Your source for the best in Daria quotes

A Guide To Downloading Daria Via Torrents (xposted like mad!)

2008-05-19T05:30:33Z

Hi there, fellow esteemsters.

So, loads of people here have only got a few Daria episodes off limewire, and are desperately seeking another fix of an adventure time they can enjoy without ever having to leave their room (or cardboard box, with a high-speed internet connection). Unlike hiking trails*, I have the solution! Love me.

A recent post led to a completely accidental rant on my part about the wonders of Azureus, a downloading program, especially with such large scale things as the Daria series.

Some extremely kind and noble person was about to upload (on sendspace or whatever) individual episodes of Daria. That's about 200MG per ep, killing the time, effort and bandwidth of both the up/&/downloaders, as opposed to torrenting, where you can go bit by bit (without having to sit there for one single file).

The only problem is, it's kind of confusing..

I downloaded like 3 programs (Azureus twice!) and just kept opening them, staring at them blankly, and deleting them.

I don't know utorrent, but I think bittorrent is one of the commonest. I found it too simple, and thus confusing to fiddle with (kind of like how I feel about macs sometimes, if that makes sense!) But I'll show you how to use Azureus on a mac, and I'm sure it's basically the same on a PC.

So, here's a smarmy, colourful, and hopefully clear and helpful guide to torrenting the best show in the universe.

* * *

Go >>>HERE<<< (the azureus download site) and install that.

Then, go to the general torrent site and search for your term; in this case, obviously, it's Daria (hypothetically, if there was a movie or a singer called daria you might put in keywords like tv or series)
http://www.torrentz.com/search?q=daria

Pick the result closest to the top, in this exciting story, let's choose the first one (because its the full series AND it has the most seeds and leechers/peers [i.e. hosters and fellow downloaders who you can copy off as well as the hosts)
Alternately, you could pick one of the specific seasons if you have limited space or speeds.
http://www.torrentz.com/fe0faacb89d666101e4ddc009eeb2be38c4df3b5

and then pick whatever location you want (piratebay, miniova etc - I don't know why they have so many choices?). We'll go with the first.
http://thepiratebay.org/tor/3653882/Daria_Full_Series

hmm, maybe that was a bad example. It's a little bit in German, but the big green arrow is where you need to go.

DIESE TORRENT DATEI HERUNTERLADEN!

A window will pop up, saying something like DARIA8543083589048354.torrent
Save it to the desktop or wherever. (it'll be tiny and temporary, because it's not the actual file, it's just the address)

It's the cutest.

Ok, so, open Azureus, and drag your torrent into the program window. I'm using an Of Montreal torrent as an example, and shameless plug.

Um.. I'm not sure if the Azureus default is to start downloading immediately or not (if so, pause it as soon as it appears!). But either way, you can view and change the download directory by going to the preferences (in this case, on a Mac, it's under 'Azureus', next to 'File' - I'm sure you can find something similar on a PC)

Too many options to think about! So don't! All you need to worry about is seeing where your file is heading, and where you want it to go (the last bit is optional). Also, automatic importing of torrents is handy if you're planning on downloading loads of other things.

From here, go to "My Torrents", and check out the seeds and peers (or 'leechers'). Seeds are hosts, peers are fellow stealers. The more you have, the higher chances you have of a fast and successful download.

If you want to only download one episode at a time (which might be a good idea if you want to focus on quickly downloading each epsiode one by one, as opposed to waiting for the whole thing to finish, or if 5 gig is a bit hard on the bandwidth and/or disk space), double click on the torrent name (i.e. 'Of Montreal blahblahblah'), and right click on individual files, and set their priority to not downloading.

Alright, now return to 'My Torrents', and click the green play button, or right click>'queue'. Your download will begin.

You may now go to that directory, move the files if you like, and enjoy watching the show and laughing bitterly. :]

I didn't even set out to be a spokeperson for Azureus! But I hope I've helped.

Party on, people.
Or, you know, just sit in your padded rooms and complain about the afore-mentioned hiking trail that never was, and never could be.

* see, these references might not even make sense until you've downloaded the series, haha

daria_quotes @ 2007-04-30T16:47:00

2007-04-30T20:52:37Z

I have a mission for you, Daria fans.

I need to bring in an example of satire for a homework assignment for english, and I want to bring in a Daria quote.

Looking through the transcripts, I can find some good examples but I was wondering if anyone else knew of a good example of how Daria is a social satire.

Esteemers

2007-04-23T11:46:31Z

Psychologist: Now Dara, let's see if you can make up a picture as vivid as your sister's.
Daria: It's Daria.
P: I'm sorry Daria. What do you see in the picture Dara.
D: A heard of beautiful wild ponies running free across the planes.
P: Uh- there aren't any ponies. It's two people.
D: Last time I took this test they said they were clouds. They said they could be anything I wanted.
P: That's a different test. In this test they're people and you tell me what they're discussing.
D: It's a guy and girl and they're discussing a heard of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.

Mr DeMartino: Okay class. Who can tell me which war manifest destiny was used to justify? Kevin?
Kevin: Vietnam War?
Mr DM: That came a little later Kevin. 100 years later. A lot of good men died in that war. I believe we owe it to them to at least get the century right!
K: Uh... Operation Watergate?
Mr DM: Son, promise me you'll come back and visit me someday when you've got the Heisman Trophy and a chain of auto dealerships and I'm saving up for a second pair of pants!

Jake: What about you Daria? How was your first day?
Daria: Well, my History teacher hates me cause I know all the answers but there are some interesting idiots in my class.

Mr. O'Neill: Uh... you. What's a daydream you'd like to see come true?
Daria: Uh well, I guess I'd like to do something together.
Mr. O: Excellent!
Daria: Something that will really make them suffer.

Helen: It seems she has low self-esteem.
Jake: What?! That really stinks Daria!
Helen: Easy Jake. Focus. We tell you over and over again that you're wonderful and you just don't get it! What's wrong with you?!

Mr. O'Niell: Esteem? A-teen? They don't really rhyme do they? The sounds don't quite mesh. And that in fact is often the case when it comes to a teen and esteem. The 2 just don't seem to go together. But we're here to begin realizing your actuality. Each and everyone one of you will be able to stand proudly and proclaim I AM!

Guy: So, like what do you like to do after school?
Quinn: Oh, nothing special. Go to the movies or like a theme park or out for a really fancy meal now and then. And maybe go to a concert if I know somebody who's got good seats and is renting a limo.

More later...

My favourite Daria quote is probably:
Mr. DeMartino: Why couldn't I have been born during an influenza epidemic? Why did I survive, grow tall and strong, only to squander all my potential by becoming a TEACHER!

LOVE

2007-04-21T12:16:29Z

Kevin - My knee! (screams)

Jane - Uh-oh, I think the wild one's got a boo-boo.

(Kevin continues groaning)

Jeffy - Hey, you broke the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree.

Joey - Good thing he's dead or he'd really let you have it.

Jane - This is sort of like what happened at my fourth birthday party, only it involved a tiny tricycle and a chimp.

Daria - The difference being?

(at the Thompson house)

(Kevin and Brittany are sitting in his bedroom, which is decked out in all sorts of football paraphernalia; his knee is heavily bandaged)

Brittany - Oh, Kevvy, I don't care if you squished the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree. I still love you.

Kevin - Tommy Sherman was the greatest Q.B. Lawndale ever had. I, too, was a quarterback once. Now I'm just a... one-knee guy.

Brittany - But your knee will heal.

Kevin - When? Face it, Britt, you've got cheerleader-type active womanly needs. And look at me... look at me! Kissing me now would be like kissing one of those guys who wear old man pants and watch Touched By an Angel.

(he starts removing his shoulder pads)

Brittany - Kevvy, no!

Kevin - Babe, it's gotta be this way.

Brittany - No! It can be like before. Let me bring you a Gatorade.

Kevin - No! Only sportsmen can drink sports drinks. (tosses Gatorade out the window) From now on, I drink Yoo-Hoo.

Brittany - No...! (starts crying)

(at school)

(the usual students are in Mr. O'Neill's class, with the notable absence of Kevin)

Brittany - Then he said that his armpits would know only the embrace of his crutches.

Jodie - What does that mean?

Brittany - I don't know, but it sounds bad. Like, Kevvy's armpits have feelings, but not for me. Now what do I do with lips so empty, so yearning?

Jodie - Lips? So, we're off the armpit thing?

Daria - You know, if you break up Brittany's attempt at thought, it looks like a Mystik Spiral song.

Jane - (grabs Daria's notepad) "Armpits have feelings, but not for me. Now what do I do with lips emp-ty?" Eh. Are you sure you don't want to replace "lips" with "skull?"

Daria - It's a work in progress.

Mr. DeMartino - Well, forgive me if I didn't see the sign on the door that said girls' exorcism room!

(tires squealing)

Helen - Oh, dear, your father's braking with his angry foot again.

Quinn - If we moved to a popular town, he'd be happier.

Helen - Quinn, we're not moving.

Jake - That's it, we're moving! Look at this -- it say Lawndale High's football team is the worst in Lawndale history. It says Lawndale High is a school for losers!

Helen - Jake, that's the Lawndale Shopper. It's written by an 80-year-old man who, if you recall, had to be taken off his roof by the fire department because he thought he was being chased by screaming mice.

Jake - That doesn't mean it isn't true.

Quinn - Oh, Daddy, mice don't scream.

Daria - Yeah, you're thinking of lobsters. Who's up for seafood?

Jake - The value of our home... destroyed. Our life's investment... gone! Good-bye, retirement. Good-bye, condo on the golf course. Helen, we're ruined! Don't you see?!

Helen - I see you shopped angry again. Now what are we going to do with five pounds of... "Jay-Tees' Jellied Pork Shoulder?" Ecch...

Artie - You go to Lawndale High, right?

Jane - No. We're reform school gals looking for love in all the wrong places.

And that's how I've saved countless youth children as a walking safety don't. And when kids are about to do something dangerous, they go, "Hey, I don't want to do this. I want to be like that cool safety guy."

Brittany - He'd be such a wonderful father.

Daria - Of a coconut.

Kevin - Now, my crutches are like my best feature.

Daria - Taking over the role formerly played by his car.

Jane - Well, this plan backfired perfectly.

Mr. DeMartino - Kevin, that report was peachy!

Kevin - Thanks.

Mr. DeMartino - Although what it has to do with the League of Nations, which was your assigned topic, I fail to understand!

Kevin - I mean, what's saving lives if there's no one to make out with?

Daria - I believe Gandhi asked that same question.

Jane - It's why he had to be eliminated.

(of a planted medical crutch) Brittany - I wonder why it isn't blossoming?

Daria - Did you take the little rubber thing off the bottom?

Brittany - Oh!

Jane - Oh, mmm, Daria? Maybe we should go inside before lightning strikes you dead and bits of you mess up my nice shoes.

Cheerleaders - We're not losers! We're not losers! We're not losers! Lawndale rules!

Jane - Brittany worked all week writing that.

Tom - It shows. The reiteration? Powerful.

Daria - Like getting hit in the head repeatedly with a sock full of quarters.

My plan to get Daria on DVD

2007-04-12T02:07:55Z

I would like to start an email campaign. Many shows have gotten released and even brought back due to rabid fans sending so many emails that the servers crashed. I'm asking everyone here to get everyone you know who would be willing to do this and have them send emails to Mtv everyday until Daria is released in its entirety.

daria_quotes @ 2007-04-02T19:21:00

2007-04-02T23:22:42Z

shit, I'm a day late. well anyway:

"Jane: And then, Jesse, while we're asleep, those objects come to life and plot their secret take over our civilization. April 1st, 2007. That's the day they make their move!"

New, here.

2007-02-08T02:03:43Z

Hello.

I love Daria; the queen of teen sarcasm and the sworn cynical enemy of overloaded teen angst. God, I miss that series so much. The quotes really made my day.

Here's my contribution:

TEEN BOY: Where have you girls been all our lives?
DARIA: Waiting for you. We were born in this room. We grew up in this room. And we're going to die in this room, alone.

TRENT: Do you ever feel like you’re wasting your life, Daria?
DARIA: Only when I’m awake.

MR. O'NEILL: Right here and now, let’s pledge to make Daria’s dream a reality.
DARIA: You mean the one where people walking down the street burst into flames?

6 Daria quotes

2006-12-06T08:11:22Z

{01-02} Scarlett Johansson
{03-09} Helen Bonham Carter
{10-19} Kristen Bell
{20-20} Eva Green
{21-27} Marie Antoinette
{28-32} Veronica Mars
{33-38} Daria quotes
{39-42} Space Ghost
{43-50} The Venture Brothers

this is a fake cut

The Daria Diaries

2006-11-20T08:38:38Z

So... I've had this book for ages and decided almost as long ago that I was going to post my favorite quotes... then I kept not doing it. So I'm doing it now in my small effort to try a tiny revival of this community. *sigh*

Brittany (in a letter to Kevin): Don't you know that girls who actually PLAY sports instead of CHEERING for GUYS who play sports are bad news with a capital T!

(description of Mr. Demartino): Beneath his gruff exterior, he's a puppy dog. A rabid puppy dog.

Jesse (Trent's best friend, the one who plays guitar in Mystik Spiral for those who don't know): Practice makes perfect. And leather pants don't hurt.

Daria: Smart is not a four-letter word. That would be smar

(on a note)"UPCHUCK
STOP SHOOTING SPITBALLS AT ME OR I'LL RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT.
JANE.

Darling - Those aren't spitballs... they're delicate projectiles of love."

Daria: Occassionally I think about doing something to change my situation, but where am I going to get hold of a Stealth Bomber?

Daria: The future is an enormous question mark, and I don't know what lies ahead. I only know that if it moves, I'm shooting it.

daria quotes

2006-11-19T13:10:33Z

hey, i'm a huge daria fan and i love the sarcasmn of the show
so i decided to pick out a few quotes ( and not just daria quotes )
and make a quote of the week to put into a picture frame or
something, and put into my room
i know this may sound a little bit silly, but i wanna try it

so, could you help me and find the best quotes or statements from
all daria episodes? not conversations

like this one

"We are now entering hell. Please keep your hands and elbows inside the car."

thanks :)

daria_quotes @ 2006-09-06T19:49:00

2006-09-06T09:50:50Z

I am thinking of going as Daria to a costume party. Could anyone share some tips or photos from their own experience?

random quotes i loove.

2006-08-22T10:10:10Z

Quinn: Daria, you can't leave me here with those, those... yuppies!

Amanda: You know, if you try to hold a butterfly tightly in your hand, it will die. You have to let it go. And if it comes back, it is truly yours, but if doesn't, it never really was.
Jane: (quietly) How about if you tear off its precious little wings?

LMFAO! <3

Daria: Yuppies are from the 80s.
Quinn: So what do you call people in funny outfits who talk about peace and love and stuff?
Daria: Trekkies.

Helen: It's just a visit, Daria.
Daria: That's what they told J.F.K.

DEDICATED TO MY LITTLE BROTHER:

Trent: Uh, who are you?
Jane: You remember Quinn, Daria's sister?
Trent: Oh, yeah. Daria's sister. Hey.
Quinn: Excuse me, I have a name.
Trent: Right. Daria's sister.

Me: is it wrong that i love upchuck cause he reminds me of peterman?
Thania: Not at all.
Me: Upchuck: Sweet Daria, you don't have to resort to a ruse to get into my personal space. All you need to do is ask.
Daria: Your personal space is the final frontier, Upchuck. One where I intend never to boldly go. (walks away)
Upchuck: You'll be back. They all come back.
Jane: Name two. (walks away)
Upchuck: I could!
Thania: hahahaha!

Jane: Thanks for the ride, Trent.
Trent: No problem. I needed a break anyway. I've been practicing for ten hours straight.
Jane: Daria, would you say sleeping with a guitar in your hands counts as practicing?
Trent: As long as you don't drop it.

Kevin: Daria, you're a chick, right?
Daria: Why? You have a biology test today?

Jane: I didn't know you got car sick.
Daria: I don't, usually. It's the fumes. It smells like, it smells like...
Jane: Teen spirit?
Daria: Cheap perfume.

Jane: Trent. Trent. Trent!
Trent: (wakes up) Officer it's not even my car.

Trent: You did the right thing, coming to me.
Daria: Sorry we woke you up.
Trent: Don't worry about it, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Alright, here's the plan. I'll set right here with my foot on the accelerator ready to burn rubber.
Jane: Trent, pull over here and make sure you turn off the car in case you fall asleep okay?
Trent: Alternate plan. Cool

Jodie: (walking up) What are you guys doing here?
Daria: Observing.
Jane: Innocently.
Jodie: I can't believe what Ms. Li did to your poster. Wait a minute... What are you guys planning?
Daria: Get lost Landon.
Jane: It's for your own good.
Daria: You've got a bright future kid.
Jane: You don't want to be here when what's going to go down goes down.

Daria: I can't shoot my own mother. Not with paint anyway.

Daria: (puts head in locker) Do me a favor will you?
Jane: Yeah?
Daria: Close my locker.

Daria: Amy, is life always todry, stupid, and humilating, or is it just a phase?
Amy: Just a phase. I'm expecting to grow out of it anytime now.

Jane: Why are you staring at my brother?
Daria: Selfless concern? I think he stopped breathing.
Jane: Nah, he's entering a dormant stage. In about ten years he should emerge as a butterfly. I guess you're gonna wait.

Daria: I told her I'd give her the opportunity to show there was more to her than the surface Quinn. Turns out there isn't.
Jane: And what exactly happened to the pore stuff? Our big finish?
Daria: You know the conscience I don't have? It got to me.

Daria: I should've known this wasn't a real date when Robert here kept calling me Darcy.
Robert: Sorry ma'am.
Daria: And ma'am. You were trying to buy my influence with a date?
Quinn: That's how we do it in America, comrad.

Jane: You know, I'd really like to show that Ms. Morris that the Lanes are no bunch of ordinary deadbeats.
Daria: Of course not. You're deadbeats with style.

Jane: Where are you going?
Trent: Who are you? Mom?
Jane: No, Mom would never ask where you're going.
Trent: Exactly.

Jane: So, how's the story coming? Or does it disturb you if I talk while you're writing?
Daria: It would disturb me if I were actually doing any writing.
Jane: What's the problem? Take people you know and have them do whatever you want. I'd make them crawl, I tell you. Crawl!

Mr. O'Neill: Now, when he shed his regal vestments and began dressing as if he had no money, a very funny thing happened to the prince. What was that? Kevin?
Kevin: He became the poor guy formerly known as the prince?

Trent: Hey, Daria, looks good. (drives away)
Jane: Now, watch out for the girl with the red face who's forgotten how to walk. Oh, never mind. That's you.

Sandi: They may be poor but that doesn't mean they should be unfashionable.
Stacy: Right.
Tiffany: Totally.
Daria: They may be shallow but that doesn't mean they should be executed.
Jane: Yes, it does.
Daria: Very well, I'm sold.

St. Patrick's Day: You see, Daria, you really had a wonderful life.
Daria: What the hell are you talking about?

Daria: Let's do the math one more time. Your dance decorations were a huge hit.
Jane: Plus.
Daria: But my sister managed to take complete credit for them.
Jane: Minus.
Daria: We hung out with a couple of guys who weren't so bad.
Jane: Plus.
Daria: But they turned out to be carriers of the dreaded Ruttheimer gene.
Jane: Big minus.
Daria: So, we're more or less even on the night.
Jane: Darn. And it came so close to turning out semi-decent.
(They see the three members of the Fashion Club still outside while snow is starting to fall.)
Both: Plus!

Val: Waterproof eye makeup is so important, Dar. And glitter -- I'm really into glitter these days. It makes everyone feel like a star. Are you getting this, Dar? Why don't you read me back your notes?
Daria: Okay. "What am I doing here? How am I going to get through this? Dear God, help me."

Jane: Misery loves company.
Daria: You don't have to tell me that. It's the basis of our whole friendship.

Upchuck: Charles is my name, exploring the dark underbelly of passion is my game.

Jane: "Different," eh? Hmm... I wonder what I get if I turn you in?
Daria: More free time to spend with Kevin and Brittany.
Jane: Curse you different ones and your insidious logic.

Jane: A lot of weirdness around here lately.
Daria: Yeah. I won't be sorry to see this day end.
Jane: You say that every day.

Jane: So you finally convinced your dad that you're not a communist?
Daria: Yeah, I'm showing him how much I love money by hitting him up for it every chance I get.

Mr. DeMartino: Daria, take my chips.
Daria: Excuse me?
Mr. DeMartino: You know, as a thank you for making me want to kill myself a little less than the processed sausages who call themselves your classmates.
Jane: You're not one of those "young people are our greatest hope" guys, are you?

Daria: You and Jane aren't really morning people, are you?
Trent: Hey, the night holds the key.
Daria: The key to what?
Trent: I don't know, Daria. It's early.

Trent: Listen, I got to get to rehearsal. I'm late.
Daria: How do you know? You don't wear a watch.
Trent: I'm always late. That's why I don't wear a watch. They depress me.
Daria: You know, Trent, somehow that makes perfect sense.

Helen: I gave you life, Daria; I can take it away.

Daria: Gee, this won't end badly.
Jane: You know, we are the ones who told him to get a motorcycle.
Daria: Hey, if we told him to jump off a bridge, would he do that?
Jane: Dunno. We'll try that next time.

Mr. O'Neill: You're being judgmental, Daria. And you know what they say: judge and you get mental.
Daria: And you know what I say.
Jane: Life sucks and then you die?

Ms. Li: Miss Morgendorffer, it is my duty to inform you that you are the number one suspect in the murder of Kevin Thompson.
Daria: What?
Jane: It's always the quiet ones.

Tad: That product was tested on bunnies and kitties!
Quinn: It was?!
Sandi: Duh... that's why we use it. So those cute animals didn't suffer in vain.

Tad: You don't respect other species' rights.
Sandi: Shove it, veggie boy.

Doctor: We think it might be best to put her under a little thing we call intensive observation.
Quinn: About time.
Jake: Wait a minute. There's nothing wrong with Daria.
Quinn: Yeah. She's always like this.

Doctor: Why don't you be Daria?
Quinn: Oh God, just throw me in front of a train, why don't you.
Doctor: Oh come on, it can't be that bad. Give it a try.
Quinn: I just did.
Doctor: Oh.
Daria: I am not suicidal.
Doctor: All right Daria. Now can you be Quinn?
Daria: Okay, now I'm suicidal.

Daria: Do you think I complain a lot?
Tom: What are you bitching about now?

Trent: Hey.
Jane: Let me guess. You woke up at 4 this afternoon and couldn't get back to sleep.
Trent: It's not just that.

Trent (singing): "Your salary offends me, your health plan..."
Mr. O'Neill: "Doesn't mend me?"
Trent: You know, if you're not going to take this seriously, we can just stop right now.

Daria: Okay. We know Mr. O'Neill assigned a play, and you're pretty sure the title didn't contain the word "alien." Do you remember anything else?
Joey: Uh, I think the guy on the cover was wearing tights.
Daria: Hmm. Since there are no wrestling dramas on the syllabus, I'm guessing Shakespeare.
Jeffy: Wait, I remember now. He's a stalker. He follows girls home from parties and peeks in their windows.
Daria: Romeo and Juliet.

Tiffany: This is the hardest and most important decision you'll ever have to make.
Quinn: I know! Stacy, do you still have that magic eightball?

Jane: Hey, if I didn't have the nerve to pick up guys, you wouldn't have a boyfriend.
Daria: Oh great. I'm not going to have to date this guy now, am I?
Jane and Tom: Hey!

Nathan: I mean, the sixties are over.
Trent: The forties were over first.

Tom: Anyway, what about a movie tonight?
Daria: I can't. I promised Quinn I'd watch "Gone With the Wind" with her.
(Tom starts laughing, then trails off when he realizes Daria is serious)
Tom: Okay, that freaks me out and scares me.

Jodie: Hey. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of as long as you're responsible.
Daria: So then you and Mack have... been responsible?
Jodie: Um... I really don't want to discuss that right now.
Daria: I understand.
Jodie I promise: soon as my parents are dead, I'll tell you all about it.

Jane: Anyway, being in a relationship can't possibly hinge on physical intimacy. 'Cause that would mean our parents are still doing it.
Daria: Which is absurd.
Jane: No chance.
Daria: I'd join the circus.
Jane: Right behind you.
Daria: Thanks for your insight.
Jane: What I'm here for.

David: Hi, I'm David Sorenson. Are you Quinn?
Daria: I don't know. Is this the ninth circle of Hell?
David: The Divine Comedy.
Daria: Wait a minute, you know that? All right. Who are you and what do you want with my sister?

Daria: Just for the record, the police don't like it when you drive on the wrong side of the road.
Trent: Tell me about it.

Jane: To college. I can't wait. What do you think we'll find when we get there?
Daria: Hmm. That the students are shockingly ignorant, the professors self-centered and corrupt, and the entire system geared solely to the pursuit of funding?
Jane: Hmm, yes. You know that thing I said about you getting soft?
Daria: Yeah?
Jane: I take it back.

That last statement has me looking forward to college. =D

Yes, I have a problem. I love Daria Morgendorffer.

I thought this might be of interest for some of you...

2006-08-03T08:12:18Z

Join daria_rpg
As far as we know it's the only Daria RP in existance.
That automatically makes us the best. As if we wouldn't have been anyway.

daria_quotes @ 2006-07-07T23:03:00

2006-07-07T13:04:31Z

[x] Comment and credit t_i_n_u_v_i_e_l :)

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Quote Help

2006-04-23T09:25:10Z

I was just wondering if any of you can remember a quote I have been having trouble with.

It involves Jane & Daria going into Trents room, and it is something like he has been sleeping for 3 days straight... I don't know! But he finally wakes up and I do believe he says our favourite line "Heyyyyy Daria"

No idea what episode/series. I have searched and searched!

Help would be much appreciated =)

#513: Boxing Daria

2006-03-13T08:04:01Z

Too many quotes from my favourite episode :)

Helen - Oh, Eric, I'm so sorry I'm running late. I had a household emergency. Oh, our refrigerator suddenly broke. What do you mean I should chill? I'm perfectly relaxed! Oh, refrigerator! Chill! (laughs) Oh, I agree. There's nothing funny about food poisoning.

Daria - Unless someone else gets it. Then it's frivolity city.

*******************************************

Ms. Li (over PA) - Attention, Lawndale High students. It has come to my attention that during our all-important Trail Mix Fund Drive Week, some individuals have been flaunting outside snacks from non-school-affiliated sources. Now, students... the Booster Club, Leadership Club, Chess Club, Dominoes Club, football, basketball, lacrosse and marbles teams, as well as the Fraternal Brotherhood of Future Marketing and Promotion Executives, need your help. I'm afraid we going to have to institute snack spot checks! I'm sorry, young people, but you have abused your privileges! (PA clicks off)

Daria - I hate this place.

Jane - That reminds me. I need some chocolate. Unauthorized chocolate. (fakes evil laugh as she walks away)

(Mr. O'Neill walks up to Daria)

Mr. O'Neill - Daria! Hello! I want to ask you something.

Daria - I'm not surrendering my pudding snack.

Mr. O'Neill - What?

Daria - What did you want to ask me?

Mr. O'Neill - It's about the freshman tours. You know, the tours we give students who'll be entering school next year.

Daria - Forget it.

Mr. O'Neill - We're looking for bright, articulate and empathetic students to lead groups of... (her words finally register) Forget it?

Daria - "Empathetic"?

Mr. O'Neill - Well, yes, Daria. With your vivid storyteller's imagination, you can really put yourself in the shoes of these young people entering high school for the first time.

Daria - I don't think I can bring myself to say anything encouraging about a place that strip-searches for Cheez-Its.

Mr. O'Neill - Darn it, Daria, this is an opportunity to polish up those people skills. I promised myself I'd get you to do this.

Daria - Why?

Mr. O'Neill - Because I care.

Daria - Then you need to work on your callousness skills. (walks away)

*****************

Daria - I can't stand to go to my family's weddings. What makes you think I could ever go to yours?

Tom - Come up after the wedding.

Daria - Oh, sure, so I can get there just as the marriage starts to disintegrate.

(Tom sighs)

Daria - (relents) Look, I appreciate the offer, but you know... too many people, not enough evacuation routes. I'll see you when you get back.

Tom - I'm worried. I don't think you can really do without me for a week.

Daria - No, you should worry that once I remember what it's like not to have you cramping my style, I'll want to make it permanent.

Tom - Romantic.

*************************************

Helen - Quinn, I thought I asked you and Daria to move that box out to the curb.

Quinn - What? We did.

Helen - Maybe you dreamt that you did. I want you to go out there and move it right now.

Quinn - But, Mom, I swear...

Helen - I don't have time to play games, Quinn. I'm late! Bring the box out to the curb or I won't be responsible for what happens to your carrot sticks! (leaves)

(outside, Quinn is dragging the box to the front yard)

Quinn (muttering) - Stupid freakin' carton... hard freakin' labor... I'm only freakin' human! How much can one freakin' girl take? Even an enormously freakin' popular one...

******************************

Mr. O'Neill - But you don't have to tell them what a great place it is! I want them to see that Lawndale High is the sort of school that embraces all kinds of students.

Daria - What's that supposed to mean?

Mr. O'Neill - Well, Jodie and the others are sort of joiner types, and you...

Daria - Are sort of a non-joiner type? An outcast, an oddball, a fifth wheel? And you want me to tell other oddballs that life at Lawndale High will be just peachy?

Mr. O'Neill - Daria! Is everything all right?

Daria - No! Why do I have to be pegged as the misfit all the time? I can get along with people! (leaves angrily)

Mr. O'Neill - Of course you can, Daria, that's my point! So you'll think about it?!

(getting no response from Daria, Mr. O'Neill turns to Jane)

Jane - Kids.

******************************888

Jake - I'm just saying, Daria. If you give the other boys and girls a chance, you might find someone you like. It takes all kinds.

Quinn - I like lots of kids! (starts bouncing up and down like she's on a sugar high)

Daria - They call me egghead.

Helen - Sweetie, it's a little hard for your father and me to keep taking time off from work to talk to the counselor. Why don't you meet us halfway and try talking to the other kids?

Daria - They don't say anything that interests me.

Quinn - I talk a lot to the other kids, and they talk back!

(the car pulls into the driveway of their home, a modest one-level ranch house)

Helen - Daria, how do you know they don't interest you?

Daria - I'm tired. (gets out of car)

Quinn - I'm not tired!

********************************

Quinn - Back when we were kids, in the old house. You know, you had a big fight about Daria and then Dad stormed out? It was very traumatic. The scars are with me to this day. Do we have any diet soda?

(outside, Helen and Jake peer into the box, attempting to coax Daria out)

Helen - Come on, Daria. Come out of the box. We want to talk to you.

Jake - Yeah, come on, kiddo. We'll all have a nice talk.

Daria - No.

Helen - Daria, you can't spend the rest of your life in there.

Daria - I can once they put in my high-speed Internet connection.

Jake - Daria... please come out?

Daria - All right, but you have to promise to be completely honest with me.

Helen - Um... uh... okay.

Jake - Helen, is that such a good idea?

Helen - Jake!

Jake - Honest it is!

****************************

Jane - I'm not quite getting this. You ran off because of a fight your parents had 11 years ago?

Daria - It's not the fight. It's the sudden realization that all these years, when I thought they were torturing me, in reality I was the one torturing them.

Jane - First of all, I don't think it's either-or. From where I'm sitting, you and your folks have done a great job of torturing each other. And second of all, you mean to tell me you don't know when you're busting them?

Daria - Yes, I know when I'm busting them. What I didn't realize is what a pain I've been when I thought I was just being me.

Jane - Huh?

Daria - At age six, I decide I don't need to talk to other kids ever again; my parents are the ones who get called into school. At 12, I decide to try out some Shakespearean insults on my teachers; my parents are the ones who get called into school. At 15, I start writing violent revenge fantasies just to get a reaction...

Hope I didn't break your friends page reading schedule!

daria_quotes @ 2006-02-22T07:45:00

2006-02-22T12:51:11Z

[Counselor holds up a picture of two people talking]
Quinn: Let's see... they've been going out for awhile, and he's upset because other people keep asking her out, and she saying she can't help it if she's attractive and popular, and besides, nobody ever said they were going steady, and if he does want to go steady he's got to do a lot better than movie, burger, back seat, movie, burger, back seat, because there are plenty of guys with bigger back seats waiting to take her someplace nice!
Mrs. Manson: Now, Dora, let's see if you can make up a story as vivid as your sister's.
Daria: It's Daria.
Mrs. Manson: I'm sorry... Daria. What do you see in the picture, Dara?
Daria: Um... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
Mrs. Manson: Uh, there aren't any ponies. It's two people.
Daria: Last time I took one of these tests they told me they were clouds. They said they could be whatever I wanted.
Mrs. Manson: That's a different test, dear. In this test, they're people and you tell me what they're discussing.
Daria: Oh... I see. All right, then. It's a guy and a girl and they're discussing... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.

daria_quotes @ 2006-02-21T18:14:00

2006-02-21T23:16:15Z

Daria: And then you open the window and say, "Life is a meaningless descent into the void." Then you jump, and on the way down you scream, "Now I understand, I understand everything."

Jane: Can you get rid of the window part and give me something funny to say? And a poodle. I'd really like to be in a scene where I'm walking a poodle.

Daria: Actors.

From Episode 2x06, "Monster"

I think i'm getting addicted to this whole quote thing.

2006-02-03T01:57:40Z

Random quotes...

Trent: We're thinking of changing our name. Do you think if we spelled Mystik Spiral with two y's it would be better?
Daria: [thinking] And if I spelled my name D-a-r-y-a I'd be crowned Miss America.

Jane: Am I missing something?
Ms. Morris: The team needs you, and you need the team... IF you don't want to be here taking math again this summer.
Jane: Gee, that almost sounds like blackmail. Fortunately, I can pull up my math grade on my own.
Ms. Morris: Then I'll flunk you.
Jane: Why don't I go to Ms. Li and expose this grade-changing arrangement?
Ms. Morris: She already knows.
Jane: Okay, then, back off or I'll tell the P.T.A.
Ms. Morris: They know, too.
Jane: Congress?
Ms. Morris: You're beaten, Lane.
Jane: How about if I call the three local TV stations and tell each one that the other two are running the story?
Ms. Morris: Damn.

Helen: I came in to ask you to rinse off your dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. Your father found a cheese fry melted onto his "World's Greatest Dad" cup and he thought it was some kind of rodent. Now he's sworn off coffee.
Daria: Then I should be hearing from the Nobel committee any day now.

Daria: My hormones don't rage. Oh sure, they get mad sometimes, but then they just stop speaking to each other.

Jane: You'll figure out something. Use your womanly attributes.
Daria: Gotcha. I'll give birth.

Lawndale Mascot: My head's too big.
Daria: That's 'cause it's so full of dreams.

[Daria's class is visiting the local mall]
Mrs. Bennett: Now, we'll meet back here at quarter to three. Remember, area F, section moss, level 3. Got it? F moss 3.
Kevin: I know a good way to remember that.
Mrs. Bennett: You have a mnemonic device Kevin?
Kevin: It's not a S&M thing Mrs. B, it's just a way to remember that.
Mrs. Bennett: Well let's hear it.
Kevin: Fmossthree. Fmossthree. Get it? Fmossthree. Or was it Fmosstwo?
Mrs. Bennett: Everyone, write it down.

This whole quote thing... Its pretty fun.

2006-02-02T03:49:52Z

Here are my favorite quotes from "Is it Fall Yet?"

Brittany: Oh, Mack, something terrible has happened!
Mack:Don't worry, the sun's not gone. It's just hiding behind the clouds.

David Sorenson: Hi, I'm David Sorenson! Are you Quinn?
Daria: I don't know, is this the ninth circle of hell?
David Sorenson: "The Divine Comedy."
Daria: Wait, you know that? OK, who are you and what do want with Quinn?
David Sorenson: I'm here to tutor her.
Daria: Seriously.

Daria: I have something to tell you two. Tom's not my brother.
Kevin: A-ha!
Daria: He is the mad scientist who built me. He has to hang around in case my internal organs fall out.

Alison: Why go to an artist's colony if you're not going to mingle with your fellow artists?
Jane: That's like saying 'why go to a PENAL colony if you're not gonna mingle with your - ' I think I'll stop there.

Jane: Some day the curators will look back on these and say they're from my 'art colonies suck' period.
Daria: [sceptical] "Curators"?
Jane: Criminologists?

Trent: [singing] Betryal, yeah, stabbed in the back. Betrayal, yeah, I'm stretched on the rack. Betryal, yeah, thrown outa the... thrown outa the...
Daria: Pack?
Trent: [singing] thrown outa the pack. Betrayal, betrayal. Yeah, betrayal, betrayal, yeah...

Hello there...

2006-02-01T00:55:09Z

This is my first post... These are my favorite quotes from -Daria the Musical

Daria: Oh me, oh my. A lovely day is dawning
Oh, what a joy I didn’t wake up dead
So I can go to school and then resume my yawning
And get my sleep in class instead of in my bed.
"morning in the Burbs"

Daria: Hey, look at what the newspaper is saying
Jane: What?
Daria:It says a great big storm is on the way
Jane: Cool.
Daria:The roof’s not really where we should be staying
Jane: Why?
Daria:’Cos this big-ass storm is happening today
Jane: Hey, what if the town blew away?
Daria:My sister would have nowhere to stay
Jane:The mall would be gone, and that’s okay
Both:Down on your knees and begin to pray
That the town blows away
"If the town blew away"

Jake: Gah, gah, damn it!
Driver: Learn to drive, jerk!
Jake: Gah, gah, damn it!
Driver: Glad you got your horn to work!
Jake: Gah, gah, damn it!
Driver: Stay in your lane!
Jake: There’s a hurricane coming and I’m going insane!
"Gah Gah Dammit!"

Hellen: Give me that.
Hellooo? Trent? You haven’t seen the girls? Are your parents there? Are they in town at all? Have you done anything to prepare for this hurricane? Yes, hurricane! Trent, I want you to come over and wait for the girls here. You’ll be safer. Then put some on! And get over here now, young man! [hangs up]
Doesn’t anybody in this town wear pants anymore?

Kevin: But by now they’re catching on
That two well-liked kids are gone
Brittany [to Daria]: And I’ll bet that someone’s even missing you
Kevin & Brittany: So, while the wind does blow
On our loved ones down below
We wish that we could tell them we’re okay
Jane: And I’d say I’m on the roof
With a bimbo and a goof
But I’m due to come back down most any day
Brittany: They must be worried
Daria: They’re probably distressed
Brittany : They must be worried
Jane: It’s causing them unrest
All: They must be worried
"They must be Worried"

Little Girl: The big, wet rainstorm’s over, I think you hurt your car
Jake: The big, wet rainstorm’s over, now will you go real far
Away from me because, you see
I crashed my car into a tree
And I’m as mad as mad can be!
Little Girl: The big, wet rainstorm’s over!
"The Big Wet Rain storms over"

daria_quotes @ 2006-01-13T20:40:00

2006-01-14T01:51:58Z

Hey, I'm Mer, I just joined. Here are a few of my favorites:

From Antisocial Climbers:
Daria: Look, I'm sorry I gave you all that crap about your boyfriend.
Jane: Well I'm sorry I embarrassed you all those times in front of my brother.
Daria: I feel like we should say more.
Jane: Ya, that was kinda pathetic.
Daria: Umm I'm sorry my parents didn't stop at one child.
Jane: I'm sorry they added those ugly blue M&Ms....better?
Daria: I've made my peace.

From Mart of Darkness:
Jane: Food substitute?
Daria: Call me a purist but I don't think cheese should crunch.
Jane: Doesn't the phrase "beechwood aged" mean anything to you?

From Dye, Dye my Darling (my fav):
Daria: This stuff stinks. Why can't they just mix it before they put it in the bottle?
Jane: Because the vapors would build up and it would explode.
Daria: Oh. Well, that sounds like something I'd want seeping into my scalp.

Daria: You know, one phone call and I could have my sister over here with her little fashion fiends to do this job the way it should be done.
Jane: "Hello, Quinn? It's me, Daria. Can you help me make my friend look pretty?"
Daria: All right, you bitch. What do I do?

From Psycho Therapy:
Daria: *reading questionnaire* If you could be an animal, would you be (some choices that i forget, hehe)?
Jane: How about bat?
Daria: Bat's not an option.
Jane: Fill it in.
Daria: Now explain your choice in a brief sentence.
Jane: I've always wanted to sleep upside down and spread rabies.
Daria: I think that should go under career goals but, whatever.

And finally, classic Jake from Lane Miserables:
Jake: Why don't they just put Marmaduke to sleep?

daria_quotes @ 2005-12-27T16:10:00

2005-12-27T05:47:31Z

i was watching "run jane run" and discovered two of yhe BEST quotes ever.

Trent: What she's doing takes guts. All that practicing, day in, day out. And what for? So a crowd of drunks can make your art the backdrop to their pathetic mating dance? They don't care about your dream. They just want something loud going on so they don't have to talk.

Daria: We're not discussing Jane anymore, are we?

hehehehehehehehhe
and a personal favourite from jane, who is my toally favourite character

Jane - Yes, and I don't intend to stand for it. They can have my squat-thrusts when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Daria - What?

Jane - I don't know.

daria_quotes @ 2005-12-01T00:37:00

2005-12-01T00:38:17Z

Not a quote, but Daria-related:

http://www.youthink.com/quiz.asp?action=take&quiz_id=84