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[ |
August 29th,
2009 & 11:45 pm
| ] |
i made a list and then promptly lost it. frigsakes! thats so typical of me. goddangit! forget exactly what was on my list but i got samantha her backpack and shoes. they were all out of lunch boxes. owell. we'll make due with what we got initially then see if i can find anything next week. maybe they'll get another shipment, who knows. lindsay still needs a new sweater jacket, but i didn't like what they had at walmart in her size. i'm ganna have to go to Bonnie Togs tomorrow maybe to have a look. now i have no idea if the shoes i have on hand will still fit the twins or if i have to go new for them as well... actually i have a new pair kicking around for michael but i can only find one shoe. figures! don't even know if they'd fit him anyway. they're all growing like a bunch of bad weeds! lol
people were irritating the living CRAP outta me out there at walmart tonight. taht probably goes wihtout saying--they always do. but i could've just screamed! instead i did so under my breath while rattling the cart side to side like a raging lunatic! Samantha was telling to me to calm down and to instead take it out on dad when we got home. BWAHAHAHAHAHA she can be so funny sometimes. DEAD ON but funny. lol
anyways, i still feel like that--like screaming... crying... having a breakdown... falling apart. ::sigh:: i hate living in a house thats tore apart and in such disaray. tripping over shit. cats pissing and shitting everywhere but where they should. i hate not having any money and still worrying about getting food for lunches and everything else for the rest of the week. i'm ganna get bombarded with orders for this that and the other from school next week and so the juggling act begins. i've already started to drill into samanthas head to NOT give me bloody hell on school mornings! THAT WILL certainly send me over the deep end.
my mission this weekend:
-sort thru the clothes and figure out whats school-worthy.
-get the twins to try on the shoes and see if they still fit. (then i guess buy new if they don't. *grief* :-/)
-search high and low for the missing shoe!
-clear out the areas that will be home for their backbacks and such to hopefully make school mornings go smoother.
-clean out the file folder and get that ready for another year of random paper shit.
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-
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i should be in bed. i'm exhausted. but i seriously need a diet coke like YESTERDAY! i meant to get one at walmart but like i said, people were pissing me off and i forgot--OF COURSE! like i forget EVERYTHING!
heres a picture i ttok fo samantha enroute to the library this afternoon:
and then another one of her while at the library after she had picked out some books:
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| OOH, SHINY. |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 10:24 pm
| ] |
So now my computer is getting flattened.
Oh well, at least everything's backed up.
p.s. MY DAD GOT AN IPHONE. I named it Edward.
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| Home again. |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 8:50 pm
| ] |
there's a part of me you'll never know
the only thing i'll never show
Hopelessly i'll love you Endlessly
hopelessly i'll give you everything
but i won't give you up
i won't let you down
and i won't leave you f a l l i n g
if the moment ever comes
it's plain to see it's trying to speak
cherished dreams forever asleep
Hopelessly i'll love you Endlessly
hopelessly i'll give you everything
but i won't give you up
i won't let you down
and i won't leave you f a l l i n g
if the moment ever comes
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[ |
June 29th,
2008 & 4:24 pm
| ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
So I'm really annoyed and pissed off that I come to find that Cori, a girl who I THOUGHT was my friend had told my Mom and whoever else that was near by that I'm really bossy and that Tyler and I fight all the time.
WTF????
Who the fuck has the right to say any kind of that shit to me or ABOUT me?!
The 2 or 3 times we were around them, we didn't fight. I'm sorry if we disagree sometimes, that doesn't mean we're FIGHTING. We barely fight and even if we DID fight all the time, ITS NONE OF HER GODDAMN BUSINESS NOR ANYONE ELSES! what a fucking bitch!!
I deleted her and Jake off my myspace, phone and won't look or talk to them. They both can kiss my fucking ass. I'm not the one who fucking acts like I'm better then everyone and like I'm a stuck up snobby bitch. Jake thinks hes fucking smarter then everyone else and so much better at cooking and taking care of animals and all that bullshit.
"Jake says this Jake says that!" I'm sorry he doesn't know SHIT!!!
They both can go to fucking hell. Stupid backstabbing fake faggot bitches.
On another note. I'm so glad its a three day weekend!! Hopefully I can get things done around here, I need to.
Tyler is looking for housing in Vegas. We'll see how that goes.
My sister is pregnant. God help us all now.
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| Low Blow |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 1:05 pm
| ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. After wiretaps and torturing and everything else we've put up with for the past eight years, I really shouldn't be surprised by anything the Republicans do any more.
But WTF, McCain?
I was already pissed the hell off about the "Well, why didn't he pick Hillary?" attack ad the day after Obama picked Biden. Anyone with a cortex knows why he didn't...it would be an incredibly stupid move on Obama's part. But still they ran the attack ad not so much to "attack" his personality or question his platform, but just to rile up all the Hillary supporters who were so butthurt after the primaries that some said they'd rather vote Republican than vote for Obama (which is incredibly retarded).
Now, he makes his big VP announcement. And he goes off in left field and picks a woman just for the sake of her having girl parts. I'm sure she's got some political experience...it's not like he picked Paris Hilton or anything...but c'mon, people! He picked a woman specifically to rub it in. He's trying to keep Hillary in the spotlight as much as he can, because he can't stand on his own and can't tear Obama down any. His only hope is to keep reminding Hillary's people that Obama is the meanie that didn't put their Messiah on the ticket. His commercials are doing so directly. His choice of a female VP candidate does so indirectly, because everytime someone sees that they're going to remember that "it shoulda been Clinton."
That was a low down, dirty move. And it pisses me the fuck off.
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| Love....Love...Love |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 1:54 pm
| ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
Theatre is love.
The End
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| Who wants to do the apple? |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 10:29 am
| ] |
Right, so I'm now lying out from Seattle on the 5th apparently. Was the best dael we could get.
Quite amusingly, getting the deal involved booking a return flight to New York on the 28th of October.
So apparently I'm now going to New York on the 28th of October. So heres y qeustion.
Who wants to go shopping in The Big Apple at the end of October bigging of November? Good place to get all the Xmas shopping done!
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| Illuminating the fog that surrounds me... |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 11:42 am
| ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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HYDE - JESUS CHRIST | Scrobbled by Last.fm |
] |
I always said the Universe is waiting to give you the things you want; that you just have to give an honest voice to it.
I was able to sleep in till 9:30 (although I would have enjoyed a much later wake-up) and aside from having to go the post office and bank for Mom and the pharmacy for Ron, I am able to spend today as I wish. I'm planning on going to the bookstore/coffee shop and just hang out. I'm even thinking of taking some stationary to write letters and my journal to write to myself.
I know my last entry was full of contradictions and I understand that when I'm like that, it's difficult to provide friendly support. But I am doing well, honestly. Feeling useful and being helpful is important to me, even if it takes everything out of me. And my usual depression is shoved down to the bottom of my mind with a label saying "To deal with later" on it. It hasn't been resolved, but it's not coloring my world as it usually does. Not ideal, but that will do.
First on the agenda is updating my mp3 player-- which is a daunting task. I realized I haven't updated it at all since the beginning of the year. And then a nice, long shower (I found a lovely lavender-scented body wash).
I deserve today after the last few weeks I've had. And I intend to milk it for all it's worth. ^_^
And this entry entitled "Seven Real Life Lessons We Learned From L'Arc~en~Ciel" made me squee quietly and thank the Universe I found L'arc, Hyde and the fandom.
And I can't get over how this song sounds so much like a Muse song...
And once again, I have noticed I have no where enough happy icons.
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| dems are sexist, repubs are racist |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 11:03 am
| ] |
I have been reluctant to jump aboard the McCain Train but choosing Sarah Palin will definitely not let me down. Perhaps the Obama campaign will say that Palin is inexperienced because of one year as governor. Well pot, meet kettle- you're half black.
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| Obama’s Speech from last night |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 9:46 am
| ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
We were dead tired and missed it so I just watched it. I thought it was pretty damn good. I knew it would be he's a great speaker. I just hope he wins and can really make the changes he talked about. I know so many people that are barely getting by even with two people in a family working. I really feel like we need change in leadership, not more of the same. Here's the vid if any of yall want to watch it.
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| I kan has sleep nao? |
[ |
August 29th,
2008 & 2:28 am
| ] |
| [ |
music |
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I was listening to Emilie Autumn... |
] |
I can't sleep because I have to pee every five minutes. Less than that actually. That's a bad bit of luck right there. I guess that is what I get for downing two bottles of water in less than two hours.
I don't post here nearly enough, yet I have 2039483209482309482390483097520934875093485709384789032753094274038703298750984759082435783902475034897504398758934 things to say. Lame. There will be an uber picture post soon, though. I can assure you all of that! I BET YOU PEOPLE CAN'T WAIT!!!
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| Well shit... |
[ |
August 28th,
2008 & 9:16 pm
| ] |
I've used that subject before I know but I feel its particularly relevant.
As some of you may have heard, Flyzoom.com the airline I was booked to fly home with have gone bankrupt so yeah... I'm sort of theoretically stranded here now.
Obviously I'm not, I can get a new flight, but I might be slightly delayed I guess. More news when I know.
In other news ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) annwfyn came to Vancouver for a couple of days and I showed her around Granville Island and the city. I have the next four days working on the island, then I WAS going to take the rest off. I may end up working a few more though now depending on how long I have to stay.
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| i haven't done a meme in ages.... |
[ |
August 28th,
2009 & 11:33 pm
| ] |
How well do you know your spouse.
1. Sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Most likely either the Discovery channel or the History channel....more likely the History channel.
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does s/he get on her/his salad?
He would NEVER have salad.
3. What's one food s/he doesn't like?
Rice! he's not big on pasta either, but he particularly depsises rice.
4. You go out to the bar. What does s/he order?
Beer.
5. Where did s/he go to high school?
Huron Park Secondary here in town.
6. What size shoe does s/he wear?
12
7. If s/he was to collect anything, what would it be?
HO scale train stuff.
8. What is her/his favorite type of sandwich?
he's not big on sandwiches..unless its subway. lol but nothing in particular really....
9. What would this person eat every day if s/he could?
PIZZA!
10. What is her/his favourite cereal?
He doesn't eat cereal.
11. What would s/he never wear?
boxer shorts! lol
12. What is her/his favourite sports team?
doesn't have one....but if he had to pick one, maybe the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team.
13. Who will s/he vote for?
N/A (we're Canadian eh!)
14. Who is her/his best friend?
Steve.
15. What is something you do that s/he wishes you wouldn't do?
hmmmm.....not sure on this one....
16. How many states has s/he lived in?
Nada! Ontario Canada
17. What is her/his heritage?
Irish
18. You bake her/him a cake for her/his birthday; what kind of cake?
Cheesecake! :-P
19. Did s/he play sports in high school?
Basketball
20. What could s/he spend hours doing?
playing computer games...fiddling with his trains...
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| Out lately |
[ |
August 28th,
2008 & 11:32 pm
| ] |
A while ago I tried going somewher but couldn't get there, because I would have to wait nearly an hour for the next bus so I tried walking and got lost and just ended up finding the main line way offbase and going home. Very depressed about that. I should probably call and apologize for standing up... blah.
Today I got where I needed to be but I forgot my ID and I didn't have enough money :( Bonus is I got to be around some cute girls. One was 18 (I heard her telling her mom this) and really short and slight and had this soft quiet voice, I was all mentally "eeeee". Second was this midget lady (you can also call her a little girl) who looked to be around 30 and she was with her boyfriend and I kept like... looking at her... lol. When we got on the bus he slapped her ass and she giggled! She had this really odd-sounding voice too, abnormal in a good way...
Anyway they eventually got off and this girl in a wheelchair got on, she reminded me of this girl who used to host 'The Zone' on YTV. She was cute but I don't flirt with girls even though we got off on the same spot and I was originally standing right where she was getting on... I moved because I thought she needed to go there but she went on the opposite side so if had stayed there I could have been closer! But like... when they load the wheelchairs on it is all like... awkward and you don't want to feel in the way and stuff and it'd be weird if you were asked to move so you do it ahead of time.
So anyway... ARG NEED ROMANCE OR SOMETHING
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[ |
August 28th,
2009 & 10:32 pm
| ] |
ok, maybe the reason i've been so reluctant to get off the couch today, and why at least a couple times this evening i've been on the brink of tears all makes sense now......
....i just got my damn period! FUCKKKKKKKKKK!
maybe it doesn't help either when samantha tells me about how a friend of hers parents are so rich that that have a huge flatscreen tv in their basement and that a huge bedroom and that her friend has 2 big bins (as in large rubbermade tubs) full of polly pockets and that about 1/2 of the amount of stuffies (stuffed animals) that samantha has--which is alot btw--her friend has about 1/2 that amount in WEBKINS! oooookayyyyyyy, that made me feel alittle bit like shit, just a little tho. (btw, samantha just bought her very first wenkins a couple weeks ago with her own money that she saved.) so i told her that we do the best we can for her on teh twins, and she cut me off, saying that she knows and that she doesn't have a problem with that--she was completely mature about it, weird! btu what apparently her point was that it was way over the top.
*raises eyebrow* yah riiiight.
ok, i doubt that a little...
but anyway, then i asked her if their house was clean? and she said yes it was. actually her exact reply was "Very!" lol then i kinda snapped sayin that HER kids likely aren't a bunch of ANIMALS! they likely clean up very well after themselves UNLIKE YOU GUYS! (then also it would help too that they both have very good paying jobs at the same place that they both work the continental shift at, giving them like 4 days off a week and loads of cash.)
::grumblegroan::
*tells self thats the hormones speaking* lol
my face is a MESS! my heel on right foot has cracked! it never usually does that except for in the winter--WTH? i'm incredibly bloated! (well its either that or the 2 containers of chocolate bars i ate over the past week....i'm hoping i'm just bloated. lol) my hair is several months past due for much needed cut and style. on a show tonight there was mention of some woman having hair was for too long ofr her age. *snort* i am painfully aware then in that case, my 'do is far from age-appropriate. LMAO i've been aware of this for quite sometime now, its just so hard for me to part with it. plus on a good hair day, i really don;t think it looks that bad on me. maybe i'm completely dillusional but i think i can pull it off. ...on a good hair day that is. most days tho, i'd just be lost without my ponytail. my nice, long ponytail.
yah i wish i had more money tho.... but despite that lack of it, i know i do good by my kids, and i also know that they're pretty terrific because they love me tremendously. ..they're just good kids with bad habits. LMAO (aren't we all? ;-))
OK! Now i KNOW i'm hormonal! sheesh.
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| Tweets for the Day |
[ |
August 28th,
2008 & 10:01 pm
| ] |
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Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
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[ |
August 28th,
2009 & 9:14 pm
| ] |
i just checked and that new Dexter book--Dexter By Design doesn't come out until Feb. 2009. That stinks. i'm positive that at one point i had read it would be out this month. owell. maybe we'll go to the library tomorrow and i can check out the Post Secret book thay have....
its garbage and recycling tonight....i'll likely forget tho....
i have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO incredibly lazy today. holy doodles. don't wanna do NUTHIN! i've found the couch to be most cumfahtabulz. i think i watched something like 6 CSI episodes on Spike. lol GAHHHhhhhh
my house is a mess: the laundry is piled sky high and i have run out of dryer sheets.....(i ran out yesterday to be honest! lol)
Still haven't shopped for the kids' school stuff.
looks like we're not doing anything this weekend. Gord had hinted at camping at Londons Fanshaw conservation area again since the same site we had as last time was still available, but i seriously think i've had my fill on camping... we may get one more weekend in before the season is over--which i anticipate will be COLD! just like last year, but the kids love it irrigardless, and plus it helps get our money's worth outta the trailer. lol nah, i'm just not ready to turn around and head back out again when we just got back basically. Plus now he was mentioning about possibly going golfing with a work buddy.
there's like nothing on tv. :-/
Bored...........
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| For every task crossed off the to-do list, two more pop up... |
[ |
August 28th,
2008 & 8:47 pm
| ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
L'Arc~en~Ciel - Niji [Album Version] | Scrobbled by Last.fm |
] |
Same old, same old. Or as Stephen King put it:
SSDD (Same shit, different day.)
I sound bitter, I know. But I'm not. Aside from feeling like I could sleep standing up with my eyes open, I don't feel much of anything. I'm too busy to focus on anything but the task ahead of me. I suppose I should be thankful for that...
I just wish I could get a day off. A whole day. Not two hours. But alas, as I have recently become quite fond of saying, I'm the Helper. It's what I do. Life doesn't feel right if I'm not bending over backward for someone or other... I almost wish I could find another way to make myself feel worth anything. But I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't feel so compelled to frickin' help everybody... And I am well aware that makes me sound like a self-imposed martyr... and maybe I am. *shrugs*
I want some time to get lost in my anime again-- I mean I've recorded over 42 hours in the last couple months and I fear I may never catch up. I want to have a nap that lasts longer than 45 minutes. I want to sleep through the night instead of running 12 hour days on three hours of sleep. I want a lazy day in which to drift between my books, the computer, the tv and my Nintendo DS. I want a night where I can drift off to sleep reading a good book instead debating with myself whether or not to even bother going to sleep since I have to be up in a few short hours.
But I can't seem to say no, because if they didn't need my help, they wouldn't ask for it. I'm the only one the three most important people in my life can turn to. And... and... Heh... I lost my train of thought... Anyway...
I've even been trying to turn to old (bad) habits, but no matter the combination or the extent of indulgence, I receive no comfort because that damn To Do list is sitting on the desk taunting me. It's strange though, I turn to the things that once brought me immense comfort and they only succeed in making me feel worse... I just want to turn off for awhile... and it seems I have forgotten how.
And our goddamn sink isn't fixed yet!!!
In short, I'm swiping a recent J-rock macro to summarize:
But despite the direction this entry took, I am doing okay. Quite well, even. Because I feel useful for once.
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