anivyl ([info]anivyl) wrote in [info]customers_suck,
@ 2006-11-17 07:55:00
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in response
recap: asian waitress in this story

ok, i have decided to stop clicking open threads and wondering what u guys were going on about. i will just tell you my point of view on the entire incident, and what i really felt about it. i am not going to bother apologising to anyone's stance or opinions that was formed due to it - you guys don't know me, and assumptions are therefore easy to make. beyond a wrong choice of words with regards to the girls in the final story... here's what i was upset about:

1) in no way does your sense of dressing ask for it (and for the commentors that even suggested that, i am ashamed of you). as a victim of both assault and harassment, while it doesn't matter what u wear and u get hit with it, i would obviously not side with the men on that point. i love to romp around my room naked when i get home, does that mean my housemates are entitled to walk in and perhaps rape me? nar. not even in a million years.

2) why the fuck did those morons go up a second time to pull on her g string? was that such a funny thing?

3) the girls called up the police saying we did NOTHING. imo, we didn't do enough/didn't do the right thing (i would have thrown them out myself, mind you, if i had the power or even knew something was going on) - but that doesn't constitute as nothing, at least not to me.

4) and finally, sometimes, it amuses me how much people read into one sentence versus the whole paragraph. maybe i should shorten all my stories into a 90 seconds readable span so that people wouldn't go into too much thinking spasms.

<3

[info]anivyl

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[info]kokuten
2006-11-16 09:04 pm UTC (link)
It certainly has stirred up C_S. fun times, fun times.

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[info]privateskylark
2006-11-16 09:05 pm UTC (link)
You've got a pile of wanky argumentative fuckwits in this community who are far too lazy/retarded/wanky to read, and understand, posts in complete. I understood your POV straight off. Others are too damn idiotic to open their eyes and open their minds to what you werre trying to get across.

Just ignore them.

You know how you stand on the topic. You know what you meant. You know you are in the right here. So fuck the rest of them and their fast talking hands.

[info]commenters_suck anyone?

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[info]anivyl
2006-11-16 09:10 pm UTC (link)
lol thanks :D i just thought i should draw up this post anyways, in case i "hurt" anyone's feelings, since i have been a victim myself and it never feels good to look like someone's standing on the side of wankers.

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[info]conceptual_tea
2006-11-16 09:18 pm UTC (link)
[info]c_suck_snark :) Not just for OPs!! :D

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[info]druid_va
2006-11-16 09:33 pm UTC (link)
I gotta tell you it's pretty ballsy to promote a comm for making fun of another comm in the comm it's for making fun of. Good on you.

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[info]conceptual_tea
2006-11-16 09:34 pm UTC (link)
Eh it's not to make fun of the comm, just the stupidity in it. I love this community most of the time..The other one's just for the ridiculous stuff in here AND it's open membership.

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[info]druid_va
2006-11-16 09:37 pm UTC (link)
I know but, still it is kinda odd.

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[info]conceptual_tea
2006-11-16 09:38 pm UTC (link)
eh, I see "discussion" communities plugged in the communities they are for "Discussing' (which is often just arguing and/or snarking) plenty of times, so I don't think it's that weird.

I also don't give a damn, unless the mod of this community has a problem with it in which case I'll happily delete the comment :)

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[info]conceptual_tea
2006-11-16 09:40 pm UTC (link)
Besides, the 100+ members pretty much all belong to this community I'd think so it's not like it's an oooooh secret community ;)

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[info]druid_va
2006-11-16 09:45 pm UTC (link)
Don't get me wrong. I agree with you, I'm also a member, but not the president.

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[info]ems
2006-11-16 09:32 pm UTC (link)
Well, you can see how people misread the thing was, the girls also continued sitting there, with their asses hanging towards the boys. it's like "you can see, but u can't touch hah!" kinda taunting to me as well.

To be fair, most of the snark was directed against the people in the thread who were overtly saying things like "If you dress like a slut, you get what you deserve!" I don't think the anger was really directed at you personally.

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[info]twirlability
2006-11-16 10:43 pm UTC (link)
That was my impression. I was pissed off at the people talking about how girls who dress like whores deserve to be treated like them.

*eyeroll*

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[info]cthulhu_shuman
2006-11-16 09:35 pm UTC (link)
I mostly saw people responding to other posters' comments, not your original post.

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[info]rissie
2006-11-16 09:40 pm UTC (link)
You'll be okay, don't fret about it. You won't get into any trouble just because you work there - the restaurant will. And honestly, I'm sure your manager isn't going to get much more than a stern warning, seeing as he genuinely tried to rectify the situation.

Now, because I like to stir up trouble, as a size-3 32DD young blonde girl, I've dealt with everything from obnoxious whistles to attempted assault. And from a young age, my mother has always told me that the world is like a rainstorm - even if you have an umbrella, you'll probably get a little wet, but if you leave the umbrella at home, you're asking for it.

I believe it was Dave Chapelle who said that if you walk, talk, and dress like a cop when you're really not, don't be shocked when someone asks if you are (I mangled it, but you get the point)

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[info]mikya
2006-11-16 09:46 pm UTC (link)
Don't worry too much. People get their knickers in a twist way too easily in this community.

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[info]lolita_minako
2006-11-16 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Well, I read that post, and I NEVER came to that conclusion. I just thought, "those guys are assholes" and "the girls overreacted a little" and "the manager could have done more."

Those twits were jumping to conclusions about the girls' morale and intentions, as though they went out asking for that sort of attention. Maybe they were on their way to a club or something? Who knows. No matter the manner of dress, no one derserves that sort of crude treatment by jerkoff boys who have to show off for their friends to look cool.

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[info]kingyummy
2006-11-16 10:28 pm UTC (link)
Ah, no worries. I must admit that I did *slightly* read into your original post that having a visible g-string= inviting sexual harrassment, but what some of the commenters said went way beyond that.

I totally understand your annoyance with the cops' approach, I agree that it was bullshit. I, too, would probably have thrown the guys out after the first incident, but your manager made a judgement call and unfortunately it was wrong - these things happen. It was, obviously, flat-out wrong of the girls in question to lie to the cops - and for the record I personally think that they might have asked the staff to take a stronger line with the guys: so often, women seem to take this kind of shitty, demeaning treatment as some kind of compliment and if you, as a member of staff and a witness, step in to try to stop it, the women get as angry as the men do.

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[info]spamwarrior
2006-11-16 11:07 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, that was good. Although I should say there's a difference between dressing being tacit permission and being a cry for attention. You dress slutty, don't be suprised when you get attention with it.

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Second verse, same as the first!
[info]soliton
2006-11-16 11:17 pm UTC (link)
I don't think women are surprised when they get "attention" for the way they dress. It's the crossing of personal boundaries that bothers people.

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Re: Second verse, same as the first!
[info]gravityslave
2006-11-17 12:09 am UTC (link)
Personal boundaries... and LEGAL ones. IAWTC.

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Re: Second verse, same as the first!
[info]metis2be
2006-11-17 12:16 am UTC (link)
When I was about 15 I would walk home from the school bus stop and guys would constantly be yelling out their car windows at me even if I was fully covered and even wearing a coat. It was sometimes flattering. When they tried to follow me home, I went to a neighbors house and called the cops.

It's sad when girls will let guys pull shit like that because they think it's acceptable.

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[info]skeptic320
2006-11-17 06:02 am UTC (link)
Attention? Fine. Expect people to look.
Someone yanking on your underwear is not attention. It's an attack.

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[info]spamwarrior
2006-11-17 02:06 pm UTC (link)
I've prefaced most of my responses with that fact. I'm not going to repeat it just because you don't really feel like reading them through.

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[info]veriria
2006-11-17 01:17 am UTC (link)
I read your original post and understoond the entire thing right off as well...AND read it all in less than 90 seconds ;) Unfortunetly once one person states something (wrong), others latch onto it because they like being "dramatical". :)

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[info]fugebabe8819
2006-11-17 02:06 am UTC (link)
I'd just like to point out, that from the girl's point of view, your manager didn't do anything. After all, they called on him to stop this behavior. I don't know if they heard what your manager said to them, but if it happened again, your manager clearly didn't stop it. Ergo, their opinion that he didn't do anything.

I know if I had been in that situation, I would have felt uncomfortable knowing they were still allowed to stay. It would have felt like to me that your manager didn't care, that he was simply trying to pretend as if he cared so that he wouldn't lose business from the guys.

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[info]anivyl
2006-11-17 02:13 am UTC (link)
that i could totally understand, considering that they were, after all, being harassed by the boys. however, when it happened again, they didn't approach my manager any further, they picked up the call straight away. it wasn't like he let them stay on despite them doing it a second time.

suggesting to the police though that we totally did nothing, and that the guys were overtly intoxicated and we were still feeding them drinks (which wasn't true) was wrong. they could have mentioned (they heard and saw) that we told them to sit one side away - which they could have said wasn't enough.

bleah.

p.s just OT i like kikyou

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[info]fugebabe8819
2006-11-17 02:19 am UTC (link)
Well, in their thinking, why go to him again when he failed the first time, you know? I can totally see where they're coming from.

Who knows where they got the stuff about the drinks though.

It really irks me that the guys got away with it, without castration, arrest, or tasering. >:<

Me too! I wish the text were a bit easier to see. Yay first comment!

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[info]anivyl
2006-11-17 02:31 am UTC (link)
the guys were acting kinda drunk, and they did have a few cuppa. but boys being boys... you know what i mean? they don't have to be drunk for that.

although, if i ever get to see them again, i had like to burn their pubes or something. just coz, u know, they deserve it :x

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[info]fugebabe8819
2006-11-17 02:32 am UTC (link)
Ha, refusing service is always an option, too. Or hopefully they'd pay with a credit card and the restaurant could sue them. ;D

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[info]anivyl
2006-11-17 02:36 am UTC (link)
ahaha... we actually stopped serving them drinks thereafter, so they were just going on their final bottle.

anyways! off to work! ^_^ (and lotsa food stealing coz i am damn hungry)

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[info]fugebabe8819
2006-11-17 02:39 am UTC (link)
It all happens so fast.

Yay food! *misses the days of a fully stocked fridge/cabinet*

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[info]hotclaws
2006-11-17 02:34 am UTC (link)
Why didn't they,i.e. the girls do something? I sure would have.

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[info]fugebabe8819
2006-11-17 02:36 am UTC (link)
I don't know. if that had happened to me, I would have been scared as fuck to go out to a dark parking lot right after.

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[info]rotf_lmao
2006-11-17 02:31 am UTC (link)
Well, in my opinion, when compared with what he could have done (and indeed, what was in his power as manager), your manager did, indeed, do nothing. I mean, really, what did he do? Tell them to move. OH BOY. Like that's going to do a whole hell of a lot. And frankly, your manager got off easy -- because I can assure you, had it been me sitting in your restaurant having my underwear snapped? And if your manager had reacted the way he did?

Yup. You can bet everything you own that I would have been parading around outside your restaurant the next day with a sign reading "THE MANAGER OF THIS RESTAURANT CONDONES SEXUAL HARASSMENT." Because wherever it took place, no matter what dark corner -- even if the women couldn't see the arseholes in question, it was still going on in your manager's restaurant, and he allowed it to continue.

He, in other words, did nothing.

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[info]hotclaws
2006-11-17 02:36 am UTC (link)
This whole thing is so meta;like customers of "customers_suck" suck.

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[info]antigone_ks
2006-11-17 02:47 am UTC (link)
Again, I apologize. My comments were not directed toward you, but toward the three commenters who very explicitly said that the women deserved to be manhandled. Yes, your manager could have handled the situation differently, but as someone who has been on the ground in that type of situation (including being the person who was assaulted), I understand that it's difficult to gauge how to react, and what action will create the least amount of trouble. I should have more explicitly stated that I was thoroughly digusted with some of the commenters, not with you.

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[info]kicktothehead
2006-11-17 03:00 am UTC (link)
Like a few other people, I wasn't addressing you in my reply - I was addressing the fact that the guys were fuckers and that we had the first commenters saying that the girls obviously deserved it.

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