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[19 Jul 2009|11:05am] |
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I just weeded out my friends list, I don't think there was anyone removed who actively interacts with me.
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| I can't stop listening to Sleep by the Dandy Warhols |
[19 Jul 2009|01:37am] |
...but that is better than being thirteen and not being able to stop listening to Asleep by the Smiths.
"Fiona, you look like a New York Jew. You should go to New York with the Jews. ... Where'd she get that nose, Jill?"
Ily 2, Grandma.
I just talked to my mother about my identity as a feminist and the abuse I experienced as a child and what effect that has on my life now and even almost sex and it feels like such a big deal. Opening gates. I've had to tiptoe around it all before. I'm not sure when I'll be able to tell her that I like girls sometimes and lost my virginity at fifteen and done scary drugs, but it's a step.
I have so much more going on in my life and in my head than I ever, ever post about in here. I never talk about my relationships with my friends, or my teachers, or my mentors, or the people I've dated. I never talk about my involvements in communities or movements or my feelings about them (and that's something I actually want to talk about). Really, I never talk about anything specific... ever. I've had a Livejournal for over five years and you still can't find me in the pixels. I'm not sure whether I care or not. Ho-hum. In the next few months I will probably start regularly making the zine I've had in my head for years, and I feel like that will either make me stop using Livejournal or use it very differently.
Gahhh, I am so excited to finally make it. I need to pick a name. I keep changing my mind just when I think I've decided.
by Zoe G.
( These photos from Anna's birthday give me the warm fuzzies )
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[19 Jul 2009|12:19am] |
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Really happy to have won that iTunes gift card!
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| The coninuing edufication... |
[19 Jul 2009|01:41pm] |
 Getting organised to finally finish off this degree I've been doing since 2002. I've just got one elective and a project to do. I know what elective I want. The first step is to clean out my email since it filled up while I was taking a leave of absence. Most of the messages are the system saying "Hey, your inbox is about to fill up!" and "Hey, your inbox is full!". Deleting all those messages is a pain in the proverbial because there's no way to select all messages There are 25 per page, so you have to click checkboxes next to 25 messages, then click delete, then move on to the next page... repeat for about 20 pages.
Then to wait for the system to scan and see that my email is now empty and give me permission to use the rest of the university computer systems again. After that I'll be able to enroll, then tell my employer when classes are.
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[18 Jul 2009|09:05pm] |
Thoughts upon working on the moving stuff:
How could I possibly have needed so many printed-out, marked up drafts of my first chapter? Clearly I had way too much time to write it.
Wow, an organic chemistry exam. Oh, I didn't do so good on that one. I wonder why? Oh look, exam date, I believe that was the midterm postponed from September 12, 2001.
Why do I still have neurogenesis papers? That means I moved them three times.
Freecycle EXPLODED since the last time I was on there in 2007. Which is good, I suppose. Please let my list of stuff go quickly.
I have a tremendous mess now. So much for cleaning my room. Packing some stuff early is good, but where the heck are the boxes going to go?
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| Project 365: Day 2. |
[18 Jul 2009|08:47pm] |
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Rat playtime:
The girls were going crazy kicking the crap out of each other today in their cage so I let them run around on the couch. They're too cute.
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| we're back |
[18 Jul 2009|08:54pm] |
i am scratched, bruised, blistered, sore, and absolutely exalted. nothing went according to plan, and the trip was everything we could have hoped it would be, all at once. i am more in love with Alan than i was when we started, too. (if you've been out of the loop, alan and i just got back today from a five-day backpacking trek across the pecos wilderness for our honeymoon).
real update later. this is just to let everybody know we are safe and well and on our way home from santa fe tonight.
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[18 Jul 2009|09:17pm] |
I think my spirit wandered away from me; I have these exceptionally strong recent memories of going to the cottage, but i haven't been there since last year. In fact, if my spirit is in the mood, I'd like it to wander back to university and take some courses, so I can feel productive.
in FACT, I'd like to sign up for that math course, it's a grade twelve equivalent, probably a first year course or something. I never had to take grade 12 math to graduate, but it was always something I've wanted to do regardless. Hm, I say. Hm hm hm.
I also am craving something involving roasted garlic. I literally don't feel like eating at all today unless it's a high quality meal, but i can't think of any place except wendy's to get a decent meal. I have GOT to learn how to cook properly. Adding vegetables to packaged meals isn't cooking. And is really rather boring. My food bores me. Blah. I think I've had an aversion to shopping for food lately. I just realized I left a bunch of food and things in my work locker that I won't see until I go back to work next monday. I should probably grab that stuff.
I wish tims made good food, I want to walk there right now or some tea. Which, I think I will do. Dang I wish they had better sandwiches. or real food at all.
I had a hilariously fun time last night, doing pretty much the stupidest things we could think of. Shan, Shane and I went for a walk, a random adventure punctuated by 8 coolers and six beers of course. We started meandering from my house, took back lanes down to I'm guessing the seine river, somewhere out at a park. We all bonded by peeing at the same time at least 3 or 4 times the entire night. not too close of course =p I love when I meet people who can enjoy doing retarded things. Anyway our fun included making fun of shannon, a childhood game consisting of throw-a-big-handful-of-playground-pebbles-in-the-air-at-the-same-time-then-run-away. Shane was funny when he said "I think I threw the gravel in the direction I ended up running". also we threw the pebbles on the play structure and made a song out of the noises it made hitting the metal bars. we ran away from people who pulled into the park to do naughty things. the precipitation in the air was super high and our "picnic baskets" got all wonked out which made me laugh a lot for some reason. we also all had ugly hair upon the end of our excursion, and I recall us admiring a field of dill for a rather long time, I think because of the smell.
Any h'way, was fun. I was really tired when I got to work but I ended up having lots of fun making paperclip chains with tayler - then jenn our boss, was like "so I think my friend is going to ask how your chains were coming along, I told her you guys were working hard at making jump ropes" and tayler and I were like, "ohhhh!" and jenn just laughed. Which meant we had to try it out, attempting to jump rope in the studio with them. my lasso was far less impressive than my skipping rope.
I DO actually work there, I did about four studio appointments and a bunch of passports. Not a very busy day mind you, but tons of fun.
I also think I'm becoming a bit of a shopaholic. I bought a $50 pair of shoes JUST for work, because I have to take my shoes off a lot so I can walk on the backdrops. And these are super neat, and slipper shaped, which is actually against the dress code but i don't care. They have buckles! super cute ones! I'm never going to be able to buy a $3000 camera at this rate! (I have the money in savings but that's not for a camera)
I just remembered, I did something so dumb (but funny!) at work today. I wear a lanyard that used to have my work tag, but now just has a key on it for the studio. it has this clip on it that i can't take off, and that clip caught under the lip of the lid of my cup of tea and my tea fell onto the floor in the lunchroom, the lid popped off and tea went everwhere, including on my shoe. Luckily julie from work was kind enough to help me clean it up. But on the bright side the tea was free. ;) That stupid clip has gotten caught under the table and tried choking me numerous times. I should really stop using it.
oh one last thing: saw Walking with Dinosaurs with Shan and ed on Thurs! My second time. Just as good. I have videos of almost the whole thing. We then went to Diana's Pizza (world champ at gourmet pizza) and then hung out til about 1:30 at my house. It was lots of fun!
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| Housemate Lost and Housemate Found |
[18 Jul 2009|06:09pm] |
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I think I've already found someone to live here. His name is Joe. I was thinking I'd rather have a woman move in...but that was before Joe expressed interest. Yeay! An honorable and reliable housemate! And he is the perfect housemate: has two jobs and is gone most of the time. We plan a trial: he will stay here two months, and we will see if we can stand to live together. If after two months either of us is not happy with the agreement, he will move out. The intention is for our friendship to survive. He is coming on Tuesday to check out the place. I will empty the master bedroom & closet by then.
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| Can't anything be done just for fun? |
[18 Jul 2009|08:10pm] |
Subtitle: My professional career as a model, actress and olympic athlete.
Do I start at the end or at the beginning? Well, there are three stories involved and since they all end in the same place, I'll start at the end because you'll know what it is by the end of the first story anyways.
THE END - unless an activity was sure to make me rich or famous or both, my mom thought there was no point in persuing it.
It's one of those things that was never outright said, but now as an adult, it's apparent based on the way things worked out. These three stories all take place at around the same time in my life. I'd say grades 3 and 4.
My mom would read the classifieds and see ads for workshops for acting and modeling, promising a lucrative career (I also know that she was all into pyramid schemes too but those had nothing to do with me). I don't know if she ever went to more of these workshops but I do remember her taking me to a couple. It was a big event. We took the subway downtown tot he Eaton Centre and went up into the office spaces.
The first one was for acting. I was the only kid there (my parents didn't understand the concept of not bringing kids anywhere they went - except vacations - they NEVER brought me on their vacations) and we were in a dark room watching a big tv with different commercials and a man would explain the most salient points about becoming a financially successful commercial actor. One point I remember him saying is that a voice over actor gets paid more than an on-screen actor. At the end of the 'workshop' the man told my mom that they had a group just for kids that she should send me to. It wasn't running just then but he gave her a script for me to memorize and told her to bring me back.
I was so nervous! I felt like I had to do a great job or else I wouldn't make the cut (although I'm sure it was no audition or anything but I really felt like it was at the time) I was working very hard at practicing and being how I thought I would need to be for this commercial. My sister caught wind of this and was totally shocked. It was a tampon commercial. Remember when I said I was in grade 3 or 4 when this happened?
I don't know what went on between my mother and my sister but I do know that I never went back to that workshop.
Not too long later, we took another special subway trip to the Eaton Centre. This time, it was to a 'modeling agency'. We went in and my mom spoke to the lady at reception. I walked up and down an elevated catwalk a couple of times, making sure to make a nice turn and to show off my pockets. The woman reacted positively and then started talking to my mom about how much it would cost for head shots etc.
Never went back.
These two events don't really bother me because I never really cared about either of them. The next one made me resentful for quite some time.
My parents signed me up for figure skating lessons at Seneca college. I really enjoyed it a lot. I wasn't the best in my class but even at that young age I took a lot of pride in the progress I was making. The pinnacle for me was when the students of my class got to preform in a professional skating show starring Kurt Browning.
We were all just little kids so I'm sure it was for comic relief between other big important parts but we practiced what we had to do for what seemed like months (was probably two classes). We went to the arena one night and I was put into a black and gold costume and my face was painted white in a very stereotypical ancient chinese fashion. I think I was even wearing a wig but I don't remember for sure. We were all scooted out on the ice where we quickly skated around our pre-determined route and felt like superstars. Then we went up into the stands to watch the rest of the show.
When my run of classes was over my mom came to me with some news. Apparently, my instructors thought I had lots of promise (probably all the kids in class had just as much really) and suggested that I change schools to a skate intensive school. I would skate before school, partway through the day and after school. I really wasn't interested in leaving schools and all the people i knew for an unfamiliar situation (I hated change, I hated going places where I didn't know what to expect).
I said no, and I never had another skating lesson again.
Why did it have to be all or nothing? Why couldn't I just stay at my little French Catholic school and still go to skating lessons once a week? What is wrong with that? Why couldn't I just ENJOY something without having to strive for Olympic gold?
On this day:
In 2008 - I write a love letter to the internet
In 2007 - cleaning list
In 2006 - CBC swag
In 2005 - mmm coconut
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[18 Jul 2009|02:39pm] |
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Aug 16th! 3pm! Ampitheatre at Alaska Land! Followed by pot luck reception also at Ak Land. Everyone invited! :D
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| Exercising for the Brain |
[18 Jul 2009|03:35pm] |
Recommended amounts of exercise for good brain health is 8 calories per lb of body weight per week.
Just saying. Also, vary intensity for optimal benefit.
Have fun out there!
Source: Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by John J. Ratey, MD
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[18 Jul 2009|05:09pm] |
My tooth still hurts. Just a little. Mostly it's the rest of that side of my mouth that hurts, from the big honkin' needle and the various hardware she had propped in there.
I was in the chair for almost 3 hours on Thursday. Apparently the roots of my tooth are a dark and serpentine maze, and fork off in unexpected ways that meant twice as much digging and nerve-harvesting. The computer that would have showed a picture of the xray was busted, the little TV that was supposed to show her the inside of the root was busted, the xray film had several problems (and so we wound up needing about a half dozen xrays instead of just one), and when she finally did manage to force her way into the second fork of the root, we discovered that the novocaine had not, in fact, found its way in there, either -- she nearly had to peel me off the ceiling.
I spent the rest of Thursday and most of Friday curled up on the glider or the futon, unable to focus on anything besides the overwhelming ache. Today I'm digging myself out -- catching up on housework, email, life. Trying to figure out what needs to get done before I leave on Wednesday morning (!!!!!!!), what I need to pack for me, what I need to pack for Sarah, what other details need to be managed...
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[18 Jul 2009|08:20pm] |
I made two to-do lists. I don't have the ability to remember what needs to be done from day to day so I think it will help to have everything on paper in front of me. For example, my car registration sticker: expired in February. I have the new sticker but it just never occurs to me to put the new one on. (Here's where I can blame law enforcement. Shouldn't I have totally been stopped and ticketed for this?) (also, thank you, law enforcement, for not doing that) So, that's on the list. I have a Get Done In Two Weeks list and a Get Done By End of August list. And kind of a daily list with things like 'drink more water', etc.
Also putting off getting another part-time job. I need one. I could find a better paying full-time gig but I like my job and they've been more than understanding with various issues. So I'm going to eke through the end of this month, take a week of vacation, sort things out then.
and now for the terrible news, I can't tolerate coffee anymore! Started off it just didn't sound appealing. Odd since I typically had a 3-4 cup per day habit. So I switched to tea. Then iced tea this summer. A few nights ago I had a cup of coffee and ended up with sweat-inducing stomach cramps. My body is a weird machine these days. Almost as crazy as my mom who told me she thought I might have a tumor on my pituitary gland because she watched an episode of Mystery Diagnosis that reminded her of me. I almost said I wish it WAS a tumor because then I'd have an answer to my problems but then I remembered the two coworkers who have been out with tumors and cancers the last few months and neither of those guys are having any fun.
I suppose I should appreciate the fact that I have a free Saturday and the temp. is only 90 (!) right now. laundry + birthday gift for the party I'm not going to. I usually send gifts to parties in lieu of attendance.
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