Crochet Snark

Oh my word...

2008-08-22T02:41:28Z

This post.

It's a shame the poor lady got robbed. Except, you know, Lion Brand is NOT a suitable replacement for high-end yarn. Really now. What made you think that was acceptable? Besides which, if she was a smart business owner, she likely has insurance and whatnot that, with appropriate police reports and information about the value of the goods stolen, will pay to have her stock replaced.

Still.

Sending a LYS owner Lion. Brand. to replace high-end yarn.

For fuck's sake.

ETA: At least the commenters have put sense into her head. Still.

It's all the phrasing.

2008-08-19T20:35:53Z

Picture to go along with the text.

Let me say, before I get into the phrasing issue I think this piece has, that I actually find the piece itself pretty nice. It looks like it fits, and while I'm not wild about the double ruffle, I don't find it completely overwhelming. The color combo is pleasant as well.

My issue with this piece is all about the description:

This crocheted top is easy enough for anyone to make! Tiny cable twists create exquisite shaping without fancy calculations. Featuring the debut of The Crochet Dude's color combo called "Drewbilation" from Tilli Tomas.

It's the term "fancy calculations" used in a way that sounds rude in my head. What are these "fancy calculations" the Crochet Dude speaks of? Where do they come from? Because, for me, all the calculations in crochet are pretty simple. I get X stitches per inch. I need something that is Y stitches around. X(Y)=number of stitches I need. That's basic pre-Algebra.

I think one of the biggest issues with crochet and garments is the lack of crocheters wanting to multiply a few simple numbers. By labeling said simple numbers as "fancy calculations", I feel like the guy is giving crocheters permission to continue to ignore the very simple math that could take their boxy sweater to a lovely top.

The most aggravating part about this is the pattern designer had to use some form of math to get the numbers needed to fit the top on the model. Which leads me into wondering if the back of that thing is actually done.

On a related sidenote, for a guy that likes going by "Crochet Dude", he sure does love naming his stuff after himself. [The yarn color blend is "Drewbilation", and he has a set of "Drew-String" purse patterns for sale.]

Crochet "Art"

2008-08-06T01:41:13Z

Why? Just WHY?

I agree with the commenters on that article. It seems to serve no useful purpose other than stroking the artist's ego. Looking at that without knowing the backstory, I'd be going, "Why the fuck is that gas station covered in crochet?"

I really wonder why people undertake these projects. Wouldn't it be more useful to whatever position you were trying to promote with these projects to make something that would actually physically help your cause?

I know it's post-modern and all, but...

2008-06-15T19:08:03Z

I just don't get it. While the poster was saving up plastic bags "for a long time", she could have been using an already-made reusable one. Sorry, OP, I know you're probably on here; if you feel like it, maybe you or another plastic-bag-crocheter can explain the desire.

crochet_snark @ 2008-05-26T23:59:00

2008-05-27T04:59:45Z

cluck here

you can thank me later.

Man in Drag ....oh wait, nope.

2008-04-18T23:51:02Z

Ok, I'm sorry if I offend anyone but at first glance I seriously thought this was a man and was wondering when Interweave started crocheting for drag queens. LOL, this is just hideous! And probably not something any self respecting drag queen would be caught dead in.
http://www.knittingdaily.com/freepatterns/crochet/crochet_ribbon_bolero_289-1.html This just gave me the giggles for some reason.

crochet_snark @ 2008-01-30T07:08:00

2008-01-30T13:14:58Z

Chloe - you know I love you.

It's a great sweater pattern, if you change it completely

Kim says of this sweater "Finally, if it wasn't made apparent by this post, this is an excellent pattern for modifying! I recommend it as a first sweater pattern, since it's so straightforward, and certainly as a first modification pattern, again because it's so straightforward. Rock."

What is so good about "straightforward" if the fit sucks and you need to do all the math yourself? Obviously, it wasn't sized properly because No Women have back widths equal to their front widths, not even women with mastectomies. Sure, a very small-busted woman might not notice the ill fit as much as a large-busted woman, but this sweater is a box with a tube on top - and that's EXACTLY how it will fit.

You'd think beginners would want a pattern that is, perhaps, less "straightforward" yet needs no modifications...

I think this sweater was a great try at designing. I don't think it's of publishable quality as a clothing pattern, though. Too bad crochet publishing standards are this low - otherwise the designer might've been inspired to do better. As it is - why bother, when this pattern is better than many others crochet patterns out there...?**

If I am going to take the time to make myself clothing, it needs to fit as good as something I bought couture and had tailored to my body. That, to me, is the whole point of making my own clothing - getting the quality I could not otherwise afford.

**Which might explain why knitting is "cooler". There is a wealth of gorgeous and well-fitting knit sweater patterns. Too bad crochet designers don't seem to have the same respect of their own art.

ick, on so many levels

2008-01-17T18:05:44Z

Sometimes I want to post things to my Ravelry queue just for a joke, to see if anyone notices. But I run the chance of someone thinking I'm... serious. Like this:

Harvest Moon

What we have here is Scarlett O'Hara's Halloween costume.

crochet_snark @ 2007-12-01T01:47:00

2007-12-01T01:50:09Z

From: http://community.livejournal.com/crochetcrochet/412908.html

So I've been seeing alot of "fat bottom bags" from the "Happy hooker" lately and I would really love to make one, however, I don't really see anything else I like from the book. I don't particularly want to buy an entire book for just one pattern.
I was wondering if anyone who has the pattern would like to trade the pattern for something I have?

Other than the obvious copyright infringement, 'alot' is actually 2 words. ;p

Umm...

2007-11-26T20:00:54Z

WHAT?

http://www.interweavecrochet.com/issue/materials_win07.asp#murphy

My guess would be that they couldn't get anyone to model this, so they photoshopped it onto this lady.

There are actually a few lovely things in this issue--the Ukrainian bag is probably my favorite--but a few of them are really horrifying. I almost think I'd rather see ponchos.

just what we need..

2007-11-16T17:00:29Z

..ANOTHER book full of CHIC and STUNNING crocheted afghans, ponchos and teddy bear patterns.. oh yeah, and a SEXY cardigan sweater, too. yay!

http://www.doverpublications.com/sampler/1116/sample7e.htm

apple cozy

2007-10-10T17:22:32Z

Here it is gang, in all it's glory. Snark away, because when I make my fortune off of this <LOL>, I'll be writing this group on a souped up laptop that I will "trick out" with "Hello Kitty" stickers.
see my blog for more details - if you dare

http://crochetinglessons.blogspot.com/

Yikes...

2007-10-04T00:25:41Z

Let's just say there's a very, very, VERY good reason that you won't see anyone with anything like it...

Not sure which half is worse...

apple jacket?

2007-09-07T03:41:27Z

my apple is cold :(
does anyone know where I can find a crochet pattern for something like this?

http://store.roseandradish.com/product-exec/product_id/1596/nm/Jacqueline_Dufresne_Apple_Jacket

Lexy? Lexy who?

2007-08-25T17:39:23Z

Maybe if that skinny bitch would eat a WHOLE bagel that HAT wouldn't look like it was gonna eat HER!

The baby is cute but.............

2007-08-21T19:56:30Z

I love this lady & her blog but this outfit she has put her kid in...............so sad.
http://www.mightygirl.net/

crochet_snark @ 2007-08-11T20:11:00

2007-08-12T00:12:09Z

You know what this dog needs? A sweater made out of a potholder.

And now, the eternal question:

2007-08-11T03:28:57Z

Is the vest actually crocheted unevenly, or was the photographer just too absent-minded to notice?

Secondly, is it me, or are the arm holes completely different sizes? It looks like two people each made a side and then stitched them together.

Uhhhh......

2007-06-21T20:23:41Z

Two words:

Twiddly Toes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyI_aueGvho

crochet_snark @ 2007-06-15T20:22:00

2007-06-16T03:22:36Z

you people are slacking, i waited all day for you :(

http://community.livejournal.com/crochetcrochet/302943.html

not crochet, but I cant keep the snark down..

2007-06-09T22:27:02Z

so, did anyone else notice that today is midnight sky fibers' birthday?
gee daaaamn, talk about spam!

You know that rule about removing one accessory before leaving the house?

2007-06-07T21:09:25Z

I think it could be applied here, except replace "accessory" with "at least three or four of those embellishments".

It looks like someone just vomited motifs all over the work.

Proof, once again, that if Kim wants something done right, she has other people handle it.

2007-05-19T06:13:01Z

Poor widdle crochetme needs a server upgrade, and rather than just ask for donations, Kim's getting everyone else to do the work for her yet again.

I'm pretty sure moments like this were the reason PayPal donation buttons were invented. Of course, Kim being Kim, it's got to be all about how she can get talented people to make her look good.

My eyes!

2007-04-27T20:13:35Z

This scarf is a pretty pattern and well made, but does the color make anyone else's eyes bleed?

[Edit: Apparently not. Well, I could delete the post, or I could leave it here and let everyone snark me back. :-) ]

crochet_snark @ 2007-04-03T09:01:00

2007-04-03T14:06:12Z

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this snark coming from the woman who said "In my very own, very personal opinion, blog snark is so last year. Snark is lazy feedback."...

hmmm....

maybe it's not snark because she wasn't funny?