hello, my name is Angeles R. ([info]a_basket_case) wrote in [info]cty_therapy,
@ 2007-12-19 23:49:00
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This may be a longshot, but does anyone have experience with being out as Trans at CTY? This will be my third (and last) year at Lancaster, but my first as a visibly transgender (female-to-male) person.


Long story short, it's very important to me that I be able to live as a guy at CTY this summer because 1) that's who I am in school and 2) I need to know what it's like to be treated, officially, as male in a 24/7 environment. I have my parents' support on this and I believe they will be willing to advocate for me in getting accommodations. So my plan is the following:

* Call CTY, try and get in touch with the site director (I hope it's the same guy as last year, he was awesome) as soon as I get my course assignment. Explain the situation and ask what he's willing to do to help.

* My first choice for living would be a single on a female hall, as I think that causes the least problems (I would love to live on a male hall but I really don't see that happening as I'm not even a 'passable' guy, meaning I don't consistently get read as male in public). If I can't get a single, I would like to room with a particular friend who'll be in my class and who doesn't mind living with a Trans dude (only problem is that there might be hard feelings about granting a 'roommate request'). Third choice would be for CTY to give me the name & address of my future roomie before the session, so I can write him a note introducing myself and explaining the situation.

* It is VERY important to me that I have my real (male) name (as opposed to my legal, birth name) on my ID card... mostly because if anyone questions me I can pull it on them and be all, "See? I'm a boy. So there." on them. It's also just a good thing symbolically for me to feel that my status is recognized by the institution (my school is enough of a pain about that, grr).

* This may be a pipe dream, but I'd kind of like to have 'commuter'-type status on my class's male hall, even if I live on a female hall. Eg. sit with them at those required-hall-sitting-meals and hall bondage and such. I don't really know how that works for commuters, and CTY might think it was kind of silly, but it would make me feel a lot more like 'one of the guys'... plus, it might mean that they'd have to grant me access to both male and female halls, and then I would be the CTY SUPER STUDENT! ALL YOUR CTY ARE BELONG TO ME! Rawr.

Okay, so that might be going a bit too far... but what do you guys think I can get done, and/or do you have any suggestions?



Thankoo,

Gabe (who was once 'Caroline')
LAN sess. 1
MIND 2006 & HDIS 2007

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[info]nagini89
2007-12-20 05:36 am UTC (link)
i don't have so many suggestions at the current time, but i can tell you from experience that if you want to request a roommate, as long as the person requests you back, and you guys are in the same class, cty is very accommodating about it. i know also that my friend this past summer requested a single for carious reasons, and when she explained her specific situation, cty gave her a single no problem, so if that's what your ideal situation would be, it could very probably be arranged.

i think they would be very respectful of putting your real name on your id card. the commuter-status thing they might not, because the point is to bond with the hall that you live with, not people of the same gender, so if you are living in a girls hall, they probably want you to bond with those girls. but i'm sure they will try to be as cool as possible about the situation so if you try hard who knows what can happen!

good luck with everything at cty this summer, enjoy it!!

kayla
04.2 grk
05.2 etym
06.2 cogpsych
07.2 logic b
(ahh i never signed my name like this before, its exciting! er, right.)

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-20 06:25 am UTC (link)
Ooh, I didn't know roomie requests were allowed! That should make things a lot easier. ...erm, what are "carious" reasons? Tooth decay? *is confused*

Oh, and what I wrote in the response to the next comment down was actually meant in response to yours (I'm sleepy), so read that too, heh.

Thanks for the input!

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[info]elsewhence
2007-12-20 08:22 am UTC (link)
I think "carious" is various, the C and V being next to each other on the keyboard. :-)

I have no idea for your situation, but I am wishing for the best, and I figure CTY should be pretty cool about being trans. I always thought of CTY as being somewhere for people who are not quite normal to have a great time.

Carlisle
99.2 Archaelogy
00.2 Chemistry
Lancaster
01.2 Etymologies
02.1 Number Theory

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-20 04:33 pm UTC (link)
Aha! That makes a lot more sense than requesting a single based on a poor dental status, which was all I could come up with... thanks for the good wishes :)

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(Anonymous)
2007-12-20 08:45 pm UTC (link)
carious=various

typos whooops

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[info]nagini89
2007-12-20 08:46 pm UTC (link)
oh, uh, that was me.

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[info]l0stmyrel1g10n
2007-12-20 05:42 am UTC (link)
in my experience, CTY has been very accepting. i think if you call the officials, they'll try to accommodate you. i don't personally know anyone who's been out before, although a friend came out as trans on the last day of 07.1 at Princeton and i don't know if he's planning to go back... i must say, i don't think they'd grant you access to both halls. if you tell them you are male and want to be treated as male, they'll probably give you a room on a male hall and not let you onto female halls. the ID card thing doesn't sound unreasonable at all, and i can't think of a reason why they would insist on giving you a card with your legal name.

best of luck to you!

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[info]l0stmyrel1g10n
2007-12-20 05:45 am UTC (link)
oh yeah, the CTY signature.

Sarah
LAN
02.1 GAME
03.1 um i forgot the 4-letter code...REAS i think
04.1 CODE
04.2 TCOM
05.1 DATA
05.2 MIND

PRN
06.1 HTEC
07.1 POLF

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-20 06:20 am UTC (link)
The bonding thing is a good point. And I do like living with the ladies in a lot of ways, especially when they're cute. :P I guess I will just have to make extra effort at male socialization outside of the hall.

I really don't think they'll let me live on a guys' hall, though, and it might not be the safest situation ever -- I mean, using the mens' room in public places is one thing, showering and rooming with guys who know you're Trans is another. Hrm.

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[info]dead_archduke
2007-12-20 06:22 am UTC (link)
1) you have a fuckin dresden dolls icon <3
2) even though i don't know you i'm proud of you!
3) i actually don't know anything on the topic, but site director brian seems quite accommodating.

it should be interesting to see how this plays out.
you'll add a whole new meaning to second saturday

eli
LAN 05.2 GRK1
06.2 WRT3
07.2 WR4B

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-20 06:28 am UTC (link)
Second saturday will be amazing. I will undoubtedly be the most convincing girl on campus -- of course, due 100% to my mad cosmetics skills (living as female for 14 years will do that to a guy).

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[info]dead_archduke
2007-12-20 06:32 am UTC (link)
: ]
was your transition drastic or will it be easy to go back to being a girl?

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(Anonymous)
2007-12-20 06:43 am UTC (link)
I sadly have not yet undergone any medical transition, so it will be easy for me to pull off Second Saturday... as long as I can hide the penis I've spontaneously grown. :P

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-20 06:44 am UTC (link)
Oops, that was me (obviously).

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[info]dead_archduke
2007-12-20 07:59 am UTC (link)
well by transition i meant non-medical. just stylistically

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-20 04:26 pm UTC (link)
Aha. Well, I still have loads of tacky (like, RHPS tacky) girls' clothes in the closet somewhere, which I should be able to pull out. Other than that... well, I dress like a dude. I used to dress like a girl with poor fashion sense, heh.

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[info]notfromvenus
2007-12-20 07:52 am UTC (link)
I dated someone at CTY who was openly MTF trans (at least at CTY), but she didn't do anything like that, so I honestly don't know about what the program's willing to do to accomodate. But I don't see why they wouldn't grant a roomie or single request, given the situation.

And for what it's worth, IIRC, other than a few guys on her hall, most people were pretty accepting and supportive.

-Kayla

LAN 98.1&2, 99.2, 00.2, 01.1&2 (I forget all the abbreviations...)

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-20 04:30 pm UTC (link)
Wow, that's good to know. I had heard something about a Trans student at LAN in the past, so that's probably who it was. Thanks for sharing.

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[info]kahlan_amnell
2007-12-20 01:46 pm UTC (link)
CTY is very accepting of trans people, though I doubt they'll let you into the boys hall. A roomate request or a single they could deal with no problem though.

To what you're telling them, be sure to tell them to talk to your RA about it in advance to make sure they are prepared. If they by some strange chance react badly, there would still be time to switch around hall assignments so you get an RA who is understanding.

Edited at 2007-12-20 01:48 pm UTC

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-20 04:32 pm UTC (link)
Do you think I could get the RA's email/phone number before camp? Hopefully there won't be any silly privacy concerns that would stop me...

(On a side note, my RAs for the past two years would both, I'm 100% sure, have been totally cool and supportive. It'd be just my luck to get a bad one this time around.)

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[info]kahlan_amnell
2007-12-20 05:27 pm UTC (link)
Well, hall assignment usually only are finalized a few days before the session starts, when the RAs are arriving at the site for training and such. You could ask, perhaps it would be possible to talk to them once they got there.

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[info]shaeberry
2008-04-22 04:49 am UTC (link)
I'm RAing at Lancaster this summer! I have no idea what kind of help that will be, but... Hi! I'm Shae! We'll meet around, I'm sure.

What you're doing is incredibly brave. I read this post awhile back and neglected to comment, but your actions resonate a lot with me. I'll support you in any way that I can. So, in short, go you.

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[info]repairsitself
2008-04-23 12:15 am UTC (link)
Hi, Shae, good to meet you! :] Come RA the COGN hall and we can be queer together.*

*in the shiny rainbowey sense, not the one that would get you fired.

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[info]shaeberry
2008-06-28 03:49 pm UTC (link)
hey gabe, this is shae in case my phone internet doesn't work. (shaeberry, above) first of all, your RA is my friend kara and you're a hall down from me. both of us are queer and more than willing to help with anything.

second, we were discussing your sitch today. I know you'll be able to answer other students' questions yourself, and that's entirely up to you how much you want to divulge, but we have the feeling that parents and students will be asking us questions. are you comfortable for us, when asked why a boy is living on this hall, to respond with, "his name is gabe and he's transgender and transitioning?" we didn't want to violate your privacy or say anything that could later be upsetting.

hopefully you'll check this before you take off to lancaster... thanks! if not, thanks anyway and i'm sure we'll meet tomorrow.

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[info]margotheangel
2007-12-20 04:59 pm UTC (link)
I have no experience with this, but I'd say that the thing you'll have the most problems with is being able to access both male and female halls from your class. I think CTY would be more willing to let you pick one gender and go with it (whichever one you prefer), but it would be a tough sell to get them to agree that you should have access to both halls. Good luck - I have to imagine that CTY is going to be open-minded about this.

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-21 03:40 am UTC (link)
I hope so! Thanks for the input.

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[info]theratmanknows
2007-12-20 07:56 pm UTC (link)
I love that you don't for a minute worry about the other students at CTY. This is why I love CTY.
I second what everyone else is saying.. probably not bouncing around halls, because then they'd have to make lots of exceptions for all the students with various sexual/gender identities (and also just everyone who wants to be the super CTY student, heh), but as far as everything else goes, I'm sure the admin will be accommodating.
Also.. go you. I second dead_archduke in saying that I'm proud of you! This is very cool and very brave.

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-21 03:42 am UTC (link)
Heh, well, I'm sure there will be some not-so-nice students -- I've met many already being 'openly gay' in past years -- but the good apples (which will be many) are what make CTY special. :)

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[info]froodyhooloovoo
2007-12-20 09:16 pm UTC (link)
I don't really have any suggestions, but good luck Gabe!

(By the way, I don't believe I have mentioned that I really like your new name!)

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-21 03:43 am UTC (link)
Thank you! :D

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[info]quaere
2007-12-20 10:01 pm UTC (link)
I have no advice, but good luck! I'm sure things will work out. (I'm also FTM and although I wasn't officially out at CTY, it's probably the best place in the world to be trans.)

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[info]joking
2007-12-21 02:03 am UTC (link)
^ I was his roommate my third year, and I was totally accepting! I'm sure that if you're strapped with a roommate, she will be too!

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-21 03:44 am UTC (link)
*highfive*
I knew there must be another one out there! Mind if I friend you?

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[info]quaere
2007-12-21 11:47 pm UTC (link)
Absolutely - I've friended back.

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-23 09:31 pm UTC (link)
Great! I'm actually going to use the journal repairsitself, which has most of the Trans stuff on it and is also quickly becoming my main journal (I posted here with the old one because that's what I've used here before). Sorry for the confusion!

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[info]quaere
2007-12-25 03:38 am UTC (link)
No problem.

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[info]myid
2008-01-01 06:29 am UTC (link)
CTY or a women's college. Sorry, just had to add my two cents ;)

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[info]sarcastic_apple
2007-12-20 11:43 pm UTC (link)
I have nothing to contribute, but good luck, Gabe. :) I'm sure you won't be needing it because, of course, CTY just rules like that. :DD

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-21 03:46 am UTC (link)
Thanks -- and I hope so. :)

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[info]buddynietzsche
2007-12-21 02:30 am UTC (link)
The site director of Lancaster is actually my friend's English teacher...I could probably get their e-mail for you! lol Care for it?

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-21 03:46 am UTC (link)
Thanks for the offer, but I'd feel better about getting it through the Baltimore bureaucracy - I'd feel less sneaky that way.

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[info]smud_sketchfrau
2007-12-22 02:09 am UTC (link)
I also have nothing to contribute, other than "Wow, you were so mature in 06 that I never suspected you had two ( or more?) years to go." + It looks like thigns will work out.

Love, Smud

LAN
04.1 GRK1
05.1 GRK2
06.1 MIND
^man, that is fun!

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[info]a_basket_case
2007-12-23 09:32 pm UTC (link)
Wow, thank you :3

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[info]alexisemo
2007-12-26 04:02 pm UTC (link)
i haven't read any of these comments, but there was a female-to-male transgender on my (girls) hall one year at cty. i don't know if he had tried to request to be on a male hall, but i think everyone treated him like a guy.

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[info]repairsitself
2008-01-01 05:56 am UTC (link)
Good to know; thanks for the info.

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