I'm a secretary at a college. My department does a variety of things, one of which is organizing information for the Education majors' criminal background checks (cbc). In Illinois, everyone that is either going to be working or observing in a classroom setting has to pass a criminal background check.

Every semester, I go through the class rosters, build a database so I can keep track of the students, and send notices requesting they submit consent forms for the background checks.

Spring semester registration started in November. 2 days in, I had a student that came to me to fill out a cbc form. After he gave it to me, I told him that I would not be submitting the forms until January (saves the school time and money should the student drop the class).

A week later, he's back. He wants to know the results of his background check. Again I tell him that they aren't being submitted until January.

Once a week, every week, he comes in to ask. We just got back from Thanksgiving break on Monday. Again he popped his head in the door to see if we have his results yet.

WFT? What do you not understand about they won't be sent in until January!?!? I explained to him that the turn around on getting the results is pretty quick. Even when we get the results, we don't notify students unless there is a problem.

I had a guy call yesterday, he wanted an orchestra box on the side. Those seats weren't available, but I offered others.

"Well, I want this box, your seat map shows it available."

"That's not a real time map, sir, and also Ticketmaster updates more slowly than we do, so they still show seats available even if they aren't."

"But it shows them, I want those seats."

*cue ten minutes of same thing back and forth both of us getting annoyed*

I wanted to yell 'Do you NOT understand the words that are comin outta my mouth? NOT AVAILABLE MEANS NOT AVAILABLE. They are ex-seats. They have ceased to be. They are SOLD'

I tell him one more time "The seats are sold, sir. They aren't available, regardless of what the seat map tells you. Our systems we use to sell you tickets have the correct info."

"Oh, well, then I'll just order them on Ticketmaster then."

*head meets desk*

WHHHHHHHYYYYY are people so dumb? Gaah!

Hi there! Hopefully this isn't a failpost.

I work at a small independent bookstore in a fairly busy area of town. As of today, I have been there for all of 7 days, and was originally hired to take care of stocking shelves, organizing the store room and all the other small jobs that my more experienced colleagues don't have time for (we're generally very busy during the day.) This means that yes, I do know my way around the store but did not know how to complete a transaction until today (this is relevant). I also happen to be wearing a badge on my blouse that says 'TRAINEE my name' in bold letters (again, relevant).

1) Lady, please stop rolling your eyes and sighing loudly. Yes, I'm slow. I don't know if you realized, but I happen to be wearing a badge that says 'TRAINEE'. My boss is showing me how to complete a transaction. We did offer for my boss to complete the transaction and show me how to later on. You said no, so we continued. After the transaction, I did apologize about my slowness. So, please stop carrying on as if it was a huge, terrible burden on you to wait for a bit longer. You had the choice.

2) People. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, do not come up behind me when I am bending over with my head crammed in the shelves looking for/organizing books and just stand there staring, without saying anything. My hearing's not so good, so I don't always hear you come up behind me. (Edit) While I don't expect you to know my hearing isn't crash hot, isn't it common knowledge to make some kind of sound if someone doesn't seem to know you're there? Majority of the time, I'm completely engrossed in my work too. Just say "Hello!" or "Excuse me." or "HI CAN YOU HELP ME HELPER GIRL?" Let me know you're there! I can assure you I will break my ass trying to get whatever it is you need as fast as possible. Also, standing where I can't see you (such as behind a shelf staring at me from around the corner when I'm around the middle of the aisle and clearly cannot see you) doesn't work either. I promise I don't bite.

Edited to add in a sentence I forgot.

I used to work for a retail store that sold clothes for women.I was thinking about this and thought I would share

For a while, we had coupons that you could print from the website that would give you a certain item for a certain price, with any purchase. ( this days coupon happened to be make a purchase, and get plain tees for $5.And there was limit of 2)For it,we had to make a display behind the counter that had piles of the shirts and a horizontal bar hanging from the ceiling(about 20 ft from the ground) that displayed 4 shirts open so.So a customer comes in and asks about the $5 shirts, so I gladly show her the ones behind the counter, and tell her if she likes, I can check what color/size was available for her.She had about 5 color choices in her size to chose from, so here goes..

Me: hi! * waves*
RL: Rude Lady

Me: Well we have a few choices for you, so which two would you like?( I put them on the counter for her to see)
RL: I *need* ALL 5, plus do you have another in my size so i can use the coupon to its fullest?
Me: Unfortunately,we have a limit of 2 per customer.But I can help you chose the 2 you like! *smile*
RL:(pulls out 3 coupons and makes a call on her cell)WELL MY 2 FRIENDS ARE COMING IN TO BUY SOME SO NOW I CAN GET 6!
Me: Oh! sure! but I only have 5 in your size.Would you like me to call another store?
RL: WHAT SIZE IS THE ON ON THE DISPLAY!? DID YOU EVEN CHECK?!NO YOU DIDN'T!!!
Me:Let me grab my manager and let him check with a ladder.(pages him from back)
RL:I'M IN A RUSH, YOU DO IT. THE LADDER IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!(points to ladder)
Me: I would love to, but I'm pregnant, and I shouldn't get up on a ladder. If you don't mind, he would have no problem getting it
RL: WELL I'M IN A RUSH, AND THIS IS BULLSH*T.IF YOU CAN'T DO YOUR JOB, MAYBE YOU SHOULD WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am. He will be right with you.

He comes and gets it down for her since it was her size, and I start to ring her up. I tell her she has to make a purchase to get the shirts for $5,and she tells me" YOU'RE SUCH A F*CKING WASTE OF MY TIME.FORGET IT. LEARN HOW TO DO YOUR JOB!" and throws them right across the counter at me.
I was SO upset.Especially since she knew I was pregnant.I KNOW it was just shirts she three, but it hurt my feelings.She also kept mumbling throughout the whole thing stuff like " I'm sure your manager would hate if I told him how you treat me..blah blah.." I wanted to SCREAM " I AM A MANAGER TOO!" lol and to top things off she stayed outside my store to chat with her friends and smoke a cigarette( for a good 10 minutes..couldn't of been in that much of a rush)

I consider this a Suck, but the simultaneous WTF factor is pretty massive.

Just as I return from a nice trip home for my lunch break, I notice an odd smell in the front of the store. No big deal; plenty of strange smells in a hardware store at times.

After getting my things together upstairs, I turn on my radio only to hear one of the cashiers call through that there's something burning in one of the aisles, and could an employee on the floor please check that out, thank you. Fairly certain that I didn't hear him right, I ask him to repeat himself, and head towards the aisle in question. He again calmly requests that one of the floor employees go put out the fire in the aisle (which could be very dangerous in a store like ours which is currently jam-packed full of oil, wooden objects, cardboard-encased item stacks, and ultra-flammable chemicals), so I run up to the front, looking for said flames.

I catch sight of a customer grabbing and wheeling a basket out in a panic, and follow him to the door, where I finally get to see the source of the horrible burning smell and the smoke and general customer panic--there is a layer of paper ads across the bottom of the cart, and they're on fire.

After snatching them out of the cart and throwing them to the concrete, then stomping the flames out, I walk inside with an ashy remnant of advertisement booklet and ask for more details about what caused it.

Here's the kicker:

I was told that a customer, inside the store with a lit cigarette, flicked it carelessly into the basket--setting its contents ablaze.

There's so much wrong with this situation I still haven't been properly able to come to terms with it. I also now have a small cough, and smell vaguely of burnt paper. :/


edit--to correcty transform the burning object from an automobile to a wheeled object for transporting purchases

A woman walks into my store tonight with a check in her hand.

Me: Hello! How are you?

Woman: The *insert store down the road's name here* won't take my check, will you take it here?

Me: *looks at the check she is presenting, noticing that her account number and name are written in* I'm sorry, ma'am, I can only take your check if it has the information printed on it already.

Woman: It is printed on there.

Me: I see that it is written in, but it has to be printed on there like everything else is. Your address and phone number should be printed up in the corner by the people who make the checks.

Woman: Oh. So you can't take my check?

Me: No, ma'am.

Woman: But the information is right there. *points at the top left corner*

Me: Yes ma'am, it is, but because you had to write it in, we cannot take it.

Woman: But it's right there.

Me: *sighs inwardly* see that it is written in, but it has to be printed on there like everything else is. Your address and phone number should be printed up in the corner by the people who make the checks.

Woman: Oh. Okay, thank you. *walks away*

Wow. Just wow. Can you really have customer sucks when you're not even open for business?

Here at Lots O' Luggage, we're weathering the economy pretty well. Our competitors, not so much. In fact, one of them (part of a huge multinational in our industry that just went belly up) closed suddenly the day before Thanksgiving. Thanks to some swift action and a boss who knows how to negotiate... we're taking over one of their locations in a super popular mall for pretty much nothing in rent. That's right... Lots O' Luggage is opening a smaller outlet chain specializing in closeouts. We're calling it Really Outstanding & Fantastic Luggage... or ROFL for short.

Now, they left town on the back of a mule with everything in their store, including the ceiling tiles, so we were busy all day getting things back into order and stocking the store. During this, the windows were covered with black out curtains and the doorway covered with red curtains, like a stage before the play starts.

It's obvious we're not open. So obvious that we also have a huge sign that reads "OPENING DEC 1, 2009!" in the window.

SO why does everyone come in and paw thru my boxes of merchandise or ask me if I'm going out of business?

I had one lady come in and throw her a bag on my glass counter hard and demand wheels claiming I sold it to her. I tried to explain that since this is the first time I've set foot in the space, that it's highly unlikely. She wasn't buying it. After yelling at me that I was unprofessional for not fixing her bag, even though I offered to send it to our repair department, she stormed out and said she'd never shop with Out-Of-Business Luggage Co. again.

They're gonna miss her.

Also experienced today:

- The Vera-cudda who demanded I price match the craft store on quilted bags. Ours are a famous maker popular with the old and the young and between 40 and 100 bucks each. Their bags are 2 for $6.99 and have the brand name "QUILTEDBAG.COM".
- The man who wanted to return $600 in luggage to us. Did I mention we hadn't opened yet?
- The woman who came in and complained that our store was dirty and full of boxes. I was on top of a ladder, wearing a tshirt and jeans, installing shelving. I'm sorry I haven't swept.
- The multiple people who, rather that pushing the curtains back to invade an area not open to the public, actually ripped the curtains down. Are you all unaware of how CURTAINS work?
- The woman who I kept seeing staring into the window, cupping her hands to peer into the darkness.... Did I mention the blackout curtains hanging in the window?

I'm so glad I'm off tomorrow.

So a week or so ago I'm working a lunch shift, and an old-ish man and his wife come in for lunch. They split a house rack of baby back ribs, and all is well. At the end of the meal when I'm checking if they need anything before I grab their check, he says he wants to speak to my manager. I inwardly panic--when people want to speak to the manager I always assumed it's because they're pissed about something, no matter how well everything went. So my manger goes over and talks to him for a while, meanwhile I watch from afar.

She comes back and tells me that he didn't think the ribs were that good. They weren't so bad that he wouldn't eat them (they cleaned their plate) but apparently they were only good enough that he would eat them for the sake of not wasting food. My manager was irritated that he didn't say anything earlier, but she took the ribs off the check and only charged them for the sides. I go over and explain everything to him, and he tell me, "Well I didn't want you to do that"

Really? What did you want to gain from complaining then? I guess some people just complain for the sake of complaining but. Bleh.

Recap: I work for a photography company in a major theme park where you can "ride the movies."

SL: Stupid Lady
Me: Your resident camera girl


Me: *bouncing all over with a cheap, plastic light saber trying to get people to come see their photos before they leave the park, which has already been closed for about 20 minutes (we close about one hour after the park does)* View your photos! Come see your pictures! Don't forget! *waves light saber towards store*
SL: Excuse me?
Me: *stops mid bounce and sentence* Yes?
SL: I bought this Meal Deal bracelet and was wondering where we can go to eat something.
Me: Well, it's only good in this park, and-
SL: *interrupts* I know that! Where can we get something to eat?!
Me: Like I was trying to say, ma'am, the park is all closed. The only places to get food is outside by our night clubs and theater.
SL: You're closed?! What time did you all close?
Me: 6pm, ma'am.*** The only places still open are the main gift shop, our shop, and the last-minute gift shop with Package Pick-Up.
SL: Well, that's stupid! They should tell you that before they sell you these things!
Me: Ma'am, it's on the maps, at the turnstiles and by the parking entrance. We close at 6pm every night this week.
SL: Whatever. What a waste!! *storms off*
Me: *waves light saber* Have a nice night!

We have the times posted everywhere outside the park, and the restaurants have their own personal hours up, too (some are different). Most people know when we closed, and if they got a time-sensitive item they asked (like the Meal Deals).

***We close early currently because it's the slow post-Thanksgiving/pre-Christmas season. I'm talking 4000-5000 people a day in a park that has easily hit 35,000+. SLOW. DEAD. DULL. *dies*


EDIT: For some clarification I should have put in here earlier. She was carrying a VERY WORN park map. Our maps have the Simpson's on the front to advertise their ride (it SHOULD be the new Rip Ride Rockit, IMO, but I digress). On the bottom is this fairly large brown box, a stark contrast from the brightly colored image of a bright yellow family. In the box, in big, bold, white letters (another really stark contrast to the dark brown), are the park hours for the week. She had the park hours on her the whole time.

I work in my college's library as an assistant one day a week but in that one day I have had some really interesting things happen. Today's "How did you even get into college" moment is a guy came up to me and asked me if the computer he was on was broken. I walked over to the computer and he said that he was trying to listen to music but he couldn't hear anything. Well, Sir, you need to try turning the computer on first.

Dear Sir:

No, I'm not going to give you the Black FRIDAY price on Monday. That was FRIDAY. This is Monday. You have the ad in your hand. The ad says, in big bold letters, that the sale price is only valid on FRIDAY, from five in the morning until two in the afternoon. That was sixty-eight hours ago. On FRIDAY. You yourself have been referring to "the ping-pong table that was on the Black FRIDAY" ad, so you know that it was only on sale on FRIDAY. Which is not today. Yes, actually, we did "honor" the ad. On FRIDAY. Like we were supposed to.

Please just leave; I'm tired of feeling like a broken record.

Thanks much,

Me (and probably half the store workers in America on this fine frosty morning which is NOT FRIDAY)

Recap: I'm an ex-starbucks barista at a mom and pop coffee shop in the middle of our local mall. I'm a customer service representative for a nationally known bank that assists customers over the phone with their banking accounts.

Hi, Customers_suck. I've missed you.I hope you've missed and/or remembered me! I haven't posted in a good long while because I've been unemployed for a while (lol drama) but now that I've got a great job now, I've got all new sorts of goodies to share with the world. And you know, any job that involves money will most def involve suck.

Strangely enough, I encounter WAY more WTFs then sucks. I will share my WTFs at this time. Rawr.

---
( The Undercover Lady. )
( The Acquaintance. )
( The Angry Miser. )

k thats all you get :3 I'll give you more stories lata.

Edit: Clarity and spelling mistakes.

So it's a Sunday night/Monday morning and I'm minding my own business, dealing blackjack, as you do. All of a sudden, these two guys walk past the table, and stand a short distance away. They had two glasses and one drink between them, and were busily pouring the drink from one glass to the other, screeching "Tony!!!" at the top of their lungs.

They weren't looking for anyone by the name of Tony - they were far too occupied pouring the drink from one glass to the other. Looked like srs bzns from where I was standing...

Lol drunks. Wtf.

Just a couple short ones....

( Hilarity ensues. )

Thank you to everyone who told us how much they loved that we only let a certain amount of people in at once so they felt free to shop. Thanks to the others who said what a breeze it was and how swiftly the line moved. And thanks lastly to the people who had hearts enough to ask US how WE were doing and how long we'd been there, how much we slept, or if we'd eaten anything. You really made my day.

My wife just walked in from working at "Bullseye". She relayed to me what must be the strangest phone conversation I've ever heard.
My wife has been battling a cold all week, but is much better now, still has a little cough...

H-wife
P-Guy on the phone

H: Thank you for calling "Bullseye-location" this is H how can I help you (pulling phone away a little) *cough*
P: Did you cover your mouth when you coughed?
H: Yes sir
P: Good cause I don't want to catch what you got

Over the phone...yeah

Also, since she's operator, she's also at the fitting room. She had this happen today as well.
For security she gives out little numbers indicating how many garments you take into the fitting room with you. Apparently it's rocket science.

H: How many items? (Still have to ask, even if it's obvious how many you have)
Father: Huh?
Daughter: One please
H: Here you go!

The second is minor, yes...but yeah.

Harley dealership.

As I keep saying, we are always accommodating and pleasant with our customers, however the second the conversation turns disrespectful/abusive, we no longer need to piss rainbows, we can tactfully stand up for ourselves, we need not put up with attitude.

I usually work in the clothing department, but on Sundays I check in/bill out bikes for service as well because they're closed then.

Dude comes in early this morning, he picked up his bike just before close last night, loading on the back of a pickup truck to haul it away.

Him: I picked my bike up** last night, I wasn't given a key.
Me: Oh, they never separate the key and the bike, check your saddlebags, they throw them in there, or it will be zip-tied to one of the rear view mirrors.
Him: It's. Not. There. Get it?
Me: (internal eyeroll) Fine, Let me check around, one moment.

I check my desk (he hovers over my desk looking in my drawers), I walk into the service bays (under a GIANT FREAKIN' sign that says EMPLOYEES ONLY in green neon letters, he follows me.

Me: Sir, you cannot come back here. *point to sign*
Him: You're closed I'm not bothering anyone.

Ok, he's bothering me! (I know this is super tmi, but as the daughter of a rape victim it's been pretty instilled in me since birth to not be places alone with unfamiliar men. It squicks me out. He does not belong here!)

So at this point I can't turn anything up, so I check the service office. The office is basically an octagon in the middle of the service area so that the Service Manager can know all and see all. It has one door. I go in, sit down, shuffle around. Turn up nothing. Now dude is blocking me into the office. MORE creeped out. I try to exit the office and he doesn't move.

Me:Sir, I need you to move so I can get out, please.
Him: You didn't find my key.
Me: I'm going to find it, please just go out to the lobby.
Him: Is it in there? *pointy to a box of all of the keys to used bikes that are for sale*
Me: No, that belongs to Sales, it's not in there.

He is now IN THE OFFICE still blocking me from leaving, trying to rifle through stuff.

Me: SIR, You need to go to the lobby now, I will find your key. Go to the lobby.

He exits to the lobby, I follow him and call the service writer, who happens to be my SO, who happens to be on his only day off in his 65 hour work week. He says the same thing, check the saddlebag, dude again tells me it's not in there. I call up the tech that worked on the bike, maybe he slipped it in his pocket (also his only day off!). No.

Finally it just comes down to it that the regular service staff will have to help him out on Monday. So Sorry, I'll have them call you, or you can call the service writer, I even gave him his card and everything.

Dude gets home and finds his key. Guess where? His freakin' saddlebag!

**edited. I initially wrote "dropped off" not "picked up" oops!

A minor WTF from this evening at work.

I just started a new job about two weeks ago at a movie theatre. Basically, the jist of it is that we get the movies after they're out of all the other theatres, but! you only have to pay $3 for Matinees and $4 for Evenings (and only $2 on Tuesdays!)

We used to have Friday and Saturday midnight movies, but we've very recently (as in, about a week) gotten rid of them, as they weren't pulling in enough people.

So, I'm sitting in the office at the end of my shift, counting inventory. The phone rings, and the manager in his office answers it.

The phone continues ringing, so the Projectionist answers it. Both phonecalls are inquiries about the midnight showings, both the manager and the projectionist explain that they didn't pull enough people so we don't have them anymore.

After they hang up, the projectionist calls to the manager. "Did yours offer to pay extra for a midnight showing?"

Silence for a moment, and then, from the managers office, there comes a very dumbfounded "... No."

I imagine that would be a very pricy ticket, given that he'd probably be the only person in the theatre, and would have to somehow manage to pay all of the employees who had to continue working.

I just... how does that logic even work.

Background: queen of the pharmacy photo-lab monkeys (head photo-lab tech, that)

Naturally, Christmas cards are the biggest time of year when people will try to sneak in their kid's school photos, or their step-son's wedding pic. Many digitally-ordered Christmas cards now allow customers to include more than one photo, so even as a part of a product we still need a hard copy of the form or whatever that shows the customer has the photographer's permission to use said photo. In a nutshell: to follow federal laws governing things protected by copyright laws, and so we can prove said customer had the proper permissions if loss prevention or a higher-up corporate employee asks. Most people are okay with this and either say they'll bring one in, or to just cancel that part of their order if they don't have one. Yet some people are just plain lazy...or crazy. You be the judge.

Note - in letter form for a change, as brief as I can manage.

( Tuesday: I know the laws, but I am a speshul snowflake and demand my pictures anyway! )


( Friday: If I tell the truth, then I try to lie, I can haz pikchurz? )

Well we survived with no major injuries, we have that much to say. This gets kinda long and ranty.

( Threatening the store manager will not get you what you want )

Okay, that went long, just...it's toys, people!

Oh, how wrong wrong wrong I was!

( Dear Asshat )


P.S. Don't think I don't know why you asked for my name again at the end of the call. Complaining about me to my manager really isn't going to get you anywhere, as he backed my decisions up 100%. When I called him to ask when the Shuffles were gone, I also double-checked to make sure I wasn't stepping out of line. Stay classy, jerkface! =)