Squirrel ([info]squigglz) wrote in [info]customers_suck,
@ 2007-10-28 11:56:00
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Current mood: cheerful
Current music:Guess :D

Tales from the Boobie Bar!

Quick refresh: Dancer at a nude bar.

Last night, we had a guy that just Wasn't Having Fun. He came in with his younger female companion, and stood by the bar. They had been there for a little bit before I'd gotten around to them, so I missed all the earlier altercations with them.

Me=Dancer girly
C=Customer
CG=Customer's girl

Me: *comes round, dancedancesmilesmile* Hey there!
C: *looks me up and down, and then* Well Hellllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Me: *smiling, still dancing* How are you tonight?
C: Ah, you know, not so good.
Me: Awwww, I'm sorry-what's wrong?
C: I've been LECTURED three times tonight. By the staffers, I guess? THEY tell me I'm not allowed to touch you.
Me: Well...you're not. *laughs*
C: I got yelled at for grabbing this one girls ass, can you believe it?!
Me: Yes, I sure can! Because you're not supposed to touch us.
C: Well, then I'M not having fun. *turns to CG* Dear?
CG: NOT having fun.
C: Unless-are you coming home with us?
Me: Nooo.
C: Then we aren't having fun. If we can't touch you sexy girls, and we can't take you sexy girls home, we don't spend any money on you girls.
Me: *still cheerful* Okay! I'll let the other girls know :) That way they don't 'bother' you.
C: Oh gee, how considerate.
Me: That's me! *smilesmile* *walks away*

Of course, I told the bouncer first. Apparently the dude had been grabby and rude-at one point, the dude actually said to the bouncer 'DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!' The bouncer said, 'No. Do you know who *I* am?' Confused, the dude said no. But continued insisting that he be allowed to do as he pleased because of who he was. Which, he never clarified, so as far as we were concerned, he was just some uppity old man.

So, he and his girl got chucked :)


Later in the night, a group of men came in. When I went around, the first man seemed very enamored with me, and requested a nude couch dance with me. I agreed, and took him back.

Nude dances are $45, whereas topless dances are $20. I believe that to be fairly understandable.

Not this guy. I did the dance, and when the five minutes were up, he started complaining. Right in the couch room, where three other girls were also doing dances. I started to gently pull him to the door, so he could do his bitching away from other customers who were trying to enjoy themselves.

His complaint? I didn't dance 'like the girls in Jersey'. According to him, there they just grind on your lap for the entire time.

There's two things about that:

1. Welcome to Pennsylvania. While I don't know the laws in Jersey, it stands to reason that different states have *gasp* different laws.
2. I don't know where you've been. What makes you think I'm going to rub my naked vajayjay on you/your clothes?

Ugh. After my next go round on the stage, they left.


The bar was slammed pretty much all night. Towards the very end of the night, about twenty or so people came in, all in Halloween costumes-there had been a party in the area, I guess, and they all decided to come to my bar.

Good, right? People=monies, after all.

Not so good.

They all sat right at the bar, taking up room, and refusing to tip. They were touchy, too.

After the third girl stormed away from them, having gotten only two dollars from the lot of them (there was one girl with them, dressed as a racer with devil horns (?) who was tipping two bucks each, but that was it), they were spoken to.

My bar is a 'tip, or gtfo' type of bar.

After the bouncers had spoken to them, they quieted down, sat in an orderly fashion, and tipped at least a dollar a piece :D

My only issue with them after that was with the one dressed as a 'pimp'. He kept following me around while I was trying to talk to customers. Telling me how pretty my eyes and hair and teeth (?) are. Which is great and all, but once I excuse myself from you, you need to leave me the fuck alone and let me do my job >_<


But thanks-

To the guy who got a topless dance and his three friends-you were hilarious and tipped well, thank you :)

To the boyfriend of a girl I used to know-thanks for sitting with me while I was bored and shooting the breeze.

And to the dancers for making me feel welcome at the new club :)


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[info]bimupp
2007-10-28 04:43 pm UTC (link)
Oh dear. Bar=brothel, so not the same thing to me but obviously not to the first guy..

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[info]seiberwing
2007-10-28 04:53 pm UTC (link)
there was one girl with them, dressed as a racer with devil horns (?)

Heh. Speed demon, most likely.

And the Jersey guy probably pulled that sort of thing in his hometown with 'They do it in Pennsylvania'.

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[info]squigglz
2007-10-28 04:54 pm UTC (link)
Heh. Speed demon, most likely.

oh, lol xD

And yeah, he probably did-they always do.

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[info]seiberwing
2007-10-28 05:37 pm UTC (link)
Pun costumes can be some of the more interesting, Or more moronic.

If you reference foreign lands, people are slightly less likely to call you on your bullshit. Supposedly.

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[info]psychomatt
2007-10-28 04:56 pm UTC (link)
Here in Iowa, the rules for the private dances are "topless lap dance" or "fully nude table dance."

Also, a certain amount of touching is allowed, depending on the bar & the dancer (gently grabbing sides of butt while getting the "boob in face" treatment, sometimes during the private lap dances, the girls will put the customer's hands on their boobs & allow/encourage some squeezing.)

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[info]roselover58
2007-10-28 05:00 pm UTC (link)
At my daughter's bar - it's no touchy. Period. (my daughter's bar=where my little one works, and is doing well).

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[info]squigglz
2007-10-28 05:00 pm UTC (link)
Eugh. I'm glad I'm in Pennsylvania, then :)

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[info]psychomatt
2007-10-28 08:41 pm UTC (link)
And all that depends on liquor license. At any place with a liquor license, the dancers HAVE to keep at least a G-string on. It's only in places that are "bring your own" that the dancers can go fully nude. They tried to change that several years back (tying the bottomless restriction to the sales tax license, instead of the liquor license,) but the police basically refuse to enforce it (no extra funding/personel for the extra enforcement.) There is also an exception for "artistic purposes" so one place I know of started keeping a supply of sketch pads at the door, and would give you one if you asked.

The law that changed it, BTW, was absolute BS. It was tacked onto the end of an "anti-crime" bill that (among other things) increased the penalty for manufacturing meth if it was in the presence of minors.

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[info]squigglz
2007-10-28 08:46 pm UTC (link)
Actually, my bar does have a liquor license, and it's fully nude. The law did change recently here.

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[info]squigglz
2007-10-28 08:46 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I assume now you meant Iowa, my bad :)

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[info]psychomatt
2007-10-28 10:16 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I meant here in Iowa.

I had mentioned Iowa in my original wording, but accidentally deleted that part when I reworded it. Sorry.

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[info]sooozie1982
2007-10-28 09:36 pm UTC (link)
ooh another iowan!

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[info]psychomatt
2007-10-28 10:15 pm UTC (link)
Cool! I haven't seen many of us on here. Feel free to email me (it's in my profile) if you want to compare Iowa notes a little more. :)

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[info]phae
2007-10-29 03:10 am UTC (link)
Wow, so many Iowans tonight. hi everybody!

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[info]phae
2007-10-29 03:15 am UTC (link)
Where was the strip club in Iowa that would give you a sketch pad at the door? Are they still doing that? If so, I need to get some friends together and go there, because the idea of sitting around sketching strippers fills me with giggly glee.

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[info]thessalian
2007-10-28 05:23 pm UTC (link)
A Perfect Circle, Blue. And you have fantastic taste in music.

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[info]talianthala
2007-10-29 04:16 pm UTC (link)
And you have fantastic tastes in icons and LJ names! ^_^ Sandman is absolute LOVE.

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[info]vonlisbon
2007-10-28 05:34 pm UTC (link)
What makes you think I'm going to rub my naked vajayjay on you/your clothes? Ew, recipe for a yeast infection right there.

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[info]merlewhitefire
2007-10-28 05:46 pm UTC (link)
... It kind of sucks that this sort of venue attracts the worst suck imaginable.

I really want to hit that first guy. With a two-by-four. Repeatedly. Until something broke.

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Teefs.
[info]literatehyaena
2007-10-28 06:21 pm UTC (link)
All I can think of with the teeth thing is that according to an obscure book I was reading, Solomon (this Bible dude, has a couple books named after him) used to compliment girls by saying "They/Your teeth are like a herd of goats, even-shorn."

It is not a line I would use to compliment anyone.

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Re: Teefs.
[info]squigglz
2007-10-28 06:26 pm UTC (link)
I suppose it makes a certain kind of sense. Samara is my stage name, which is a Biblical city.

But, I may be giving him too much credit here :3

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Re: Teefs.
[info]darknessabounds
2007-10-28 07:08 pm UTC (link)
Isn't she also the creepy wee girl in ring?

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Re: Teefs.
[info]squigglz
2007-10-28 08:22 pm UTC (link)
Yes :( I was unaware of that until someone pointed it out. I don't watch movies.

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Re: Teefs.
[info]mojotmonkey
2007-10-28 07:19 pm UTC (link)
...I'm sorry, but the random Inui icon with this post made me giggle. Madly. Ii data indeed.

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Re: Teefs.
[info]literatehyaena
2007-10-28 07:38 pm UTC (link)
AHA! Yes, Inui for the win. :B

....Dare I ask where your icon came from? (The first view I had of it was just the ass, then the text, then the rest of the loop, lawl. Bad timing on my part.)

*curses LJ's low icon limit*

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Re: Teefs.
[info]mojotmonkey
2007-10-28 07:46 pm UTC (link)
It's from the chapter where they play beach volleyball against Rokkaku, as is the one I'm using this time.. So that's canon Inui ass there.

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Re: Teefs.
[info]literatehyaena
2007-10-28 08:10 pm UTC (link)
... holy cow, you're right! Thank you, canon, for bringing all kinds of weird into my life. *rolls eyes*

*slaps a random icon up there*

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Re: Teefs.
[info]pne
2007-10-31 11:52 am UTC (link)
according to an obscure book I was reading, Solomon (this Bible dude, has a couple books named after him) used to compliment girls by saying "They/Your teeth are like a herd of goats, even-shorn."

Sounds like Song of Solomon 4:2: "Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them."

The entire chapter is a good source for bizarre pick-up lines.

"Thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead", anyone?

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Re: Teefs.
[info]literatehyaena
2007-10-31 02:50 pm UTC (link)
Oh, look, I didn't dream it! Although it does seem I got it horribly mixed up. Sorry about that! Also, uhm, I don't want my teeth bearing twins. Actually, I really don't want my teeth bearing anything at all.

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[info]tortured_beacon
2007-10-28 07:00 pm UTC (link)
Squigglz! I missed you!! Hooray!

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[info]kagekiss
2007-10-28 07:06 pm UTC (link)
C: Then we aren't having fun. If we can't touch you sexy girls, and we can't take you sexy girls home, we don't spend any money on you girls.
Me: *still cheerful* Okay! I'll let the other girls know :) That way they don't 'bother' you.
C: Oh gee, how considerate.
Me: That's me! *smilesmile* *walks away*

Hahah XD I'd ask to take you home, but it appears that has already been settled.

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[info]shadowfire76
2007-10-28 09:53 pm UTC (link)
Doesn't working at a boobie bar automatically mean that everyone can grab you and grope you and do whatever they please? No I didn't think so. The one dude was rude, I mean hello, you may work there and dance for others entertainment but you still need to be treated with respect. How would he feel if someone he had zero interest in came into his place of employment and decided to grope around and see what kind of cheap thrills they could get. I bet he wouldn't like it very much at all. Even if you had interest in the dude then you would still have the issue of someone else wants to get the same kind of gropes in that they saw this other guy getting away with and it would be a train wreck. Pissed off drunks everywhere thinking they deserve the right to treat you like that. Show some respect people. *shakes her head at stupid people*



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[info]metalloid_queen
2007-10-28 09:58 pm UTC (link)
Haha, vajayjay. I'll use that one now, along with my boyfriend's favorites of "cooch-monster" and "IT"

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[info]shatterbrained
2007-10-28 11:16 pm UTC (link)
Did you turn blue?

Always love your posts, and this is no different :)

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[info]squigglz
2007-10-28 11:53 pm UTC (link)
It's such a lovely color for me :D

Thank you xD

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[info]snuffylicious
2007-10-29 12:35 am UTC (link)
What makes you think I'm going to rub my naked vajayjay on you/your clothes?

You are made of awesome for applying an Intertubes meme to real life. Srsly.

In fact, it would be awesome if the whole thing could be written in meme speak.

C: omg y dint u put ur vajayjay on my pen0r??!//1?!one
You: stfu plz lolololol

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[info]darkandbroody
2007-10-29 02:58 am UTC (link)
You could wear a blue outfit and strip to that song.. I'd hit it if I were a guy. Better than Sweet Cherry Pie.

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[info]kittenmommy
2007-10-29 10:44 pm UTC (link)

What makes you think I'm going to rub my naked vajayjay on you/your clothes?

And seriously, who would really want a complete stranger to rub her naked vajayjay on his clothes?? Because... yuck. (No offense!)

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