Hobo recipes. Another one of Brian's favorites, because he is a fan of HOT SAUCE. This is probably his most requested. The sauce is mustard-based, and can be used for chicken or pork. Chicken quarters are always 99cint at the Giant Ego. I just bought 5 lbs of assorted pork chops for 8 bucks. Damn. As always, I don't generally cook with measurements. They're all approximations.

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Ingredients:
-2 lbs bone-in chicken or pork
-1/4 cup yellow mustard
-1 scant tsp ketchup
-1 or 2 tsp hot sauce, depending on the sauce
-1.5 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp salt
Cayenne (1 - 2 tsp) and black pepper to taste
OPTIONAL ADDITIONS - add some or all:
1/2 tsp honey or sugar
1 tsp smoked paprika (tastes like chorizo if you're unfamiliar. Badia makes it, and I think McCormick just started to carry it).

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1. Preheat oven to 380 degrees. Wash the meat and brine it if you have the time. If not, sprinkle with salt while you make the sauce.
2. Mix wet ingredients, then add dry. Mix well. Add red wine vinegar or sugar if sauce lacks cohesion.
3. Spread on meat. Place meat in shallow baking dish and pop in preheated oven. Pork will take as little as 20 minutes based on the cut and thickness. Chicken will take maybe 40 minutes. You can put the chicken under the broiler for a little bit, if you'd like it burny.

A word on pork: IT SHOULD BE PINK IN THE MIDDLE. Dry, tough pork is for suckers and pansies. Pork chops are supposed to be juicy, succulent, and not un-delicious. I hate when people overcook pork. That and tuna steaks. Ugh! So gross.

Kandas has mentioned homefires, so I will bring this up. You want a pretty, dark browning burniness to them, without tasting "cajun." For that carmelized look, I carmelize worstershire sauce on the potatoes toward the end, and it comes out looking very attractive, and tasting awesome. Brian said, "WOW THESE LOOK LIKE THEYRE FROM A FANCY BRUNCH AT A NICE RESTAURANT!" Then hewent through 10 lbs of potatoes by himself in 2 weeks. No joke. Potatoes you can buy in a 5lb bag for $3. I prefer red or yukon gold. Red typically cost less. Potatoes you need to keep out of the light when you store them fyi. You can also use sweet potatoes or a mix, but sweet potatoes behave slightly differently because they're less starchy. They still taste great. I typically add a little brown sugar and less worstershire.
Onions are the same way. They keep, and are cheap when you buy a bag. f that 99 cents per lb.
Green onions are 55 cent and the Krogertron.
Butter and/or oil. You can use olive, but be aware that it has a lower smoke point than other oils so...
WORSTERSHIRE SAUCE. It's in your pantry. Just go look. Surprise! We had this?

Ingredients:

3 or so medium potatoes, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
Onions cut into strips not so thick
a short tbsp of butter and/or oil/bacon grease
Salt to taste
Optional, I guess:
~1/2 a green onion, cut up, green parts prefered

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Method:
Melt the butter in a large skillet over med-high heat. Coat the bottom of the pan. When it hot, but before it begins to burn, toss in the potatoes. Allow the bottoms to brown, about 4 minutes. Put in the onions, Turn the potatoes over however you think is easiest, so other sides are being browned. This time, it will take less time for them to brown. Turn down the heat to medium, and turn again. After three turns, or until the potatoes are adequately soft, splash a few dabs of worstershire sauce in the pan and swirl it over the potates. While it is hissing, stir the potatoes in the carmelizing sauce. Turn off the fire when they look fucking delicious, and gild the lily by tossing in your green onions, which will wilt a little because of the heat. Can be kept in a warm oven until time to serve.

I have been considering writing a list of recipes I use since I am one broke-ass bitch. Not only am I broke, I have a lot of time on my hands. From the recession. So, if time is money, I got one hell of a bail-out. It's also called a "lay-off." So, Time + no dough + tastes that demand a bit more = making everything fresh and from scratch with cheap ingredients. I went through a tin of baking powder in 3 months. Nutty!
Also consider: Stuff you can make from leftovers
stuff people typically buy, but you can make yourself.

In any case, if anyone is still here, I'd love to hear your moth-in-the-wallet recipes, and I will post my own, possibly along with how much shit cost.

Happy trails, my okie amigos

I really like pickled beets. I've eaten enough to make myself sick (probably from the acidity). Am I weird?

1 bunch (4 or 5) beets
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1 Tbsp sugar
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
Salt and pepper

Cut beets to uniform sizes so they will cook evenly. Steam or boil around 30 minutes or until done. (Alternatively, you can roast them by wrapping them whole in foil and cooking them in a 350°F oven for about an hour.) A fork easily inserted into the beet will tell you if the beets are done or not. Drain the beets, rinsing them in cold water. Use your fingers to slip the peels off of the beets. The peels should come off easily. Discard the peels. Slice the beets.

Make the vinaigrette by combining the cider vinegar, sugar, olive oil, and dry mustard. Whisk ingredients together with a fork. The dry mustard will help to emulsify the vinaigrette. Adjust to taste. Add salt and pepper to taste. Combine beets and vinaigrette in a bowl and allow to marinate for a half hour at room temperature.

It's a hearty yeast bread, that is okay. I always add gluten, because I like it doughy, but Michelle could modify it, I think, and have it the way its supposed to be, sort of. Hm. I just didn't want to lose it.

Yield: 2 round loaves

2 Envelopes Active Dry Yeast
2 Cups Warm Water (100-110 degrees)
2/3 cup olive oil
3 tbsp sugar
3 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
2 tsp salt
2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp dried basil
2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 cup bread flour

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Dissolve Yeast in warm water in large bowl. Add oil, sugar, and whole wheat flour. Mix until smooth. Let sponge rest 20 minutes. Mix down; add salt, parm, spices. Stir in enough bread flour to make dough easy to handle. Knead until smooth and elastic (10 minutes about). Shape into 2 rounds. Place dough on greased baking sheets. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size (45 minutes?). Bake at 350 for 30 to 35 minutes. Cool on wire rack.

Irish Soda Bread
A very easy bread to make. Takes a bit of time to bake, though. A little bland, but tastes better after it's been sitting for a bit. Lovely for TEA TOIME, or maybe St. Patty's day to accompany your kegs n eggs.

Ingredients:

• 3 cups flour


• 1 tbsp. baking powder


• 1/2 cup sugar


• 1 tsp salt


• 1 tsp baking soda


• 1 egg


• 2 cups buttermilk


• 1/4 cup melted butter


• 1/2 cup or so raisins

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Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325°, grease a loaf pan.


2. Combine in a big bowl: all dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, baking soda). In a seperate, more medium-sized bowl, lightly beat the egg, and mix in the buttermilk.


3. Mix wet mixture to dry mixture. Mix in butter and raisins.


4. Pour into greased pan. It won't rise a huge amount, so don't get antsy. Bake 65-70 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out "clean."

"Asian Tuna Patties"
They make a good sandwich or alone. Sort of like the poor slob's croquettes. Tasty, easy. Sort of like making meatloaf.
Yield: about 6 burger-sized patties.
Ingredients:

• 3 cans of tuna


• 2 smallish eggs or 1.5 eggs, beaten


• 5 minced green onions


• 1 cup and 2 tbsp bread crumbs (seasoned or not, whutevah)


• 2 cloves garlic, minced (or pressed if you have the technology)


• 2 tbsp soy sauce


• 2 tbsp teriyaki sauce


• 2 tbsp ketchup


• 1.5 tsp sesame oil (not entirely necessary, but nice)


• 1.5 tsp black pepper

and .......

• oil for frying

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Directions:

1. In a sizeable bowl, mix the tuna, egg, bread crumbs, onions, and garlic. Add the rest of the ingredients. Form mixture into patties, about 1" thick.


2. Heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Fry each patty until golden brown (about 5 minutes on either side).

I made this today, just for myself. Smells real nice in the oven, tastes just as nice.

2 garlic cloves, minced
3 or 4 tomatoes (M-L), sliced
about 2/5 cup of seasoned bread crumbs.
a lot of shredded parm
1 1/2 tsp basil
pepper
olive oil

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1. preheat the oven to 375 degrees.


2. Lightly oil a glass pie pan or 8X8 baking dish. Lay the tomatoes in one over the other's side, along the sides of the dish, and in the middle.


3. In a bowl, mix the breadcrumbs, shredded parm, basil, a little pepper, and garlic. Spoon it over the top of the tomatoes. Maybe sprinkle on a little more parm, just to be safe (CHEESE IS GOOD).


4. Leave it in the oven for about 15 minutes, and poke the tomatoes with a fork to see if they're soft, but not too soft. The bread crumbs and cheese should have browned a bit, and there is most likely going to be some water in the bottom of the dish.

I'm a big fan of bread pudding.
This recipe is for a deep-dish pie pan or an 8x8 baking dish. Easy, easy.

You will need:
3/4 cup sugar
2 cups milk
4 eggs
1 1/2 cinnamon
bourbon (optional, but highly reccomended)
raisins (also optional, but comeon. raisins.)
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp melted butter
a loaf of challa, brioche, or some other, hardy old bread. stale-ish.

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1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.


2. Grease the pan with a little bit of butter. Not the melted butter. Toss in some raisins on the bottom.


3. Cube up some bread and put it in the pan. Enough to fill it. Pour the melted butter over the top.


4. Beat the 4 eggs in a big bowl, and add the sugar, milk, vanilla, and cinnamon. Also add a splash of bourbon. A splash. Certainly less than a shot. Mix it all up.


5. Pour it all over the top of the bread, pushing down the little dry pieces so they get soaked. Sprinkle more raisins over the top.


6. Bake for 45 minutes

( two pictures )

Brian likes these a lot. He previously hated pork chops, but now he requests them. How fortuitous that they were $1.99/lb in Boston. Note: they take an hour about, including cooking time.
Another note: They dry out really easily, so watch that clock. I take measures in this recipe to prevent them from drying.

You will need:
-Aluminum foil
-rosemary (of course. It's me)
-Pork chops (preferably boneless center-cut, but whatev)
-bread crumbs (preferably seasoned)
-pepper
-butter
-parmigian cheese
-one egg

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OK.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.


2. Prep: Beat the egg in a bowl. Sprinkle bread crumbs on a plate. Add: a lot of rosemary. As far as I'm concerned, the more, the better. Also throw in some pepper, and mix up the bread crumbs and added spices. Make a pan out of aluminum foil that just fits the chops in with a little bit of room (picture below). It's so that the juices don't run away while cooking like you'd have in a bigger pan. OR if you have a baking dish that's the right size, you're golden. Anyway, grease it slightly with butter. Put the aluminum pan on a cookie sheet.


3. Breading: Dip the chops in the egg, then in the bread crumbs. Put them in your little homemade pan.


4. Dressing: You probably want to sprinkle a bit more rosemary on there, just in case. Then sprinkle on the parmigian. Lay that shit on there good, if you like cheese like I do. It'll get all burney on top. Cut thin slices of butter, and lay them around the tops of the chops. This is so they don't dry out as easily.


5. Throw them in the oven, and let them sit for about 45 minutes.

The end! Serve them with rice. The crud in the bottom of the pan is really good over rice. Fatts and I fight over it. Why do you think I call him Fatts?
( How they should look before they go into the oven )

This is pretty tasty appetizer or hors d'ouevre, and you really can't fuck it up, unless you're a complete retard.

You will need:
a muffin tin
two diced fresh tomatoes
one diced onion
some cooked slices of bacon... like 6
salt
basil - fresh or not
rosemary
some sort of shredded cheese - cheddar, swiss, parmigian, colby, a mix... whatever
two packages of buttermilk biscuits... the big ones.
a little mayo

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This will yield ummm... what. 32 cups?

• Preheat the oven to like... 365 degrees and if the muffin tin isn't non-stick, then grease it.


• In a large bowl, combine the onion and tomato and crumble the bacon into it. Add a "blop" of mayo in there. It's ok without mayo, so maybe 2 tbsp is good.


• This is where I go by taste. I add a lot of basil in there, a little bit of rosemary, and salt to taste. Add a handful of cheese to the mixture. It's going to melt and be gooey. So if you like melted cheese, add more. You'll see. Mix it all up and taste it. It's good raw.


• Cut the biscuits in half lengthwise, so they're still round, just thinner. Stretch them out a bit and fit them into the muffin tin, so they make little cups, which you fill up with the tomato and onion mixture.


• Pop the filled cups into the oven and wait on them for about 11 minutes, or until the crust has risen up, and turned biscuit brown.

That's all. They're best still warm, but definitely not as good old and refrigerated.

I will give y'all my favorite recipe (and the one i'm best at cooking)
PICADILLO

2 med onions, finely chopped
2 lg green peppers, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 lb ground beef
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp celery salt
1/4 tsp dried whole oregano
1/4 tsp pepper
2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 (8 oz) can tomato sauce
1 (16 oz) can whole tomatoes undrained chopped
1 (3oz) jar pimiento-stuffed olives, drained
1/2 cup raisins

Saute onions, peppers and garlic in hot oil in skillet until tender. Add beef. Cook until browned; stir to crumble. Drain. Add salt and next 8 ingredients; stir well. Cover. Simmer (at least) 30 minutes; stir occasionally. Serve over yellow or white rice.

Challah Bread French toast.

I found challah bread at the Pig, and after I shit my pants, I made french toast. What the shit, Jewish bread in Rural east Tennessee? YES.

Of course, you use the usual french toast goo method: cinnamon, egg, milk, vanilla.
I also sprinkle cinnamon on the top while it's cooking.

The thing about making french toast with challah is that you have to make sure it's saturated with the stuff, and since the slices are generally cut pretty thick, you have to turn the burner down somewhere between medium and medium-low. If you do saturate it (stabbing the slices of bread with a fork while it soaks in the batter works), one slice will generally take up one egg on its own, more or less.

fuck yeah ok