中尉だぞ、と。 (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} turkish_delight) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} customers_suck,@ 2007-08-26 05:03:00 |
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oh the joys of being a waitress...
...that's sarcasm, kids. >/ recap: i work at an italian restaurant that actually doesn't sell any dishes with the common pasta we're named after. got a couple fun stories for you tonight.
two nights ago, the attorney general came to my restaurant. ...no, i'm serious. Alberto Gonzales came to my place of employment and ate dinner. i personally did not serve him (i served a few of his overstock of security guards, however; they were exceedingly pleasant, funny guys, not stiff stuck-up jerkfaces or anything. if i hadn't seen the little clear coil behind the one guy's ear, i doubt i would have had any idea they were important; like i was joking with them and giving them a hard time--shit, man, that guy coulda like...arrested me if he'd wanted to. XDDD), but my coworker Steven had the...pleasure? of serving Mr. Gonzales. as far as i know, the experience wasn't terribly unpleasant--i didn't hear that he was rude or a jerk or anything...but here's something you may not know--the attorney general is a lousy tipper.
...yes, you heard right. the attorney general--basically the head honcho of all lawyers--is a shitty-ass tipper. this guy makes more money than the net worth of many countries, and he can't afford to a cent over the bare minimum standard 15%? hello~~? gimme a fuckin' break. and i know for a fact that it wasn't because he got poor service; Steven is a great server and a really nice guy. Steven also knew this guy was important for one thing, and loaded for another, and i've no doubt he served the hell out of that table.
how lame is that, eh?
additionally, best story of the week. there's this guy i work with--Alex, yah? he's relatively new, only been with us for about a month now; real sweet guy, 21, has big gauged talon earrings and some bitchin' tattoos...great sense of humor and he thinks FFVII is awesome. >D all in all he's just a delight to work with; always manages to make me smile no matter how horrible a day i'm having. so apparently he was standing up at the front, and this woman is just staring at him, and he's like O_o? the woman demands suddenly to speak to a manager--now, mind you, Alex wasn't even her server. he hadn't spoken to her, he hadn't even approached her; she was not at his table or in his section. so my manager Pops goes to speak to her, and she hisses at him, "I can't believe you allow homosexuals to serve food here."
....whut.
first of all, Alex wasn't her server. Alex wasn't going to be touching her food or even going near her table. second of all...uhm...what the hell made her think Alex was gay in the first place?? i don't claim to have exceptional gaydar or anything, but Alex strikes me as mildly bi at the very un-straightest. very mildly bi. perhaps only after several drinks. he pretty much gives off a hardcore 'i like clams' vibe, if you ask me. but this woman didn't ask me. so she's scolding Pops for hiring homos, and Pops is like O_o??? ...so Pops...does the coolest possible thing EVER. he goes up to Alex and goes, "So. You wanna deliver her food?" and Alex is like, "Fuck yes, I wanna deliver her food! >D" so he goes and delivers her food all smiley like Alex is, and she's all OMGTEHGHEIGETITOFF. so she snarls at him, gesturing at his talon earrings, and asks, "Why do you wear those things??" and he just calmly replies, "Why do you wear those things?", pointing at her earrings. she blusters a bit, grumbling about ghei this and ghei that and burburbur, and then Alex just shakes his head and turns to the woman's kids and says, "Kids, I'm so sorry but...that's your mother."
and then he walks away.
a moment later, their waitress returns to the table, the woman flips out and shouts, "WE NEED FOUR TO-GO BOXES WE'RE LEAVING!!11one"
....rofl. homophobes are so lame. makes me wish Michael had been working tonight. he is very gay, and it would have been doubly hilarious to have both of them deliver this woman's food.
Edit: *yawn* turning off comment notifications. i don't want any of you asshats who seem to think expecting a decent tip for good service makes me an EB in my restaurant. i hope you all get service worth your "standard" 15% next time you eat out.
...that's sarcasm, kids. >/ recap: i work at an italian restaurant that actually doesn't sell any dishes with the common pasta we're named after. got a couple fun stories for you tonight.
two nights ago, the attorney general came to my restaurant. ...no, i'm serious. Alberto Gonzales came to my place of employment and ate dinner. i personally did not serve him (i served a few of his overstock of security guards, however; they were exceedingly pleasant, funny guys, not stiff stuck-up jerkfaces or anything. if i hadn't seen the little clear coil behind the one guy's ear, i doubt i would have had any idea they were important; like i was joking with them and giving them a hard time--shit, man, that guy coulda like...arrested me if he'd wanted to. XDDD), but my coworker Steven had the...pleasure? of serving Mr. Gonzales. as far as i know, the experience wasn't terribly unpleasant--i didn't hear that he was rude or a jerk or anything...but here's something you may not know--the attorney general is a lousy tipper.
...yes, you heard right. the attorney general--basically the head honcho of all lawyers--is a shitty-ass tipper. this guy makes more money than the net worth of many countries, and he can't afford to a cent over the bare minimum standard 15%? hello~~? gimme a fuckin' break. and i know for a fact that it wasn't because he got poor service; Steven is a great server and a really nice guy. Steven also knew this guy was important for one thing, and loaded for another, and i've no doubt he served the hell out of that table.
how lame is that, eh?
additionally, best story of the week. there's this guy i work with--Alex, yah? he's relatively new, only been with us for about a month now; real sweet guy, 21, has big gauged talon earrings and some bitchin' tattoos...great sense of humor and he thinks FFVII is awesome. >D all in all he's just a delight to work with; always manages to make me smile no matter how horrible a day i'm having. so apparently he was standing up at the front, and this woman is just staring at him, and he's like O_o? the woman demands suddenly to speak to a manager--now, mind you, Alex wasn't even her server. he hadn't spoken to her, he hadn't even approached her; she was not at his table or in his section. so my manager Pops goes to speak to her, and she hisses at him, "I can't believe you allow homosexuals to serve food here."
....whut.
first of all, Alex wasn't her server. Alex wasn't going to be touching her food or even going near her table. second of all...uhm...what the hell made her think Alex was gay in the first place?? i don't claim to have exceptional gaydar or anything, but Alex strikes me as mildly bi at the very un-straightest. very mildly bi. perhaps only after several drinks. he pretty much gives off a hardcore 'i like clams' vibe, if you ask me. but this woman didn't ask me. so she's scolding Pops for hiring homos, and Pops is like O_o??? ...so Pops...does the coolest possible thing EVER. he goes up to Alex and goes, "So. You wanna deliver her food?" and Alex is like, "Fuck yes, I wanna deliver her food! >D" so he goes and delivers her food all smiley like Alex is, and she's all OMGTEHGHEIGETITOFF. so she snarls at him, gesturing at his talon earrings, and asks, "Why do you wear those things??" and he just calmly replies, "Why do you wear those things?", pointing at her earrings. she blusters a bit, grumbling about ghei this and ghei that and burburbur, and then Alex just shakes his head and turns to the woman's kids and says, "Kids, I'm so sorry but...that's your mother."
and then he walks away.
a moment later, their waitress returns to the table, the woman flips out and shouts, "WE NEED FOUR TO-GO BOXES WE'RE LEAVING!!11one"
....rofl. homophobes are so lame. makes me wish Michael had been working tonight. he is very gay, and it would have been doubly hilarious to have both of them deliver this woman's food.
Edit: *yawn* turning off comment notifications. i don't want any of you asshats who seem to think expecting a decent tip for good service makes me an EB in my restaurant. i hope you all get service worth your "standard" 15% next time you eat out.
