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| Saturday, October 11th, 2008 |
solalia
|
9:32a |
Dreams I don't normally post my dreams here because reading about other people's dreams, unless hilarious or just incredibly bizarre, can usually be pretty boring. I just found it strange that I had these two dreams last night when I went to sleep pondering my feelings on closing up the studio. The first one: My entire family is visiting, I think it's supposed to be during the holidays. I decide I need to get out of the house and I walk deeper into the forest where I find a stream that hasn't frozen over yet and a canoe sitting next to it. I decide to put the canoe in the water and hop in. I let the water carry me wherever it goes, and lots of streams intersect and split off of the main stream. As I'm floating along I realize that I don't have any paddles and I start looking around for something to paddle with. But I figure that the stream won't take me anywhere dangerous so I just hold on to the sides of the canoe and let it go.
The further I go the more I begin to notice fish. They get bigger and bigger as the ride progresses and I notice the current is starting to speed up. I get scared. What if it's a waterfall? As I come around a corner I try to grab on to the river bank but I see that the stream just ends as it intersects yet another, larger stream, and goes down a hill, causing the current to speed up, and I begin to get frightened. I hesitate for a second, wondering if I should keep clinging to the bank and calling for help, but I decide that I can handle it and I let go. The ride isn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I just pick up speed. The water in this stream is darker and murky, and the fish look bigger and meaner. They ignore me and let me go about my business though, but I tuck my legs under me just in case they get any ideas. I keep riding along until the stream takes me to an area that is in late summer instead of early winter. I am surrounded by golden wheat and a gorgeous golden sunset, and I think somehow I have paddles now. Then I wake up.The second one: I think this one was right after I went back to sleep after the last. In the dream: My grandmother had just cut and dyed my hair, not something she usually does for me, and I loved it. But I dreamed that I got up, grabbed a pair of scissors, and just cut off a random chunk of hair. I put my glasses on, knowing I did something wrong but can't see the damage, and it's bad. It's so short it's sticking straight up, it's uneven, and if I part my hair the way I normally do it's totally obvious. But I can part my hair differently and it doesn't show, it actually makes the rest of my hairdo look better. I feel bad that I undid something my grandmother did for me, but in a bittersweet way I still feel okay at the end since my hair looks better.I think I know what they are both about, but if you have any ideas I'd appreciate another perspective on them. Current Mood:  calm |
cinnamoncanary
|
5:41p |
Bitch
Bitch
10.11.2008
Bitch, with your sad eyes
dripping egg white tears,
where is your courage?
You bend your back
as if years have been mean
under the master switch,
but where’s your master?
I think to myself,
“Poor bitch, all beat up and loveless,
do the years make you angry?”
Then I think not as your head bows
when the children kick you.
Bitch, with your bent tale
and starving spirit,
come here so that my hand
can rest on your head
as if to say, “I understand.”
Then when you look at me
thankful for a kind scrap,
and when you kiss me
with your tongue soaked in love,
I will smile back,
pleased and loving too
for I’m as lost and broken.
-Marni
Current Music: Duran Duran - The Chauffer |
| Sunday, October 12th, 2008 |
happypea
|
2:10a |
Obama Vs McCain
The featured video on the youtube channel for McCain. The message? Fear and suspicion.
The featured video on the youtube channel for Obama. The message? Change and hope.
Sure, both videos are manipulative... it's Politics after all. That said, I certainly know who'd I'd vote for given half the chance - not someone who tries to scare people into voting from them but someone who offers hope.
Go Obama! You can do it! |
| Saturday, October 11th, 2008 |
cinnamoncanary
|
2:41p |
 'Worms In A Bush' Marni De Ambershay © All rights reserved This image is one of my favorites. It was taken on a spring afternoon here in Sweden. I looked to my left as I walked down the street and had seen these worms. It struck me as humorous and artsy fartsy to snap them, I remember laughing. The only thing is, I didn't realize at the time it would become one of my most coveted images. Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: Keoki - Smile |
ravenfrogsuperk
|
4:03a |
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| Friday, October 10th, 2008 |
reddragonace
|
11:06p |
Hunting.... If you guys see any interesting webpage layouts, let me know....I am on a mission. I really want to do something eye-grabbing...I'm just not sure what. *fluster* Current Mood:  annoyed |
violetiae
|
9:32p |
Violet's Top 10 Top 10 Tips On How To Be A Good McCain/Palin Supporter*
- Get all your news from TV. If you want to be a REALLY good McCain/Palin supporter, get all your news from Fox News.
- Whatever you do, do not — repeat, do not — read a variety of news sources. This will only encourage you to form your own opinion. This is something to avoid at all costs. Stick with TV, preferably Bill O'Reilly. (Re-read tip #1.)
- When in doubt, repeat whatever you've heard another McCain/Palin supporter say. Repeat it over and over, even if it's proven to be wrong.
- When facing opposition, hurl an epithet. "Terrorist," "traitor," "Muslim," or "commie" are good choices. If you can use more than one, it's even more betterer.
- Never resort to facts. They can be pesky.
- Make up your own shizz, like telling your friends and family the opponent is an Arab.
- "Me first" in all things.
- Hate meese. Remember, one hoofed Granny to death when you were three.
- Spelling is for sissies.
- Be afraid of anyone who isn't white. After all, they're not really "Americans." (If you're not white, be afraid of yourself. You never know what you might do.)
*failure to follow these tips may result in you becoming a commie liberal Current Mood:  irate |
| Saturday, October 11th, 2008 |
creativewriting
[ heavenofzaria ]
|
12:51p |
"The Heaven of Zaria"
"Aside from the pink satin cloth that draped and met at the middle of the ceiling a hundred feet above, I, who wore black amongst a sea of white, am evidently MISPLACED. What makes me more misplaced is the pathetic fact that I am the only one wearing a dress made of satin. If I exist in a world with less conceited people, I wouldn't even take notice of that fact. Ritually I give myself a reality check. I happen to be the stepdaughter of the sister of a wife of a big-deal businessman who happens to be mutually in love with the media. And what's worst? Charmeuse had to be the 'in' cloth for today’s wedding. Not wearing it now, not having it cut above the knees or at least showing a little bit of cleavage, would be the least desirable situation to be in. And most obviously, I am wearing something that is not Charmeuse, not white, not short...enough and bears no cleavage in sight. Maybe I'll get extra points for wearing stunning gold Jimmy Choo sandals or maybe not. Either way, if I weren’t the sister of the bride I would have been kicked out of the cathedral seconds before I could set my ‘Jimmy Choo’-s on the red carpet. When I was younger my head would start spinning at moments like this, but I suppose that age is like a number that shows how much tolerance you have to how much slamming you get from the world because of the things it hates about you." --- "The Heaven of Zaria" a snippet of Chapter One.
I've decided to finally finish a novel that I have started. I've always had problems finishing stories that I write because I always search for motivation and I tend to lack it when I need it the most. :) I hope posting that would interest you to read it more, you can find it in my livejournal page http://heavenofzaria.livejournal.com Thanks :)
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| Friday, October 10th, 2008 |
solalia
|
7:44p |
cleaning, cleaning, $@$@#$%@# cleaning Well we made a decision last night as a family that the studio will have to be closed up for the winter. The heater has to run just about 24 hours a day to keep it at an acceptable, safe-for-supplies temperature, and with the stock market all screwed up like it is now we can't afford to run that heater all the time. I am secretly quite happy that my supplies will be moving into the room just next to my bedroom. It is cold, way too cold, to be walking back and forth early in the morning and late in the evening to the studio. I am sick of carrying things back and forth. The enormous spiders have found all the cracks in my little building and wiggled their way in, meaning I have to kill about one brown recluse a day. NO JOKE. It is also very dark in there now that the sun is not quite so bright. It was always in the shade of the trees but now it is always dark, and very depressing, in there. Inside I will be on the top floor, in a bay window. I can also stumble into bed at whatever hour I want, without waking up the rest of the household anyway. Sooo I will probably be pretty quiet and not so prolific until my things are inside where they are accessible without freezing my tuchus off. But it's exciting anyway! Current Mood: cheerful |
xevv
|
10:23p |
>:( THE SNAKE PART IS NOT LUMPY!!! Most of you have GOT to be tired of this by now. Be brave, this is the last of it. So, apparently Katie still reads this journal every single day obsessively, since generally the few times I've said anything bad about her she makes a huge shitstorm about it on my LJ and then on Facebook within a few hours. I had been writing in the mind that no one except the people on my f-list actually read it, because writing with the idea that your "enemies" read your content is generally a pretty egotistical thing to assume, and I sort of wanted to beleive that Katie really didn't care anymore and had learned her lesson the last couple of times. But now apparently she's seething and screaming over on Facebook, and Beth made it pretty clear (along with Dori, jesus, like she spent more than a week actually hanging out with me once freshman year of highschool) and possibly Mike K. that they hate my guts and want me to DIAF. Over a single fucking sentence. That no one forced her to read, that she shouldn't have been reading, because she should know by now that I'm never going to have anything good to say about her. The fact is, her art is fun to make fun of sometimes. It happens. I try to refrain from it, but sometimes it slips out. All my life my peers and family instilled me with a drive to be the best I could be, to constantly strive to improve, and to never be satisfied with less than my best. Do I enjoy making art? I love it with every fiber of my being. I become lost in what I do. I love the conversation that happens between mind and paper. I love learning ways to refine and expand my repertoire of medium and technique. I just figured that talking about that sort of thing bores everyone to death. And I'd much rather just let the dedication I put into my career as an illustrator speak for itself. Katie on the other hand seems to want nothing more than to take the easy route to everything and to indulge herself without ever going out of her comfort zone. Art to her is anything that makes you happy and proud of yourself, and that copying someone else is work is easy. Actually, it's incredibly difficult to do successfully. And I don't copy other artist's work because I want a portfolio just like their's in the end; I copy to gain their confidence in mark making and see how they came to the artistic conclusions they did; to dissect the decisions they made when they decided THIS color for THAT color, THIS composition for THAT one. And there's always the fact that Katie can ONLY do what she does. And not very well. Her art isn't a choice, her lack of skill and observation has forced her to be extremely limited in her expression. So her work looks half baked and lazy. There's nothing to be proud of about that, yet she is extremely proud of her work. Can we take a moment to realize that this is my journal and not an entry in some textbook, and therefore is simply my personal opinion? I recognize that this is a subjective argument. But I also know that my views are broadly reflected by most of my colleagues at MICA and even in other private art schools. Which is an elitist institution that Katie isn't a part of, so maybe part of this is a bitter rebellion against my entire establishment. MICA students are known, or so my teachers tell me, by the professional world to be obsessed with perfection and putting the most time and energy they can into their work. That sort of dedication and devotion to high craftsmanship attracts people because it's hard to come by fresh out of college. To a MICA student, doing simply what you enjoy gets you no-where fast. Because if you don't shut up your constant internal monologue of how important your happiness is, you never learn that your initial ideas are trite and poorly constructed (and ultimately no one else cares about them). In essence, you remain an amateur all throughout college. What a fucking waste. You must open yourself up to criticism and revision, two things Katie cannot tolerate ever ever ever. Admitting that you have everything to learn from your teachers is the only way to get better. And getting better is important to me. Not because I crave outside approval so much, but because getting better means I can do something no one else can, getting better means I can say what I have to say in more media, in more universal terms, in a more beautiful way. I went to MICA to get better. And I'm doing just that, and I love it. And finally, because I didn't get lazy and complacent with easy praise, my hard work is paying off. Do you know what being professional, getting paid to illustrate, means to me? It means sharing my vision with a broader audience, it means having the funds to do what I love to the highest degree possible. Of course I am excited about what happened at Comic-con. Do you think Mignola would have ever been able to write and draw Hellboy had he been breaking his back on a construction job? No. Instead, Dark Horse pays him so that he can live a life conducive to making the work that I love. That is worthwhile to me, and anyone who thinks I'm selling myself has no business going to college for art in the first place. I'm the happiest I've ever been at MICA, and that overshadows the fact that almost everyone I know from Highschool now thinks I'm a bitch. It takes *nothing* to get into the towson art program and become a star. And it takes nothing to hate someone and feel threatened by their opinions. I find Katie pathetic for a lot of reasons. She endlessly criticises me for being offensive, completely forgetting all the incredibly hurtful things she has said and done to me throughout our friendship. Everyone finds her adorable and just so squishy and a beautiful snowflake, so when she blames everything on me they swallow it hook line and sinker; how can I be anything but a horrible satanic bitch by comparison? I think she is crazy and retarded and weak and selfish in her dealings with people, especially the people she has sex with. She's manipulative and over-sensitive, and romanticizes her destructive behavior so that she can bore everyone else with her misfortunes. I have always disliked her in some small part, but after years of putting up with her insane manic depressive swings and slavish obsessions, I find myself releived to be out of that nightmare and surrounded by people like me. People who are stable and loaded with plenty of common sense and a lack of patience for those who have none. For people who take their growth as an artist seriously. I am a firm beleiver that if you say you can't do something, you never will. And that's the only thing, finally, that determines whether you can or can't do something. That beleif has helped me accomplish so many things. And sometimes I get tired of people who settle for the easy road. I firmly beleive that I will be sucessful, that my work will be recognized and that I am worth something as an artist. I beleive that I will continually grow and that I will never be satisfied with doing simply what I know is popular. My teachers have faith in me. Some of the biggest names in alternative comics have faith in me. I am good enough and hard working enough that my teachers are willing to help me get an internship with one of the most respected names in american illustration today. Make no mistake, I'm pretty shocked. I will always find my work flawwed and full of trite little artistic holes. If I thought my work was perfect then Katie would have every right to snub me. In truth I think my work is flawwed while others tell me I'm ready to do this for a living, while Katie thinks her work is perfect simply because she enjoys making it, and at least I know my teachers rolled their eyes at it freshman year. All of that just makes me want to work harder and become even better than anyone expects me to be. I embrace that responsibility, knowing full well that the next two years hold many painful lessons to get to that point. ....so, in the midst of all this, when Katie uploads her blobby wrinkled watercolors and calls them dinosaurs, and then refuses to hear anything but praise for their genius, I have to laugh and make fun of her a little bit. You would think I was allowed to do that on my own goddamned LJ. She should know by now that reading my LJ will not make her happy, and she's only fooling herself when she says that she just "skims it once every six months to see how I'm doing." Please. So, I'm going to violate my own rules for her sake. She needs an intervention, and I need my privacy. I'm the only one here strong enough to make this decision, as experience with the endless five year Joe affair proves. So, no more LJ for her. This journal is going to be friends only from now on. But you will forgive me someday, because I have instead the BEST image to hang on the locked door for you to stare at through bitter tears. |
creativephoto
[ d0se ]
|
6:19p |
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| Saturday, October 11th, 2008 |
creativephoto
[ fcuk__it ]
|
1:32a |
it makes  |
| Friday, October 10th, 2008 |
creativephoto
[ fefa_koroleva ]
|
6:30p |
Я позову тебя туда,
Где будешь рядом ты всегда.
Где нет оков и рамок нет.
Вокруг есть только яркий свет…  ( Read more... ) |
creativephoto
[ thatgirlkelly ]
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2:06a |
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creativephoto
[ amderma ]
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7:19a |
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creativephoto
[ jeka_kinski ]
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2:37a |
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| Thursday, October 9th, 2008 |
creativephoto
[ marinshe ]
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6:42p |
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| Friday, October 10th, 2008 |
obsidian_blade
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5:29p |
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shelly505
|
8:28p |
Dont tell me you didnt see any chemitsry between Tess and Lois in the few episodes we've gotten because DAMN, they are both on fire! hehe. I've never liked a pairing with two females but Lois and Tess are amazing on screen and I'm not the only one who thinks so XD ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) svgurl has made an amazing community dedicated to the relationship of these two sassy ladies! So if you like the pairing as much as we do, then join!
</a></b></a>![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) sassandbrass </span>
</span>
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violetiae
|
3:01p |
All aTwitter With Tweets...
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ravenfrogsuperk
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11:51a |
Tonight is going to rock!!!  |
natabellll
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2:34p |
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cinnamoncanary
|
7:42p |
Ego
Dear Ego,
I’m about to do it again, repeat past mistakes and hand you enough rope to choke on. The situation is sad and I’m powerless to stop it, which is unfortunate; or perhaps I am capable of stopping it, but don’t know how to find the stillness in my heart that says, “Marni, sit back, relax, let it go a day or so, or week even, and see what’s in store.” My patience doesn’t roll that way, and… I hate it.
Time for Marni to scream and tear her hair out, it’s that bad.
There’s a real fear here. The brave, freedom loving days of my youth are buried so deep a king sized shovel wouldn’t suffice. Instead, in its place, is the incessant worry that I’m going to lose persons of my affection and therefore, lose out on the experience he or she provides, and sadly, also getting what I want. If I moan and groan about it, it’s only fear raising cacophony over the timid voice of rationale that dispels my fear.
Fear.
I am so racked with it, so afraid everyone is going away, is changing their mind about me, is out to just pacify me, and it’s only in some areas, particularly the ones pertaining to love and close-knit relationships that the deep fear shows itself. The sad truth is that, in fact, it’s been proven many times my fears are not unfounded. If the person in question did not walk out, their actions showed they no longer cherished me. Through abuse, physical or otherwise, abandonment, their lack of thought regarding my feelings for what they were doing to themselves, others, or me; and I don’t mean little human mistakes, I mean heavy, heavy heart ache, physical abuse, and drug use; life threatening things. I was shown time again that I was not worth keeping.
I must be weak.
It’s easier to say, “Whatever” as I flip the bird and walk away, trampling on people as I do it. If I step on them enough, they’re eventually so small, so broken I can no longer, hear, see, feel or deal with them. Moreover, enough time’s been spent peering into the pool I am, that when someone shows signs of wavering loyalty and honesty, I just don’t feel for peering into it again just to ask what “I” did. After a lifetime of fuck ups, let downs, sabotage, and worldly experience, changing for others, and myself, I know that when I look into that pool anymore, it wasn’t me - I’m good. It’s my poor choices in company.
I hate this. But, I hate being hurt more. At the same time there’s a contradiction, because I’m begging for someone to come forward and knock down walls (in a way I can comprehend) that’ve been standing since my teen years, just to prove there are good people left in this world, especially with regard to my male counterparts. It’s not desperation that gives way to this feeling; it’s wanting to experience the basic goodness in personal relations, such as, loyalty, deep love that allows one to open up, give of themselves, accept another, and not spread themselves so thin as to leave nothing for me. Is it out there?
Listen, I know I keep glossing over this subject, I know it’s consuming my time, your time, but hey, I’m just struggling to hang onto some hope because when it goes, I’m signing out…for good. That means, I’m walking away and nobody’s going to touch me. I’ll still be home, but you can’t come in.
Sincerely.
PS: Also, darling ego, some comments might rub you wrong. Just try to be a good sport about it.
Current Mood: confused |
bluejinn
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9:40p |
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bluejinn
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9:22p |
Dlya L ..pomnyu ty hotela uvidet'.. ( PAPAYA ) |
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