Hello All.
Nov. 27th, 2009 | 12:13 pm
posted by: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
secret_erosion in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
crazy_academics
Name: Rachael
Age: 19
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Current Diagnoses: I haven't been in therapy yet, but I am sure that I have Borderline Personality Disorder...
Past Diagnoses: See above.
Therapist Suspects: ...
Major: Psychology & Women's and Gender Studies
Current Medications: N/A
Past Medications: N/A
Hi everyone. I'm a sophomore at Marquette University. I've struggled with mental health issues my entire life, and yet, here I am without an official diagnosis. Self-injury, out of control emotions, and unstable relationships and self image describe the past few years of my life. Life is tough. I often try and measure my worth by my GPA. Because of this, school is VERY stressful for me and I am usually pretty consumed in it.
I want to become a therapist, and I hope I will be able to help people like us. But I suppose it's time now to first take care of myself. I'm searching for the strength to make that first move.
Age: 19
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Current Diagnoses: I haven't been in therapy yet, but I am sure that I have Borderline Personality Disorder...
Past Diagnoses: See above.
Therapist Suspects: ...
Major: Psychology & Women's and Gender Studies
Current Medications: N/A
Past Medications: N/A
Hi everyone. I'm a sophomore at Marquette University. I've struggled with mental health issues my entire life, and yet, here I am without an official diagnosis. Self-injury, out of control emotions, and unstable relationships and self image describe the past few years of my life. Life is tough. I often try and measure my worth by my GPA. Because of this, school is VERY stressful for me and I am usually pretty consumed in it.
I want to become a therapist, and I hope I will be able to help people like us. But I suppose it's time now to first take care of myself. I'm searching for the strength to make that first move.
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My Intro
Nov. 25th, 2009 | 05:54 pm
posted by: res_urrected in crazy_academics
Hey, I'm Res. I'm a full-time online student and new mom and young wife. I've got a history of anxiety disorder with obsessive and compulsive manifestations (list-making), as well as major depression when I've self-harmed and attempted suicide. I left a residential college halfway through my first semester of junior year after a nervous breakdown and suicide attempt which resulted in my first hospitalization. Second hospitalization was this past August after a particularly stressful time and this time no attempt but suicidal ideations while pregnant were enough to send me back. Both have been short-term stays but very helpful. The second hospital I was in I was introduced to the book "SOS Help for Emotions" about cognitive behavioral theory which has helped a lot. I was also on Prozac 60mgs per day but my prescription ran out at almost the same time as my insurance. I recently got my medicaid re-upped so I have a therapy appointment on Dec 8th with a new counselor/shrink (I dunno which). To everyone's surprise, my moods and anxieties post-partum have actually been better than before I was pregnant and during my pregnancy. I think the fact that my baby was born very sick and all my control over the situation was lost actually helped me realize that I CAN'T control everything so I DON'T try to control everything. If that makes any sense. But my disability counselor with the state is helping me get back in counseling and back on track with medications and doing good in school. I don't reach out much, don't have a lot of friends and don't have a super-supportive family of origin, so I'm working hard to find a community online who I can go to for support. I've read over the posts here and I think you guys are definitely a group I can gel with.
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failure in life
Nov. 16th, 2009 | 07:31 am
posted by: kant_decide in crazy_academics
i failed out of university last year (due to a bunch of undiagnosed psychological issues; social anxiety and perfectionism being the couple which have also prevented me from telling people about my problems).
I've applied to other universities, but because of my dismal grades, I've been rejected.
My other friends are working, or are in university and doing really well. I've always been around high-achievers, so this makes me feel even worse about myself.
I'm already 21 and have NOTHING to my name.
Sure, I've felt really lousy many times before. But nothing tops this. My dad's a very well-respected man in the education field. And his daughter is a failure at school. On top of feeling bad about myself, I feel bad for my parents as well because I can't live up to everyone else's expectations (and yes, this does bother me. a lot.). And despite the fact that they tell me it's OK and that there'll always other options out there, I know this does bother them...! I really wish I could tell my parents (or some one) that i need help, but i just can't bring myself to...
(x-posted)
I've applied to other universities, but because of my dismal grades, I've been rejected.
My other friends are working, or are in university and doing really well. I've always been around high-achievers, so this makes me feel even worse about myself.
I'm already 21 and have NOTHING to my name.
Sure, I've felt really lousy many times before. But nothing tops this. My dad's a very well-respected man in the education field. And his daughter is a failure at school. On top of feeling bad about myself, I feel bad for my parents as well because I can't live up to everyone else's expectations (and yes, this does bother me. a lot.). And despite the fact that they tell me it's OK and that there'll always other options out there, I know this does bother them...! I really wish I could tell my parents (or some one) that i need help, but i just can't bring myself to...
(x-posted)
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After Two Months of Hell I Gave In
Nov. 15th, 2009 | 11:21 am
location: Zoo
mood: 
groggy
music: The Smiths
posted by: naturalist1133 in crazy_academics
When I reintroduced myself on here, I was adamantly against going on medication. Well, all it took was two months of severe depression to cause me to give in. A short medication history. I tried Zoloft at the tale end of high school and the summer prior to college. I don't think it did anything, I was still depressed and self-destructive. My first year in college was marked by a medical withdrawal and hospital stays. I was put on Remeron and Ambien. I eventually stopped the medication cold turkey and "snapped out of it." I can't really judge if the medication helped since I smoked so much weed and drank all the time.
I've done some growing up over the three years since (not doing drugs anymore, less drinking, getting on track with school, marriage, etc), but I'm still mentally interesting, and I'm trying Prozac for the first time. Looks like I'll be starting out with 20 mg. I'm nervous about side effects, and I do feel a bit hazy. We'll see. I guess I just want to be one of those miracle stories, and have all this crap go away. I need to be realistic though, and wait. Even then, it probably won't happen. That's all.
I've done some growing up over the three years since (not doing drugs anymore, less drinking, getting on track with school, marriage, etc), but I'm still mentally interesting, and I'm trying Prozac for the first time. Looks like I'll be starting out with 20 mg. I'm nervous about side effects, and I do feel a bit hazy. We'll see. I guess I just want to be one of those miracle stories, and have all this crap go away. I need to be realistic though, and wait. Even then, it probably won't happen. That's all.
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I found this community and thought
Nov. 12th, 2009 | 05:38 pm
posted by: dastudios in crazy_academics
That maybe it was time to open up to a group of people.
The only people I have ever told is the people I trusted my life with, but I'm coming out with it now, since it's so close to the new year and I feel as though I should put that as my new "thing" to do this year.
Who did I tell?:
My mother;
who believes me, but thinks that it could ruin my career.
My father;
who thinks that this is all in my head. (which somewhat is, but he thinks I don't need help, that it will go away with time.)
My ex-boyfriend/first love;
who still supports me to this day.
Seems to want me back, but I don't know yet.
Fact is:
I have Multi-personality disorder
How do I know?:
I looked it up online, and looked at the symptoms, I pretty much put two and two together.
How old am I?:
I'm 18 years of age, and I started college around July.
How old was I when I found out?:
I was 8 years old.
Where do I go to?:
I go to DeVry University.
Where do I live?:
California. Desert Region.
Have I seen a doctor and told him?:
No, because I think I could be kicked out of collge from it, or be treated diffrently for it.
What's her name:
Cecilia;
there's only rare cases where the host knows the name of the "parasite"
Do I need help?:
Actually, I would like someone to talk to, please, thank you.
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intro
Nov. 10th, 2009 | 03:26 pm
mood: 
anxious
posted by: childishtimes in crazy_academics
Diagnosis: Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, Agoraphobia, Emetophobia
Therapy: Starting with a Psychiatrist soon
Major: Undecided, but considering English or Psychology
Current Medications: none prescribed, but an emergency stash of Ativan for bad panic attacks
Past Medications: none
Hi, I'm Ava, I'm 18 and a freshman at CUNY Hunter. I was only recently diagnosed with Anxiety (last year), but I've had panic attacks for as long as I can remember. I'm having a lot of trouble with being able to leave my dorm for classes, I get so horribly anxious when I leave my room and travel makes me panic. I've got my first appointment with a psychiatrist on Thursday, and I hope that I will find something to help me through this. In High School when I was too anxious to go to school, my mother was there to force me to go, but now in college no one forces me, and I wind up convincing myself that I'm sick and I can't go to classes.
Lately I've also been considering the possibility that I might be depressed. The anxiety really destroys my self esteem and makes me feel like I'm completely powerless to control anything in my life, let alone my mental health. I also have lately been having more and more thoughts about suicide, though I wouldn't ever say that I want to end my life. It's more like thinking about death and what it would feel like, a curiousity almost. But then I have times when I feel like some other force is just telling me to jump off a balcony or hurt myself. I really could use some support because I feel like one day I'll submit to these thoughts even though I really don't want to.
I really appreciate the existence of this community and I thank you guys in advance for your help.
Therapy: Starting with a Psychiatrist soon
Major: Undecided, but considering English or Psychology
Current Medications: none prescribed, but an emergency stash of Ativan for bad panic attacks
Past Medications: none
Hi, I'm Ava, I'm 18 and a freshman at CUNY Hunter. I was only recently diagnosed with Anxiety (last year), but I've had panic attacks for as long as I can remember. I'm having a lot of trouble with being able to leave my dorm for classes, I get so horribly anxious when I leave my room and travel makes me panic. I've got my first appointment with a psychiatrist on Thursday, and I hope that I will find something to help me through this. In High School when I was too anxious to go to school, my mother was there to force me to go, but now in college no one forces me, and I wind up convincing myself that I'm sick and I can't go to classes.
Lately I've also been considering the possibility that I might be depressed. The anxiety really destroys my self esteem and makes me feel like I'm completely powerless to control anything in my life, let alone my mental health. I also have lately been having more and more thoughts about suicide, though I wouldn't ever say that I want to end my life. It's more like thinking about death and what it would feel like, a curiousity almost. But then I have times when I feel like some other force is just telling me to jump off a balcony or hurt myself. I really could use some support because I feel like one day I'll submit to these thoughts even though I really don't want to.
I really appreciate the existence of this community and I thank you guys in advance for your help.
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staying in a relationship when you're a crazy academic... how do you do it?
Nov. 10th, 2009 | 02:36 am
posted by: monkey_bite in crazy_academics
Hi,
I have post traumatic stress disorder from a variety of shitty things that have happened to me in the past. I try not to think about it, and I’m in therapy and on meds, but inevitably anxiety will strike, my heart races and I hyperventilate (in a controlled kind of way through my nose so not everyone notices. But I’m freaked.) At that point I can’t stop thinking about jumping out of windows, running into walls, or falling off of bridges. It isn’t the idea of suicide, it’s the “run away, run away, run away” type feeling that makes it hard to carry on a conversation or move really.
I’m 22 and in school, or at least trying to get through it. I’ve started spending all of my time at my boyfriend’s house because I feel safe with him, and when I start to freak out he distracts me, or I initiate sex and I feel better. But… I’m pretty sure I’m wearing out my welcome. The other day I asked for sex and he said “Again?! We can’t do that all the time!” Later he said that it wasn’t that he doesn’t like sex, it was the timing. But. I don’t know. He then told me that he works better when I’m not there. So I left his house. I call him too much. I tried today not to call him - it's been one day since I've seen him and I miss him... I know that I have to learn to deal with this myself, and I don’t want to push him away by being so fucking clingy. I know having your own life is an important part of a relationship but I just don’t know how to do that right now. It’s so very difficult. I don’t know how to act. I’m a freak and I don’t want to push him away. I don’t know what to do to make myself better and less clingy. I feel like I’ll cling to anything right now. I just want to be a functional human being.
What do I do? How do I not push my boyfriend away? How do I get over this shit and get out of bed? If you have any advice I’d be thankful to hear it.
I have post traumatic stress disorder from a variety of shitty things that have happened to me in the past. I try not to think about it, and I’m in therapy and on meds, but inevitably anxiety will strike, my heart races and I hyperventilate (in a controlled kind of way through my nose so not everyone notices. But I’m freaked.) At that point I can’t stop thinking about jumping out of windows, running into walls, or falling off of bridges. It isn’t the idea of suicide, it’s the “run away, run away, run away” type feeling that makes it hard to carry on a conversation or move really.
I’m 22 and in school, or at least trying to get through it. I’ve started spending all of my time at my boyfriend’s house because I feel safe with him, and when I start to freak out he distracts me, or I initiate sex and I feel better. But… I’m pretty sure I’m wearing out my welcome. The other day I asked for sex and he said “Again?! We can’t do that all the time!” Later he said that it wasn’t that he doesn’t like sex, it was the timing. But. I don’t know. He then told me that he works better when I’m not there. So I left his house. I call him too much. I tried today not to call him - it's been one day since I've seen him and I miss him... I know that I have to learn to deal with this myself, and I don’t want to push him away by being so fucking clingy. I know having your own life is an important part of a relationship but I just don’t know how to do that right now. It’s so very difficult. I don’t know how to act. I’m a freak and I don’t want to push him away. I don’t know what to do to make myself better and less clingy. I feel like I’ll cling to anything right now. I just want to be a functional human being.
What do I do? How do I not push my boyfriend away? How do I get over this shit and get out of bed? If you have any advice I’d be thankful to hear it.
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research!
Nov. 9th, 2009 | 06:07 pm
posted by: ssristudy in crazy_academics
I was wondering if any of you could help me with my student research with the Meston Lab at The University of Texas.
Please read the flyer below. Thank you!!
Please read the flyer below. Thank you!!
Have you just started taking an antidepressant, or an anti-anxiety drug (within the last two weeks)?
Are you experiencing some problems in your sex life?
If you have started taking an SSRI (see list below for what is an SSRI) within the last two weeks, are having problems in your sex life, are over 18 and currently involved in a sexually active relationship, you qualify for our research study. We are looking at sexual functioning in people taking SSRIs. If you participate, you will be asked to read some information and fill out three surveys about your sexual functioning online on a secure, confidential website.
The study offers you an opportunity to receive information about your anti-depressant/ anti-anxiety medication as well as a chance to win a cash prize of $50. This study can be done online, at your own convenience in your own home.
For more information, please follow this link to the study website:
(Please note: if you participate, you will be asked to create a login for the survey website that consists of your email address. This information will be for your own use and will not be used to identify you or link you to your responses in any way).
https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=1217
SSRIs include:
citalopram (Celexa, Cipramil, Emocal, Sepram, Seropram)
escitalopram oxalate (Lexapro, Cipralex, Esertia)
fluoxetine (Prozac, Fontex, Seromex, Seronil, Sarafem, Fluctin (EUR))
fluvoxamine maleate (Luvox, Faverin)
paroxetine (Paxil, Seroxat, Aropax, Deroxat, Paroxat)
sertraline (Zoloft, Lustral, Serlain)
dapoxetine (no known trade name)
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HELP WITH LETTER
Nov. 6th, 2009 | 10:49 am
posted by: songindarkness in crazy_academics
Is this too pathetic for an explanatory letter to my Masters project supervisor? I kind of disappeared on him and didn't reply to his emails, I felt so bad. It's so disgustingly pathetic that I did that. Anyway, I can't even tell right now if this is a sensible email.
Dear ______,
I'm really sorry I haven't been in touch. I haven't been well enough to come in - I've been finding it difficult to concentrate and cope with everyday things and that led to me avoiding the issue. I realise it may seem I haven't been in touch because I don't care and I'm not interested in making the time for this project and that is not true. I am sorry about that. I did not want to trouble you or the university like this. I am very committed to getting the work done and I believe I am making progress, even though it may not seem like it. I have spoken to Peter about my situation today, and Janet, and they are trying to arrange an extension. I have given in a letter from my psychologist, and I can show you a copy. I have been seeing the doctor and have been prescribed medication for my depression, and I have been seeing the university psychologist for the last 4 months as well so I believe that my condition is improving, although much, much slower than I would like. I understand that you may have problems with working with me now, so I wanted to explain my condition.
I can meet you today to explain further if you would like and just to discuss what I am to do. I have read the paper you sent me, along with some of your papers on CALNN and mixed monolayers, among others, and I am making progress on the literature review. I am finishing it this weekend so I will be in a position to come into the lab on Monday.
Regards,
ME
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Not sure I can do this.
Nov. 3rd, 2009 | 11:55 pm
mood: 
depressed
posted by: puzzelo in crazy_academics
Just to recap
Diagnosed with Tourettes, moderate depression, ADHD, anxiety disorder, speech block.
I'm on Effexor 150mg, Tenex 2mg, Klonopin 1mg, Synthroid 75mcg, adderal 5mg, some other medical stuff.
Lately I've had this overwhelming feeling of: There's no way I can finish college. I'm sure everyone has that feeling but crap, what if I can't finish college? I guess I feel this way because college isn't fun for me. I mean I wake up, go to class, get annoyed at people, go home and study (sometimes). And I'm very scared of the idea that I have 3 more years of this left. I don't want to be miserable for the next 3 years but something is telling me college isn't really the problem.
Not so lately, I've been feeling apathetic towards a lot of things. A lot of things meaning everything. It's been going on for a while and I've tried some behavioral modifications such as positive thinking and drawing my feelings and thinking about the future positives, but this stuff just isn't working anymore. A couple weeks ago I decided to try and take a new additude about school and really try to enjoy my expensive-ass education. That lasted for like 3 days.
Everything else is good. The Adderal has helped me study some, I'm on a low dose but I can still tell it's helping. My tics have been good, and I'm very glad the Adderal has not made them worse. My anxiety is good, I still have panic attacks but in all consideration it is good for me. It seems like a depression is slipping up into my life again. I will tell my psychiatrist but what if she wants to change my medication? I really don't want to change from Effexor because before I had Effexor I was basically living in the hospital psych ward (in and out in and out). I was hoping I could go up on the dosage, but I realized that I'm on the highest dose. I know in some situations doctors will give patients higher dosages but I don't know. I don't know what to do, maybe there are more "life changing" things I can do to help me be happier. I'm involved in extracurricular activities already, but it seems like the only thing that's made me happy lately is shopping. I just want to spend money and I'm afraid of turning into my mom who has bipolar type 1.
I'm kinda lost.
Diagnosed with Tourettes, moderate depression, ADHD, anxiety disorder, speech block.
I'm on Effexor 150mg, Tenex 2mg, Klonopin 1mg, Synthroid 75mcg, adderal 5mg, some other medical stuff.
Lately I've had this overwhelming feeling of: There's no way I can finish college. I'm sure everyone has that feeling but crap, what if I can't finish college? I guess I feel this way because college isn't fun for me. I mean I wake up, go to class, get annoyed at people, go home and study (sometimes). And I'm very scared of the idea that I have 3 more years of this left. I don't want to be miserable for the next 3 years but something is telling me college isn't really the problem.
Not so lately, I've been feeling apathetic towards a lot of things. A lot of things meaning everything. It's been going on for a while and I've tried some behavioral modifications such as positive thinking and drawing my feelings and thinking about the future positives, but this stuff just isn't working anymore. A couple weeks ago I decided to try and take a new additude about school and really try to enjoy my expensive-ass education. That lasted for like 3 days.
Everything else is good. The Adderal has helped me study some, I'm on a low dose but I can still tell it's helping. My tics have been good, and I'm very glad the Adderal has not made them worse. My anxiety is good, I still have panic attacks but in all consideration it is good for me. It seems like a depression is slipping up into my life again. I will tell my psychiatrist but what if she wants to change my medication? I really don't want to change from Effexor because before I had Effexor I was basically living in the hospital psych ward (in and out in and out). I was hoping I could go up on the dosage, but I realized that I'm on the highest dose. I know in some situations doctors will give patients higher dosages but I don't know. I don't know what to do, maybe there are more "life changing" things I can do to help me be happier. I'm involved in extracurricular activities already, but it seems like the only thing that's made me happy lately is shopping. I just want to spend money and I'm afraid of turning into my mom who has bipolar type 1.
I'm kinda lost.
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support site
Oct. 28th, 2009 | 09:01 am
posted by: potterfreak1 in crazy_academics
hey everyone,
i am a college student who has a variety of mental illnesses, depression, ptsd, abuse past, mpd (multiple personality disorder), and learning disabilities. i am a psych major and i made a supportive website that i think will help everyone no matter what you need help with. it has topics on everything from general to suicide. please take a look at it and i hope to see you around.
http://selfhelp.yuku.com
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Problems with therapy
Oct. 26th, 2009 | 10:15 pm
posted by: kova in crazy_academics
(re-intro)
Christopher
Diagnosis: Bipolar 1
Meds: Seroquel, Risperdal, Lamictal, Trazodone, Zoloft
Psychology major, English minor
I'm confused about therapy. I was embarrassed and felt awkward after a therapy session with a new therapist because I didn't know what to say, and I'm wondering if there's any benefit to therapy for the moment except for pleasing others who would have me stay in therapy. I'm wondering if I should just break from or discontinue therapy completely or keep trying to find a therapist with whom I'm willing to build a relationship. I really don't know what to do. I can't decide whether or not I want talk therapy.
My old therapist of about a year moved onto something else, and she helped me find a new one before she left. It's been difficult getting along with this new one for a variety of reasons, the primary one being that we just don't seem to get along in terms of approach. She does things other than CBT with which I'm not familiar or comfortable. She's different from the person I used to see, she seems fake. But another reason is that I just don't have problems that I'm willing to share with a therapist now. I have an anxiety about therapy in general in that it doesn't feel like I'm talking to a friend, just someone who's paid to hear my problems and sound as if they care. My current therapist assured me she enjoyed having me there and looked forward to me coming in, but I don't buy it. I imagine them leaving the session and complaining to other people about the new difficult client they're having. It hinders, if not kills, my ability to talk about myself to her.
I keep getting persuaded back into therapy by others because it just seems to go hand-in-hand with seeing a psychiatrist and having life problems. I tried to participate in it again to please other people, but I'm not really sure what to do with not wanting to talk about things. I do have issues, but they're something I don't think can be helped by talking to someone. I'm ambivalent about that idea, though, and part of me thinks I could benefit if I were helped along to find a focus.
I guess I'm asking a lot of questions. Should I try to find a new therapist who could guide me into what I should talk about? Is there any benefit to be had for trying without an established goal of therapy? How do I find a goal? Because I'm not particularly interested in therapy at the moment, is it just not for me right now?
I thank anyone who would have thoughts.
(heavily edited several times)
Christopher
Diagnosis: Bipolar 1
Meds: Seroquel, Risperdal, Lamictal, Trazodone, Zoloft
Psychology major, English minor
I'm confused about therapy. I was embarrassed and felt awkward after a therapy session with a new therapist because I didn't know what to say, and I'm wondering if there's any benefit to therapy for the moment except for pleasing others who would have me stay in therapy. I'm wondering if I should just break from or discontinue therapy completely or keep trying to find a therapist with whom I'm willing to build a relationship. I really don't know what to do. I can't decide whether or not I want talk therapy.
My old therapist of about a year moved onto something else, and she helped me find a new one before she left. It's been difficult getting along with this new one for a variety of reasons, the primary one being that we just don't seem to get along in terms of approach. She does things other than CBT with which I'm not familiar or comfortable. She's different from the person I used to see, she seems fake. But another reason is that I just don't have problems that I'm willing to share with a therapist now. I have an anxiety about therapy in general in that it doesn't feel like I'm talking to a friend, just someone who's paid to hear my problems and sound as if they care. My current therapist assured me she enjoyed having me there and looked forward to me coming in, but I don't buy it. I imagine them leaving the session and complaining to other people about the new difficult client they're having. It hinders, if not kills, my ability to talk about myself to her.
I keep getting persuaded back into therapy by others because it just seems to go hand-in-hand with seeing a psychiatrist and having life problems. I tried to participate in it again to please other people, but I'm not really sure what to do with not wanting to talk about things. I do have issues, but they're something I don't think can be helped by talking to someone. I'm ambivalent about that idea, though, and part of me thinks I could benefit if I were helped along to find a focus.
I guess I'm asking a lot of questions. Should I try to find a new therapist who could guide me into what I should talk about? Is there any benefit to be had for trying without an established goal of therapy? How do I find a goal? Because I'm not particularly interested in therapy at the moment, is it just not for me right now?
I thank anyone who would have thoughts.
(heavily edited several times)
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school and apathy
Oct. 26th, 2009 | 02:55 pm
posted by: skyeternal in crazy_academics
I'm finding myself being more and more apathetic when it comes to caring about school. Part of me just doesn't care about school anymore. So I just procrastinate and end up either just barely passing a class or dropping it. My life outside of school is not great but it's not horrid. It's so so. I know apathy is part of depression but I'm not too keen on messing around with my medication because it took a LONG time to find what works best for me. The "best" concoction of meds that I'm on is not ideal but it's better than nothing. Anyway I figure there's only so much that medication can do you for you.
At times I kinda feel like a washed up has been. I'm 25 and I only have 2 years of schooling to show for myself. No achievements, no job experience. Nothing. I'm just a 25 year old junior in college. When I was 18,19 I can recall starting school all optimistic and eager. I did really well grade-wise. Now I find myself having trouble caring. The whole being 25 and still being in college wouldn't bother me so much if I felt like I had achievements under my belt. The achievements are not so much for anyone else to see but for my self-esteem. I mean everyone wants to feel like they've accomplished something in their life right? I know comparing yourself to other people is a cardinal sin but I can't help but do it and feel bad about myself. I don't know if other people will judge me because of this but I care even if they don't care one way or another.
The constant insomnia and fatigue that I experience doesn't help matters. Right now I'm just wanting to lay down and sleep. Part of me is disgusted at my apathy. Depression or not maybe I'm just lazy? I don't know really.
At times I kinda feel like a washed up has been. I'm 25 and I only have 2 years of schooling to show for myself. No achievements, no job experience. Nothing. I'm just a 25 year old junior in college. When I was 18,19 I can recall starting school all optimistic and eager. I did really well grade-wise. Now I find myself having trouble caring. The whole being 25 and still being in college wouldn't bother me so much if I felt like I had achievements under my belt. The achievements are not so much for anyone else to see but for my self-esteem. I mean everyone wants to feel like they've accomplished something in their life right? I know comparing yourself to other people is a cardinal sin but I can't help but do it and feel bad about myself. I don't know if other people will judge me because of this but I care even if they don't care one way or another.
The constant insomnia and fatigue that I experience doesn't help matters. Right now I'm just wanting to lay down and sleep. Part of me is disgusted at my apathy. Depression or not maybe I'm just lazy? I don't know really.
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Terminating sessions with a new counselor?
Oct. 25th, 2009 | 02:36 pm
posted by: ittybittyme in crazy_academics
Hi guys,
I recently graduated but didn't know where else to go for advice like this.
I moved in June to a new city and had to find a new counselor. I finally found a place a few weeks ago and I was placed with a counselor (I had no say in who I saw at this facility). I have been to see her 3 times. I don't really feel like I have clicked with her at all. She doesn't remember anything (even though she writes it all down so you'd think she'd review it before I got there). She'll summarize what we talked about in the last visit and will get what I said and how I feel all wrong. She's really abrasive and I don't feel like she gives a shit. I really don't think its going to work out (probably mostly because I don't want it to work with her).
How do I go about terminating therapy with her? I would love to just be able to call and tell her but I don't think thats the right thing to do. I just don't know if I am going to be strong enough to do it in person. I feel like she will some how talk me into continuing with her.
I have never had to do this before. I've always had good luck with my counselors but this time is different.
Any advice would be really great! I an appt. with her tomorrow.
Thanks!
I recently graduated but didn't know where else to go for advice like this.
I moved in June to a new city and had to find a new counselor. I finally found a place a few weeks ago and I was placed with a counselor (I had no say in who I saw at this facility). I have been to see her 3 times. I don't really feel like I have clicked with her at all. She doesn't remember anything (even though she writes it all down so you'd think she'd review it before I got there). She'll summarize what we talked about in the last visit and will get what I said and how I feel all wrong. She's really abrasive and I don't feel like she gives a shit. I really don't think its going to work out (probably mostly because I don't want it to work with her).
How do I go about terminating therapy with her? I would love to just be able to call and tell her but I don't think thats the right thing to do. I just don't know if I am going to be strong enough to do it in person. I feel like she will some how talk me into continuing with her.
I have never had to do this before. I've always had good luck with my counselors but this time is different.
Any advice would be really great! I an appt. with her tomorrow.
Thanks!
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Bring Change 2 Mind
Oct. 21st, 2009 | 12:39 pm
posted by: girlyouknew in crazy_academics
Talking the Mental Health Stigma Away: John Mayer & Glenn Close I think the biggest thing to realize about mental illness is that it is a lifelong struggle for many. You don’t just pop some pills and get better. Often you’ll be taking those pills all of your life, and they don’t automatically work. It’s a process where patience is key. And while many people can be helped within months of starting their journey into mental health wellness, you should not feel defeated if you don’t have it happen for you like that.
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extreme perfectionist???
Oct. 12th, 2009 | 02:56 pm
posted by: kant_decide in crazy_academics
Does anyone else have this problem?
I'm such an extreme perfectionist that I won't hand in assignments/write out exam answers/voice out my opinions etc in class unless I'm sure it's good enough...=\
It's caused me to fail out of university. Making me a REAL failure. (which I'll admit has been very very hard for me to deal with even though on the surface, i seem fine.)
And, I cant tell anyone I know in person about it because...it'll make me seem imperfect.
of course, on top of that, I also have a lot of other (undiagnosed) issues...I almost got diagnosed with ADD, but would not let them because I could not deal with being stuck with such a label. On top of that, I have anxiety issues too.
FML =(
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Eco-Psychology
Oct. 9th, 2009 | 03:12 pm
location: Student Union
mood: 
productive
music: Morrissey
posted by: naturalist1133 in crazy_academics
Does anybody here go to a school with an eco-psychological therapy option for their students? I'm on our campus environmental sustainability committee, and it's something others on the committee would like to see happen as well. I'm just wondering if there are some models I could look at before driving ahead with my own ideas.
For my own illness, nature and a continued exposure to the ecology around me has really helped me through some tough times. I would like to get something started for others who may have an interest.
For my own illness, nature and a continued exposure to the ecology around me has really helped me through some tough times. I would like to get something started for others who may have an interest.
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Help on a story about students with ADD?
Oct. 1st, 2009 | 09:05 pm
posted by: onebeermcgee in crazy_academics
Hi everyone,
I'm a recent graduate from UC Berkeley's journalism school and am trying to find out some information for a story on college students with ADD. From what I've heard, it's really difficult for students at some colleges to get insurance coverage for their ADD meds or to get extended time on tests or other academic services. If you've had any experiences like this, or other experiences you'd like to share, I'd love it if you'd email me. I don't have to use your name if you aren't comfortable with that--right now I'm just looking for some basic information on issues for college students with ADD/ADHD.
Please email me at: adhdsources@gmail.com
Thanks so much!
I'm a recent graduate from UC Berkeley's journalism school and am trying to find out some information for a story on college students with ADD. From what I've heard, it's really difficult for students at some colleges to get insurance coverage for their ADD meds or to get extended time on tests or other academic services. If you've had any experiences like this, or other experiences you'd like to share, I'd love it if you'd email me. I don't have to use your name if you aren't comfortable with that--right now I'm just looking for some basic information on issues for college students with ADD/ADHD.
Please email me at: adhdsources@gmail.com
Thanks so much!
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Back Again
Sep. 28th, 2009 | 02:38 pm
location: Home
mood: 
bored
music: The Smiths
posted by: naturalist1133 in crazy_academics
I am back again. I was on here before but got embarrassed over my previous entries, as I'm bound to do again, and I deleted that whole account. So, here's my introduction once more:
Current Diagnoses: None (I haven't really been seeing anyone in years.)
Past Diagnoses: Depression, Anxiety, Multiple Substance Abuse, and Borderline Personality Disorder
Therapist Suspects: No Therapist.
Major: Conservation and Environmental Science
Minor: Biology, Geography
Current Medications: None, just trying to eat healthily.
Past Medications: Remeron, Ambien, Zoloft
I go to the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee. I guess my mental illness manifested itself when I was 16, and since then, it's been a ride. My major has changed multiple times. I've done drastic things like joining the Army National Guard and then being discharged when I came out about my bisexuality. Then, and I don't and never will regret this, I got married to a wonderful wife. That is probably the best thing I have ever done, besides deciding to finally get a degree in conservation and environmental science. The year of 2009 has been great to me, but autumn has this way of bringing up the past. I finally have a goal, and it's within sight. I will graduate in the Spring of 2011 with the major and two minors. There is no reason I should not be able to pull this off. I won't let depression or my periodic impulsiveness get in the way of another semester. I've been in the hospital a total of four times due to this "crazy" side of myself and will not let it happen again. I've found this community to be a good place to share things in the past, and perhaps it will help again. My only request is that people don't urge me to get on medication. I've been on it in the past, and I'm personally against it. Fine if it works for you, but I don't trust the industry with my body and mind.
There you have it.
Oh, and I just set up an appointment with a psychologist for tomorrow morning, so I am taking action. I haven't seen anybody very consistently at all in the past, but this is free through my school for the "short term." Besides that, my health insurance doesn't make it financially feasible for me to seek mental health assistance.
Current Diagnoses: None (I haven't really been seeing anyone in years.)
Past Diagnoses: Depression, Anxiety, Multiple Substance Abuse, and Borderline Personality Disorder
Therapist Suspects: No Therapist.
Major: Conservation and Environmental Science
Minor: Biology, Geography
Current Medications: None, just trying to eat healthily.
Past Medications: Remeron, Ambien, Zoloft
I go to the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee. I guess my mental illness manifested itself when I was 16, and since then, it's been a ride. My major has changed multiple times. I've done drastic things like joining the Army National Guard and then being discharged when I came out about my bisexuality. Then, and I don't and never will regret this, I got married to a wonderful wife. That is probably the best thing I have ever done, besides deciding to finally get a degree in conservation and environmental science. The year of 2009 has been great to me, but autumn has this way of bringing up the past. I finally have a goal, and it's within sight. I will graduate in the Spring of 2011 with the major and two minors. There is no reason I should not be able to pull this off. I won't let depression or my periodic impulsiveness get in the way of another semester. I've been in the hospital a total of four times due to this "crazy" side of myself and will not let it happen again. I've found this community to be a good place to share things in the past, and perhaps it will help again. My only request is that people don't urge me to get on medication. I've been on it in the past, and I'm personally against it. Fine if it works for you, but I don't trust the industry with my body and mind.
There you have it.
Oh, and I just set up an appointment with a psychologist for tomorrow morning, so I am taking action. I haven't seen anybody very consistently at all in the past, but this is free through my school for the "short term." Besides that, my health insurance doesn't make it financially feasible for me to seek mental health assistance.
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Is there something wrong with me!??!?
Sep. 27th, 2009 | 10:18 am
posted by: prttyinpink809 in crazy_academics
Diagnosis: bipolar
Meds: Depakote...750 mg daily.
I'm just..so confused right now. I don't know what to do or how to handle it. I hate school. No matter what happens, I always seem to find myself coming back to this dilemma.
I don't feel like school is for me, I can't bring myself to care. I could get past simply "not liking it". I know it's something I probably should do.
But I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think it's for me. I really feel like I need a more 'career oriented' kind of environment.
I feel so lost, so incredibly unmotivated...and I just don't care! I haven't found anything that I'm passionate about, I've missed classes, and I just can't bring myself to care.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??!?!?!?!
Why don't I care?!?!? I'm in community college. I'm not even in a 4 year institute. Sometimes I really feel like I miss the whole 'college experience'. But the only thing I miss is the social part, interacting with people.
Other than that, I just can't seem to bring myself to give a shit. I don't know what I should do or what other options I should explore.
Does it even matter how I feel? Should I just say "fuck it, even though i feel like i really don't belong here, i NEED TO DO THIS'' ?!
Meds: Depakote...750 mg daily.
I'm just..so confused right now. I don't know what to do or how to handle it. I hate school. No matter what happens, I always seem to find myself coming back to this dilemma.
I don't feel like school is for me, I can't bring myself to care. I could get past simply "not liking it". I know it's something I probably should do.
But I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think it's for me. I really feel like I need a more 'career oriented' kind of environment.
I feel so lost, so incredibly unmotivated...and I just don't care! I haven't found anything that I'm passionate about, I've missed classes, and I just can't bring myself to care.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??!?!?!?!
Why don't I care?!?!? I'm in community college. I'm not even in a 4 year institute. Sometimes I really feel like I miss the whole 'college experience'. But the only thing I miss is the social part, interacting with people.
Other than that, I just can't seem to bring myself to give a shit. I don't know what I should do or what other options I should explore.
Does it even matter how I feel? Should I just say "fuck it, even though i feel like i really don't belong here, i NEED TO DO THIS'' ?!