Current mood:	cold
Current music:	Wicked Soundtrack
Entry tags:	challenge: smiley-face boxers, content: fanfic

“That Smiley-face Boxers Incident”

By: Enkidu

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kakashi/Sasuke

Warnings: Yaoi. Naked, pissy Sasuke. Foul language. Sexual situations.

Summary: Title is self-explanatory. *Coughs*

Author’s Comment: Yes, I’m a dork. I answered my own challenge out of boredom. This was written in between classes while freezing my ass off in my dorm and listening to the soundtrack to “Wicked” if that explains anything. I really should be doing some homework. -_-;;;

Notes: Sasuke- Age 15, Kakashi- Age 29.

Sasuke had woken up in a bad mood. Well, he was always in a bad mood, but today, he was in an especially bad mood.

It all started when he woke up naked, cold, and alone in Kakashi’s bed. The sheets were all twisted and tangled up in his legs, thus offering him no protection from the cold air. Sasuke despised the cold, always turned off the air conditioner, and always glared at Kakashi when the jounin insisted on putting the air conditioner as low as possible. It was just his luck that he was sharing an apartment –and a bed- with someone who adored the cold for some reason. Kakashi didn’t offer any explanation for his fondness of the cold, and Sasuke didn’t particularly care. Either way, he was still annoyed at waking up frozen every morning.

Of course, usually every morning, he’d wake up to a nice warm body to shamelessly cuddle against –not that he’d admit to cuddling-, but not this morning. This morning, he was sprawled across the bed, reeking of sex and Kakashi and grimacing at the sticky sensation in certain parts of his body that he’d rather not have sticky.

Cursing the jounin’s name, Sasuke engaged in an all-out battle with the musty white sheets that were caught on his long, pale legs. He kicked furiously at them, spat curses, and glared, summoning up his sharingan as if that could offer any help to his current situation. The sheets refused to back down and seemed to tighten around his calves like a horny snake, assuming horny snakes behaved in such a way.

It wasn’t long before Sasuke found himself rolling onto the floor with a pathetic thud that probably woke up his downstairs neighbors. Sasuke was not amused and bitched at his sheets, threatening to breathe fire to rid himself of the demon disguised as linen fabric. However, he had no desire to set his legs on fire or risk having open flames near certain sensitive areas of his body, so instead, he pushed himself to his feet and dragged the sheet with him to the bathroom, letting it fall on its own while on his way.

After a long, scalding hot shower, Sasuke walked out of the bathroom dripping wet, scowling at the absence of any towels. His first instinct was to check the linen closet before remembering that Kakashi did not possess a linen closet. Rather, the jounin stuffed towels beneath the bathroom sink, and after checking, Sasuke realized there were no towels left. This prompted more cursing and a naked Sasuke stomping around, searching futilely for a towel.

“Damn it! Where the hell are the towels?!” He yelled to no one in particular.

Five minutes later, Sasuke gave up. Seven minutes later, it occurred to Sasuke to turn the air off. Ten minutes later, Sasuke went on a search for clothes, and of course, all his clothes just happened to be missing with the towels.

Sasuke was not amused.

He plopped down hard on the bed after fishing out the one shirt of his that seemed to be present in the apartment. Of course it was torn in the middle by an over-eager Kakashi who was too horny to bother tugging it from his head during foreplay. Sasuke scowled at the memory, murmuring the word “pervert” under his breath. He didn’t enjoy his clothes being casualties of enthusiastic sex.

This had to be some sort of sick joke. All his clothes couldn’t have just suddenly disappeared. Sasuke wanted to blame Kakashi, figured his teacher probably took them on purpose, and wasn’t particularly pleased with that fact. Sometimes, he just didn’t understand the older man. If he wanted sex, why didn’t he just ask like normal people?

Of course, Sasuke would immediately turn him down since that was just not the way to get him into bed. In retrospect, jumping Sasuke and tearing his clothes off did, indeed, seem to be quite the effective method. Sasuke scowled even further.

It took another five minutes before he decided glaring at the floor wasn’t getting him anywhere; so, he started to dig through the drawers and search for something he could steal from Kakashi since he’d already decided it was the jounin’s fault that he was naked, cold, miserable, etc.

He encountered several torn, bloody, cut-up, and just plain dirty shirts and shorts, nothing remotely wearable. The boy was quite livid by this time. Oh, Kakashi was going to hear about it whenever he got home…from wherever he went.

Sasuke slammed the drawers shut and decided to search the closet for something, finding several hangers with nothing hanging on them. He made a mental note to put those to use if he ever found their clothes. Pushing aside a few boxes, Sasuke stood on the balls of his feet and tugged down a box in the back of high shelves in the closet that appeared to have clothes in it. After setting the box down, he dropped to his knees and started pushing aside questionable silk scarves and ropes, making a disgusted face when he pulled out some lacy bra. He hoped with every little bit of hope left inside his angsty self that it didn’t belong to Kakashi.

Setting the bra aside, his hands dove into the box again, pulling out more peculiar items, such as a steel ring, some aged chocolate sauce, a small t-shirt with a kitten on it, some grey socks, a red rubber ball, a pair of large boxers with smiley-faces on them, a lilac tank top, and a pair of hand cuffs.

With a sigh, he grabbed the small t-shirt and the boxers, resigning himself to the fact that this may very well be the only wearable clothing left in the apartment. He was definitely going to kill Kakashi when he came home.

After hastily getting dressed, he stuffed everything back into the box, leaving the hand cuffs out and hiding them under the mattress for future use. Kakashi wouldn’t suspect a thing.

Sasuke slid the box from where he took it from and threw the much despised sheets on the bed before laying down on them, deciding to go back to sleep in the nice, warming apartment, smiling a little as he plotted out revenge in his head. They didn’t call him an avenger for nothing.

When Kakashi arrived home later, he had expected Sasuke to still be sleeping. Sasuke always slept till very late in the afternoon when there was no training to be done, and he was sore from a night of, what Kakashi prided himself in calling, some really fucking great sex.

The jounin carried several bags filled with clothes into the apartment, slightly annoyed that he had to drag them all up the stairs by himself. He really should have woken Sasuke up to help him, but that hadn’t occurred to him until he reached the third flight of stairs. Now, he had finally arrived and was somewhat exhausted but not entirely winded. He dropped the bags on the floor and made his way to the bedroom to check on his young student.

Pausing at the doorway, his one visible eye scanned the room before landing on the bed and widening. There his young student was, strewn across white sheets in a light blue shirt with an adorable kitten that was a bit too small and tight, showing off nicely sculpted abdominal muscles and a navel he just loved dipping his tongue into. Even more comical were the smiley-face boxers that rode low on his hips, and with one of Sasuke’s legs bent, showed off a good amount of crotch area.

Kakashi was torn in between laughing at the boy’s chosen outfit or taking full advantage of the many patches of skin that were nicely peaking out of various compartments. Calmly, he removed his forehead protector (Kakashi made a point to never have sex with the Hidden Leaf symbol on his head) and the mask before silently creeping towards his bed.

He used his ninja stealth to crawl over the small body without waking him up, raising one hand and carefully slipping it into the wide leg holes of the smiley-face boxers, fingertips brushing over the crotch he had been eyeing seconds before.

The reaction he got was very pleasing. Sasuke half-groaned before shooting up with a tiny -and admittedly adorable- squeak and bumping his body against Kakashi’s.

Of course, Sasuke, being Sasuke, quickly recovered and shoved the hand away before shooting Kakashi a nasty look.

“Where the hell are all my clothes? Why was the apartment cold when you left? Why are you groping me while I’m sleeping? Why do you have a bra in your closet? Where did you go? What the hell is the matter with you?!”

Kakashi heaved out a long sigh, definitely not in the mood to deal with Sasuke’s pissiness. Remaining placated, his fingers drifted back to his student’s groin area, massaging him through the boxers as he looked Sasuke in the eye. Surprisingly enough, Sasuke let him, or rather, didn’t even notice as he waited for an answer.

“I took both our clothes to get washed in the laundry room in the basement while I went to a meeting because they were all dirty. It’s my apartment, and I enjoy it cold. If you want it hot, start paying me rent money. I’m groping you because you look cute dressed like this, if not a little demented. The bra was probably left over by some guest I had long before you lived here. I told you I went to a meeting. And finally, don’t go judging others when you’re the one wearing a shirt with a kitten on it and smiley-face boxers.”

Sasuke gave him an angry sneer. “Asshole.”

Kakashi looked thoughtful for a second before nodding. “That’s right. Thanks for reminding me.”

Before Sasuke could give him a confused look, a hand wormed its way under his rear, and a long, thin finger poked into the quarter-sized hole on the back of the boxers and into certain private crevices. Sasuke’s eyes went comically wide, and he jerked up with a noise of surprise.

“These used to be mine, you know,” Kakashi stated blandly, curling the finger inside of him.

“Stop molesting me,” Sasuke hissed vehemently. “I’m still pissed at you.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes and covered Sasuke’s mouth with his own, trying to seal off all protests. That didn’t stop Sasuke from continuing his muffled bitching before finally quieting down and letting Kakashi have his way…again.

---

And there you have it. Once again, not like how I planned, but whatever. A fic’s a fic. Time to go to class! -_-;