The Dablings

Jacquelina Dabling called this morning - she was worried after Preston told her and Edwina that he'd heard from Sara-Anna Hanna that Webster got fired from Speakeasy. After I finished up working on the rough sketch of the plans for the new Dabling estate gardens, which will feature a hedge maze and a small cemetery, which Iphigenia calls 'the deceased Dabling dumping ground,' I called Dapirate and he said that this morning Jason@Speakeasy (our own pugfantus) fired Webster, then promoted him, then cut him to half-time, then changed his job title but not his duties, then gave him two extra vacation days a year, then gave him a company car, then fired him again, then demoted him and gave him a nine percent increase in salary, his own office, and a secretary, then docked his pay for coming in late, then gave him a cost-of-living increase in his wages and raised his share of the cost of his health insurance by thirty percent, then bought him lunch. Jacquelina will be so relieved. I think.

[Sep. 13th, 2007|01:21 am]

http://www.allafricanet.com/index.php?do=/public/user/name_dablings/

Check it out, people.
I found the long-lost Dabling son! Estella will be ecstatic, and Constantina will be constantly appalled. You all know the story of how Iphigene had this young man banished to Africa after he was found to have forged Preston's name to a Penthouse subscription.

Of course, this was eleven years ago. Who knows if anyone even remembers him any longer. I may not tell the Dablings about finding this fellow just yet. Or I might tell only Sara-Anna Hanna.

[Sep. 11th, 2007|01:57 pm]

So at lunch yesterday, Preston threatened to disinherit Priscilla because she used Splenda in the lemonade instead of honey. Before long, their arguing had triggered a disturbing brouhaha, with Max accusing Iphigenia of trying to steal Mary Louise's baby after she gives birth so that she can dress it up in a giant vitamin pill costume; Jazameka smacking Trixina with her prosthetic legs and calling Trixina "an overloaded waffle with no fruit on top"; Sara-Anna Hanna announcing that she'd opened Maria Lena's mail and found out that Maria Lena and Estella are trying to steal the Dabling Companies from Preston, which led to Isabella telling everyone that *she* owns the Dabling Companies and Preston just runs it, which caused Preston to faint and Alma to cackle with obnoxious glee, and Lucy slipped into a short but poignant coma.

I was sort of glad to leave. It was exhausting.

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*cough*

[Aug. 15th, 2007|04:23 am]

Constantina called me yesterday morning: it seems that a small statue of Demeter flew off one of the shelves in the sitting room and whacked her in the head. She had to spend the entire afternoon with her feet up, being administered to by Preston's dentist (the one who owns the cabin on Whidbey Island), who was the only medical professional who would agree to come out to the estate. Anyway, the thing that shocked Constantina so much was that she was on the other side of the room from the statue at the time it happened! Now she thinks that one of her cousins might be

telepathic
insanely jealous of her, probably because she won the Marling Quilting Bee again this year
willing to actually go so far as to hurt her
either ironically using Demeter to do it, to mock Constantina's childlessness, or not

She asked me to investigate. But how can I do that? And how do I sit at lunch across from Priscilla, or Marjorie, or Sara-Anna Hanna, or any of the others, and believe that any of them would intentionally try to harm Constantina?

[Aug. 8th, 2007|03:30 pm]

sporkgirl

Angelique and Veronica took pity on me this afternoon, what with all my drama going on, and all the fighting going on at the Dabling Estate.

We've decided to get out of dodge and take a roadtrip. Preston also asked Veronica to pick up tile samples for the garden shed, he's bound and determined to have it rebuilt, even though no one thinks it's a good idea. The thought of it being rebuilt has sent Max into a psych ward. It's all just for attention though.

He wants very specific tiles from a small sweat factory near Los Angeles. He refuses to mail order them, so we have to drive down there to pick them up. It'll be another Dabling adventure where they drag me along!

We might get drunk and talk to truckers. They love doing that!

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[Aug. 8th, 2007|01:34 am]

Preston told me tonight that he has an imaginary son named Victor. Victor was born in 1965, though he is only eighteen now. Preston wants Victor to go to college, preferably at Princeton or Syracuse U, but Victor either wants to go into the army or move to Mexico and lie on the beach, smoking grass. Preston is concerned, worried about Victor.

[Aug. 7th, 2007|03:11 pm]

Leah Marie had breakfast this morning to discuss the estate's condition. She's concerned that no one has taken any interest in rebuilding the garden shed by the servant's pool, which burned down last month (possibly due to a heated sexual assignation between Max and an adult woman). She complained that everyone's attention is focussed on Mary Louise's pregnancy and Preston's new defibrillator. I told her I would see if Lucy would be interested in rebuilding the garden shed by the servant's pool as a tiny prison and perhaps it could be rented out to the state for small prison groups (of three or so).

[Aug. 7th, 2007|03:00 am]

I overheard Max tell Estella during luncheon the other day that he had originated the slogan "Skateboarding is not a Crime." I find this difficult to believe, since Max is fourteen, and the first time I heard that catchphrase was in the late 1980's.

[Aug. 6th, 2007|03:18 pm]

I found out from Cecelia that it's true, Iphigene doesn't like being rich. She thinks it's a horrific waste of money. She yearns to be back on the pampas, raising cattle and sewing her family's clothing by hand.

None of the other Dablings share her sentiments in this matter.