Just a recap, I work at a cafe/winebar in a small country town that gets pretty busy on weekends. And by pretty busy I mean flat out crazy busy. We're a popular place.

I will easily admit, there can be a wait on meals on the weekends, we have one chef on and the kitchen is honestly about the size of a small wardrobe. Our head chef does the best he can to get meals out quickly and promptly and not let the quality of any of them dip.

That being said, it's not hard to realise there may be a short wait. Look around, we're full, people are having to leave because there are no empty tables and we're warning new customers of a twenty minute wait on meals. Which, really, isn't all that bad considering. And then this happens.

Me: Me!
Lady: Little impatient but overall not mean or anything. Suck comes in at end.

I was manning the coffee machine at this point and am literally stuck in place attempting to get all the take away and and have in orders done.

Lady: Hi? Excuse me, sorry. We've been waiting awhile for out hotcakes, just wondering how long it would be.
Me: Oh? Sorry, one second. -finishes drink and checks the tables docket- Yeah, sorry, you ordered about ten minutes ago. It'll probably be about another ten minutes, but I'll let the chef know if you're in a hurry or anything. We had a fair few orders before yours and we do them in the order that they're placed.
Lady: No that's fine, just thought I'd check.

She leaves, I go back to coffee makings. And then about thirty seconds later she comes back.

Lady: Hi, sorry again. but those people on the table near us, they ordered after us and got theirs first.
Me: Actually, they were originally sitting up near the window there but they moved to that table so they could have more room. I've got the dockets here, they ordered first. I just spoke to the chef though and he said your orders will only be five minutes away.
Lady: Ohh, okay. No, that's fine.

I once again go back to my latte makings. They spoke to another waitress and ended up changing one of the hotcakes to a benedict and ordering another coffee. All goes well, we finally calm down around the end of lunch and start cleaning up when I find a slip near the register for their table which prompts me to ask the other waitress;

"Hey, did they pay for the difference when they changed the meal or their other coffees?"

Other waitress: O.O "Not with me..."

Now there's the suck, I understand it took awhile to get the meals out, but we are busy, you were warned and really it's not that much of a wait in any cafe you go to in this town. But deciding that you deserve something free and just leaving? Oh, hell no.

Man, I was seven shades of pissed off today. I probably had 10 different customer sucks that I was ready to let loose and blow off some major steam, as I'd worked a 14 hour day on 0 sleep and was bordering on the "YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY" pose.

Then, as I'm doing my drop, the manager of the store mentions that there was a dog abandoned in grooming.

Not just a dog, mind you, but a five month old puppy.

They gave a fake address, a fake phone number, and probably a fake name. I tried to super sleuth around but I couldn't find anything that would connect me with the jackass who did it.

There is a special place in hell for you, toolbag.

Oh well, I love our new store mascot :)

Besides my regular part-time job at my local library, I also sell high-quality kitchenware as an independent consultant. I haven't been doing it very long, but still, I know what I'm doing. This issue was just a lot of back-and-forth that has crossed from 'annoying' into 'aggravating'.

( tl;dr: Customer decides to pay with a credit card, then a cheque, then a credit card, but now she has to pay with a cheque and doesn't like it. )

Game slave from a European game retailer with a very creative name </sarcasm> who sell pre-owned and new consoles and games.

This happened this very day, and it's still upsetting me. It's a bit of a manager_suck as well as a customer_suck.

So this Suck in particular is roughly three years old. I was reminded by a conversation I just had with a friend, so I figured it would be worth sharing here as well.

Autumn of '06, I worked at a fairly popular Halloween attraction in north Texas (but no, not the one attached to the theme park). Our management also ran medieval festivals in the spring and summer, so this was an actual business as opposed to other Halloween attractions that were all volunteer.

I didn't even last the entire season, unfortunately. Way too much stupid for high school aged me to handle!

Funny thing is, the stupidest thing was actually on management's part. Despite it being a family attraction, they sold and served alcohol on the premises. (I know some places are BYOB but generally anything I saw that was aimed at families had a strict no alcohol policy.) You can see where I'm going with this....

( Who thought scaring drunk people would be a good idea? )

Nowadays if I want to work a haunted house I do so at a place I know alcohol is not allowed and they take better care of their actors. That was just ridiculous. It was just ASKING for stupid customers!

( Read this first sentence and then write the first thing that came to mind when you read it. )











Did you read it? Good. Well, if your interpretation was along the lines of "Wow that guy was trashing your hair" then we seem to be on the same page. Just to clarify, my hair is purple (yes completely intentional, and I love every unnatural strand of it). Customers tease me about my hair all the time, and that's fine, it comes with the territory and I know when they are JUST TEASING.

But this one? He did not have the lighthearted tone the a fore-mentioned customers usually adopt when they give me a hard time. Aaand when I replied (with my best Customer Service Grin tm of course) with "And that's a bad thing?" He got real defensive and said "NO I didn't say it's a bad thing, I meant it's a bad thing for me because my wife would want to do the same!"

Ooook. Sir, I think I get the gist of what your trying to say, but no matter how you say it, it's still coming out in a rude tone, so please remove the foot from your mouth and be on your merry way. It's really none of your concern what a perfect stranger does with her hair anyway.

So I just quit my job at a small family-owned restaurant and I'm telling you the things people try to pull and get away with at these places. 18 inch extra large pizzas consumed and at the end of the meal when the waitress comes they tell them it was terrible and they want it for free when there was nary a complaint. Unsupervised children shoved to the end of a large table and given the sugar caddies to play with which they then proceed to empty all over the table then douse with just enough water to melt it so that when it recrystallizes it is a nightmare to clean off the table.

hello! for those of you who don't remember, i work as a manager at a tapioca shop located in a food court.

( arggg )

I just quit my job due to my boss harassing me on a daily basis so this might be my last for a while.
I worked at a local bakery where customers could either come in to order a cake face-to-face or call. Here is the woman I had to deal with on the phone:

Me: This is so&so's Bakery! How may I help you?
Her: I'd like to order a cake. It's for my 48th birthday. What sizes do you have?
Me: We have a large selection of cake sizes. Do you have any idea how many people you'll have to serve so we can narrow it down?
Her: About 20-25 people.
Me: Great! We either have a 10" round cake or a 1/4 sheet cake. Both feed exactly 20-25.
Her: What's a sheet cake?
Me: It's just a rectangular cake instead of a round one.
Her: What's a rectangle?
Me:...I'm sorry?
Her: What's a rectangle?
Me:...It's a square with two side that are longer?

I seriously had no idea how to answer that question. How do you make it through 48 years of your life without knowing what a rectangle is?

A lady with an accent came through my line on thursday. I rang her up, she paid and was out under five minutes. Friday morning, the same lady comes in. She walks right up to me and I automatically remember her face + accent and ask her if she needs help. The lady asks if we have her ID, as she doesn't have it on her. I check lost and found and tell her I don't see it but to leave her name and number and we'll call her if it turns up. She leaves her information and takes off. Later that night after I've gone home, she comes in and demands that the manager call me because I must have her ID.

Today, she comes in walks right up to me. At this point, I didn't know she had come in the night before. I remembered her from the morning before and before she said anything, I told her the ID had not turned up. She then insisted I did not return it to her after I checked her I'd for purchasing with an international credit card. I'm terribly confused. I don't remember carding her that night. She had her receipt so I checked if she bought alcohol or cigarettes or even gift cards but nothing. Our store does not ID people when using a credit card. I don't think we're even allowed to unless the transaction is suspicious or a very large amount. I explain all this to her and she will not let up. I have her ID and I need to give it to her. It can't be at the bank where she admitted she used it right before coming to our store.

My manager finally took over and echoed what I said and had her file some paper work. I don't know what else was said but it was very creepy especially after finding out she was in last night.

It's MegaWeek at the department store I work at, so everything is discounted. Yes, everything. Prices are cut, but the number of unhappy customers, not surprisingly, isn't.

( Minor wtf )

That was pretty much the conversation that happened (obviously not word for word, my memory isn't that good, but you get the idea)...so if there was something I was missing there, please let me know because I'm still trying to work out why she didn't understand that she was getting a discount. I kept repeating myself because I didn't know what I wasn't explaining properly, so there must have been some communication error somewhere xD;

Edit: I forgot to mention, the receipt does show both the normal selling price and the discount price. That was another thing that confused me - why was she questioning her discount when it said right there on the receipt that the discount had been applied?! I guess I shoulda pointed that out on the receipt, but I thought she woulda got the picture if I showed her that the price on the pricetag was different to the price she paid x_x

Dear person:

The vending machine has a sign on it, hanging over the coin slot no less, that clearly states in very large letters "Out of order, sorry for the inconvienece." Why would you peel the tape off the sign, stick it to the glass window of the vending machine, put your money in the slot, and then be surprised and angry when the machine ate your money and then chew out the poor girl behind the counter who was waiting on ten other people and could not see you when you were doing this? Did you think you had magical pocket change?

And now, an installation of the few-and-far-between Transport Chick Chronicles.

( *Facepalm* )

( I'm not sure what to make of this )

( TL;DR succinct on story #2. Hope it makes sense. )

(Sorry this last story got long. I get wordy when I get sleepy. I also thought it was fitting here because of the patient & friend element. If it belongs better in one of the other comms, let me know, and I'll see about moving it when I wake up in the morning and check LJ. Thanks!)

I seriously cannot make this shit up.



Now, some time ago, I was working with a female co-worker named Cynthia. She got pregnant with her third child, and went on maternity leave at the end of August. She's due in December, and will probably be back at work in January of 2011. (That is, if she's willing to come back to our shithole of a store.) She's awesome and I miss her.

I was working in the fitting rooms a few nights ago, and it was slow. So the phone rings, and I answer it.

Me: *phone spiel*
Person on the phone: Hi, can I talk to Cynthia, please?
Me: I'm sorry, she's not working tonight.
Person: Do you know when she'll be in next?
Me: January of 2011, god willing.
Person: What the hell? Are you screwing around with me?!
Me: No, I am not. She's on maternity leave, and she's due next month.
Person: *huff* Why can't she work now, if she's due next month?!
Me: Probably because she's due. Next month.
Person: That's impossible! I'm one of her closest friends, and I'd know if she was pregnant!
Me: Then you better check in with her, because she went on leave almost 3 months ago.
Person: You know what? Screw you! I'm going to come in tomorrow and see her. I know you're lying just to cover her ass. When I find out who you are, I'm going to set this situation straight with you! *click*



No kidding. I sent her a message on Facebook, and I'm sure she'll get a kick out of this jackass.

Thank god I answered the phone, to be honest. I think only one or two other people working that night knew Cynthia - the rest were all too new to know. I wonder how things would have played out, had our newest hire (3 weeks on) had spoke to that customer that night.

I got called "a damned simpleton" because the party to whom I transferred a guy didn't answer.
Yeah, it's my fault that you got their voice-mail.

You called up, I transferred you to T's voice mail, and left you to leave a message. 2 minutes later, you call me back and ask me to call T and see if they're in. Umm, that's what transferring you is. I call them, they or their voice mail answer, and I hang up and you are on the line with them instead.

I knew that you didn't want to get dumped off in T's voice mail again, so I was nice and came back on to offer to transfer you to someone else, but I caught you talking shit about me! I was nice. A simple "I'm sorry, did I interrupt something you were saying?" before sending you to a different person's voice mail and leaving you there. If that's how you talk to people, no wonder they don't call you back!

Statistically speaking, I'm probably better educated than he is, but obviously I'm an idiot because I can't psychically force someone to answer their phone.

Library worker.

Dear patrons,

The book drop is NOT a giant, silver trash can. It has 'Book Drop' in large bold letters on the side and the front. You see the smaller can a few feet away marked 'TRASH'? Please put all empty (or not quite empty) cups and other assorted garbage in the trash can.


The computer's hard drive is not a cup rest. You're not even supposed to have beverages in the building, let alone set them on top of electronical equipment.


Please don't use USED BANDAIDS for bookmarks. That's not just disgusting, it's a biohazard.

No love,
Me

Background: I am a culinary student. My school is also connected to a magnet high school, and what we make is sold in 4 locations around the campus to faculty, staff, and students (and it's damn yummy!). This week, my assignment was in the Cafe, which sells general diner type food (morning = breakfast sandwiches, bagels, cereal, etc., lunch = burgers, fries, grilled cheese, etc.). There's 2 women who work there, both in their mid-60s or so. "Betty" is slightly learning disabled, but you would never know it except for her facial features which give it away. She's also a total sweetheart. "Veronica" has a high-pitched voice and a hunched back, and is also a sweet lady, but with some sass to her as well.

Anyways, today another school was touring our campus and stopped in the cafe for breakfast, surprise rush time!

Dear student #1,
Yes, "betty" is disabled.
No, she is not deaf
Yes, she did hear you say, loudly, "wow, I can't believe they let a retard run a hot griddle"
And yes, I am kicking you out of the cafe now. Feel free to go get a cactus suppository.

Dear student B,
Yes, "Veronica"'s voice is slightly amusing, even she self-depreciatingly jokes about it.
Yes, that is a hunch on her back, it happens sometimes.
No, you may not stay in the cafe after telling her to her face that she "is, like, the 80 year old love child of Karen Walker and Quasimodo", you asshole!
Yes, she is upset and needs to go collect herself. If I didn't have better self-control you would have gotten a face full of hot coffee for making a cute grandmotherly type cry.

Dear chaperone of awesome,
Of course your 2 students told you I singled them out to leave for no reason. Thank you for listening, hearing others corroborate what I said, and then having Betty and Veronica come outside so your students could apologize. On their knees. You are simply amazing and may Powerball pull your numbers of choice tomorrow.

This was a customer at my mate's store.

To the woman that burped in my face (and blew)

I realise that you need assistance, and I would be happy to provide such a service if I actually worked at the store... however, please do not shout at me for 'misleading you that I worked here' just because I am standing in an aisle.
It would also be an idea not to shout at the staff for politely asking you not to abuse their other customers.
Thank you very much for burping in my face and, yes, blowing. That was kind, I now know what an inhebriated whore smells like.

Whole lotta love.

Me


P.S. The manager is a good friend of mine, and responding to her being an absolute dick would have caused him trouble. What lovely people there are in the world = }