tmcmeditor ([info]tmcmeditor) wrote in [info]coffeefilter,
@ 2006-05-05 10:54:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
The Ninja Crime Epidemic

As everyone knows, ninja crime is rampant in this country. So thank God the ATF had the wisdom to step in when a University of Georgia student's hijinx got out of hand:

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents, on campus Tuesday for Project Safe Neighborhoods training, detained a "suspicious individual" near the Georgia Center, University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said.

Jeremiah Ransom, a sophomore from Macon, was leaving a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained.

"It was surreal," Ransom said. "I was jogging from Wesley to Snelling when I heard someone yell 'freeze.'"

Ransom said he thought a friend was playing a joke before he realized officers had guns drawn and pointed at him.

Think it was a coincidence that this joker's name is "Ransom"? Obviously, he's up to no good. My bet is, he's actually a ninja, but used some of that advanced ninja subterfuge to imitate a Georgia student. (If you'd like to try this at home, douse yourself in Old Milwaukee and say "y'all" a lot.)

Unsurprisingly, this punk has the commies at the ACLU on speed dial:

Ransom said he plans to meet with an attorney to discuss possible legal action against the ATF for their treatment of the situation.
If you ask me, they should throw his case out of court faster than you can say "zero ninja tolerance."

(Post a new comment)


[info]fenmere
2006-05-05 06:22 pm UTC (link)
I swear to god, I had no clue.

(Reply to this)


[info]bkun
2006-05-05 07:03 pm UTC (link)
Perhaps they should change their name to "Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Ninja stars".

(Reply to this)


[info]frippy
2006-05-05 07:11 pm UTC (link)
I was at a pirates vs. ninjas party last weekend and I was surprised the ATF didn't come through the door in a tank. There was sake and throwing stars everywhere. It was a real terror den.

Note that no pirates who had attended the event were detained. Just goes to show that the current administration has a very strong pro-pirate, anti-ninja bias.

Yeah, you heard me. I went there. I said it. George Bush doesn't care about ninjas.

(Reply to this)


[info]miss_kat_1968
2006-05-05 11:46 pm UTC (link)
You know, it should be PBR, not Old Milwaukee, although, I've been told, that will do in a pinch.

Also, who was the mastermind to schedule an ATF meeting on a college campus? Maybe they should stick to convention centers after this.

(Reply to this)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…