Portlandiaphile - February 13th, 2007
12:14 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]blakthorne
low cost/sliding scale nard snipping?
ah, great and powerful damned.portlanders,
i come to you with a question which i'm pretty certain
has been asked approximately five million times but
which i cannot find the answer to as my search.fu
is teh sucketh.

i'm a poor starving artist, and it turns out
that my pussy has reached an age where his fuzzy little
balls have swelled and he's thinking prurient thoughts.
he's been looking funny at the dog and been caught trying
to get the guinea pig's phone number.

it's time my pussy has his nards snipped.

i am, however, intimidated by a number of $250.00, and
i'm not certain if that's an inflated number pulled from
the depths of my twisted brain, or a factual quote on de.nutting,
and would love to know if there are any lower cost options out there,
as i would love to be able to eat in addition to fixing my cat.

thank you. i promise i will name all the pussies my cat
will never father after you in grateful recompense.
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12:44 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]ucantcumin
Be my Valentine
Pleeeease?
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12:56 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]portable_dream
Where can I find those little green plastic army men?

Finnegans didn't have any. :(

SW/NW is best, but I can venture out to other places if needed.
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07:19 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]strangebluegoo
Need a laugh?
I'm sick of saving all of my idiotic stories because they're embarrassing...

It was a great night to ride my bike the other night...
So after the process of getting my bike onto the street (it requires a certain special type of effort) I push off on my nifty cruiser.

My shoe lace gets tangled around my pedal while I'm moving....and since the brakes are of the push-back variety...I had to use my free foot to stop.

Sitting there for a few minutes contemplating and lamenting at the same time, since these quirky problems always seem to happen to me, I attempted to untangle myself. No such luck. I thought, "Hey I could remove my shoe!" but the gods of "Let's fuck with Kristen..." were in an especially hellish mood that night...aka my shoe would not remove itself from my foot, no matter how much effort I put into the task.

My last option was simply to fall over. In the middle of the street, in front of the baby Jesus (and yes, he did laugh at my precarious situation) and in front of my neighbors who already think I'm some sort of nut anyways...

Now I have embarrassed myself and scraped my knee like a 5 year old on some hellbent death mission. The only thing left to do was ride away as quickly as possible before my neighbors looked out from their garage (they like to build stuff...)

Things like this occur regularly to me. I've learned to laugh at them...now you can too.
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07:28 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]rarebit
domain + space?
you people are probably savvy about it. who should I go through for domain registration and web space? free would be awesome. I'm using globat, and they tried automatically "upgrading" me which involved just taking some funds from my account (well they sent me some emails like "let us know if you DON'T want this.... which I ignored, because I have too much to sort through for that nonsense.) so yeah, not so cool! I condemn them in this public forum. anyhow, any recommendations would be appreciated.
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08:06 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
lovedayisland
Fire spinning supplies in Portland?
I want to get my partner an instructional video and fire spinning kit for Valentines. Is there somewhere in Portland where I can purchase these supplies with out having to mail order them? Thanks a lot!
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10:17 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]dottedcircles
need childcare?
Hey all!!!
I am new to the community, but I have been in Portland for about 6 months.

I am running a small childcare out of my home in NE, if anyone is interested shoot me an email: dottedcircles at gmail dot com
I do pick-ups from school/home. I am pretty flexible and open minded... what ever your situation lemme know and I can work around your schedule.

I am also in the market for a nanny position, I am looking for the perfect family so I am sticking with the daycare until that is found. If you are looking for a nanny shoot me an email and I will get back to you..

thanks!
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10:18 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]town_bicycle
Looking for office space?
My company is pre leasing our new office building for this spring. We have 7 floors of creative, flex-space available at the Olympic Mills Commerce Center on 107 SE Washington. Some of you may be familiar with some of our other buildings, the Eastbank Commerce Center, home of Clark Lewis restaurant and across the street is our Water Avenue Commerce Center. This will be a Green Building, and will have tons of cool amenities like indoor bicycle storage, locker rooms and a green roof.

( Click here for more info and pictures )
Please send all inquires to leasing@eastbank1.com

current state: bouncy
current tunes: Head Automatica
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10:42 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]notsorryzine
Portland, OR: Calling all Women Zinesters!!!
Please Re-post!

The Portland International Women's Day Conference (piwd.org) will be taking place on March 4, 2007 at Smith Ballroom on the PSU campus. We are doing a zine room as part of the art section of the conference and we are looking for women zinesters who would like to read and sell their zines. It's super low key, you wouldn't have to stay all day and one piece is fine (though, more is encouraged!) We are looking for 10 to 12 readers who want to be a part of this fun event.

Please e-mail jenny@notsorry.org, for more info or to reserve your spot!

XOJenny
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11:34 am February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]wj
The company I'm working for is hiring a webmaster (preferably with some good techy skills)

http://www.timbercon.com/Careers/Web-Master.html

Check it out if you're in the market!
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02:14 pm February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]meisterdorf
Model Railroading is fun

Come and see for yourself.  The Worlds Greatest Hobby on tour show comes to the expo center this weekend.

http://www.wghshow.com/
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03:19 pm February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]krazyfelioness
Anyone know where I can find crystals for a friend, that aren't over priced?
Oh all-knowing DP's...

A friend is really into healing crystals and semi precious stones. Do any of you have suggestions where to purchase a relatively large sized stone/crystal for a good price?

I checked out the Body, mind, spirit Expo a year ago and saw a booth that had really good prices... but I didn't know any one with the interest at the time. Now I wish I could recall what business it was. (though I need it by tomorrow, so internet is out of the question at this point).

Any and all suggestions would be most appreciated.

I know about New Renaissance, The Fossil Cartel, and Healing Waters & Sacred Spaces.

Also, being this is Portland, they might run a lot higher than I'm used to, but I remember when I was in Geology back in La Grande, I saw stones and minerals for far, far less.

current place: Downtown
current state: determined
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04:42 pm February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]vampireborg
Best random encounter EVER.
I SAW RALPH NADER IN THE HAWTHORNE POWELLS NO MORE THAN AN HOUR AGO.

I was buying a video game guide and the lady was making shushing motions at me? And then she grabs my arm and says to STAND HERE, Ralph Nader will be here in like, two minutes cos he's signing books for us!

Just thought I'd share. :D
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05:19 pm February 13th, 2007(link)
[info]damnportlanders
[info]rio_keshi
scarfs?
i have an overload of handknitted scarfs, and i really need money :( taxes are no good this year, and i need to help my parents.

would anyone be interested in some of them, or know anyone that would like a handknitted scarf? or possibally know of a good place that would sell them for me? i was selling some at the 3rd girl, but they closed...

any suggestions, sales, or advice will be very appreciated :)

examples of my work: http://antishift.org/browse.php?disp=archive&archive_id=593