WHAT IS THIS --

I MEAN.

I AM THE GREAT AND MIGHTY

FAGGOT TREE.

I BEAR MIGHTY FRUIT, WHICH WILL GIVE YOU UNIMAGINABLE POWER.

AMAZING POWER.

COME. EAT OF MY FRUIT. YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.

((OOC: HE'S A GIGANTIC LIAR. HIS FRUIT WILL DO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS TO YOU, AND YOU CAN PICK WHAT:

1. MAKE YOU GAY. OBVIOUSLY. IF YOU'RE ALREADY GAY, THIS WILL MAKE YOU SUPER GAY.
2. MAKE YOU STRAIGHT. IF YOU'RE ALREADY STRAIGHT, THIS WILL MAKE YOU EVEN STRAIGHTER.
3. RENDER YOU IMPOTENT.
4. DO NOTHING.
5. CAUSE AN INEXPLICABLE FASCINATION IN YOU FOR BUNDLES OF STICKS.

ALL OF THIS IS TEMPORARY. EVENTUALLY HE WILL RUN OUT OF FRUIT AND DISAPPEAR. BUT, UH, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT HIS FRUIT AND JUST HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM, THAT'S COOL TOO.))