can i help you with something?

Same crap different day...

2009-07-15T23:43:39Z

First off, no word yet from creepy stalker guy (from my last post) knock on wood... let's hope he just disappears.

Okay, a couple of small things that just keep happening and it's freaking annoying.

First, don't get pissed off at me when I tell you that the item you saw in the ad is not in my store. I know it's frustrating, I really do. But, it says on each and every ad that some items may NOT be available in every store. There are over 1000 stores in the US, we all get shipments at different times, and we don't all get the same stuff. And that nifty little announcement that plays every ten minutes that you IGNORE every ten minutes, tells you that if we don't have it in the store, you can order it online... FOR THE SAME PRICE. No shipping. For serious.

Next, when you come to me and ask me a question, don't get all bent out of shape about my answer, and fortheloveofgod don't argue with me. If you think you know everything, don't ask me questions in the first place. It would save us both some time and frustration.

Today, I was scheduled to rearrange the shoe dept. Not my dept. I kind of like being in Children's World, I'm comfortable there. So, since I was in shoes all day, on came the 20,000 questions about shoes. Okay, whatever. I can handle questions, I've been at the store long enough that I know at least a little about every dept. But some people are just dumb. This lady comes up to me with a seemingly normal question. "Do you have these shoes in a size 8?" I take the box, go check the computer before hunting through the shoe stockroom which I'm not all too familiar with, and just like I thought... we don't have any in stock. So I do what now comes naturally to me, check other stores. Store down the road has 3 pairs. Sweet. So I go tell her this. She stares blankly at me. I say again, "We don't have any here in a size 8. But the store down the road has 3 pairs.." then she says, "But you don't have any in an 8?" Then it's a bit of a blank stare from ME. Then I say, "No. I don't have any. But the other store does." Her, "Oh, I was just there. Hahaha" and walks off. 20 minutes later she brings the same shoes she was just asking about, but in a different color over to me (first ones were pink and brown, these ones were light brown and dark brown) and asks me, "Are these men's shoes? Or women's?" Me (fighting back the look of 'are you kidding?') "They're women's shoes.. *smile* Her, "Ohhhhhhkay..." like she's unsure of my answer. Oh. My. God. Just pay attention please. You'll feel so much smarter, I promise.

Well, that's it for now. Today really wasn't all that bad, I was just ready for it to be over.

Amusing customer moment

2009-07-15T23:03:25Z

[Background - according to a new ruling from the powers that be, apparently I'm not officially allowed to say where I work in any media including Facebook or blogs. Therefore all I'm going to say is I handle benefit claims in the UK. - which will make it manifestly obvious where I work to anyone in the UK, but never mind.]

Not a *major* suck, but it made me laugh...

A chap comes on the 'phone wanting to make a new claim to benefit, because the old one has been stopped. He's the type that just carries on talking and talking and won't let me get a word in edgeways.

After ranting irritably at some length, he comes out with the immortal line:

"Well, I don't know why they had to stop my benefit - it's not *my* fault I went to prison."

Boo-hoo...

ETA:
However, honourable anti-suck mention of the day goes to the lady who was so pleased with the way I helped her, she demanded to speak to my manager to praise me. Anti-complaints are somewhat confusing, but i'm not going to complain :)

customerssuck @ 2009-07-15T17:54:00

2009-07-15T22:03:53Z

So this is just a general thing about my new job that really really aggravates me. When I am talking to you, trying to help fix your cell the phone or explain to you what's going on with your account, shut the fuck up. Seriously. Just shut up and stop interrupting me. I promise I will do everything that I can to help you. But I can't go anything if you don't shut up and let me explain. And guess what? When you go batshit crazy on me before I can explain anything to you and request a sup you are essentially wasting your time. You scream at me for what? 5 mins about something I could solve but no....I must be unable to do anything in your world I guess. And dealers...Some of you I love. Seriously you are nice. But others, stop being sarcastic and bitchy. Most times when you call me, I have to back track and fix some mistake that was originally made in your store.

Is it a full moon or something this week?

2009-07-15T17:32:34Z

Great news everyone, this week was ASSHOLE WEEK at Staples!

Once upon a time a lady sent in her boyfriend to get her a notary stamp. He ordered her a round stamp, but the state of Illinois requires a rectangular one. This mistake delayed her stamp's arrival by two days. She called the store three times this week bitching about where her stamp is (it was, in fact in transit). When yelling at employees over the phone did not magically make her stamp appear, she decided to come in and attempt to physically intimidate them.

As she began her intense diatribe regarding the competency of my entire copy center, nay, my entire store, I longed to inform her that, yes, I AM personally withholding her notary stamp from her on purpose because it gives me pleasure to cause her such anguish. I also debated offering to personally hunt down the exact UPS truck that her stamp is on and hand deliver it to her, since her needs clearly are more urgent than anything else I might be doing in the store that day, but this seemed just a little bit too sarcastic to actually say. I ended up giving her the tracking number and telling her that the second she tracks it and it says delivered, she can come pick it up. She turned on her stiletto heels and left with her hoop earrings swinging in a huff.

...

Tuesday was busy. Shortly after Notary Stamp Harlot left, one of my least favorite customers came in. Let's call him Lecherous Cop.

List of decency crimes Lecherous Cop has committed to date:
-Informing me that I must have a "real sexy side" due to the color of my fingernail polish.
-When asking him the name of the file that he needs printed, he tells me, "There's a folder marked personal. Don't look in there because there are naked pictures of me. Well, YOU can look in there, if you want to." He proceeded to follow this with a disgusting leer.
-Asking female employees for their phone numbers and email addresses.

Added to that list on Tuesday:
-Following my female coworker all over the store in a creepy manner.
-"Hey, it's me! Do you remember me? I'm your favorite customer!" and then not leaving for more than forty minutes, all the while hanging around asking inane questions and preventing me from helping other people.
-Having a mullet. Yes, this is a decency crime.

...

This one happened to my manager just this morning.

An older black lady with a cane comes in. Let's call her Batshit Crazy. She had been in yesterday, and was a little bit mean to one of the hispanic workers, but it was nothing horrendous.

However, she had an absolute bee in her bonnet about something today. My manager was the only person watching the front and Batshit Crazy says she can't find the five subject notebooks. My manager tells her the various locations of all the five subject notebooks throughout the store, and apologizes for not being able to leave the front and walk her to all the places. Batshit Crazy begins to rant about how she is disabled, and can't go walking all over the store, but then walks off angrily. Manager shrugs it off, and continues to ring out the other customers who are waiting in line.

When they have cleared out, Batshit Crazy comes up to the front and throws the notebooks at my manager. She accuses her of lying, calls her all sorts of bitches (Fucking Bitch, Puerto Rican Bitch, Fat Bitch), screams and hollers, swings her cane at my manager and generally makes a detestable scene. She calls my manager racist and says that my manager just jumped to help a white lady who walked in, but Batshit Crazy had to go find one of the black employees to help her. Manager tells her that she has to leave, but she won't, so the cops get called. They banned her from the store and Batshit Crazy is like "FUCK THAT I'M NEVER COMING BACK HERE ANYWAY! I'VE WORKED FOR THE BOARD OF EDUCATION FOR 27 YEARS!"

1. I feel sorry for any child who ever encountered you while you worked for the Board of Education. Especially if they were hispanic.
2. My boss is of Mexican heritage, not Puerto Rican, and regardless she was born in this country JUST LIKE YOU.
3. The ones who say they will never come back ALWAYS DO COME BACK.

(no subject)

2009-07-14T20:11:16Z

Why in the world would you ever think it's OK to leave your purse - full of IDs, money, personal items - alone in the cab with a complete stranger (the driver)? And then you're SURPRISED when something turns up missing? SHOCK and HORROR! My goodness, what is the world coming to?

But seriously, I highly doubt the driver stole your money order - especially the one specifically addressed to you. Since you didn't discover the missing order until you got home I doubt it was even in your purse when you left. It's probably on a counter somewhere, hiding under today's paper or something. You fail.

Customer fucked up credit card fucked my register

2009-07-14T16:02:11Z

Dear Customer with the Fucked up Credit Card, If you knew you credit card didn't work at our store last week, then why the hell did you try it again the next week without taking the time during that previous week to fix it? Do you realize how fucking annoying it is to have someone come in with a broken credit card and have it fuck up our machines? ESPECIALLY with a half an hour left before closing?

All I did was swipe the damn thing and it started acting up on me. First made a weird noise, then started beeping like mad continuously then when you pushed a "1" it gave you a three and when you tried to clear or hit backspace it gave a whole bunch of numbers instead of clearing it, and opening and moving around was pointless since it froze lots of times, eventually they had to put me on a new register for the last 30 min and the manager had to do some serious register hacking.

(I can see that this may not be a real suck, but shouldn't she have tried and gotten it fixed, or gotten a new card? Or brought a new one with her?).

Can I honestly customerssuck myself?

2009-07-14T15:12:22Z

At first, I complained about it being bad service, but I think I was just being a bitchy, moody pregnant wench.

I had a doctor's appointment one day. I had been waiting for 55 minutes before they called my name, which I was sort of annoyed about because I'd just gotten off work... and definitely did not factor into the equation that my doctor was probably helping someone else with a serious problem instead of just a check up, or that they had emergency walk-ins, etc. I never complained to the staff or anything, just sat quietly.

When I saw my doctor, I gave her a form to fill out for work which states that I cannot lift a certain amount of lbs since I was 5 months pregnant - and up to my prior visit, I was lifting 60+ lbs. I gave her the paper and she said "oh, we don't fill these out - our receptionists do." I didn't mind, because it was literally 5 questions long. This was around 9 or 10 am.

After the doctor check up was over, I walked to the desk to schedule my next appointment. I gave the receptionist my paper and she said "Thanks, we'll call you up when it's done." Read those words VERY carefully. I went and sat down almost right in front of her, on the opposite side of the room. It was not busy at the desk. There were 3 different receptionists, and they only welcomed in new patients who were coming in. I waited 30 minutes before I got up and asked, "Excuse me, when is that form going to be filled out?" politely. She got a bitchy attitude and said "Uhhh... What? You don't get that today... You come and pick them up." I said "I was told to wait and that I'd be called when it's done." She said "Who did you speak with? I spoke with you, and I never said that."

I was so annoyed and aggravated, so I just blurted out, "What the hell am I supposed to say to my boss tonight when I go to work? My doctor and her receptionists failed to fill out a FIVE QUESTION form, meanwhile, sure, I'll do whatever you want because this job sucks and without this form my condition is non-existent?!" She said, "We'll call you on the phone when it's finished" and turned around.

I realize that I was being hasty and irrational and nasty, but WTF. "Thanks, we'll call you up when it's done." Five fucking questions!!!
"Patient name:
Patient being seen for:
Doctor:
Restrictions for work:
Signature:"

W.T.F. Anyway, eventually, I realized they must've been really busy, or had to go through many different things to fill out that sad little sheet of paper. Regardless, it is my own screw up for misunderstanding "We'll call you up when it's done." I haven't been in/out of dr's offices much, so I took it as - "we'll call your name when this is done," and not "we'll call you on the phone and you can come drive back down here to pick it up." ack.

General question: can you admit to a time when you were also a sucky customer? :F

Customer Suck Glossary

2009-07-13T17:08:19Z

I just thought I'd share this compendium of customer suck with the group. Feel free to add to it.

http://customersucktionary.wikia.com

3 Month Prescription!!

2009-07-13T01:47:02Z

It just boggled my mind... I had to share.

Recap: Cashier at a pharmacy/corner store

M: Me
C: Customer

C has already come into the store once, but left with nothing. Just in and out again and I figure he must have forgotten why he came. He's a regular who is a bit... off... He talks to himself often as though there is another person beside him, but he's harmless. C comes back in, and this time stops at the counter.

M: Hello, how may I help you?
C: I want Canadian Classic King Size.
M: *gets his cigarettes*
C: *Seems unhappy*
M: That'll be $x.xx please.
C: *gives money*
M: * gives change* Thank you, have a nice day :)
C: *frowns* You know, I talked to Dr. InsertNameHere and Dr. IfYouCan'tGuessIForgotTheNames and BOTH said they would write me a 3 month Prescription, so why hasn't it come through yet?
M: Oh? Did you talk to our Pharmacist? Perhaps they faxed the prescription through? If not, perhaps you may need to wait until Monday? Sometimes they forget to fax them, and most are not open during the weekend, especially Sundays...
C: I should have a 3 month prescription now though!! They said they would give me a three month prescription for cigarettes! You should talk to *Owner (who also is a pharmacist, but not on today)!! I need my prescription!! *walks away*
M: O.o Wait... What?!

"Hello we're MURDERERS!!!....Twix, please."

2009-07-12T16:44:29Z

here are two little doodads from Eddie Izzard that i love, because they somehow make the insanity of retail funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKLuLkLw20Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuM2H6uFG2M&feature=related

...and on days when our jobs are really death, we can all be thankful that we don't work at the Death Star Canteen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw

customerssuck @ 2009-07-12T12:23:00

2009-07-12T11:23:27Z

Recap: Petrol station slave in busy motorway services

Having just completed a marathon 'back to back' (two 8 hour shifts with 6 hours sleep inbetween except I didn't sleep) I can now cleanse myself of the suckage via rant.

Mr Hungry. Came into shop eating tuna straight out of a can that was cooked but not hot, it wasn't dressed with mayo, nor was it mixed with sweetcorn. It was infact simply plain cooked tuna from a can. However it was extremely odorous and the customer was eating it noisily; these facts leading to the actual 'suck'. Was also chatting away on his mobile phone. Did not pause in either activity to pay for his fuel. Made the place stink of fish for the next half hour.

Zombie #1. When I ask you a question, a simple 'yes' or 'no' will suffice. A neutral "Mmmm" or grunt is not an answer.

Crackhead. Eyes as wide as saucepans he threw down half the shop in snacks, waited for me to scan every item. Then when I'd given him the total stated he had 'nowhere near that much money'. As I was cancelling the sale he asks where the cans of coke were and as I turned to point them out he walked out of the shop. Didn't see whether or not he got into a car.. sincerely hope he wasn't driving.

Zombie #2. Walked straight up to the till and plonked his grubby card into the machine. I asked him 3 times which pump he was paying for, he stared at me like I had 3 heads. On the 4th time of asking he heaves a great sigh and grumpily tells me a number. Continues sighing, tutting and shaking his head throughout the transaction then grumpily walks out. Am thinking perhaps he was trying to submit the answer via brainwaves.

Indecisive Dude. Asks for B&H cigarettes. I ask if he would like gold or silver. He states "gold". I run up his fuel and several other items he has and ask if he'd like a bag. He says no. As I tell him his total and pass over the cigarettes he frowns and says "no, B&H SILVER". I swap the cigarettes and he pays. I'm about to start serving the next customer when he snaps "well can I have a bag then please??".

Zombie #3. Conversation as follows:
Man: *inserts card into machine* number 12
Machine: ...
Me: Does your card have a chip sir?
Man: Yes. *tries again*
Machine: ...
Me: It definitely has a chip? Because if not it's no problem I can just...
Man: Yes of course it does!
Machine: *oblivious*
Me: *takes out card*
My inner monologue: nope. doesn't have a chip at all does it? and you've put it in backwards. moron.
Me: let's just try it another way, shall we sir?

Bonus one-liners:
Me: Which pump please?
Woman with far too much bling and not enough braincells: The car.. *points* with the petrol...

Why don't you sell bread?

Man passes at least 4 lit signs saying OPEN 24 HOURS. What time do you close?

Which cigarettes are better? [brand] or [brand]?
Erm.. I don't smoke and even if I did, surely it's a very personal preference? I don't give a crap which particular flavour you choose to give yourself cancer.

And finally, much love to my co-worker who after catching someone smoking on the forecourt shouted across the shop causing everyone to glare at him
"Excuse me sir, would you like to blow up?"

Creepy Stalker Dude

2009-07-12T08:22:44Z

It's been a while since I've had anything I felt was post-worthy... But I think this one is.

Back around Christmas time, this older man came in looking for an outfit for his grandson in WI. Anyway, I was asking him what kind of an outfit he was looking for, play, dress, etc.. and he was being sort of vague. I showed him where the play clothes were, and he said something to the effect of the stuff looking "too blue collar" K. Whatev. So I showed him the display of Chaps clothes. (kind of nicer clothes... sub brand of Ralph Lauren) He found a shirt he liked, then said he didn't want to purchase it just then because he was "waiting to hear back from Mr. Suchandsuch who is closing down a shop of his, and I offered to buy the whole lot of children's clothing for half of the ticket price..." I told him I could put the item on hold for him for 24 hours until he made up his mind. He followed me to customer service so I could get some info from him, and he placed a $5 bill on the counter and said, "Here's my down payment" to which the customer service girl and I both said, "Umm, you don't put anything down, we'll hold it for free." He was amazed by this but agreed. This is not the suck part, I assure you. Just giving you a little background info. So, days go buy, I hear nothing from said customer; so I figure he has A) picked up the shirt, or B) gotten his 'deal' from Mr. Suchandsuch. Nope, a few more days go buy and he calls. Asks if the shirt is still there. I say yes and offer to put it on hold for him again and he agrees. He comes into the store later that day, buys the shirt, flags me down in the aisle, hands me 50 cents (???) and kisses me on the cheek. Okay, getting weirder...

So, apparently he came back once or twice more, one of the times my coworker B helped him. She agreed that he was a bit odd, but wasn't alarmed by him. I sort of felt the same way. Until the other day. One of my friends texted me telling me to call her at the store. I did so, and she told me "This guy came in looking for you just a minute ago. He didn't remember your name but he described you..." I say, "okay... strange, but keep going.." She then says, "He asked me to give him your schedule for next week, to which I told him I could NOT do. So he told me to write down his phone number and give it to you, and that it's imperative you call him back. He said his name is Dudeface McGee and that you'd remember him." Of course I remember him. He's weird. Even more so now that he wants my schedule and for me to call him.

This really puts me in a bad situation... I can't call him to tell him to leave me alone and that he's acting creepy, because that could be portrayed as bad customer service. But I also feel uncomfortable going into work because I don't want to encounter him while I'm there. *sigh*

Well, that's my story. I like my job, just not when I have to deal with people like this dude. :(

customerssuck @ 2009-07-11T22:36:00

2009-07-12T02:46:14Z

Cashier in a grocery store. Last night, I was the night supervisor as well, which means I was done at 11. After 9PM, we have two or three cashiers on - two until the courtesy bar is closed, so that one person can do that, and then go back on cash until 10:30.

As a supervisor, I generally take a break around 9PM. Last night, when I went to take a break, there were two people in one line and three in the other. I figured it was a good time to take my break. Well, halfway through my cigarette, the line started to grow. I put it out, sped back inside, pulled a till out of the safe (since all the tills had been put away, as we're rarely busy enough to need another cash open that late at night), and opened a cash. All in all, there were six minutes between me punching out for what was supposed to be a fifteen minute break and me getting on cash.

I called some people over to my cash. The first woman to get there was pissed. She told me I shouldn't let my customers wait in line for half an hour. I shrugged it off and asked if she needed to buy any bags (we charge for plastic bags, just like every other grocery store in my city). She says, "First I have to wait in line for half an hour, then I have to buy bags? I hate this fucking store." I apologized for the wait and asked again if she'd like to buy bags. "Well, I don't have a choice, do I?"

Yes, you do. You have a cart. You have arms. You can bring in your own damn bags.

Anyway, I finished ringing her out, thanked her, and told her to have a nice evening. She responded with a grunt.

Moderator Post Re: New User Info Content

2009-07-11T23:24:18Z

Hi all!

The other mods and myself have decided to implement a new rule in light of some recent difficulties. Don't worry, this won't affect any of you guys who are currently members. The new rule in the user info is as follows:

Due to moderated membership, you must be approved to be a member here. This means you must apply. If you apply and are rejected, please do not immediately file another request. It will be rejected also. Your rejection was not a mistake, it happened for a reason. We will not change our minds in a half hour. There is not a "set agenda" for us to approve memberships. This being said, if you have no journal entries, no friends, and/or belong to only snark communities, odds are good you are not getting in. If you are rejected, apply again in a few months, and we may reconsider you.

So if you refer a friend to this comm, please let them know about this rule. We would also like to ask that any people who are currently viewing the community and considering joining to take this into account. Also, please make sure you read the user info before joining. Feel free to take a look even if you are a long-standing member. It never hurts to make sure you're on the up-and-up.

As always, if you have a question or concern about any of the goings-on in the community, please send a message to one of us. We are listed in the user info.

Cheers, guys.

badisgood85

customerssuck @ 2009-07-11T03:05:00

2009-07-11T07:05:13Z

I'm a retail slave at Ross: Dress for Less (newbie here, long time sufferer)

So today was a pretty normal Friday meaning it sucked and we were way too busy and by far way too understaffed to deal with dipshit customers but since Ross doesn't get decent customers we weren't so lucky.

This actually happened to my coworker not me though I had to ring up a customer next to her and just listen to her being shit on. So anyway, it's two guys and a girl making a return at Ross. It's a pair of shoes and a couple tshirts. They don't have a receipt so wlstore policy dictates that we ask you for ID because our system can pick up repeat offenders that like to steal money from us. So, Lillian like a good little cashier asks for an ID and customer gets disgruntled and doesn't have one and neither do his buddies Jack and Jill. So Lillian apologizes and says that we absolutely cannot do returns especially when you have no receipt, no tag on the clothes, and no drivers license. His buddy Jack pulls his license out after Jackass customer bitches about how we have the stupidest policies and he's been getting problems from people all day and it's not our fault that we're so damn incompetent. Lillian ignores him and tells the friend that in case something goes wrong with the return that his name will be flagged in the system. And apparantly he takes it as a threat and starts railing on her about being unprofessional. So then jackass customer puts in his two cents and says his piece and then ends his unnecessary comment with something derrogatory.

So dear Jackass customer, Jack, and Jill: in case you didn't notice we did you a favor by returning things you had no price for, tag for, or receipt. Maybe if you didn't have your head so far up your ass you'd realize that if you've had a problem with every single store you went to today then obviously the problem is with you and not us. You're so lucky I wasn't your cashier because you wouldn't have gotten away with talking to me like that. So next time you decide to be a douche please go to Marshalls or TJ Maxx they get paid more to put up with bullshit like that. Have a nice day. Hope the door doesn't hit you on the way out!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Hope this is ok

2009-07-10T20:06:06Z

I found this and thought everyone would get a kick out of it. It is a craigslist entry made by someone who got cut in front of in a drive through. It's poetic really.

Edited to add Disclaimer: I consider this customer suck because I am positive that the people who worked that drive through had to deal with this directly. I mean, there you are handing out yummy food when the cops come swarming in and you find out one customer threatened to shoot another customer in your drive through.

You threatened to shoot me at White Castles

customerssuck @ 2009-07-09T19:23:00

2009-07-10T03:55:26Z

This story is finally over, so I can tell it. It involved two customer sucks. From the owner of the garment, and the depot that sent it to us. Both count as our customers.

We are an agent for a dry cleaner. This means that we collect things for cleaning and send it to the plant. They also collect things from their depots that need repairing/hemming/new zippers/etc and give them to us to do (the owners of the plant do all the pickup/delivery). If they don't ask for a price quote, then we just do the job, write the price on the back of the instruction tag that we need to be paid, and send it back.

So anyway, one of the depots sent along a suit jacket that needed a repair. They safety pinned an instruction tag to the label at the back of the neck. It read: "lining, repair hole" and that was it.

We looked inside the jacket and the lining was rubbed so much around the inside pockets, that it was really thin and about to have a huge hole at any second. The tailor (who used to own the business, but sold it and now works a few hours a week for a lot of money) Went right to it and hand-sewed a marvelous looking patch over the worn area. It completely covered the wear, but didn't impede the pockets at all. The price attached to it was $27.99. A fair price for the amount of time it took and quality of work, not to mention it had to be sewn by hand.

We sent it back to the depot by way of the plant. It came back two days later with a scathing note. The customer refused to pay for the repair, because we repaired the wrong thing. The customer was completely right in this respect. He didn't ask for that area to be repaired. The depot lady was not clear at all, and what she meant was, that the pocket (the one where the pocket-square goes) was damaged inside and needed to be repaired. It was her fault.

To us, and most other seamstresses I know, 'lining' means the lining fabric for the torso of the jacket, 'sleeve lining' is inside the sleeves and 'pocket lining' means the inside of the pockets. Since the instructions said 'lining' and there was a hole on the lining, we fixed it.

Since the customer refused to pay for it, I took the nice patch off. Then, in order to fix the tiny pocket, I had to go in through the lining in the armpit (it is one of the jackets where the torso lining and sleeve lining is sewn to the outside fabric independently and that is the only place to get in that is close enough to do the work. I had to fix the pocket by hand, because it was too small and to hard to get it to fit in the machine. Then I had to close the lining by hand.

The new price was $19.99. The customer still refused to pay it, so the depot lady let him get away with paying only $7.50. Now the dry cleaner is trying to get us to give them a huge discount because they have to pay the difference.

It is not fair of them to demand the discount. As I understand it, the depot asks the customer if they want a price quote (if it is not a usual job that they have a definite price for like a jean hem) and if we don't see a note requesting it, we don't have to give one. We did what the instructions said, then we lost the $27.99 we should have earned but still had to pay the tailor. Then my boss had to pay me for doing the $19.99 job, but they only want to pay $7.50 for it. Y___Y I don't think my boss will give it to them though, so that is good... because as it is the $7.50 that they would give would probably only barely cover paying me and the tailor (if that).

x-posted

Pixie Dust and Time Machines

2009-07-08T03:17:40Z

Background: I work as a CSR for a large cellphone provider. We offer insurance (which is provided by a third-party company) as protection for customers who lose or BREAK their phones, but are send out refurbished units for WARRANTY issues. The following two stories are probably the most amazing I've dealt with so far:

Woman lived across the street from one of our locations, and admitted to my co-worker that she had thrown her phone up against the wall (she was upset that she didn't have a good signal in her house). This, of course, caused her screen to go completely black, and would be considered customer damage, right? CW advised her of that, and she immediately got belligerent, screaming "Well, it wasn't working before, so I want you to fix the screen right now!" CW told her we couldn't exactly do that over the phone, and that, regardless of whether the phone was working before she threw it, once she threw it and damaged it, we couldn't even do a warranty claim. At that point, customer began insisting that we fix her phone over-the-air. Yes, she was insistent that we could fix a PHYSICALLY BROKEN SCREEN just by reprogramming her phone. Yeah, not so much.....we were outta pixie dust that night.

Other story was one of mine. The other night (July 3), a gentleman called me FROM THE STORE, because he had lost his phone and had filed an insurance claim. The insurance company had shipped his replacement phone, overnight shipping, to the address on his account (in California), rather than the address at which he was currently staying. It was 9 PM in Nashville, where he was, and 8 PM in Arizona, where I work. Our warehouse was closed July 3 for the holiday (celebrating a day early). Obviously, there was no postal service or FedEx on Saturday, due to the holiday, as well. So.....customer and I go round and round as I explain to him that he needs to take it up with the insurance company, or he could pay the full retail price for a new phone since he was not eligible for reduced pricing due to where he is in his contract and the fact that he does HAVE insurance. Round and round we go, until finally, I say to him, "Sir, I have told you what I can do. what is it that you want from me?" "I want you to get me a phone TONIGHT or I will disconnect my service." "Sir, you are in the store, and I have explained to you what your pricing options are, you can certainly buy a phone." "No, they have already closed out their register and say I have to leave, but if you do not get a phone to me TONIGHT, I am going to disconnect." "Ok, well, I'll be honest with you sir, I have no way to jump in a time machine to get your phone shipped to the correct address, and if I order a phone for you, it will not arrive until Tuesday at the earliest." "Tuesday is not TONIGHT!" "I understand, sir, but I do not have the ability to teleport a phone to you. Even if I did have that ability, I do not have a phone to send to you, as the order would STILL have to be processed through the warehouse, which will not be open again until Monday." Yes, he disconnected his service. No, I don't care.

customerssuck @ 2009-07-07T21:37:00

2009-07-08T01:39:40Z

I work from home for an outsourcing agency, taking customer service calls for a very large telecommunications company. For the most part it's fine, nothing really exciting, just people trying to save some money and I occasionally take payments over the phone. But sometimes...

Dear Obsessive Wife,

I'm sure you're right that your husband was not making long distance calls while you were at work. After all, you're obviously such a pleasant person that I see no reason for him to ever feel the need to talk to another human being.

But I still cannot look up the numbers on your bill and tell who they belong to. If you're so worried about calls you're not even being charged for due to your plan, call them. Or become intimate friends with Google. I don't care what you do as long as you get it through your head that this company is in no way affiliated with the show Cheaters.

Thanks a bunch,
Me

**************

Dear Man Who Knows Nothing About His Account,

No, I cannot give you any information about your account. I have asked you for several different informational items to verify that you are who you say you are and you have not given me a single correct answer. And trying to tell me that you really are you is just not getting us anywhere. I'm truly sorry, but would you really want me to give out your account information to just anyone who asks for it?

And why are you demanding to speak to my supervisor? I've already told you numerous times that if I can't verify your account my supervisor won't be able to answer any of your questions either. Give it up already! Go find the information we need to determine that you are the actual account holder and call back. Is that really so hard?

Whatever,
Me

****************

Dear Man Who Can Obviously Only Read Selectively,

I told you- several times- very patiently-t hat I cannot go through your bill and tell you who all was called from your phone. I even explained that it's for the same security reasons that I wouldn't be able to give out your information to others.

But I also cannot go through every single number on your bill and tell you whether it's a toll call or not. I've tried very nicely to tell you how to look to the end of the line to see if you were charged for the call or not. I told you that if there is a price there you were and if not the call was not charged t your account. So please quit asking me if every single phone number is a toll call or not and where the area code is. I DON"T KNOW!!!

And asking for my supervisor isn't going to do you any good either. Believe it or not he has better, more important, things to do today than to repeat to you the same exact thing I've already told you 5 times. And come to think of it so do I. Good day sir and thank you for calling.

No love,
Me

****************

Dear Vague,

While I appreciate that you wish to get back into contact with a long lost family member, could you please give me a little more to go on?

Asking me to locate a number on your bill might be doable. At the very least I can have a duplicate bill sent to you for a nominal fee. But I need more than the city that was called and that it was sometime 2-3 years ago!

Get the information you need and call us back when you can give us specifics. Hopefully we can send you out that duplicate bill but I doubt it if it's been that long ago.

Flabbergasted,
Me

*****************

This one isn't so much a suck, but it had me rolling for a while so I thought I'd share the wealth:

Dear Sweet Little Old Lady,

You really made my day today.

When I answered the phone and you said you wanted to complain I was all set and ready to pull up your bill and try to make you realize why you owe the company that much money. While not my favorite part of my job, it is necessary.

But your complaint actually turned out to be priceless. Did you really call our toll free number, enter your information, and wait in the queue for little ole me just so you could tell someone that the margins on the pages of the phone book are too wide? Seriously?

Ma'am, I truly envy you. If that's all you have to complain about life must be wonderful for you.

And I did as I promised and passed your complaint on to my supervisor. However, I did not promise to do so with a straight face.

Thanks for the chuckle,
Me

LOVE LETTERS....

2009-07-07T23:37:23Z

...to the woman who, last night just before closing, came into our store and (with the Mission Impossible theme obviously playing in her head) walked casually up to the rack of gift cards, grabbed a stack of the colorful gift envelopes that go with them and SHOVED THEM DOWN HER PANTS, then walked quickly out the door:
Oh honey. There were no gift cards in those. i hope that you were making good on a dare, and not just FAILING HARDER AT STEALING THAN ANYONE ELSE HAS EVER FAILED.

...and to the gentleman today who got SO upset when we asked him to leave:
you spoke little English, so i am assuming you're a tourist and therefore did not or could not read the No Smoking signs. However, no matter what your language barrier or where you come from, it will never be cool to stand against the 2nd floor indoor balcony railing and tap your cigarette ashes down on the heads of those below you. Have sense, man! And stop smoking, it's bad for you!!!!

Spikes,
Redorchard

customerssuck @ 2009-07-07T18:46:00

2009-07-07T22:48:39Z

Pharmacy tech, medium to high volume store:

* Patient A you picked up four out of five prescriptions from our pharmacy last night. A tech spoke with you and told you that we were out of the fifth and would need to place it on order for delivery today. I was not here when this happened, however you were. We did not indicate that we would phone you when it is in. That is not our policy. We do in excess of 500 prescriptions per day and we simply do not have the staffing to do so. Instead, we advise when something is not available and give you a time and date that it will be in. Simple, yes? When you approached the counter today, you did not seem to know how many medicines you were picking up, if they were OTC special orders or RX, what the name or names of the missing medications were or what they might do. Please don't get angry when I ask if you are picking up for a friend or family member. You struggled to give the correct birth date, for goodness sake! I have no way of identifying the the medicine is for you unless you show me a picture ID. You seemed to know so little about what you were picking up that it was, in my estimation, a reasonable assumption that you might be doing a favor for someone else.

* Patient B, we don't destroy people's prescriptions. For any reason. Ever. Forever ever. There isn't a conspiracy against you. It's probably the narcotic pain medication talking, so we'll chalk your yelling and flailing for twenty minutes up to addiction....

* Patient C, please do not approach the counter after your purchase and bellow at me that I didn't ask to scan your courtesy card. Forgive me, but I had a line of seven people and you happen to be the third person in that line. I make every effort to get people in and out in a reasonable amount of time and it is sometimes necessary for me to prioritize. I was trying to get you situated with your prescriptions since you, much like Patient A, couldn't identify what or how many you might be picking up. I don't know if you realize this, but being so unprepared slows the process down a bit and makes others wait longer behind you. I am required to verify your birth date and/or address, insure you are being given the right medication, have you sign the HIPAA log, give an offer for consult, etc. If the courtesy card was that important to you, perhaps you could have given it to me without prompting. It in no way discounts your prescriptions. I have much more important things I'm required to ask....things that insure your health and safety.

* Patient D, please stop yelling at me that you can get the same medication at Walmart for $9. I realize that. I politely explained that they do not route the claim through insurance and take a loss on the cost of the drug, taking the risk that you'll remain shopping in their stores for other non-prescription items. In an effort to educate you, I reiterated for the umpteenth time today that the insurance company determines the respective copay for each drug. When you replied, "Well, I don't know about that" and went on to infer that we must be inflating the prices to make a large profit, I didn't get offended. I remained calm and tried to illustrate my point using 'loss leaders' in a grocery store...the handful of items that appear in the grocery store circular, advertised below cost in hopes you'll get the rest of your shopping list with them. When you continued to grumble, I encouraged you to be a competitive shopper and that if Walmart was able to deeply discount your medicine, perhaps you should be picking your prescriptions up there instead. Roughly translated, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

* Patient E, holding a RX 'on file' means exactly what it sounds like. Your RX, which you dropped off saying that you did not need at the time, is placed in a filing cabinet until you alert us otherwise. It will need to be inputted into the computer and the claim transmitted to your insurance company. This is not instantaneous and no, I am not the person inputting. If you need an answer to exactly how much your medication will cost right this second, I suggest you dial the toll-free number on the back or the bottom of your insurance card. As I told Patient A and Patient D and about a hundred other patients in the past 48-hours, they are the ones that determine the copay. If you'd like to phone back in a few minutes--to allow that person a little time--we will be more than glad to tell you the price that was provided to us. Telling me "I'm not very helpful" won't get you crap.

* Patient F, don't get angry at us for your wait. It was your doctor who didn't write any dosing on your medication (multiple doses are available, both ER and regular) nor sign the prescription to make it valid. No one is prepared to put their professional license on the line to "take your word on it". Maybe you should be yelling at him instead.

Dunce of the Day has to go to the doctor who when we phoned to clarify a prescription because he wrote a dosage that didn't exist, he replied angrily that he didn't know why we had bothered to call that "it was close enough".

customerssuck @ 2009-07-07T08:32:00

2009-07-07T12:33:06Z

Background: I work at a "museum" which is really more like a historical house in the way you gain access to it; because it is very small, people need to go in small groups accompanied by a guide. Once a maximum amount of people have bought tickets to a particular tour, that tour is FULL and we cannot put any more people on it, because it will start to get very tight and uncomfortable for everyone and also because it violates the maximum occupancy law.

On a particularly busy day, in the late afternoon, I have no more tickets left to sell for the remainder of the day. We are going to close soon anyway. In strolls a very large, very confused family of nine. The leader of the group walks up to the counter and asks to see the museum. I explain the situation, as I've done many times before, expecting disappointment, or frustration, but I'm not quite prepared for the insta-rage that meets me at first mention of the word "unfortunately" How can they possibly not be allowed to go inside the museum? Don't I know how far they came? How long they walked? How much they were relying on this? They came here (New York) JUST TO SEE THE MUSEUM (I very much doubt this.) There are tears. Why god, oh why. I suggest, if they're still here, that they come back tomorrow. WHAT. They are only here FOR ONE DAY ONE DAY ONLY JUST TO SEE THE MUSEUM IN NEW YORK CITY. At this point it's been long enough that I need to get out from behind my counter and guide them over to a corner because they are making a scene. The mother of the family berates me, cries, yells and insists time and time again that we do something, anything, to get them inside. After a while it becomes clear to her that they will not get in today. She puffs herself up, gives me this look of pure hate, turns around to her family and loudly says, "Come on kids. We're going back to Texas" and they all leave. I like to think they all hopped back in an RV and just floored it back west. It's a nice mental image.

Letters to some of my most special customers.

2009-07-07T01:16:06Z

Dear Phone Lady,

I don't know why you are calling me asking me how to send an email to your friend. I work at a COPY CENTER. I help people MAKE COPIES. Last time I checked, I am not being paid to tutor you on how to use the internet. I am being paid to help the customers who are standing around my counter, pissed because I am on the phone trying to get rid of you!

Dear Looney Tunes Jacket Guy,

Please stop hitting on any female coworker of mine who happens to wander into the copy center. None of them appreciates it. Also, telling a woman that she can be your trophy and that you want to put her on a shelf and just look at her all the time is FUCKING CREEPY.

Dear Man With No Concept of Tact, Personal Space, or Hygiene,

I would truly prefer not to be forced to listen to you ramble for More Than a Half Hour about your niece's baby daddy, how you hate black people, the poor customer service you received at Kinko's, whether you should send the fax tonight or tomorrow in the morning, my lazy eye, your speculations on the country of my descent, or any other subject you might come up with for that matter.

Best 4th of July Ever

2009-07-06T20:45:02Z

Hey, thought you might be interested to hear about these two bright shining faces I got to deal with.

So, the giant supermarket I work at is open on the fourth of July. Well, the only day we ever close is Christmas. And I'm one who straightens shelves on the floor and helps customers.

Well, we have a toy and sports department, and all week I had been watching the outdoor toys quickly sell out. All the beanbag tosses and glowsticks and hula hoops and so forth were not only selling like crazy, but it was a chore to keep them all tidy. I'd worked toys and sports on the night of the third, so I knew what we had and what we were sold out of when people came in on the fourth.

That afternoon, I run into a woman with a cart with about three frisbees in it. She tells me that she can't find where we have all the frisbees. I'm a little bewildered by this because well, there they are in her cart, but I knew that just last night we had a box of about ten or so frisbees for 2.99 in the toy department. So I walked with her the three aisles over to the frisbees.

They were all gone. Well, that's unfortunate. She begins ranting. "See! The guy (my CEC and a cool guy) told me they were here, but he was wrong! This is crap! How can a place like this possibly not have any frisbees!"

I calmly reply that our outdoor toys had all been selling fast, but there were also frisbees in the sports department we could try. They were nice, hefty tournment frisbees, and they were up on a high shelf. When I mentioned that, she continued, "yeah, he told me there were frisbees in sports too, and I didn't see them! I can't find anything in here! This place is ridiculous!"

ooo...kay. I walked her over to sports and showed her the frisbees. We had a nice big box full of them. The problem? They cost fifteen dollars apiece. She flipped out. "I can't believe this! This is crap! This is absolute crap! Go in the back and get more of the cheap ones!" So I vanish into the backroom, already knowing that there's none back there. I run into my patron manager god, C. I tell him about the woman and he's like: well, you can also try the main aisle. So I take her there, and she walks alongside me muttering curses under her breath. I again try to explain, very delicately, that our toys were selling fast and we didn't have enough to keep up with the demand with the approaching holiday. I get to the display and freeze.

They're all fifteen dollars.

She lost it. She cussed me out and threw the packages back on the shelf and wondered why she ever came into this stupid store. And she left. Yeah, you're welcome. Shouldn't have waited till the last minute.

Second suck: Some time later that day, I was in hardgoods. This guy came up and asked me where the toy store in the area was. I didn't know, so I suggested he try one of my coworkers or the service desk. But strangely, he didn't LEAVE. He just kept talking to me. He started explaining how he goes from town to town and doesn't know his way around or something. I just humored him and listened, then just kept repeating that he should go to the service desk because I didn't know how to help him. He hit on me with some line about meeting different and interesting people. I told him to try the service desk. Finally, he thanks me for my help and puts his arm around me, then lets his hand slide down to my ass. He acts surprised and leaves. I split, glad to get away from him, and about ten minutes later I felt really angry. It was weird. What the heck?

Idiot!!

2009-07-06T19:01:23Z

So this weird guy came into the computer store I worked in. He wanted a headset for his cellphone. We didn't really sell that kind of stuff. He went over to the aisle for computer headsets and said "These are headsets, I'll use one of these!" and started opening various packages, making a call and jamming the plug into his headset jack, and yelling "Hello??"
I said "Um, sir, I have the same model cellphone you do (holding mine up) and it takes a specific kind of headset, which they sell at Target (across the street)". He told me to ***k off and continued destroying packages.
I got my manager and stayed away from him until he went into the checkout.
I shudder to think about his sex life.