House: You vegetarian?
Anica: No, why?
House: Because you might have something called Cushing’s syndrome, which basically means that –
Anica: My pituitary is overproducing ACTH which is causing my adrenal glands to push too much cortisol into my bloodstream.
House: What a coincidence. I’m a doctor, too.

2x09 Deception

House: Okay, I need you to roll over on your side, kiss your kneecaps.
Anica: Party time. I thought it only took one doctor to do this.
Cameron: I’m observing.
House: She’s here to make sure I don’t paralyze you.
Anica: You’ve done this before, right?
House: Successfully?
Cameron: He’s kidding. He’s an excellent doctor.
House: I’m gonna numb the area with some lidocaine, and then we’re off to the races! See what I did there? I used horse racing jargon to make the patient feel more comfortable. Okay, here we go. (He inserts the needle, Anica starts and gasps.)
Anica: Ow.
House: Felt like bone. Does that hurt?
Anica: A little bit. What are you doing? Owwww.
Cameron: Trying running her back a bit more.
House: You’re perfect just the way you are. Oops, that was all me.

2x09 Deception

House: Huh? What did you just say? “You were right, House, her pituitary tumor regrew, it is Cushing’s, uncanny how you do that….”
Foreman: Actually, it was Cameron’s idea.
House: Nope, Cameron had three ideas. I chose one to encourage, to nurture –
Foreman: Yeah, you’re all about the nurturing.
House: You need a hug?
Foreman: I don’t see any regrowth. You get her medical records faxed over?
House: “Work smart, not hard,” that’s my philosophy, boss.

2x09 Deception

Foreman: What do you expect me to do, House? Quit? Cry?
House: Actually, I expect you to act like what you are, my employee, my subordinate, my bitch.
Foreman: Well, since you asked nicely…

2x09 Deception

Wilson: House assisting. That is funny. Too bad Foreman’s gonna die.


Cameron: How would you describe my leadership skills?
House: Nonexistent. Otherwise, excellent.
Cameron: There’s more to being a leader than being a jerk!
House: The world will never know.

2x09 Deception

House: It was a pretend “in charge”, formality to get past the suits in Legal.
Cuddy: Right, those licensing board folk love to play dress-up and pretend.
Foreman: Hey, no worries. I’ll let you keep your parking space.
House: You can have it. You’ll also need my handicap placard. (raises cane) Bend over.

2x09 Deception

I'm definitely going to be using this one...( he,he )

( I'm still right! )

Oh how he loves his beloved lap dog....
( Read more... )

( from last night )