aquastar ([info]belenen) wrote in [info]curvygirls,
@ 2005-11-06 05:10:00
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Current mood: energetic
Entry tags:belenen, rants

there is no such thing as a body 'flaw'!
This is a bit ranty, but in an empowered sort of way.

Lately I have found myself being irritated by those who say (in a completely well-meaning way) something along the lines of, "Good for you, accepting your body flaws." I want to say, "Excuse me? What flaws?"

I don't believe in 'body flaws.' To believe in them, you have to believe in one single ideal body, and I emphatically do not! I know what I am supposed to look like -- I'm supposed to look like me! And since no one can look more like me than me, I'm as close to perfect as it gets. I don't need to look like anyone else OR any other version of myself.

I don't have flaws -- and neither do you. What we have are differences, and they are what make us beautiful, what make us unique, what make us who we are.

Love your differences!


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[info]injection
2005-11-06 10:18 am UTC (link)
Oooh. You just reminded me of a fun story.

One time someone who worked at a plus size clothing store told me that a particular shirt would "hide my imperfections". So I asked her what she meant by that [In a rude tone, of course.;D] And she said that it'd help hide my big hips.

So, me, being the mouthy 15 year old that I was then, called her a "fucking piece of shit cunt", informed her that I'm just as "perfect" as her, and then I got her fired. Lucky I said what I said, otherwise my friend was about a half a second away from punching her out.

Heh. [I promise I'm not like that anymore, neither are my friends. -Smirk- But my over-reacting/being immature makes for a fun tale.]

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[info]belenen
2005-11-06 10:30 am UTC (link)
ha ha ha ha!!! That's hilarious! Dayum you're bold! ;-D

P.S. I love wide hips!

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[info]injection
2005-11-06 10:31 am UTC (link)
Booya I am. Haha.
If people say something that pisses me off they'll def. know. :P
Just nowadays I'm a lot more choosy about my words. Hehe.

Me too. -Pets hips- I love 'em.

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untoldeuphemism
2005-11-06 01:21 pm UTC (link)
That so sounds like something I might do if I was feeling up to it that day and didn't completely have a meltdown instead.

So there I was last night at a post-Halloween party which was only really 6 people plus me and I didn't know anyone there except the person who invited me and it wasn't even their party. They were talking about massage and reflexology and I mentioned that my feet always hurt even if I am only wearing sneakers or going barefoot so it's not really a high heels related problem. Some lady tells me I am retaining water just by looking at my ankles and then goes on about how I should drink boiled pepper water for a month to help me because of fat and cellulite and blah blah blah. I was horrified that after the first 10 minutes of meeting me that this lady would say that to me. Maybe she meant well but I was still upset and dying to leave. It was the longest hour of my life being there.

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[info]belenen
2005-11-07 05:46 pm UTC (link)
uh, that's horrible! It's shocking how people don't realize how incredibly rude and hurtful their words can be, especially when they're operating under the assumption that everyone is supposed to look one certain way.

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wide hips
[info]madresal
2005-11-06 01:27 pm UTC (link)
wide hips might be good for our hearts, too

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9913508/

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Re: wide hips
[info]meganlynnangela
2005-11-06 07:24 pm UTC (link)
83 percent is good?? hee hee I'm like 67 percent! yay for big hips!

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Re: wide hips
[info]belenen
2005-11-07 05:44 pm UTC (link)
that's an awesome article! You should post it here. ;-)

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[info]lo_key
2005-11-06 10:36 am UTC (link)
you rock<3

I love my hips.
Helps with a nice curvy body.

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[info]injection
2005-11-06 10:38 am UTC (link)
I like rocking.
ANNNNND.
I seen that icon in bad_Sex & I stole the quote for my MSN name a week ago.

My hips are one of my favourite things about myself.
As weird as some may think that is.
lol

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[info]lo_key
2005-11-06 10:40 am UTC (link)
I love that community although it distracts me from my homeworkXD

I love my eyes the most but my hips have always been on the "aw, you rock" list.

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[info]injection
2005-11-06 10:42 am UTC (link)
Hahaha.
Bad_sex is what I read when I'm bored.
I was actually just there.

I'm the exact same.
Eyes > Hair > Hips
Yepyep. :D

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[info]lo_key
2005-11-06 10:44 am UTC (link)
Haha, me too!

I think my top 3 are
Eyes > shoulders> hips.

for some reason I love my shoulders.

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[info]gaelletragique
2005-11-06 12:40 pm UTC (link)
Belenen, your nature is so gracious and true, I wish more people and even specifically women, would be able to think like you - and we are able, we should all ignore those ugly signals women haters and repressers in media and society and understand it's nature.

Thank you for sharing your positive words, you are so absolutely right, I rarely say something is completely outspoken RIGHT, but this is, and it's essential to know how to love yourself as you are.

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[info]belenen
2005-11-07 05:50 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, what sweet words! I'm glad you agree that it's essential to know how to love yourself as you are. ;-) Realizing that is the first step toward getting there!

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[info]teechers_pet
2005-11-06 01:38 pm UTC (link)
You are very right. Good insight.

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[info]belenen
2005-11-07 05:51 pm UTC (link)
Thanks -- it's just something that I have realized as I have grown to love myself. ;-)

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[info]_paroxysm_
2005-11-06 02:35 pm UTC (link)
I have to commend you on this (= I'm sure those kind of comments have been had by the majority of people in this community and it can be rather irritating, no matter how well-meaning they are meant. The more I realise that there is no 'ideal' body everyone must attempt to be like, the better I feel about myself and it pisses me off when people try to liken my body to some fictional figure. Hurray for all the body love (=

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[info]belenen
2005-11-07 05:55 pm UTC (link)
Well, the comments were both by people here and people on my friends list, and people I know in real life -- it's all based on a wrong mindset, the mindset that all bodies are supposed to look the same. I used to think that way too! You have to take control over your own mind and not let the media dictate to you...

Double hurray for all the body love! ;-)

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[info]sauvage1983
2005-11-06 03:30 pm UTC (link)
I second that! I deal with a similar thing when someone uses the term "overweight." I am not overweight, because that implies some mystery number I should be. I don't think so. Funny story about that: I know I'm meant to weigh more than most because of how I carry it. I went to the doc a couple days ago and consented to be weighed because the nurse politely asked if I minded. She went to move the weight that goes in 50lb increments and put it on one too low! I started laughing (and coughing a bit) and said "you definetly need to move that up one."

That was a bit off topic, but anyway, you rock \m/

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[info]belenen
2005-11-07 05:59 pm UTC (link)
;-) I agree, the 'doctors chart' was how I rated myself for a long time. Finding studies that show that that chart is, at best, a very rough estimate of how a select group would healthily be, really helped me. I don't know if you remember the two articles I posted, but studies now show that weight is not a very significant factor in health -- it doesn't mean anything unless it is combined with other factors.

I think many who are clinically 'overweight' are perfectly healthy and at exactly the right weight for their own unique body structure and musculature. And science is catching up with that belief! ;-)

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schizkitten
2005-11-06 04:29 pm UTC (link)
thank you.

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[info]belenen
2005-11-07 06:00 pm UTC (link)
;-)

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[info]belladonna713
2005-11-06 05:29 pm UTC (link)
This reminds me of the teen magazines I used to read when I was younger. I'm sure everyone who has read them knows that every year they always have an article on how to find the "perfect" bathing suit for each body type, which typically includes boyish, curvy, pear-shaped, large-chested, and plus-sized (and of course, all of the models pretty much look the same, except for the plus-sized one, who is usually no bigger than a size 12). Well, one year, they had a category for a "flawless figure." Being a cynical teenager, I said to myself, "What the hell? What constitutes a 'flawless figure' and who gets to decide what it is?" I certainly didn't think the stick-thin model they used had an ideal body by my standards, even though she may have been considered beautiful to someone else. Anyway, I'm 22 years old now and obviously don't read such magazines anymore, but it just bothered me that the writers of Seventeen or whichever magazine it was would tell girls that they shouldn't wear a string bikini if they have hips, because those are considered flaws.

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[info]belenen
2005-11-07 06:04 pm UTC (link)
oh my gosh! That is horrible. I actually found it kinda body-positive when they had the different figures (even if they were barely different) because at least it admitted that not everyone looks the same way, and it seemed kinda a 'work what you've got' attitude. But had they put in a 'flawless figure' back when I read it, that would have taken all the good out of it and made it worth less than toilet paper. Less than USED toilet paper!!!

To me, wide hips are the sexiest curve of all. I cannot comprehend how people can see them as a flaw!

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that makes me want to cry...in a good way!
[info]meganlynnangela
2005-11-06 07:26 pm UTC (link)
Wow, that was a good post. I'm not what I think anyone would call "overweight" but I've always been troubled by my "big" thighs and calves and ankles, and my not-flat tummy. And what have I been doing since I recovered from an eating disorder? I've been trying to love my "imperfections..." but it makes them a lot more easy to love if I can remember they're NOT imperfections!

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Re: that makes me want to cry...in a good way!
[info]belenen
2005-11-07 06:06 pm UTC (link)
I've been trying to love my "imperfections..." but it makes them a lot more easy to love if I can remember they're NOT imperfections!

Exactly! 'imperfection' implies a need to change, whereas realizing that it's simply, wonderfully a difference frees you to truly accept yourself! (by the way, please apply for membership again so that I can accept you!)

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[info]dreaded_bliss
2005-11-07 12:56 am UTC (link)
That really annoys me as well.

I don't believe in 'body flaws.' To believe in them, you have to believe in one single ideal body, and I emphatically do not! I know what I am supposed to look like -- I'm supposed to look like me! And since no one can look more like me than me, I'm as close to perfect as it gets. I don't need to look like anyone else OR any other version of myself.
--Couldn't have put it better. :)

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[info]belenen
2005-11-07 06:06 pm UTC (link)
yay! Glad you see things the same way. ;-)

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[info]defect___defect
2005-11-07 07:13 pm UTC (link)
you're great. oh, man, i can't even think of what to say.
i don't think i ever would've thought about veiwing my body like that - it's mine, i'm me, so it's as perfect as it can be, if it's mine. i didn't phrase it quite as well as you.. lol. but you made me feel absolutely beautiful - thank you so much.

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[info]belenen
2005-11-13 12:40 pm UTC (link)
yay! I'm so glad this made you feel absolutely beautiful. Just make that your mindset and you'll feel absolutely beautiful every day! ;-D

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[info]neonlime
2006-05-31 07:11 pm UTC (link)
I really love this.It makes me feel good about myself.I may not be skinny but I'm still beautiful.Even if I don't often feel that way.

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[info]belenen
2006-07-26 07:32 am UTC (link)
there's no 'even' about it. You are beautiful BECAUSE you are the way you are, not in spite of it. ;-)

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[info]chelle86
2006-09-26 08:57 pm UTC (link)
Reading that was so comforting :) Thank you!

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