Luke: You drugged her.
House: Actually, I didn’t. I’ve taken her off all medications.
Luke: Your guy, Foreman, gave her Haldol.
House: We needed blood for some tests. I assume that was the only way to get it.
Luke: He knocked her out.
House: Look – I have a cane, and I know how to use it.
Luke: I hired you. You work for me.
House: OK, can I go now? Boss?

1x06 The Socratic Method

Cuddy: And you’re the only one who put this together because…?
House: Because I’m the only one who looked at both kids. I want them isolated; I want the maternity ward shut down.
Cuddy: Because you’re better at reading an x-ray than a radiologist.
House: Radiologists always over-read babies’ x-rays, especially if they’re asked to rule out a pathology. He read into it what he wanted.
Cuddy: Which is exactly what you’re doing. You’re finding a cluster because you think it’s interesting to find a cluster. Two… plain old sick babies would bore you.
House: See, this is why I don’t waste money on shrinks, ‘cause you give me all these really great insights for free.

1x04 Maternity

Wilson: What you’re thinking is, you’re going to save him, be a hero, and win her back. It’s always impressive, that level of twisted narcissism.
House: She’s married. Big clue I lost the game.
Wilson: You can’t be within fifty feet of Stacy Warner.
House: I thought she wanted me to treat him.
Wilson: Treat the husband. Stay away from the wife.
House: But what if they get close to each other? What do I do then?
Wilson: Hey, you have to treat this like a regular case. (House gets into the elevator.) Be yourself: cold, uncaring, distant.
House: Please, don’t put me on a pedestal.

1x22 Honeymoon

Chase: Why wait to treat the Hep-C? If I’m right, Joey gets better that much faster.
House: Right. Then he gets to testify, and you get a gold star.
Chase: Then what’s the downside? Or is that the downside.
House: Do I have a reason for not wanting you to get any stars?

1x18 Mob Rules


Mod Stuff
Hey guys, sorry this comm hasn't been too active lately. I started a couple of new projects, got busy during the holidays, you know the drill. Anyway, I'll try to do better in the new year. :) Welcome to all the new members. I hope you stick around and participate!!

/Mod Stuff

House: Nothing?
Cameron: Nothing.
Chase: Negative for drugs. ANA was negative, gallium scan was clear-
House: Yeah. I got that from the nothing.

1x11 Detox

Wilson: Special board meeting today, only one item on the agenda: you.
House: Well, enjoy the bagels. I'm untouchable.
Wilson: Huh. Right.
House: Any vote to revoke my tenure has to be unanimous. I've got you and maybe even Cuddy.
Wilson: Oh, well that settles it. Mr. Ruthless Corporate Raider will be stymied, go home, curl up on the floor of his shower and weep.
House: What can he do? I've got a contract.
Wilson: Does it say how much your team gets paid? Where your parking space is? If your car should be filled with horse manure? Vogler's smart; he's got some plan to get you.
House: Does it involve candy? Because I'm a sucker for chocolates.

1x18 Babies and Bathwater

(Cut to House entering pathology. Cameron is there. He stares at her through the glass, but she keeps concentrating at her microscope.)
House: Brrrr. Icy. Definitely think twice before correcting one of your mistakes again.
Cameron: (still at her microscope) Correct all you want. Of course, it’s a bit more productive if there’s an actual mistake.
House: Right, I always forget that part.
Cameron: I gave her the heparin, which means the necrosis is not a reaction to the warfarin, which is probably why she’s not responding to your treatment.
House: Yet. (pause) If you didn’t screw up, then what is it? You don’t have an answer.
Cameron: Yet.
House: When you come up with something, let me know. I’ll be in the clinic, warming up.

1x16 Heavy

House: Osteopenia messing his bones up. Hypogonadism. Impaired liver function, kidney function, and…we have managed to find the only professional athlete in the galaxy who is not on steroids. AND it’s not cancer. So, what’s killing him? (looks up as Foreman enters…late again.) Who shares my suspicions that the Yankees were somehow involved?

1x12 Sports Medicine

Cameron: Are there any stronger treatments for the organophosphates?
House: Oh, dammit you caught me. Went with the weak stuff, just trying to save a little money.
Foreman: Actually, one of my professors at Columbia developed an experimental treatment for the army.
Cameron: What’s the success rate?
Foreman: They're targeting. There's a different hydrolase treatment for each poison. We need to know if Matt got hit with orthene or malathion-
Chase: What’s the success rate?
House: Excellent, I’m sure. It’s the US army, “be all you can be”. The point is, what are the kid’s chances without it?
Chase: Minimal at best. The poison’s broken the blood-brain barrier.
House: I assume “minimal at best” is your stiff upper lip British way of saying “no chance in hell”?
Chase: I’m Australian.
House: You put the Queen on your money. You’re British.

1x08 Poison

Cameron: Dr. House. I just wanted to –
House: You’re welcome, again.
Cameron: I want you to know how much I –
House: Got it. You’re grateful. Apparently you seem to think it’ll mean a lot to me to know that.
Cameron: Do you know why people believe in God?
House: I thought you didn’t believe in God.
Cameron: I don’t.
House: Well, then you better be making a very good point.
Cameron: Do you think they pray to Him and praise Him because they want Him to know how great He is? God already knows that.
House: Are you comparing me to God? I mean, that’s great, but just so you know, I’ve never made a tree.
Cameron: (smiling) I thank you because it means something to me. To be grateful for what I receive.
House: You are the most naïve atheist I’ve ever met.

1x17 Role Model