erniemenard ([info]erniemenard) wrote in [info]cranky_editors,
@ 2007-07-17 13:34:00
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Entry tags:authors-airheaded and insane, snark

Besides hell...

tell me where to go. I'd like somebody to read something I may have written. I'm not sure what the quid pro quo could be as my constructive criticism skills for prose are nonexistent. (After all, a person should know something well to offer constructive crtiticism.)

I need an objective opinion to determine whether I should finish the story that has been started. And, if I do finish it, whether I should attempt to publish.


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[info]mazzie
2007-07-17 06:48 pm UTC (link)
Not here.
We do it for a living (by and large) and come here to bitch about people like you.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]erniemenard
2007-07-17 06:52 pm UTC (link)
Thank you. I have now been informed that I have come to the wrong place.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
You're welcome.
[info]mazzie
2007-07-17 06:53 pm UTC (link)
You could have read that in the userinfo, seeing as how it seems you created an account just to post here. It would have saved you the trouble.

-- Please note that the name of this community is cranky_editors, not "advice to authors" or "how to steal our jobs when you grow up." (We did mention we were cranky, right?) Feel free to ask, but we are unlikely to answer (especially if there are editorial errors in your question, which happens far too frequently for our liking; you'd be surprised). You might also wish to ask at editorsupport.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: You're welcome. - [info]erniemenard, 2007-07-17 07:04 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]noelleleithe, 2007-07-17 07:18 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]shadows783, 2007-07-17 07:22 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]mazzie, 2007-07-17 07:34 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]erniemenard, 2007-07-17 07:33 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]mazzie, 2007-07-17 07:37 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]noelleleithe, 2007-07-17 08:21 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]mayhemwench, 2007-07-17 07:28 pm UTC
green alligators, too - [info]erniemenard, 2007-07-17 08:07 pm UTC
Re: green alligators, too - [info]mazzie, 2007-07-17 08:10 pm UTC
Re: green alligators, too - [info]mayhemwench, 2007-07-17 08:10 pm UTC
Re: green alligators, too - [info]mayhemwench, 2007-07-17 08:11 pm UTC
Re: green alligators, too - [info]shadows783, 2007-07-17 08:54 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]stephanie206, 2007-07-17 09:57 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]betnoir, 2007-07-17 10:11 pm UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]stephanie206, 2007-07-18 12:56 am UTC
Re: You're welcome. - [info]helcat, 2007-07-18 02:29 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-07-17 07:00 pm UTC (link)
www.critters.org

or www.onlinewritingworkshop.com are both great places for genre fiction critiques.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]erniemenard
2007-07-17 07:07 pm UTC (link)
The story is non-fiction.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]erniemenard
2007-07-17 07:09 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, though. I will check both.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]roane
2007-07-17 07:29 pm UTC (link)
In addition to what everyone else has said, as a general rule of thumb: yes, you should finish what you've started, because nobody can tell you if it's any good until it's finished.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]erniemenard
2007-07-17 07:43 pm UTC (link)
I have enough written that a judgment call could be made. Further, what is written should be, ultimately, civil action proof. (Of course this depends on the forum and which judge is in who's pocket.) The remainder is not necessarily so.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]roane
2007-07-17 07:47 pm UTC (link)
If that's the case, you need a lawyer and not an editor, and you really are barking up the wrong tree.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]wordweaverlynn, 2007-07-17 08:45 pm UTC

[info]betnoir
2007-07-17 07:55 pm UTC (link)
Hello!

This is one of your Editorially Cranky Moderators, here to steer you toward our user info page, in particular, the section that reads:

"Please note that the name of this community is [info]cranky_editors, not 'advice to authors' or 'how to steal our jobs when you grow up.' (We did mention we were cranky, right?) Feel free to ask, but we are unlikely to answer (especially if there are editorial errors in your question, which happens far too frequently for our liking; you'd be surprised). You might also wish to ask at [info]editorsupport."

I hope this answers your question.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mazzie
2007-07-17 07:57 pm UTC (link)
I tried. It didn't work.

In the above thread s/he responded to my posting the same with:

Actually, (a) I am already grown up, and, (b)I am not an author, and, (c) I like my current job which entails welding, finishing concrete, digging ditches, fabricating forms, designing on the spot fixes for problems, and carpentry, etc..

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
User Info?
[info]erniemenard
2007-07-17 08:02 pm UTC (link)
But you people sure are fun to poke, even if the poke was inadvertent. I hope y'all have vented a bit now. My sincerest apologies for failing to read the user info page. This page is likely something nobody reads, similar to disclaimers.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: User Info? - [info]mazzie, 2007-07-17 08:05 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]erniemenard, 2007-07-17 08:20 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]mazzie, 2007-07-17 08:22 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]thatwasjen, 2007-07-18 02:07 am UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]helcat, 2007-07-18 02:34 am UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]noelleleithe, 2007-07-17 08:27 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]erniemenard, 2007-07-17 08:36 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]mazzie, 2007-07-17 08:39 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]barbarienne, 2007-07-17 09:01 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]betnoir, 2007-07-18 02:11 am UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]wordweaverlynn, 2007-07-17 08:48 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]debgeisler, 2007-07-17 10:42 pm UTC
Re: User Info? - [info]helcat, 2007-07-18 03:51 am UTC

[info]betnoir
2007-07-18 02:08 am UTC (link)
As Teddy Roosevelt stated:

Speak softly and carry a big stick.

*shrug*

It was worth a shot.

Carry oh, then.



(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]erniemenard
2007-07-17 07:57 pm UTC (link)
What a hornet's nest!!

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[info]fervid_unicorn
2007-07-17 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Speaking as a unicorn (who would love to romp through a sunshine-filled meadow instead of edit her current ESL book), I know there's a lot of cranky poking with horns here, but twenty-five comments about an improper post seems a bit excessive. Maybe we should just let a moderator make one comment next time around. That's just my gentle suggestion. Now I'm off to chase butterflies and try to make sense of my word-jumble of a manuscript.

(Author is to be speaking Spanish fine no good English talking. To be making editor of him crazy.)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]erniemenard
2007-07-17 08:40 pm UTC (link)
THANK YOU. I'm off to google 'non-fiction writer critiquing.'

Later.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]mazzie
2007-07-17 08:42 pm UTC (link)
See?

We helped.


*wipe tear*

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[info]helcat
2007-07-18 02:36 am UTC (link)
Yeah, well, as the a.m. moderator, usually I delete or freeze posts that cross a line. but since I'm in hell-deadline world, I missed this one til after all the comedy rolled in.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]fervid_unicorn
2007-07-18 02:48 am UTC (link)
It happens. I had a rough day myself. I'm glad to have you monitors around, though, and I think this is a reminder for us to defer to your judgment and tact.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]debgeisler
2007-07-17 10:46 pm UTC (link)
I'd like somebody to read something I may have written.

For one brief, shining moment, I thought we were being asked to evaluate some piece of writing for a time-traveling amnesiac.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]stephanie206
2007-07-18 12:51 am UTC (link)
I *actually* laughed out loud!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]ontherunaround
2007-07-18 01:31 pm UTC (link)
Hee! And since everybody knows that the problem with time-travel is, in fact, the grammar...

(Reply to this) (Parent)
You can dish out the cranky, but can you take it?
(Anonymous)
2007-07-17 11:12 pm UTC (link)
Original Post: I’m an author who wants to know if I’m any good. Tell me now. Who can tell me?

Mazzie: Not us. We hate your kind. Go away.

Erniemenard: Oh. I’ll just put my tail between my legs now.

Mazzie: Well, you’re obviously an idiot since you didn’t read the rules first.

Erniemenard: Hey! Let’s just ignore the fact that I didn’t read the rules for now, okay? I put my story up on a blog and people slammed it. I’m entitled to some sympathy, and now I’m insecure.

Cranky Editor #1: Um, you’re a bad communicator. What blog? Our blog? Your blog? I’m confused.

Cranky Editor #2: Me too. Huh?

Erniemenard: Oh, sorry. Let me explain it all in detail for you and ask for more advice ’cause I make a hobby of pressing my luck.

Mazzie: Now you’re really pissing me off. Try Google, moron.

Erniemenard: Wow, I really have pissed people off. This is kind of fun. I think I’ll make a unicorn metaphor. That’ll really piss ’em off. Here I go. Poke, poke, poke.

Mazzie: I will now correct your grammar, inferior being.

More bitching and legal talk.

Moderator: It’s probably futile, but I’m going to try to do my job now. Maybe my presence will make people back off.

Mazzie: Fat chance. I’m doing your job for you. And this author started it!

Erniemenard: Ha, ha. This is fun; I’ve got to admit it. Poke, poke, poke.

Mazzie: You drove me to it: flounce.

Erniemenard: Flounce? Flounce? I don’t know what it means, but you’re clearly using it to sound superior to me, and I’m going to act insulted and like I know JUST what it means!

Cranky Editor #3: Can’t we all just get along and let the moderator moderate?

Erniemenard: Ha. See? I won. But FINE.

Mazzie: FINE! And no you didn't.

(Reply to this)


[info]pfflyernc
2007-07-18 01:32 am UTC (link)
*sniff* Our first troll! I'm so proud.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]betnoir
2007-07-18 02:05 am UTC (link)
If only that were true...

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