Current mood:	amused
Current music:	Kyoto Now! - Bad Religion
Entry tags:	fic:assumptions, fic:cliche, fic:deserved, fic:hell, pairing:ecklie/gil 2005, pairing:ecklie/greg 2005, rating:pg, rating:pg-13

Hello!
Hi! I'm new to this comm, and CSI in general, really. (Only been interested in it for a month or so.) Anyway, my name's Sara, and I come bearing fic. I figured instead of doing separate posts and being extremely annoying, I'd just post it all here. ^^

Title: Cliche
Summary: Public enemies, private lovers. How cliche.
Pairing: Ecklie/Grissom
Rating: PG
A/N: Thanks to Kelly for the uh, read-through? =P


Conrad Ecklie wasn’t exactly sure when it started. All he remembered was one day, he was at a bar, having a drink, alone, and then all of a sudden, Gil Grissom was sitting across from him. It had been a little weird, as if they were different people away from the lab. It ended up turning into a weekly thing - whenever their days off overlapped.

They were enemies, always clashing, got along like a house on fire - everyone knew that. What, exactly, was it that had brought them together, sitting in near silence, wondering, drinking, and surprisingly, enjoying the company?

Maybe it was the need to sit with someone who didn’t have any attachment, someone who didn’t care enough to pry. At least, that was how it started it out. It had developed into more.

Here they were, Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom, both middle-aged men, Assistant Director and supervisor of the graveyard shift to one of the best damn crime labs in the country, respectively, carrying on a secret affair. It was laughable.

They kept up their facade at work - it wouldn’t do for anyone to get suspicious - but their dynamic had clearly changed.

Public enemies, private lovers.

Ecklie smirked. How cliche. And yet, he enjoyed it. The act in front of their co-workers was fun, and they had mellowed in their disagreements after what was called “the incident” between Conrad and Gil. Ecklie and Grissom didn’t talk about it. They were still enemies.

Someday, Conrad knew he would tire of the charade. One day, he would want to be able to tell Grissom how Ecklie really felt about him - and in public, too. There would be a time when he wouldn’t want to play a role, or hold up an act. But for now, it was all right. For now, it was fun, and it made him feel, dare he think it, young again.

For now, he was content. They both were.

And that’s what mattered.


-End


Title: Deserved
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Lashing out, bitterness, regret, and self-loathing: Conrad Ecklie.
Pairing: One-sided Ecklie/Grissom, Grissom/Greg
A/N: Thanks go to Kelly for the beta.


“I love it when you wear your gloves.”

Grissom had only been mocking him, of course. Not that Ecklie could really blame him - he certainly wasn’t innocent of it. He was Conrad Ecklie, day shift prick, only there to play politics and make Gil Grissom’s life hell. Right.

One thing Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom had in common was that they were both abysmal with relationships and feelings. Whereas Grissom just absorbed himself in his work and became reserved to get away from it, Ecklie lashed out. Subtly, of course, but he lashed out. It was the only thing he knew.

He’d been attracted to Gil Grissom upwards of three years, and he absolutely hated it. He wanted to hate the man, call him annoying, revel in his mistakes and failures, and he did, outwardly; inwardly, he cursed himself. Why did he always have to be such a prick, god dammit?

He knew it was useless beating himself up about it - Grissom wasn’t on the market, anyway. And even if he were, what were the chances he would so much glance in Ecklie’s direction? None, that’s what. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

But that didn’t matter, because he wasn’t single. Ecklie had had his suspicions of who might be the one Gil had finally found himself compatible with. First, he thought it was Sidle, but it was soon obvious that Grissom wasn’t interested in her. Then, one day, he saw it: the look. Oh, to any normal observer, it wouldn’t have looked like much, but the look he had shot Greg Sanders was very, very telling to Ecklie. It was affection.

And not just, ‘you’re becoming a great CSI, kid’ affection, either. It was ‘you’re adorable’ affection. ‘I’m glad you’re in my life’ affection. Even ‘I could fall in love with you’ affection. Ecklie’s fist clenched in anger just remembering it.

He supposed he couldn’t really blame Grissom. Greg was certainly very pretty and obviously somewhat intelligent. He was fun, quirky, different. Not a prick. Everything he wasn’t.

He felt so bitter, sometimes.

Ecklie sighed. There really wasn’t anything he could do but endure the looks that were secret to anyone but someone looking for them, which he was. He always was, and he hated himself for it. He hated himself for a lot of things, though, so adding one more to the list wasn’t a huge deal.

Sometimes he thought that he probably loathed himself more than any of Grissom’s team loathed him.

It stung, but he pushed the thoughts away, only dwelling on them when he was feeling in a particularly bad mood and he wanted to make it worse for the hell of it. It was what it cost him for wanting something besides bitterness in his life. The price for wanting some affection.

He sighed. He was Conrad Ecklie, career horse, and asshole extraordinaire.

It was nothing more than what he deserved.


-End


Title: Assumptions
Rating: PG
Summary: You shouldn’t make assumptions about people.
Pairing: Ecklie/Greg
A/N: Thanks to Kelly for the beta.


Ecklie wasn’t so bad a guy, Greg thought. Yeah, he was a prick sometimes, but that was just because Ecklie and Grissom clashed a lot, and Ecklie dealt with it in the way he knew best. But really - when Nick had been in trouble, he’d not been so bad, right? And he’d given Grissom his team back. He was really kind of decent when it got down to it.

And he wasn’t ‘sucking up’ to him like Nick and Warrick said, he was just helping his career. So what if he changed his hair a bit - it was time for a change. And so what if he did the man a favor or two? He was just being helpful. Right, helpful.

Greg knew that Ecklie could be an asshole and everything, and that he wasn’t exactly Mr. Personality, and he was definitely not very attractive. There was just something about the guy that was kind of intriguing, and Greg, ever the curious one, couldn’t help but being interested. What made this guy tick - why did he act like he did? Was he born to play politics? Did something happen in his past that made him do this? More importantly, what sort of things triggered his human side that he liked to keep hidden?

He was a bit of a puzzle, and, well, Grissom was always telling them to try to solve puzzles, right?

It occurred to him that becoming involved with Conrad Ecklie was probably not what Grissom had, had in mind, but Greg didn’t care. He’d found out a lot of interesting things - such as the fact that Conrad Ecklie had horrible low self-esteem issues.

Granted, I don’t know why, exactly, I kissed him, Greg thought, but the fact that he thought it was some sort of joke... who would do that to someone?

“Why would you do something like that? I could make your life hell, fire you, make it public - why would you risk your career? What are you playing at?” he had said, and Greg just kind of looked at him, slightly dumbfounded, before it clicked.

“You’re scared. That’s what this is about. What, you think I just go around kissing people and leading them on just to make them feel like crap and have a good laugh about it afterward? Geez, what kind of person do you think I am?”

“You’re part of Grissom’s team-”

“Eck- no, Conrad. Just shut up.” And Greg kissed him again. That time, he didn’t stop him.

And that was why Greg Sanders was able to put up with the light ribbing from Nick and Warrick about him ‘sucking up’ to Ecklie. He wondered what they’d be saying if they knew the truth. They’d have a field day with it, probably. Well, he certainly wasn’t going to tell them.

It was their fault for assuming, anyway.


-End


Title: Hell
Summary: What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Rating: PG-13
A/N: Thanks, again, go to Kelly for the beta. She's amazing. ^^ Spoilers for Grave Danger, if everyone in the world hasn't seen it yet. =P


(“Where is my guy?”

“Oh, so he’s ‘your guy’?”)

Gil and Nick had been more than colleagues and even friends for quite some time now. The shift split had taken some of the risk away from their relationship, which they had been grateful for. Of course, everyone else had assumed the entire reason for the whole thing was simply Ecklie being a prick. Grissom would’ve frowned at the assumption if it wasn’t vital that everyone believed it.

“Some time now” translated to “a year” from Grissom to English. Although, “some time now” for Grissom technically started at two months. It was common knowledge that he wasn’t exactly prime relationship material.

Nick had been stubborn.

(“Are you two close?”

“That’s none of your business.”)

Grissom had never had much experience with certain emotions. Love, for example, was one. Also, need. He was independent. He wasn’t used to having to consider another’s feelings or sharing things he normally kept to himself, or even, dare he think it, depend on someone else sometimes.

It’d been difficult, in the beginning, to adjust, but Nick hadn’t given up. Eventually, Grissom let himself give in. He let himself, actually, on occasion, need. It brought them closer together than ever.

(“What does Nick Stokes mean to you?”)

Grissom had never quite met anyone like Nick Stokes before. Charming, yet shy. Confident, yet self-conscious. He was a walking paradox.

Perhaps that’s why he’d been drawn to the younger man, his good looks and intelligence aside; maybe it had been a scientific curiosity at first. Grissom was glad it’d developed into more.

Nick was special to him. He didn’t quite know how to vocalize it yet, and it was doubtful that he ever would, but he thought Nick knew. He hoped Nick knew.

(“How do you feel when you see him in that coffin? Dies your soul die every time you push that button? How do you feel, knowing that there’s nothing you can do to get him out of that hell? Helpless... useless... impotent?”)

Grissom had always been, surprisingly, agnostic. While most of the time he couldn’t stand not knowing how or what or why, he thought when it came to religion, not knowing was the closest anyone ever really came to understanding.

He’d never believed in Hell. It didn’t make sense to him that any kind, loving, God, Goddess, being of your choice would damn any of their “children” to a fiery pit for all eternity. He’d dismissed it.

How wrong he’d been.

Hell existed, which he knew quite well, now. No, there was no red man with horns, a spiked tale, and a burning pitchfork. There were no skyscraper-tall flames, shooting up everywhere, haunting, burning, torturing. There was torture, however, and there were the pained souls screaming around him, albeit silently. And his soul was definitely decaying and being destroyed every second.

Hell was watching Nick in that box. Hell was being helpless. Gil’s Hell hadn’t been underground and didn’t come after death, but it was Hell all right.

(“Pancho! Listen to me. Put your hand on my hand.”)

Gil still didn’t know how he’d remained so calm. He chalked it up to years of practice, because finding Nick, rescuing Nick, it had sent a shiver of relief so strong down his spike, he probably could have cried and not cared for one second who saw him.

Sitting in the hospital room, Gil looked at Nick, who was sleeping, apparently peacefully, in the hospital bed. He knew that it wasn’t completely over, that there would need to be time for Nick to recover and cope, but he was still relieved.

Because while the whole ordeal had been Hell, knowing that Nick - and himself - had survived the worst of it, and that they would have each other to help them both make it through the rest, gave him hope.

It was a tiny shimmer of Heaven.


-End


Um, yeah, totally just realized that three of these four involve Ecklie in some capacity. Do I have some strange soft spot for Ecklie? Gee, no way. Whatever gave you that idea? ^_-

Enjoy! ^^