Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Cantina Roleplayers Guild's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
11:00 am [queenmidalah]	Blaine Reglia My poor wife. She's so ready to give birth. Our baby is due any day now, but seems to be taking after Laraina and I when it comes to being stubborn. Akeia is anxious to see her sibling and is doing well. My sister is helping when and where she can to help Laraina since movement is harder for her in the last stages of her pregnancy. She's sworn that she will never allow me to touch her again. I might give into that as long as she and the baby are healthy and fine. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 21st, 2009
5:53 pm [queenmidalah]	Cimemthymia Rintala Thoughts I... don't know where we are.. where we landed... there's too much pain... My head... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 17th, 2009
3:19 pm [vretallin]	Darana Cairnfell Most would say things are going well for the Empire. I might even agree if I didn't think history would only repeat itself. The Yavin temple is broken, the Jedi scattered or dead. The question now is if they will regroup elsewhere or join with the Ossuaians. Both present their own set of challenges and benefits to us, but we must not take the wait and see path. Out of it we now have 2 of their council in our grasp Alidar D'med and Maruko. For now the male D'med has a choice to make. I am curious to see what he will do. One will require a more serious compromise on his beliefs than the other will. His decision will be quite telling. Ultan is finally making a home here. Much to my surprise he has even made overatures with Darth Kyril. Though that maybe the influence of my physician. The doctor and he seem to be connecting, this too is a thing that concerns me. But ultimately I think it will prove more useful than difficult. Now I turn my attention to the last of the apprentices. Conlaed has come quite far under the influence of Lady Keres. It is time to set his trials and let him prove himself as a Sith. It is a time I see us poised on a brink ready to expand and move into the future I have sought for so long now, but without great care and diligence we will fall over that brink into our own destruction. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 2nd, 2009
11:21 pm [queenmidalah]	Midalah I... do not know what to make of this news. Two more could be alive. How do I handle any of this? Thane suggested we send royal agents to find them while we are in the Empire, but damn. I don't know if I could handle the heart break if they are gone and this was just getting my hopes up. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 28th, 2008
2:56 pm [vretallin]	Darana Cairnfell It is done. Rory Ultan is now fully inducted into my circle. He is now completely dedicated to his task and life here. Though he had little to go back to before he underwent the initiation. He refused a direct order to return to the Jedi and is thereby considered a fallen Jedi. What disturbs me is how easily he now accepts that he could die and does not care if he lives or dies. While the doctor was impressed with his easy acceptance and has taken a liking to him for this, she has failed to understand the reason behind this. I do not believe this is merely a Jedi acceptance of life and death. It feels different to me than that. It concerns me that he may pass such a blithe attitude onto my son. My challenge now is to find a reason for him to once more care about living. (Comment on this)
2:20 pm [vretallin]	Darth Traya Brin Chevarra has agreed to remain in the Empire with her husband. Perhaps agreed is to strong of a word. She asked to be with him, to take me up on the offer I provided. I am certain it is due, in no small part, of her desire to protect him from what she knows we will ultimately do. Especially if he continues to resist the offer to place him in our temple here. There will be little else I can do. But turn him I will. I will not see him die after all I have gone through to get to this point. (Comment on this)
2:16 pm [vretallin]	Selena JeQuin I'm not going to die. Well not yet anyway. Why didn't he torture me, interrogate me? He talked to me, accepted my agreement to go to the temple and even took me at my word on the answers I gave to his questions. This is nothing like what I have heard it would be. Yesterday I was certain I would die, he even told me it would be inevitable, but I would not be allowed that end just yet. Perhaps this is what his plan was. Was he trying to scare me into going to the temple? Is he manipulating me there? Regardless I am here, I now have my mission. (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
9:52 pm [darana]	Selena JeQuin Schooled by a Sith. It's true I was defensive where he did not attack and he definitely did not hesitate to point it out it. Why would he take me into the interrogation room, do nothing, then walk me to my cell. For that matter, why the Grand Inquisitor himself? Ultimately none of this matters. I will be dead by his hands soon. I must remain dispassionate when they torture me. Or he does. Acknowledge it, let go. Still a small part of me wonders if I will fail. I thought I was dead during the fighting, but the Imperials managed to keep me alive. But why would they put so much effort into that when I would have died if left alone. What should I prepare for, long interrogation where they are looking for answers, or torture simply to kill me or turn me. In either case, it will not due to continue focusing on it. It will be here when it is here and I will manage it when it happens. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
12:58 pm [queenmidalah]	Meria Kyrsk I have to keep my emotions in check right now. What I will say is that I am immensely happy for my husband. He got one of the things I had wanted most for him. Part of his family back. Edik is alive, and while he has a long road ahead of him, he's back where he belongs. (Comment on this)
12:46 pm [queenmidalah]	Edik Kyrsk ooc- About 3 hours after his last journal entry I can't sleep. The doctor said that I should try, but it's very elusive. I can't get my mind to rest right now. My mind keeps going to my family and the images that are just not coming to me. I know I shouldn't force it. When I used to, my seizures would come. I just want to know who I am... (Comment on this)
12:31 pm [queenmidalah]	Cahokia Bassard Pregnant again. Only this time, with Rafael's child. He was so happy when I told him. We're waiting, however, to tell others till I am well into my second trimester. Probably another couple weeks, after my next doctor's appointment. Rafael is worried that something will happen. I do understand that. I know that he wants a healthy child, but a part of me hopes for a boy. I will be happy with whatever we have, but I want to give Rafael a son again. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
11:48 pm [darana]	Leynier Alderson I do not understand the minds of Masters here on Yavin. I followed the orders of my own Master and now I have Master Alidar D'med questioning my loyalty. I would never think that stopping another knight from doing something foolish and ultimately harm themselves would be seen as an act of disloyalty. I wonder if Master Caudell questioned the loyalty of Masters D'med and Talvierya because they both stopped him for the reasons I presume he had me stop Knight Maruko from turning herself into the Empire. At the end of the conversation he did apologize to me. I am no where near any level of training to try to understand the mindset and actions of our Jedi Masters. (Comment on this)
Monday, February 18th, 2008
2:51 pm [darana]	Maruko We have failed it seems. The issues within the council have finally caused us all to turn in on ourselves. While I agree Master Caudell was not to be allowed to leave Yavin without the council making the decision on the matter, his authority was entirely undermined. Any good he might have done, undone by the Empress and the Council. Now he has joined with The Force and moved on beyond the issues of the physical realm. I will wait long enough to see Master Caudell's padawan take his trials. My own...if she chooses to go to Osuss she will be sent immediately along with several others that have needed to be sent for some time now. If she chooses to stand and fight....I may take her with me when I leave Yavin. Though the council may not permit it. I will at least train her to knighthood before I leave the order entirely, but I will no longer remain on Yavin. Master Caudell is right, the time for us is past. But I am a field jedi and that is where I belong. I will due fighting the darkness. I will not go so passively as Master Caudell chose to do. (Comment on this)
Friday, February 15th, 2008
7:22 am [masteralida]	Adan Caudell It appears that Alidar D'med and Jossen Talvierya have decided to take over leadership of the Council, condeming my actions. They do not understand and I do not believe they ever will. (Comment on this)
7:18 am [alidareineach]	Tor Kyrsk Edik is alive. Meria had him checked for clone markers and found none. Lady Leonnie helped to restore his memories and found nothing untoward there. This really is my brother. Meria's angry with me for going alone with Lady Leonnie. I was thinking as a soldier, not a husband and not a brother. If he had been a threat, I wanted him gone. She's right, it is one of the most amazing things that has happned and perhaps she should have been there when I went to speak with him, but I was focused more on ensuring that there was nothing there that would be of danger to Arridor. Or to Meria. After the attempt on her life, I'm not taking any chances. Marta's readying Edik's rooms. Will the Senate accept him as head of the Kyrsk lands once Edik is fully settled in? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
1:38 pm [darana]	Darana Cairnfell He agreed to it. This is a relief, he will go through Hell. Though I thought Ultan was going to back out of the decision when he contacted me after our initial conversation. Apparently he spoke with Master Caudell and learned of my ultimatum. Even for a Sith I have acted uncharacteristically in this instance and done a thing I think I will regret. Handing out an ultimatum for caudell to turn himself over without thinking it through is not what I should have done. Not when I really was unprepared for him to accept it. Then again Caudell is acting uncharacteristically and I highly suspect this whole thing. Ultan said the Jedi have taken steps to safeguard the man, so I can only take that to mean his memories have been buried or altered in some way and possibly, just possibly he is some walking ticking time bomb that will be used against us in time to come, somehow. I should have told Ultan about this. Deep down I knew it, but I never truly expected anything to come of it. And it still may not...what was the larger surprise is that I asked Ultan if he would have me turn Caudell away. A thing I was willing to do, this time because I truly had not meant any of the threats outright...we are already hunting the Jedi to our fullest extents, they do not need to know this though. It may be time that we try a concentrated and focused assault on the Alliance borders to break through to Yavin and destroy it once and for all. Though I do wonder, is it necessarily wise to truly eradicate them or to the point we believe them gone. Let them go underground with only a handful, that could be more dangerous to us than they are now; blundering around as they do. No I must learn from the purge of the past and how the order rebuilt from one. This will be a discussion for my advisory council I think. It is time for us to come up with a new strategy. (Comment on this)
9:01 am [masteralida]	Alida D'med An interesting Court. Lord Daniels - No, Chancellor Daniels now - as heir. Kryil and Shade given the title of Master. Darth Kryil spoke with me during the reception. He seemed surprised that I wished him well. I hold no animosity against the Sith, but I am not one of them. We balance one another, Jedi and Sith, but that does not mean I must seek them out. Lord Shade seemed to believe I was uncomfortable. An interesting assumption. Such things take me from my work here in the Temple and are to be endured, not enjoyed. His familiarity did grate, however. An interesting man, but one I do not plan on making it a point to interact with. At least another Court has come and gone. Back to the Temple and rebuilding what once was. (Comment on this)
Monday, February 11th, 2008
12:57 pm [darana]	Sarrel Elwynn It is over now. I have made my last trip into the Empire and will remain firmly seated within the worlds I now control. I do not know what ramifications refusing to attend court will have, if any. Yet. It may in the longer term. I have done nothing to act against them and as long as they continue their ways I will rebuild the Sith here as they were meant to be. No tolerating the light. The temple is an abomination as is having an ex-Jedi on her advisory board. Darth Kyril counseled a longer term view... I tried to see it, but I fail. I do not want to see it, Sith are not here for the long term views, ours is the path of immediacy, ours is the path to destruction of the light. There was a time when we had to act in secret, but now is not that time. Now we must act openly and show our domination and strength and power. For what else is there if we can not. Let Cairnfell's lot wander lost and blind, someday they will return to the rightful path. I will not stray. I am the heart of darkness and I will lead those who now follow me down the true and only path there is for anyone claiming to be Sith. (Comment on this)
10:14 am [darana]	Darana Cairnfell The issues of my house rose up immediately the day we returned. First with me speaking to Shade and Rook. Rook took the news well enough, his only concern being Lord Daniel's loyalty and possible desire to take the throne away from me in the end. I was shocked Rook did not know Lord Daniels better than that. But I suppose the last few years running the Empire has kept my group apart from one another so they no longer know each other as well as they once did. I wonder if the training and binding still holds or is it too lessened. Shade's reaction was not entirely unexpected, but one part was. To think that he expects I will go mad and that he believes it will be his place to ..'prune' me as he put it. Indeed a fact that bothers me deeply. He refuses to support Lord Daniels as heir. I will not take Shade's life just yet. I believe it will be some time before he is a threat to Lord Daniels and to what I am building in the Empire. I do believe he would have kept the temple, he would hold to a more controlled form of the things I seek to build, a control that I fear would be a step backwards. Shade is too lost to the further side of the dark. Though I wonder, will I too slip away into the madness caused by the darkside. In the end will that be my fate? I do not use the Force much anymore specifically to avoid this. I am nothing more than a politician. Though I do keep up my training, I know my skills are not likely as sharp as they once were. And that is another reason Lord Daniels is the better choice. His wife will support him and hold the edge, if she goes mad in time he will still be there. But she will help him to keep his throne, if they ever have to take their place as Emperor and Empress. If they do then things have gone very wrong for me. Or perhaps they have gone right and I have found a way to retire with my husbands. Unfortunately I do not see that in my future. No the real heirs that will rule are not yet set. I do not know what my son will become, if he will be able to rule, I had not wanted that for him and so very few know he even exists. I worry that Ultan will decide to leave. His resolve has been tested and it is holding so far. But I do not fully know the impact the visit of his former associate has had on him. It came as a shock when Knight Maruko requested to remain. I wanted to say yes, to keep her here and watch her fall from her lofty perch as an arrogant Jedi Knight, but after hte mind scan, her motivation were still too closely tied with the staunch and immovable Jedi beliefs. I think the end result would be a disaster if I allowed her to remain. A chance I simply could not allow. I will soon know Ultan's decision regarding the initiation. It will be his final step of commitment to his task here, to my son and to me. While it is, in the end, nothing more than a symbol, he has already given the oath, this step will assure his place here. I will not have the side long glances and questioning looks and even direct questions from those of my circle close enough to ask me directly. Once he has submitted to this, it will be done and irreversible for all of us. The path will be set. If he does not do it...I don't know what I will do...I may, ultimately, have to ask him to leave. Then everything we have both done to this point will be lost and failed. If he does agree to do this, I think that I will have to alter the last portion of the process to once again include several of the other members of the house. Ultan is too questionable to just turn back out and expect the others to respect he has undergone this process. I will have to include, Kyril, Rook, Jennifer, Eric, Traya, Klaw, Shade, and Keres in the final portions. It will be difficult with all of our duties, but I think it is needed. I do not believe Kaehlyiah and Katyana will have quite the issues the others have had or may have. That is a small bit of good fortune. Though it may turn out I was wrong. It is entirely possible they may see their lack of inclusion as some insult. They are the newest of the Sith, but not new to my house. I will have to speak with them when they are next on Coruscant, assuming Ultan agrees to this. Lord Daniels has surprised me regarding Jennifer. She has matured over the years and perhaps the Jedi training has done her some good, settled her. Eric is right that she has always had a good grasp of her situation, but she has not always so easily adapted to it as she seems to be doing now. He trusts her loyalty and has her in hand so I leave her there to his judgement. Everything seems to be on track and progressing. It is never smooth or easy, but it does move forward. As much as I disliked the arrogance shown by Shade, his assumptions that he is the only one who could replace, that he is the only one who could decide whether or not I had gone mad and strike me down to take my place...I can not believe he expects to become Emperor and that his own apprentice will strike him down...a thing he expects to be proud of...but I wonder if his own sense of mortality will ever catch up with him. He is not in a position of ruling, he is not in a position where many would want to kill him to get his authority. Perhaps that is what I need to do...put him out there in charge of several difficult systems. Let him feel the taste of his mortality. But I doubt that will work with him, he will only look for ways to assure his life is not lost. No, if anyone goes mad, he will lose his sanity before I will. I am sure of that. Though it does make wonder how my other apprentices view themselves and their roles. Are they above their stations as Shade has decided he is? Or does his personal feelings for me cloud his view. My controls are in place in him. That gives me some peace of mind. Still I must address the issue he raised. As much as I may not like it, the possibility exists I will hold on too long and my own grip on the world around me lost. I will speak with my advisor's on this, perhaps independently before coming to a final decision on just how to address it. Darana leaned back in her chair and exhaled as she lifted the parchment paper up. She read through it a couple of times, then set it on fire. Her usual habit. Never could she afford for any to ever see her innermost thoughts so easily. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 10th, 2008
2:30 am [masteralida]	Adan Caudell Encrypted Maruko and my padawan have failed. Rory may be lost to us. Now to ensure that they are not, also. (Comment on this)