Fakers
I was out shopping today and I was in such a good mood. I hadn't even kicked a puppy yet and I'd only scowled at half a dozen people so far. I think that's a record! What a deceptively pleasant way to start my day!

So I went into Bath and Body Works and when I walked in, one of the employees immediately looked me in the eye and then asked me how my day was going.

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME WE HAVE SOME SORT OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP. UNLESS YOU'RE MY MOTHER OR MY LOVER, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO USE ANY WORDS NOT PRINTED ON MY LIST OF APPROVED PRONOUNS. YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

I am just so fucking disgusted with going into places and having employees use pleasant, warm words with me all the time like it is some sort of acceptable behavior. None of them have ever ONCE apologized for it! They think they're so smart, but I can totally see through their smiley happy bullshit. I know their secret double-language of hate that they use to get passive-aggressive revenge on customers. Like just then, when she asked how my day was going, she really meant "I hope spiders lay eggs in your facial orifices at night." When they call you ma'am, they really mean "you decrepit pile of excrement." They mean it extra hard if they smile while they say it. Maybe I'll write a tutorial one day.

Guhhhhh why is the world such a miserable, mean place full of such unhappy creatures?? I don't understand!