A recent family therapy journal article I was reading suggested using a "solving circle" to help families get unstuck. I won't go into all the specifics of this as this blog is about creativity (although many families could use a shot of creative energy). The premise of the solving circle is that problems occur in context with other people. Stepping into a literal or imaginary circle where dialogue for solutions is opened can be quite powerful. We are often in our own way and want to maintain our positions or beliefs about ouselves/the world despite how weak or false those positions might be. Stepping into a new space, where reflection can occur, is one useful idea.

What if we are stuck creatively? Step into the solving circle. Do this as a literal act. Do it mentally. Use it as a form of visualization or meditation. What are some new ways to look at a problem you are having that didn't see before? Act "as if" the problem no longer existed. What is different about you and your world without the problem. Where can you start incorporating aspects of the problems absence into your life now? How would people you admire, for their creativity, speak to you while you are in this circle of solutions? What advice would they give you?

The journal article was based primarily on Choice Theory which states that are actions, feelings and beliefs are a result of choices we make. Yes, you might be who you are based on what others have done to you but you continue on that path based on each choice you continue to make. Therefore, you can make new choices. I know it is probably harder than it sounds but what "choice" do you have?

Attitudes, Beliefs and Behavior Determine Goals

>> We have been offering you a series on how to use Goals to Build Creativity. Make these tools more effective by "speaking" up and sharing your creative voice on how you are using goals in your life, what you struggle with creatively, where you need to grow or change to be more creative.

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>> Click the "speak" link at the bottom of this post.

There are three important elements for your personal and professional success: (1) the attitude that you have toward your personal and professional life, (2) the beliefs you model your personal and business life around, and (3) the behavior that you have towards yourself and others. These three elements are tightly connected and interwoven, and can either make or break the personal and professional confidence with which you set, and meet, your goals.

Let’s break these three elements down even further.

• Attitudes: Attitudes are the ways that you react to situations, and to people, based on the assumptions and the beliefs that you have learned.
• Beliefs: Your beliefs are the conjectures that you make about yourself, other people, and situations. Your beliefs are based on what you think and how you think things are. Your beliefs will make you react the way that you do and cause your expectations to remain within a certain framework of thoughts.
• Behaviors: Your behavior is how you implement the attitudes that you have adopted towards situations and people.

When people positively change their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors they open the doors to new possibilities. Life success depends on the ability to change and be willing to learn new ways of thinking and doing things.

One of the techniques that successful people use to change their behavior is to model their personal and professional beliefs on someone in their field whom they admire and respect. Who is it that they admire and respect? When people find someone who is successful in a way that they themselves define success, they need to take a look at what these successful people are doing and how they are doing it.

Another thing that people should concentrate on is to ask themselves who they’re mixing with. If people find that they’re spending time with other people who wouldn’t be defined as successful then they need to start mixing with those people who do define success and are leading successful professional lives. This doesn’t mean that you leave behind those people in your life who have chosen poor goals. It only means that you start mixing with those people that have an attitude towards their life that is considered to be positive and winning.

What this means for you is that you encourage positive leadership and modeling in your life so that you are able to succeed and achieve the goals that you have set for yourself. Goals are personal to every individual so it’s up to you to set the bar when it comes to your attitude and determination.

Determine Your Core Beliefs Before Setting Goals

..> What are your core beliefs...share with us at the end...

Before you can set any goals for yourself you need to have a base of core beliefs that you live by. And your core beliefs are based on the cause and effect of the things that happen to you in your life. The way you feel will always be determined by an action that created the feeling. When it comes to goal setting you need to have a positive outlook on what is happening around you so that you can make good decisions for yourself.

The basic underlying concept of core beliefs and goals is that if you’re not feeling and seeing the effects that you want to see you need to take a look at the reasons why. Once you make changes to the conditions that are causing you to fail to reach your goals you’ll start to see the results that you want to see. This means making changes to the conditions within yourself, and within your life, which are keeping you from moving forward.

You, as an individual, need to take responsibility for when you feel uninspired and negative. This also means that you have the power to change these conditions of cause and effect. You need to feel that you CAN reach your personal and professional goals. But what does the cause and effect of what happens in your life have to do with being successful and reaching your goals? The answer is simple: When you are aware of the cause and effect of your own personal beliefs and goals you are better able to manage how you lead your life. Understanding and believing that you can be successful on a personal level leads to the belief that you can reach all of the goals that you set for yourself.

One of the most important things that you can do to reach your personal and professional goals is to cultivate and nurture your own personal power. Personal power is one of the most incredible allies that you can have when it comes to achieving success. Personal power is all about believing in yourself, your accomplishments, and your ability to reach your goals. When people have this personal power they become confident and motivated to go after the things they want in life. Just think of the rewards that you will receive when you have a great sense of personal power: there are no limits when it comes to the goals that you can reach.

One of the key aspects of personal power is the inner confidence to know that you can do anything you want to do. You can achieve the goals that you deserve because you have all the skills and techniques that you need to be successful. When you have personal power you have the assertiveness to do what’s best for you and your professional career. It’s this combination of confidence and assertiveness that is going to push you towards your goals and a help you achieve these goals.

..> What are your core beliefs and how do they affect your goals for your creativity? Use the "speak" link below to share.

The Monkey With The Wooden Apples

There once was a happy monkey wandering the jungle, eating delicious fruit when
hungry, and resting when tired. One day he came upon a house, where he saw a
bowl of the most beautiful apples. He took one in each hand and ran back into
the forest. He sniffed the apples and smelled nothing. He tried to eat them, but
hurt his teeth. They were made of wood, but they were beautiful, and when the
other monkeys saw them, he held onto them even tighter.

He admired his new possessions proudly as he wandered the jungle. They glistened
red in the sun, and seemed perfect to him. He became so attached to them, that
he didn't even notice his hunger at first.

A fruit tree reminded him, but he felt the apples in his hands. He couldn't bear
to set them down to reach for the fruit. In fact, he couldn't relax, either, if
he was to defend his apples. A proud, but less happy monkey continued to walk
along the forest trails.

The apples became heavier, and the poor little monkey thought about leaving them
behind. He was tired, hungry, and he couldn't climb trees or collect fruit with
his hands full. What if he just let go?

Letting go of such valuable things seemed crazy, but what else could he do? He
was so tired. Seeing the next fruit tree, and smelling it's fruit was enough. He
dropped the wooden apples and reached up for his meal. He was happy again.

Letting Go Of Wooden Apples...

Like that little monkey, we sometimes carry things that seem too valuable to let
go. A man carries an image of himself as "productive" - carries it like a shiny
wooden apple. But in reality, his busyness leaves him tired, and hungry for a
better life. Still, letting go seems crazy. Even his worries are sacred apples -
they prove he's "doing everything he can." He holds onto
them compulsively.

This is a hard thing to see. We identify so strongly with our things even,
feeling pain when our cars are dented. How much more powerfully do we identify
with our beliefs and self-ideas? Yet they don't always feed our souls, do they?
And we become tired of defending them.

How else could the story end?

The monkey might be found dead of hunger, under a beautiful tree, with fruit
within reach, but still grasping his wooden apples.

I chose to end it with him letting go, because only with open hands can we
receive.

Original Source: Nisha Nair, from Training-Ideas@yahoogroups.com

Left-Hand Column Exercise: Understanding our Mental Models

The left-hand column exercise, developed by Peter Senge, is a tool that can be used to help us "see" into our beliefs systems and to discover how they affect our thinking. Oftentimes, the left-hand column exercise will reveal ways in which we manipulate situations to avoid dealing with our feelings and thoughts, thereby losing the opportunity for honest and meaningful dialogue. It also can help us see how we sometimes keep ourselves from full, authentic communication because of assumptions we hold (often in our subconscious minds) about others who don’t necessarily see the situation as we do.

Step #1: Start with selecting a specific situation you've been involved with during the last month (it can even be in your own group) where you experienced the following:

You can't reach an agreement with your group
Someone else is not pulling his or her weight
You believe you are being treated unfairly.
You believe your point of view is being ignored or discounted.
The rest of the group is resisting a change you want to implement.
You believe your team is not paying much attention to the most crucial problem.
Write a brief paragraph describing the situation. What are you trying to accomplish? Who or what is blocking you? What is happening, from your perspective?

Step #2: The Right-Hand Column (what was said).

Now recall the conversation you had over this situation -- or imagine the conversation that you would have if you brought up the problem.

Take several pieces of paper and draw a line down the center. (You can also enter this in a word processor with a two-column feature. Use side-by-side columns, or "table" columns, rather than newspaper or "snaking" columns.)

In the right-hand column, write out the dialogue that actually occurred. Or write the dialogue you're pretty sure would occur if you were to raise this issue. The dialogue may go on for several pages. Leave the left-hand column blank until you've finished.

Step #3: The Left-Hand Column (what you were thinking/feeling)

Now in the left-hand column, write out what you were thinking and feeling, but not saying throughout the conversation.

Step #4: Reflection: Use your left-hand column as a resource

You can learn a great deal just about yourself as a communicator from the act of writing out a communication experience (even putting it away for a week and then looking at it again) and reading what you have written. The communication experience becomes a lens through which you can examine your own thinking, as if you were looking at the thinking of someone else.

As you reflect on what you wrote on the left-hand column, ask yourself the following questions:

What has really led me to think and feel this way?
What was my intention? What was I trying to accomplish?
Did I achieve the results I intended?
How might my comments have contributed to the difficulties?
Why didn't I say what was in my left-hand column?
What assumptions was I making about the other person or people?
What were the costs of operating this way? What were the payoffs?
What prevented me from acting differently?
How can I use my left-hand column as a resource to improve our communications?
What did I learn about myself in terms of my beliefs about myself and others?
If your beliefs are outmoded or limiting, what new beliefs might you create that more fully empower you and help you communicate more authentically?

Original source

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