the corner of the garage. I was in tears because I’m not ready for it to go up into the attic. I miss you so much. I don't understand why you had to die.Usually when I'm this upset I would go into the garage and play with you, cuddle and pet you and tell you why I'm sad. I can't do that now.
My mum started yelling at me about university. I want to go away and experience student life, I don’t want to be left behind. And she wants me to go to a college here in Cookstown just because of the dept I will have. I don’t care about the dept, I can always pay it back. I just want to get away, meet new people, make friends, leave this place and enjoy my course.
She wants to let my sister go on to the university of her choice, fuck the dept. And she wants me to be here, in Cookstown. What the fuck? Am I just not smart enough for her ? I don’t know.
You've heard this over 100 times before sweetheart, and I'm sorry about that. You never had a snide answer or a comforting word for me but you were there anyway.
I’m sorry for ranting.
I love you and miss you always, thank you for being such a good pet to me and I hope you're happier now.
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[06 May 2011|01:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 numb |
] |
Dear You,
Maybe you think I'm a slut. But I'm not. When I saw you earlier this week, you said you wanted to see me again in July, when I came back. But when I saw you today you just about ignored and barely said hi. I like you so much it feels like love. I don't know what to do. Can you please just talk to me? Can you please just like me back? I get so many mixed signals from you and it kills me inside.
You saw me smile at you and pointed it out to your friend when you thought I couldn't hear.
I was with your best friend but it was because you had a girlfriend and I found out only after I came on to you. It was the worst mistake of my life. I just want you to know it was because of you.
I can't think about anyone but you. When I went out with ____, I always thought your name instead of his.
I don't know what to do with myself. I'm leaving Sunday and I want to tell you these things.
I don't know if I can.
Please help me tell you.
Please don't me a jerk to me like you were to her.
-Me.
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| expectations |
[25 Apr 2011|03:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 resigned |
] |
Dear you,
I wasn't joking when I said I had low expectations in regard to internet communication. However, while my expectations for most people are hovering right around my kneecaps, for you, they're much closer to my ankles.
I don't know why I thought getting in touch with you would be a good idea. Or why I thought you'd care enough for this time to be different.
You're terrible at this and I can't deal with caring anymore.
Best of luck then in your wonderful life. When I visit in the summer, maybe I'll see you, maybe I won't. But you definitely won't hear from me again unless you make some sort of effort to let me know you actually give a shit.
Unfortunately, I fear you'll only cause my expectations to drop even lower.
-Red
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dear______