creativewriting

They were in a truck
below the bridge, I on a catwalk
spanning the ignorant midsummer river,
only passing by, peering down.
I saw just hands, parts of clothes,
sticky white fingertips, her honeyed hem
dropping threads
like something loose in a tapestry.

They were the blood that hastened hot
to my cheeks, the dust I brushed
off my heels to march on; all afternoon,
the image clinging unctuously,
I pictured the faces of girls I knew
and tried to match them to
that sweet brown thigh,
dappled by a prism revolving in the light.

Infidelity is itself a machine
faithful to one thing, two -
an assailable need,
to moments enacted in a void, or
time outside the dial.

We were in a room, a chamber,
one of indistinguishable thousands within buildings
inside the city
and she was smoking thin import cigarettes, or
pretending to,
we all were.
And the TV was laughing, no-one else,
as the cat pulled
at my sweater with its teeth, unravelling it.
When she said Do you think God
can hear us right now?
and we held our breaths, sweaty,
waiting for the reply.

EDIT: I reworked the first one a little bit.

---

bees | heather michaels

i can feel your hand, my kneecap
like it's nothing at all
like it's everything

i can think obscenities at you all day

everyone's talking about
the news
the disappearance of bees
how we can
transfer
pollen grains to stigma
rub the anthers
ourselves

i can feel this sting,
nothing, everything

i can't ignore it, them,
the news, you

valley girl | heather michaels

i'm
the volume, width and depth
roots grow around me
making walls with the soil
as deep as i am for you.

---

Neither are completely finished - I think the first is slightly more finished because the second actually was part of it at one point, but now it doesn't fit. I want advice. I think the strength in the second poem is really just the last line. I don't know what to do about the rest of it. I don't really write poetry, but I thought it was time to try new things. Any comments and criticism are more than welcome.

2.
oh darling, please hush
it’s merely a summer's crush
there’s no need to rush

3.
melting like the snow
loving you will only show
sand between our toes

4.
your lips stained with pink
we are standing on the brink
lemonade to drink

5.
your cucumber skin
and the cries of violin
now where have you been?

Current Mood:

cheerful

You laugh at me when I'm in pain

Silence echo's throughout the room when you are done

I want to run but there is nowhere to hide

Tears are forming, my eyes are burning

You continue to laugh.

Sharp stabs pinch my soul

Who is this monster in front of me

I look for an out, in this pure black darkness

Nobody would hear me If I called out

No one around seems to care

The smile on your face freezes my heart

It is not a smile of love, but a smile of hate

How could I have once loved you

This mysterious demon you have became

Don't wait for me anymore, for I will not be there

You have killed my spirit, now I am gone

Forever lost  in a world far apart.
 

Current Location:	same as always
Current Mood:	anxious
Current Music:	fan

Agree or disagree?

Current Mood:	chipper
Current Music:	Unknown Territory - Dick Dale

My character is apologetic, sniveling, listens to all orders given to him yet secretly longs to be the boss he listens to, scared to try out new things, and self-conscious. But at the same time he's sympathetic and tries to help others out, but gets bossed around too much. He has good ideas but no one listens.

Any help here?

2.
Take a steaming shower;
Scrub with your organic shampoo
Whose directed use is to avoid cancer.
And while smelling red wine in its extracts,
You realize that the natural washing of your
Hair, or body, is pointless
You can’t rinse away the effects of countless
Years of using deadly aluminum on your scalp
Or, more importantly at the moment
(and who is to say if not in the future, too)
The feeling of him cumming on you,
As you could only stare, not into his eyes,
But into the wooden face of your headboard.

3.
Cocking your head, proceed to think
That might’ve been the better option.
For his eyes are faithless, espresso holes of lust-
Not hopeful chestnut stars of need, like your own.
Proving again to your head that you are not matched;
But your heart and body yearn to be touched,
To become one with the summer heat
And his melting, milk chocolate skin.

4.
Ask, “Is it worth the wait”?
Reduce to simplicity: yes, it is.
You must stop this before
Sin's natural cancer kills you, or
You die of a heat stroke
(As one with the end
Of a hot summer day).

5.
Eat some real milk chocolate.
Or ice cream, to cool yourself down,
And nestle into your clean sheets
With a faithful companion:
An orgasmic book.

In a dream I shall feel through splendid cities pierced with light;
her sweet madness floats very slowly;
on the water! for more than a thousand years!

Contained in the vast ether by the wave.
- a nest of mad kisses, down the long black river.
In a slumbering alder towards which the foam.
- sighing around her through this horror of space.

Lying in her long veils, and in the sacred woods
into the deep ocean weep on her shoulder
it was the voice love will;

I no longer felt myself, and distances from that time,
never endured more triumphant clamourings entranced in pallid flotsam
backwards into sleep, down into abysses

by Anon & Arthur Rimbaud

Current Mood:	amused
Current Music:	Coma Girl - Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros

The wind kisses her breasts dark lilacs.
- with a cloak of ignorance,

I'm happiest when I'm holding a girl late at night
and telling her all the prettiest lies to make her smile
a martyr of self importance
make me feel needed (a moth to the light)
this is me at my most truthful

cupcake eyes and open wound hearts
we are tangled sheets and broken hearts
sometimes i just want to sleep long enough to forget what's going on in the world (inside my head)

we are the frustrations that turn to desperate measures
taking pills to forget what it feels like to hurt
carving memories on our skin just for a chance to feel pain we can control
this isn't anything but a child acting out with temper tantrums