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Entry tags:	morgan/reid

Miles To Go Before We Sleep, Part Eight, Morgan/Reid
Title: Miles To Go Before We Sleep, part eight
Authors: innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing: Morgan/Reid
Rating: NC-17 this part (up to NC-17 for the entire fic)
Summary: After Reid goes off the rails in Texas, Morgan decides Reid needs a friend to support him through whatever he's going through. Several cases and "awesomely" bad sci-fi flicks later, they both realize "friendship" isn't exactly what they want...but sorting through the baggage that stands in the way of a closer relationship is more difficult than either of them expected. Starting immediately after "Elephant's Memory" and running beyond the end of "Lo-fi", this is a multi-chaptered, non-WIP fic.
Word count: this part, ~10,000; overall, ~130K
Spoilers: Entire series - specifically Profiler, Profiled, The Big Game/Revelations, Elephant's Memory, In Heat, Tabula Rasa, and Lo-Fi
Warnings: Overall: UST, references to past sexual abuse, drug use/references to past drug use
Notes: Written in RP format. Not currently AU, but it will be after season four starts, as we're writing our own ending to Lo-Fi. :) Also, we're beta'ing this ourselves now, so if you find any glaring errors, feel free to point them out! :D

Previous Parts: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven 1/2, Part Seven 2/2



It took Reid a moment to realize where he was when he woke up. His first thought had been that this didn't look like any hotel he'd ever seen before, and then it hit him suddenly where he was, and the memory of the night before flooded into his mind. Reid found himself grinning (and probably blushing, if the heat in his cheeks was any indication) before he could stop himself, and he yawned, settling in closer to Morgan.

Morgan had been drifting in and out of sleep for the past half hour, but when Reid snuggled closer against him, he woke up all the way. He tightened his arms around Reid, feeling a deep contentment settling inside him. They'd managed to work some things out, and he hadn't panicked at all. And he still wasn't panicking, waking up with Reid in his arms. He felt safe, peaceful. Happy.

"Good morning, pretty boy," he murmured, turning his head to kiss Reid's forehead.

Reid yawned again, and kissed Morgan's chest. "Morning," he mumbled, trying to wipe the smile off his face before Morgan saw it. "Why d'you always call me that?"

"Because you're pretty," Morgan said, stroking a hand over Reid's hair. He liked how happy Reid looked. He smiled sleepily.

"Always using feminine descriptors," Reid mumbled, not really sure why. It had bothered him at first, but it didn't now.

"Maybe it was my subconscious telling me for years that I was attracted to you," Morgan said, sliding his hand down to rest against Reid's chest. "And I was just too stupid to listen." There was no denying Reid was more delicate than a lot of men, though, and his features were fine...but he was entirely male, and there was a quiet strength to him that Morgan admired. "Gorgeous man," he added, grinning.

Reid sucked in a breath at the feel of Morgan's hand, having forgotten that Morgan had talked him out of his shirt the night before. He breathed a laugh though, when Morgan finished, and smiled up at Morgan. "That's better." Though he really didn't see the first thing "gorgeous" about himself.

"Mmm. Handsome, fascinating genius," Morgan elaborated, shifting so he could kiss Reid properly. "God, waking up with you in my arms is just perfect," he murmured.

Reid's smile widened and he kissed Morgan again, deepening it before pulling back with a contented sigh. "I'm glad," he whispered. He had a lot of things to be glad about this morning, he realized. "Enough with the flattery, or I'll have to find some way to shut you up."

"Oh, that's tempting," Morgan said, hoping for a kiss. "You brilliant sexy thing." Not the most creative of flattery, but he thought it would do the trick. He grinned.

Reid pursed his lips and pushed up a bit. There were two options, both of which would probably stop Morgan. Kiss Morgan, or walk away. Reid glanced at the door and then leaned down to kiss Morgan, splaying his fingers over Morgan's chest. "I'm not above negative reinforcement, if necessary, but I'd rather not get out of bed just yet."

Morgan hummed and wrapped his arms around Reid, pulling him down for another kiss. "No, stay here," he whispered, stroking his fingertips along Reid's spine. "I should go for my run before it gets too hot, but you don't have to get up with me." He kissed Reid again.

Reid made a pleased noise, kissing Morgan back before he collapsed back against the bed, rolling under Morgan a little bit. "Okay," he murmured. "I'll be right here when you get back."

Smiling, Morgan kissed him once more, then pulled away reluctantly. "Then I'll hurry back," he promised.

"Hmm," Reid hummed. "Run." He grinned and pulled the sheets back over himself.

Morgan dressed, started the coffeemaker, and snapped Clooney's leash onto his collar, then headed out into his neighborhood. He didn't always run in the neighborhood--he mixed up his routes, partly for variety and partly for safety reasons--but today he was too impatient to drive to any of the nearby parks. He did two miles, then headed back to the house, where he hoped Clooney would be too worn out to give Reid any trouble.

He took a quick shower, then poured two mugs of coffee and went back to the bedroom, not surprised to find Reid buried under the covers. He stopped and just looked at Reid's messy hair spread out across his pillow. Reid had shifted to the warm spot where Morgan had been. That uncontrollable smile spread out across Morgan's face again.

Reid was sleepily trying to ignore the sounds of life through the house, which was impossible. He'd fallen back to sleep thinking about how perfect and cozy this felt, and his mind switched back on to the same thoughts when he heard Morgan return. He heard Morgan's footfall in the room, and drew in a deep breath. "Was fast," he mumbled, not moving or opening his eyes at all.

Morgan sank down onto the bed. "Was impatient," he replied. "I brought you coffee."

"M'okay," Reid mumbled.

Grinning, Morgan set the coffee on the bedside table and leaned down to kiss the most accessible skin, which was the back of Reid's neck.

Reid sucked in a breath and finally shifted, rolling to his side but not bothering to brush his hair out of his face just yet. "Harder to wake up the second time. Upsets natural sleep rhythm," he murmured, though he was too sleepy to really go into the science on that. He forced his eyes open and blinked at Morgan, liking the smile on his face even if Reid's view of it was a bit blurry.

"Is that why?" Morgan leaned in and brushed the hair out of Reid's face to kiss him slowly. "I bet I can help wake you up," he murmured.

"Mmm," Reid hummed into the kiss, his hand lifting to trail Morgan's arm. "You brought coffee."

"Oh, that, too," Morgan said, amused. Reid was cute when he was half-asleep. He gave in to temptation and snuggled down against Reid, deciding there was no real reason to make him wake up all the way just yet.

Reid smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Morgan, humming in contentment at the warmth and comfort. It was easy to take comfort in this, easier than it probably should have been, or would have been, if Reid had been with anyone else right now. "My evil scheme worked."

Morgan chuckled and kissed Reid's neck, settling into his arms and draping one arm over Reid's waist. "I'm dating a genius, I have to expect evil schemes from time to time."

Reid settled closer to Morgan, starting to wake up more fully the more they talked, but still perfectly content to lay here like this indefinitely. "Lucky for you I rarely have calamitous intent."

Humming, Morgan trailed his lips up Reid's throat. "Lucky..." He thought about that for a few minutes, enjoying the feel of Reid's skin against his. "I am a lucky man."

Reid tilted his chin, letting Morgan have better access to the skin he was kissing. He loved this. I didn't seem as frightening in his current half-asleep state, but his stomach still gave a little kick. He drew a deep, satisfied breath. "What's the plan for today?"

"I don't really have one," Morgan admitted. "Though I have vague ideas involving kissing you a lot." He grinned and licked at Reid's Adam's apple. "And I know you need to write your mom a letter."

"Coffee in bed, kissing, sounds good," Reid murmured. "You could do that for a very long time before I lost interest," he said, sighing at the wet heat of Morgan's tongue against him. "God."

Morgan chuckled and lifted his head to kiss Reid's mouth again. "You're easy to please," he said, trailing his fingers across Reid's chest. Of course, he didn't think he was in any danger of losing interest in this, either.

"It's all still new," Reid whispered, his fingers stroking down Morgan's back and over his side.

"Do you have any idea how much I like thinking I'm the only one who's ever done this with you?" Morgan wondered if it bothered Reid, how many people he'd been with. He'd never considered that before.

"I can imagine," Reid murmured. He could understand it too. He deepened their kiss and reached for his glasses on the nightstand. He pulled away briefly to push them on and then kissed Morgan again.

Morgan slid his arms around Reid, returning the kiss tenderly. Reid knew what I was like when he decided he liked me, he thought. But that was over now. He might have been a playboy when he was unattached, but as long as Reid was interested in pursuing this, Morgan wasn't going to be looking anywhere else. "I don't want to mess this up, Reid," he whispered.

Reid pulled back to look at Morgan, really look at Morgan. In all honesty, Morgan didn't need to tell him that. That much was clear by Morgan's actions, by how much Morgan seemed to want to make this work, even through his own demons. "I know," Reid whispered, his fingertips stroking Morgan's chest.

"Good. I want you to have faith in me." He tightened his arms, thinking. They were a funny couple, but they'd always done well together at work, and he was pretty sure they could do well together like this. He was willing to work at it, and he knew Reid was. He wondered how things were going with Reid's problems, if Reid were still going to his NA meetings...but he almost felt afraid to ask. He trusted Reid; he just wanted Reid to talk to him. But he didn't know if he could get that across. "I have faith in you," he murmured after a while.

"I know," Reid repeated, kissing Morgan softly. His eyes and fingers moved to touch one of Morgan's tattoos, the lion on Morgan's shoulder, tracing the patterns of ink in Morgan's skin absently.

"You're changing things in my life. It's good." He shifted, liking Reid's fingers on him. "I'm happy with you, Spencer."

Reid smiled, feeling like he was being let in on some big secret. Morgan didn't talk like this, not to anyone else as far as Reid was aware. Instead of replying, Reid kissed Morgan again, tenderly. "Deathless courage," he murmured, his eyes falling back to the lion. "Valiant warrior, the most noble, king of the beasts." He met Morgan's eyes again, his own thoughtful. "What does it mean to you?"

It took Morgan a moment to switch gears with Reid. He shrugged. "Lions are strong and fierce. There's nothing a lion has to be afraid of. Nobody messes with a lion."

Reid nodded and kissed Morgan again. "Did it hurt?" Reid whispered.

"Hell, yeah," Morgan said, laughing. "Not as bad as the ones on my back, though. Every tattoo hurts, but the ones over bone hurt worse." He shrugged again. "It's a good kind of pain, though. Completely different from getting shot."

Reid smiled, wondering if Morgan would have admitted that to any given girl he was romancing. He somehow thought Morgan probably told women that it didn't hurt at all. "Sometimes taking internal pain and making it external, manipulating it yourself, has a way of lifting the pressure."

Morgan lifted an eyebrow. "You comparing my tats to a teenaged girl cutting herself?" he teased.

Reid met Morgan's gaze, his smile not fading. "I can't imagine letting someone stab me with needles repeatedly and describing it as 'good,' unless it were some form of release." His smile went lopsided. "Though maybe my pain threshold is significantly lower than yours." He still thought, from Morgan's description of what that lion meant to him, that the lion on Morgan's shoulder had more to do with his demons than Morgan wanted to admit, however.

Morgan shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. "Just wait, I'm gonna drag your skinny ass into a tattoo parlor and make them put 'Property of Derek Morgan' on you." His tone was joking, but he found as he spoke that he meant it. He didn't like the thought of Reid being with anyone else. Not ever.

Reid's smile grew stronger at that, even though he knew Morgan wasn't serious. "I thought you said you didn't want to hurt me," Reid teased.

"Mmm, but it's a good pain," Morgan teased back. He rolled over on top of Reid and kissed him. "Property of Derek Morgan," he whispered, tracing his fingers along Reid's collarbone.

"I like that," Reid whispered back, sucking in a breath as Morgan's fingers sent a shiver through him.

Morgan smiled and leaned in to kiss Reid again. "Yeah, so do I." God, this was so much better than he'd ever expected it to be. To have one person he knew he could count on, to be someone Reid counted on... It was scary, but it was great.

"Not the tattoo part," Reid murmured, and kissed Morgan again, wrapping his arms around Morgan's waist. This was shaping up to be one of the best mornings Reid had ever had.

Morgan chuckled. "I knew what you meant," he breathed. He stroked his fingers through Reid's hair, then pressed his lips against his forehead.

Reid smiled. "I know," he whispered, his eyes fluttering shut as Morgan kissed his forehead.

Morgan closed his eyes too, breathing slowly and relishing being close to Reid. "Breakfast?" he murmured after a while. He liked being snuggled down against Reid and didn't really feel like moving, but he was beginning to need something more than coffee.

Reid pressed his face to Morgan's neck, not wanting to move, but knowing they should, and sighed. "Are you cooking?"

"Mmhmm." Morgan inhaled deeply, smiling. "Eggs and bacon and toast."

"Good," Reid murmured. "Do you have plain white paper? Unlined?" He pulled back to look at Morgan. "Printer paper."

"Sure, that closed door down the hall has my computer and stuff. Just grab some out of the printer." Morgan kissed Reid one more time, then pulled away. "And shut the door after you, 'cause Clooney likes to go in and chew on the weights."

Reid nodded and pulled away, but not before kissing Morgan again, and looked for his shirt, pulling it on before heading out of the room and down the hall. The computer didn't look like it had been used in a while, the keyboard was too dusty, but the weights didn't seem to have been just sitting unused at all. He pulled a piece of paper out and sat down behind the desk, then glanced at the door and decided to go write in the kitchen to be closer to Morgan. It was silly, but it felt cozy.

He shut the door behind him and wandered out to the kitchen, where Morgan was pulling things out of the fridge for their breakfast. Reid settled at the table and started to write.

Morgan glanced up, smiling, when Reid wandered back out. "Find it okay?" he asked, though obviously Reid had. He started the eggs and bacon, liking the way Reid looked settled in at his kitchen table. He thought about how they could fit their lives together, Reid working at the table on the papers he published, Morgan preparing meals...Reid coming to keep him company when he had to do maintenance on his properties, unless Reid had a previously unknown talent for wielding a hammer... He thought about the possibility of having his mom and sisters down for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and wondered if Reid would be here, or if he would want to be in Las Vegas.

Maybe you're thinking too far ahead, he told himself. Don't get ahead of Reid on this.

Reid nodded but didn't say anything, darting glances up at Morgan from time to time as he wrote, liking that Morgan seemed so comfortable without his shirt on, even if Reid probably never would be, because it afforded him a nice view. He usually wrote one day behind, because he never knew quite when he'd have time to fit in writing to his mom on any given day, so he told her about the trial, mostly being vague about the details because he didn't want her to read into things where there was nothing to read into.

Where he usually held back with friends, he didn't in his letters, so he told her about how he'd stopped Mr. Corbett from "hurting" someone. It was silly, but he still wanted her to know he was doing good things, even if he did work for the government she feared. His lips quirked to the side, and he paused in his writing about half way down the page, pen hovering just over the paper. "I, ah, I wrote her a letter on letterhead once. It wasn't even work letterhead, it was... some hotel." He shook his head. "Set her off."

Morgan had sort of wondered, but it hadn't seemed important enough to ask about. He just nodded, not sure what to say to that. He got out the bread and stuck a couple of slices in the toaster. "Does she write back to you?" he asked after a minute.

Reid glanced up at Morgan, his lips pulling into a thin line even though it sometimes felt good to be able to talk about this. There were very few people he trusted enough to talk about this with. "No," he answered, "but I've never expected her to."

Morgan nodded again and turned the burners off. "What did you tell her about us?" he asked, trying for a casual tone as he reached for plates.

Reid smiled a lopsided smile at Morgan, finally putting his pen down. "I told her that obnoxious jock I used to wish would walk in front of a bus actually turned out to be someone I..." He paused, weighing his words. "...Was interested in."

Morgan's eyebrows went up. "Interested in?" he repeated, carrying the plates over to the table. That was...sort of a disappointing way for Reid to put that, actually. He kissed Reid briefly, then went to get the butter and jelly for the toast. "Glad I'm not boring you," he joked.

Reid cleared his throat. He'd meant to say that Morgan had turned out to be special, but he couldn't bring himself to say that just yet, as he was still feeling foolish for how quickly he'd fallen for Morgan. "I told her I kissed you," he said, blushing and hiding it in his coffee cup. He might as well be honest with Morgan if he was going to be with his mother.

Morgan refilled both their coffee mugs and sat down across from Reid. After a moment he lifted a hand to trace his fingers along one of Reid's flushed cheeks. "You're cute when you blush. I haven't figured out what I'm gonna tell my mom yet." He took a sip of his coffee.

Reid shrugged, then added sugar to his coffee, sliding the paper away for now so it wouldn't get anything spilled on it. "Thank you," he said, gesturing to the food, and then slid his foot under the table against Morgan's and ignored how his heart jumped. "You don't have to tell her anything," he said. This was still new, and with Morgan's history, it couldn't be easy. "Not right now, if you don't want. Just because I told my mom doesn't mean you should feel pressured."

Morgan scratched the back of his head and squinted at the refrigerator for a moment, then made himself look at Reid. "Every time I'm in Chicago, she tells me she's still waiting on grandbabies," he admitted. "I always tell her last I checked, I was the youngest of three kids, and they could start reproducing any time, 'cause I'm in no hurry." He sighed. "I haven't figured out how she'll react to me saying I'm with a man."

Reid couldn't help but feel disappointed, even if he had just said it was okay if Morgan didn't tell his mom. And it was okay, Reid just hoped someday, in the future, it would be easier for Morgan to deal with. Reid wasn't going to be Morgan's secret forever, but for now, it was fine. "It's fine," he said, starting into his eggs. "To be honest, I don't know how my mom will react, either." Even in everyday situations, Diana Reid could be unpredictable.

Morgan nodded and took a bite of bacon. "Just, you know..." He shrugged. "Maybe I'll start with Des and see how she takes it first." He was starting to feel guilty, like Reid would think he was ashamed to be with him, even though Reid had just said it was okay. He hated talking about stuff like this; it was why he always did his best to avoid having that conversation with his mother, too. He cleared his throat and loaded his fork with eggs. "I think she blames herself for Carl," he confessed. "She thinks Carl fucked me up and she didn't even notice." He took a bite, not meeting Reid's gaze.

Reid glanced up and tilted his head at Morgan, eying him thoughtfully. "You're mom's a smart woman. I'm sure she knows that's not true." Of course Reid also knew how someone could understand the reality of something intellectually, but not emotionally. He took another bite of his food silently.

Morgan shrugged again and didn't answer. It occurred to him that getting shot hurt less than talking sometimes. "It's not because it's you, you know," he said finally. He hooked his bare foot around Reid's ankle and didn't lift his gaze from his plate. "I just..." He took a sip of his coffee to keep from shrugging again.

Reid nodded and reached out a hand to place it on Morgan's forearm. "I know. It's fine."

When Reid touched him, Morgan looked up. Relieved, he moved his arm so he could curl his fingers around Reid's.


*****


The movie credits began to roll and Morgan shifted on the sofa, turning his head to kiss Reid's hair. Reid had been quiet towards the end of the movie, and Morgan was wondering if he'd fallen asleep, or if he was just relaxed. Morgan felt relaxed and incredibly content, Reid snuggled in his arms, watching a movie that didn't suck, even in an 'awesomely bad' way. It had been a good day straight through, even when Reid beat him at Scrabble, and he was looking forward to sleeping in Reid's arms again. In an hour or so, whenever they felt like they'd kissed enough. Or more. He'd been a lot less concerned about his own hangups since their successful session last night, and he was hoping for more tonight. He suspected Reid was, too.

The DVD stopped and went off, and the TV flipped to the local station, where the eleven o'clock news had just started. "...This is the fifth shooting in two weeks, and authorities still have no leads. All murders have occurred in the middle of the day, with no witnesses. The mood on the street is tense. New York officials declined to comment on the situation."

Morgan frowned, squeezing Reid's shoulder and shaking him gently. "Wake up, man, look at this."

Reid frowned. He couldn't remember falling asleep, but he doubted there could be a good reason for Morgan to shake him awake on a weekend. He made a little grumble of discontent and then blinked blearily at the screen. For a moment it didn't make sense, and then it hit him as he read the words on the screen. "Different victimology 'gain?" he mumbled.

"Yeah, some dude in a subway station," Morgan said. He shook his head. "This is not good."

Reid scrubbed his hand over his face, and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to rid the blur from falling asleep in his contacts. "No it's not," he murmured.

"Why are they not calling us in?" Morgan shook his head, running over the few details he knew about the case. "This is gonna cause mass panic and vigilantism if they let it keep going. We saw what happened in Westchester County last year." He clenched his jaw, glaring at the TV screen. He still hadn't forgiven himself for not being fast enough the night Detective Ware was shot by a vigilante citizen who looked at a black man and saw a potential killer.

Reid glanced up at Morgan from where he was slouched against Morgan's side and tried to remember that case. The whole town had thought that the women Terrance Wakeland had been killing were being killed because of their race, when the whole time Wakeland had just wanted their voices on tape. If Reid was honest with himself, the smaller details of that case were mostly a blur. Reid nodded anyway. "Yeah," he said absently, and then shook himself. "They thought they knew what they were fighting in that case though. Here... it just doesn't make sense."

"Yeah," Morgan said briefly. He thought back on that case, how messed up Reid had been (with good reason) and how angry he himself had been. Sometimes he wondered what the point was, why he kept doing this, when there were always more psychos out there waiting to become the next unknown subject. He rubbed a hand over his face. But here they were, watching the news at eleven and debating the possible profile of a shooter two hundred and fifty miles away. It was instinct.

"They're striking at mid-day. Always mid-day, about... every two days," Reid mumbled, thinking out loud. After a moment, he realized Morgan's reply had been rather short and he wasn't saying anything else. Reid looked back at him again. "What are you thinking?"

Morgan sighed. "It just...I don't know, sometimes I wonder how much good we're really doing. There's always another case and another case...this job, it just really gets to you." He leaned his head back, then glanced down at Reid and kissed him briefly. "I think I need a vacation."

Reid did his best to ignore the way his stomach flipped. He'd said as much about the BAU himself, but the underlying panic that Morgan might leave - not just the BAU, but Reid - was still there. Reid swallowed, nodded, and settled back against Morgan, willing his apprehension not to show on his face. "Maybe you can take some personal time."

Morgan thought about the way Kevin wanted to whisk Garcia off to Italy. He wondered what Reid would make of Jamaica. "Maybe we both should," he murmured, though he knew it was more wishful thinking than anything. He and Elle had been able to take off together and no one had thought anything of it. Theoretically no one would think anything of him and Reid taking off together, but he had a feeling they wouldn't be so lucky. He swallowed another sigh and kissed Reid again.

"Mmm," Reid hummed into the kiss, though his nerves hadn't quiet settled, even at that suggestion. "I somehow doubt we would get away with that."

Morgan grinned faintly and traced a finger down Reid's cheek. "Elle and I took off together and no one thought anything of it."

Reid frowned just slightly and then pulled away to give Morgan a quizzical look. "There wasn't anything to think of it," he said, though his tone was clear enough that he was looking for confirmation of that.

"Of course not. My point is, I've set a precedent of hanging out with coworkers, and people know you and I are friends. It wouldn't look too weird." Morgan kissed him again. He didn't think he could ever get enough of kissing Reid.

"I think it would," Reid replied, though his frown was fading with each kiss Morgan planted on his lips. "I'm not like Elle. I'm not exactly the life of the party. I'm someone you only take to a beach if you want to know the average diameter and general make up of a granule of sand."

Morgan hummed and stroked a palm down Reid's arm, willing to be distracted. "What is the average diameter and general make up of a granule of sand?" he asked teasingly. He leaned in and kissed his way along Reid's jaw to see if Reid was willing to be distracted, too.

"They're typically between one sixteenth of a millimeter to two millimeters, and are primarily composed of silica, usually in the form of quartz, in most inland continental settings," Reid said, though his voice got a bit breathy at the end and he tilted his chin to let Morgan continue what he was doing.

"Hmm." Morgan nibbled lightly. "What about black sand? Is that volcanic?" He traced his fingers back up the inside of Reid's forearm. "Mmm, you taste good," he breathed, nuzzling Reid's ear.

"Thank you," Reid murmured, curling his fingers into Morgan's shirt and pulling Morgan closer, wanting more. "You don't really care about black sand, do you?"

"Hm-mm," Morgan replied, licking Reid's jaw. "Spencer..." He shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Reid's waist and holding him close. "Sexy..."

Reid smiled at that and swallowed the mini-lecture on sand happily, gasping softly at the feel of Morgan's tongue. "Yes," he breathed.

Morgan smiled against Reid's skin, liking that he'd accepted that, even if he thought Reid was probably just trying to encourage his attention. "Let's go to bed," he murmured, nibbling at the shell of Reid's ear.

"Yes," Reid whispered again, and started untangling himself from Morgan to stand. He didn't wait to walk to the bedroom to start tugging Morgan's shirt off though. He pulled at the collar until Morgan lifted his arms, then tossed it aside, kissing Morgan as he wrapped his arms around Morgan again and started backing towards the bedroom.

Oh, aggressive Reid. This was nice. Morgan hummed into the kiss, his own hands sliding up under Reid's shirt tail to stroke the skin underneath. He wondered if he would have to coax Reid's clothes off tonight, or if it would be easier.

Reid sucked in a breath at Morgan's fingers on his back, continuing to move to the bedroom. He hoped, with a little luck, he could manage to convince Morgan to sleep naked tonight. Actually, he hoped it didn't need convincing. For some reason it was harder to talk about it than it was to do it. "Morgan," he murmured, nibbling Morgan's lower lip.

"Mmm." Morgan slid his hands up further, tugging Reid's shirt up. "Off," he whispered against Reid's lips. He wanted to really see Reid.

Reid felt a tiny spasm of nerves erupt in his stomach, but after last night, he knew he should get over being bashful. Still, he still couldn't stop himself from mentally comparing himself to Morgan as he reached up and tugged his shirt off; how scrawny and pale he must look by contrast. He dropped his shirt in the doorway of Morgan's room and slid his arms around Morgan again, liking the feel of their bare chests together.

"You're beautiful," Morgan whispered, his lips against Reid's ear. He splayed his hands across Reid's back, tracing his spine and shoulderblades. This felt so good, he couldn't imagine why it had taken him so long to realize what he wanted. He nibbled Reid's ear and gently pushed him backwards towards the bed.

Reid expelled a breath, an almost laugh, tilting his head to give Morgan better access. Morgan's lips were giving him little shivers of desire, his body starting to pay full attention to what was happening. "You don't have to say that," he whispered as he climbed backwards onto the bed.

"I like saying it," Morgan said, looking down at him. He kissed Reid hungrily, then pulled back again, smiling. "I love looking at you." He knelt on the bed, tracing his fingers down Reid's pale chest, liking the way their skin looked together. He wondered if Reid would let him attempt to reciprocate for last night's blow job. And he wondered if he would be able to. His fingers trailed down to the waistband of Reid's pants and curled inside.

"It's doubtful I'll ever take it right," Reid insisted, but was immediately distracted by Morgan's hand. He pressed into the touch and then drew a sharp breath when Morgan's hand hooked in his pants. His chest went tight between desire for what he hoped Morgan might be thinking, fear of being completely exposed, and hope that he wasn't jumping to incorrect conclusions. He bit his lip and glanced up at Morgan, a few strands of hair falling in his face.

"You're a quick learner," Morgan murmured, leaning down to kiss Reid's neck. "And I don't mind repeating it until you get it. Beautiful man." He nipped lightly, then licked along Reid's collarbone. He wanted this so much. It had to work. "Spencer..." He kissed down Reid's chest until his lips found a nipple. He sucked and teased at it, one hand sliding up to circle the other.

Reid was about to say that a lifetime of emotional baggage was a lot harder to unlearn than facts and statistics were to learn, but Morgan's lips shut him up. He dropped his head back and then rested back fully on the bed, gasping as Morgan's tongue and fingers worked at the sensitive nubs. Oh, he would have to remember this to do to Morgan later. "Mmm'Morgan," he moaned, his fingers trailing patterns on Morgan's back.

"Beautiful," Morgan said, smiling faintly against Reid's skin. He teethed gently at Reid's nipple, his fingers pinching the other lightly, then he sat back, his fingers stroking light as feathers down Reid's stomach. One hand gripped the button of his pants, and Morgan looked up at Reid's face. "Can I?" he asked softly.

Reid made a tiny cry of pleasure at the sharpness of sensation that Morgan's teeth sent through him, panting softly, then he gazed down, watching Morgan's hand until he paused. For a moment, he couldn't seem to say anything. No one had seen him naked like this before. After a pause he managed to nod, then whispered, "Only if you take yours off too."

Morgan watched Reid for a second, curious, but he nodded. Was he nervous about this? He really didn't believe he was gorgeous. Moments like this, when he could see Spencer doubting himself, Derek wanted to hit something. He shifted back off the bed and unzipped his jeans, keeping his gaze on Reid's as he pushed off his jeans and his boxers both. Then he crawled back on the bed and unzipped Reid's pants, still holding his gaze.

Reid couldn't help but let his gaze travel Morgan's body for a moment before meeting Morgan's eyes again. His mouth went dry, but he forced himself not to look away when Morgan started to pull his pants open, wishing Morgan was close enough to kiss to distract himself. "God, you're gorgeous," he breathed.

Morgan's eyebrows went up, but he knew why Reid could say Morgan was gorgeous on one hand and not believe himself to be gorgeous on the other. After all, when he'd been persecuted by the so-called 'beautiful people' for years, what was he supposed to think? Morgan had always meant it when he called Reid 'pretty boy', but knowing what he did now, he could see that Reid had probably never taken it as a compliment.

"I want you naked," he said, tugging at Reid's belt loops. "I want to see you."

Reid nodded and pulled his belt loose for Morgan, then hooked his hand around Morgan's neck, pulling him closer. "Kiss me," he whispered, waiting until Morgan complied before he lifted his hips to allow Morgan to pull his pants down.

Morgan was going to have to do something to make Reid understand how desirable he was. He didn't know what he could do that he hadn't already been doing, but something. He kissed Reid hungrily, tugging his pants down to his knees, then reaching back up for his briefs. "Spencer," he murmured between kisses, "I want to see you."

Reid swallowed and reached down, hooking his thumbs in his underwear and pushing them down to his knees too, before he lost his nerve. He kicked his pants and briefs down and off, and kissed Morgan again, his arms wrapping around Morgan and holding him tight. He hadn't quite expected to be this nervous, not after what he'd done the night before, but there it was. He deepened the kiss with a little sigh, and willed himself to let it go. Morgan would never hurt him. Not like this. "Okay," he breathed, but just kissed Morgan again.

God, Reid was tense. Morgan stroked a hand down Reid's side, returning the kisses passionately. He twined his tongue around Reid's, nipped and sucked at Reid's mouth until they were both breathless, hoping Reid's grip around him would grow less desperate. He didn't think it was about Morgan, really, so much as it was about the past--and he could understand that, considering the way he'd been fighting his own demons lately. "Beautiful," he murmured against Reid's mouth.

Reid shook his head at that, just one slight movement, but he was starting to feel less concerned about his nakedness and more interested in the way Morgan was kissing him again. "Morgan," he whispered, letting his arms loosen enough so he could stroke Morgan's back.

Morgan pulled back so he could kiss Reid's neck and chest, his hands sliding down to spread across his stomach, though he didn't try to look yet. We've all got broken places, he thought sadly. But maybe Reid and I can mend each other's. "I can't get enough of touching you," he murmured, letting his tongue flicker across a nipple. "You're so addictive."

Reid's breath went unsteady when Morgan's mouth found his nipple again, and he let his eyes flutter shut. "So are you," he whispered, pressing up against Morgan's hand without realizing.

Morgan hummed and curled his fingers around Reid's cock, massaging lightly. He licked and sucked at Reid's nipple, then shifted to the other for a moment, before kissing his way further down. He licked teasingly at Reid's belly button, wondering if Reid would laugh or gasp at the way it felt. I could spend the rest of my life doing this, he thought, and then had to push away the tiny burst of resulting anxiety. That was a good thing, nothing to be scared of. He wasn't trapped, he was choosing this.

Reid gasped and made a strangled noise, choking on the sudden laugh that bubbled up. He squirmed and shoved at Morgan's shoulder lightly so he could move out of the tickle Morgan's tongue had sent through his body. "God!" he gasped, biting his lip and fighting both his suddenly ragged breath and a smile. He felt embarrassed, but he forced the feeling away.

Morgan laughed softly, stroking his hands along Reid's hips. Man, he loved touching Reid like this. Smiling, he brushed his lips along one hipbone, teasing while he tried to work up the nerve to pay attention to Reid's cock.

Reid reached down to touch Morgan's shoulder, recovering from the tickle and stroking the top of Morgan's back. Was Morgan really going to do what Reid hoped he would do? Reid felt another jolt of arousal go straight to his cock. "Morgan," he breathed, his need suddenly warring with his brain, which was trying to tell him he should make sure Morgan was okay.

Morgan glanced up at Reid's face. "I can do this?" he said, and wasn't actually sure whether he was asking permission or seeking reassurance. One hand slid down to curl under Reid's ass, massaging. Reid was so beautiful. It struck him again with a little kick to his chest. Yeah, he could do this.

Please, Reid thought, but he swallowed it and groaned as Morgan's hand massaged him, his hips rocking forward automatically. "If you want to," he managed.

"Yeah, I want to," Morgan said, gazing hungrily up at him for a moment, heart shifting into a faster beat. He pulled back to really look at Reid's cock. He leaned all his weight on one elbow so he could trace one finger lightly along the length. Reid was more slender than he was, but longer, and gorgeously hard. It was wonderful to know Morgan had this effect on him, even if it shouldn't be at all surprising by now. "God," he breathed, and leaned down to kiss the tip.

"Oh," Reid moaned, knowing that that light touch shouldn't elicit such lust in him, but it was sometimes hard to believe any of this was happening at all, and his body was responding enthusiastically to being touched like he hadn't before. He lifted his head to watch, and was struck again that it was even more amazing that Morgan was doing this.

"Spencer," Morgan murmured, and licked tentatively. God, he didn't know whether to pretend he didn't know how to do this so he wouldn't freak out, or try to remember how so he wouldn't do a shit job. He froze, his breath suddenly shuddering in and out of his lungs. Twenty years, man, twenty years, he reminded himself. You can say no. This is safe. He pulled back, squeezing his eyes shut.

Reid drew a sharp breath at the feel of Morgan's tongue. God, it was so good, even that tiny taste of what the real thing might feel like. But Reid hadn't taken his eyes off Morgan, and the change in his demeanor hadn't gone unnoticed. Reid watched him for a moment, wondering if he ought to move away, cover himself, take what was triggering whatever memory Morgan was thinking of out of Morgan's sight, but he wasn't yet sure what was appropriate, and his body was still thrumming with want. "Morgan," he whispered, trying to still himself.

Morgan drew in a long breath, then forced his eyes open. After a moment he looked up towards Reid's face, though he couldn't quite meet his gaze. "It's just--" He broke off and licked his lips, then shook his head and forced himself to meet Reid's eyes. He opened his mouth, trying to find words to explain, but to his horror he could feel his eyes prickling and he sucked in another breath, holding it. God, he hadn't cried about this except for that horrible confrontation with Carl--and that had been nearly as much rage as it had shame. Reid cares about you, idiot, he thought, but he couldn't force any words out.

Reid watched him for a moment, waiting for him to say something, anything. This was really not how he'd ever dreamed the first time he let someone undress him like this would go, and when Morgan's eyes went glassy, so did Reid's. After a moment, he sighed, dropped his head back and pulled the sheet over his lap, feeling hopeless about this entire thing. He closed his eyes, willing himself to be stronger than he was for Morgan, mostly because he knew Morgan's fears were completely valid. After a moment he drew another breath and forced himself to say what he was thinking. "I don't want to be a constant reminder of the worst thing that ever happened to you, Morgan."

Morgan pulled back, stung, when Reid covered himself with the sheet, but that hurt was nothing compared to the sick feeling he got when Reid spoke. Was this going to happen every time Morgan fucked up--Reid trying to pull away, offering him a way out? Was he really just trying to make Morgan the bad guy here? Did he want Morgan to run away? To his shame, the tears spilled down his cheeks and he shoved away from Reid, clenching his jaw to mask his humiliation with anger. "Look, I never said this was going to be easy!" he said, feeling himself start to tremble with the combination of wanting Reid and utter, sick fear. "I care about you, stupid! I want to be with you! But I can't just--I can't just fucking forget it!" He clenched his fist and hit the bed, turning his face away from Reid because God, he was sick of being scared and angry about this!

Reid grimaced, squeezing his eyes tighter when Morgan raised his voice, but after a moment he pushed up, drawing the sheet around him to cover himself more. The tears he was fighting spilled over his cheeks and he didn't bother to wipe them, he just tried to speak as calmly as he could. "Don't you understand that it hurts me to see you hurt? And to know that I'm the one triggering it..." He shook his head, then wiped one of his cheeks with the back of his hand. God, he wanted a drink... or something. It struck him he hadn't been thinking about that much since he and Morgan had been together.

Morgan buried his face in his hands and scrubbed them over his cheeks, pressing his eyes until he saw sparkles. "It isn't you, Spencer," he said, his voice lower again and more controlled. He still couldn't seem to catch his breath, and he absolutely hated himself right now, but he wasn't shouting. "I want this. I want you. Hell, I'm not even scared of the commitment any more." He took a ragged breath and scrubbed his hands over his face, then over his head. "You're good for me. And you're beautiful. And I fucking hate this." He opened his eyes, staring down at his knees. It occurred to him that he usually didn't swear around Spencer. He supposed it was because he'd only ever heard Spencer swear once in his life that he could remember.

After a moment he lifted his head, though he couldn't quite turn to face Reid yet. "It's just that--certain situations...all right, when we're getting physical--it just...I remember things I haven't thought of in twenty years. I've pushed them away, I've tried to make myself forget. And we both know that isn't healthy. I just--I have to face them in order to get past them." He shivered, wondering if he could admit what he'd been thinking when he froze up. "I wanted to pretend I didn't know how to suck a cock, and...it just...I just..." He shrugged, but surprisingly, the talking was actually making his chest feel looser.

Reid had opened his mouth, first to say that he might be good for Morgan emotionally, but obviously not sexually, then to say that he didn't want to be the one that Morgan had to "face" that made him think of all these things. When Morgan finished, however, Reid just sat there with his mouth open for a moment, and then his brows clouded over and he pressed his lips together tightly, suddenly angry. The BAU had handled plenty of cases with abused children since Reid joined the team, but this was Morgan, and now that thought was going to be forever burned in Reid's memory. "I'm sorry," was all he could manage, frowning deeply at a fold in the sheets.

Morgan finally turned to look at Reid. He felt a burn of pure emotion at the anger on Reid's face, something that sizzled from his throat all the way down to the pit of his stomach, and he wanted to cry again. How had he gone from being afraid of commitment to needing Reid so fiercely he felt like it might kill him if Reid gave up on this? Heart in his throat, he lifted a hand to brush Reid's hair out of his face, praying Reid wouldn't pull away.

Reid sucked in a breath, surprised at Morgan's hand as it brushed through the dampness on his cheek. He turned his head into the touch, but couldn't find the words to speak.

"You're so beautiful," Morgan whispered, shifting so he could face Reid more comfortably. "Spencer, I want to make you happy. I...please don't give up on me." God, he felt more comfortable being naked physically than he did emotionally, but he couldn't stand the thought that his inability to keep his shit together might drive Reid away.

Reid shook his head at the compliment, then drew a deep breath. "I can't keep hurting you," he whispered. "I know it's not me, but... I want to make you happy too." I love you. He reached up and took Morgan's hand in his. "I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to do anything."

Morgan took a deep breath and scooted closer to Reid. He was suddenly craving physical closeness to Reid, though he knew he shouldn't push. He'd already raised Reid's hopes enough tonight. The hell of it was, he still wanted to go through with what he'd started. But he didn't think Reid would let him try, now, and he was afraid of freezing up again. But he wanted Reid--he could still taste Reid. "Hold me," he breathed, finally. It felt weak, to even ask for that, even though he knew Reid wouldn't think it was. Morgan wouldn't think Reid weak, if the situation were reversed. It just wasn't the sort of thing Derek Morgan ought to want.

He tried to think about what would happen if Reid decided he couldn't put up with this. He'd already promised Reid he wasn't going anywhere. He wouldn't leave Reid like everyone else had always left him. But how would he be able to be near Reid without actually having him? "I opened myself up for you, Spencer," he whispered finally. He took a deep breath, fighting the renewed stinging in his eyes. "Losing you would hurt worse than this ever has."

Reid wrapped his arms around Morgan without hesitation, pressing his face to Morgan's neck and drawing a deep breath. He didn't say that he was starting to lose hope. Mostly because he didn't want to and the very notion stung. He'd didn't want to be without Morgan either, but knew he meant it when he said he couldn't bear to be a source of hurt for Morgan. On top of that, given his own level of esteem, having his first experiences with these sorts of things turn out to be traumatic was painful, too. "You're not the only one opening up and letting go of things you've held on to for a life time," he whispered, hoping Morgan would understand.

Those words sent a jolt of cold through Morgan. Reid couldn't think this was about rejecting him, could he? He thought about that for half a moment and decided that maybe Reid realized, mentally, that it wasn't, but viscerally, emotionally, he might still feel it like one. This has got to be the most fucked-up way to start a relationship, Morgan thought fatalistically. He turned so he could wrap his arms around Reid. Suddenly he felt better about his own trauma, like he could push it back more easily because Reid needed him to be strong. He could be strong for Reid.

"Pretty boy," he murmured, shifting to slide one leg over Reid's and pull him closer. "Pretty boy, I am so sorry." He kissed Reid's hair, stroking a hand along his back. "God, I'm not making this easy for you, am I?" He sighed and nuzzled Reid's temple, his ear. "I wish I could be perfect for you," he breathed. "You deserve someone who can worship you without getting all stupid in the middle of it. I want you so bad, Spencer."

Reid felt selfish to be worried about himself. He just listened to Morgan, feeling guilty that Morgan was worrying about him now, but also sort of wanting to cry again because Morgan understood. He couldn't help but huff a laugh when Morgan finished, but he just held Morgan tighter.

Morgan sighed. "Maybe this would have been easier for me if I didn't care about you, you know?" He brushed his lips along Reid's jaw, trying to skate the line between tender and sexy. "You're handsome, you've got a gorgeous body, and I love your hair." He kept nuzzling and kissing Reid's cheek, not loosening his hold. "But I happen to find the rest of you fascinating, too. God help me, I like hearing about asparagus making chamber pots smell like heaven and I even sort of like the fact that you care about the sixty million or whatever Imperial troops who died on the Death Star." He didn't really know what he was saying any more, just kept sort of babbling to try to calm Reid down. "And the fact that you jump when Clooney barks at you is ridiculously cute, and I really don't want to get rid of my dog, but I would for you, Spencer. And I think my sister has a crush on you, so she might kill me when she finds out we're sleeping together. And I really sort of can't wait to tell my family about us."

Oops. He really hadn't meant to say those last couple of things.

Reid was starting to relax as Morgan spoke, and he couldn't help the small smile that was starting to form on his lips as Morgan just continued talking. He had the distinct impression Morgan was just talking without thinking. He felt a small flash of embarrassment when Morgan mentioned his dog, but that was almost completely eclipsed by the next two things Morgan said. Laughter bubbled up in Reid before he could stop it, and he pulled back to look at Morgan. "Your--" He shook his head. "Your sister does not have a crush on me."

Morgan coughed and eyed Reid. "She might. She asks about you all the time." After a moment he shrugged. "Or maybe she figured out before I did that I have a crush on you." He tried puppy dog eyes on Reid. They didn't always work--they worked less on Reid than anyone else, actually--but it was worth a shot.

Reid wasn't exactly sure why he was getting those eyes just now, but he pursed his lips automatically. "That's entirely possible. She didn't strike me as the type that went for tweed." He smiled and kissed Morgan softly.

The warmth of relief went through Morgan at the sight of that smile and he tightened his arms around Reid, kissing him back. "You probably didn't think I'm the sort who goes for tweed either, did you?" he whispered, trailing his fingers down Reid's back. "But finding out what's hidden underneath that tweed, untying those ties and unbuttoning your shirts..." He kissed Reid again, more demandingly. Maybe he could still salvage this night. "Damn sexy."

Reid felt his back tighten when Morgan started to talk like that again, his chest squeezing uncomfortably. He didn't really want to revisit something that could go badly wrong again tonight, and he wasn't sure he could get in the mood again, if he was honest. He pulled back to offer Morgan a nervous, apologetic smile, and then kissed him again, his kiss far less aggressive than Morgan's had been.

"No?" Morgan whispered, stroking his fingers over Reid's skin. It was disappointing, though he could understand if Reid wouldn't let him. He wasn't exactly reliable when it came to this. But he knew he could do this. He'd already admitted everything to Reid. It wasn't like he had anything else to be afraid of. He pulled back, framing Reid's face with his hands so he could place tiny kisses across Reid's jaw to his ear. "Give me another chance, pretty boy," he breathed. "I want to suck you."

Reid sucked in a breath. In spite of everything that happened, those words did do something to him. He fought it, though, thinking it really was probably better to put some time in between what had just happened and trying it again. "Why?" he whispered.

"Because I'm not afraid any more," Morgan whispered back. "Because I know you're you, and because I want you. Because you're gorgeous." He brushed his thumbs along Reid's cheekbone. "Because." His body's interest was beginning to build again, and while he didn't want to push Reid too far, he couldn't help feeling like the night would be a failure if they left it like this. He didn't want Reid to be disappointed in him. He didn't want Reid to be disappointed at all.

Reid trailed his fingertips over Morgan's spine. Morgan had known who Reid was and wanted Reid before, and still panicked. Reid kissed Morgan again, still not convinced even if his body was starting to like this feeling again. "Why aren't you afraid? Nothing's changed."

"Because I've already panicked," Morgan murmured. He kissed Reid again. "I've panicked, I've confronted that memory, and it's done." Possibly it wasn't done, but he was certain he could get through the act without hesitation now, even if he wasn't entirely comfortable. "I've admitted it to you, and..." He took a short breath. "And you're still here. You didn't leave me." He stroked his hand down Reid's jaw to his neck, then let it settle down to rest on his collarbone. He shifted to nip lightly at Reid's earlobe. "And I really want to make you come tonight, Spencer. I want."

Reid gasped, his fingers curling in Morgan's back. "Oh God," he breathed. Now Reid couldn't get what happened to Morgan out of his mind, but Morgan kept saying things that made his body respond no matter what his brain said. "It should be illegal to say things like that to dubious virgins."

Morgan smiled slowly. "Because it's so tempting?" he whispered, his breath huffing against Reid's ear. Spencer was adorable, and vulnerable, and Morgan wanted to make this night special and erase the memories of what had happened so far.

"Yeah," Reid breathed, and for a moment, as Morgan's breath sent a renewed shiver down his spine, he was really ready to just give in, because God he wanted Morgan to suck him. He wanted to know what it felt like to have Morgan's lips around him. "Morgan," he whispered. "I-- I want it. I want you." He dropped his head against Morgan's neck and drew a deep breath. "I just don't want my first time experiencing this to be forever tied to the mental image I get when I think about what you just told me." Saying it out loud made Reid's stomach roll and the arousal ebb away a bit.

Morgan sighed, but didn't pull away. "Even if you watch me?" he whispered. He didn't think it would work, and he tightened his arms around Reid, willing to back down if Reid still said no. It wouldn't be as good if Morgan had to talk him into it, anyway.

Reid nodded, because he knew he'd still associate this night with the bad parts of it as much as the good in the future, and even watching Morgan had its dangers if he could sense or see any discomfort on Morgan's face. Reid had to remind himself that this wouldn't be the last opportunity for this he'd ever have. He'd waited this long, and he didn't think it was too much to hope for after this long to want his first time not to happen this close to tears and trauma, even if his body was still racing and wanting. He kissed Morgan's neck and tried to relax.

"All right," Morgan murmured. He stroked his hand along Reid's back, still holding him. "We'll get this right, pretty boy. I'm gonna get my shit together, and we'll be fine. I promise." We have to.

"Okay," Reid whispered. He pulled back just enough to kiss Morgan, dipping his tongue into Morgan's mouth, his hand cupping Morgan's cheek. "I--" love you. He caught the words before they came out, but his heart jumped into his throat anyway.

"We'll be fine," Morgan promised again when Reid didn't go on. "I'm not going anywhere." He wondered how he could convince Reid that he had truly thrown himself into this, heart, mind, and body (even if there were a few horrible moments). "Do you want to do anything tonight, or should we just sleep like this?" he asked after a while. "It's fine either way. I just--I just want to be with you, Spencer."

Reid drew a deep breath, and tilted his chin to kiss Morgan's nose. "Let's just sleep."

Morgan smiled faintly and lifted a hand to stroke it through Reid's hair. "All right. I'll make up for this next time." He kept smiling to tell Reid he knew he didn't have to, but that he wanted to.

Reid smiled at Morgan for a moment, and then shifted. The sheets were all tangled from where he'd pulled them all up around him, and he untangled them before lying down, automatically keeping them at a modest height on his body. He lifted his arm for Morgan to join him.

Morgan sat for a minute longer, looking down at Reid. He stroked a hand down Reid's throat to rest in the middle of his chest. "You are so important to me, Spencer Reid. And I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever been with." His throat tightened. "I'm a lucky man."

Don't be so sure, Reid thought. It seemed lately that Morgan's demons had been more prevalent than Reid's, but Reid knew his own mind, his flaws and weaknesses. He knew it was only a matter of time before he screwed up too. Instead of saying all of that, he motioned with his hand for Morgan to come closer. "Lie down," he whispered.

Morgan obeyed, snuggling himself against Reid and making a point to press as much of their bare skin together as he could. He loved Reid's body, all lanky and boney and a self-conscious sort of grace. Somehow he would make Reid see himself the way Morgan saw him. "Spencer," he breathed softly, wishing he could force out the words that were hiding behind his breastbone. "Spencer..."

Reid smiled, liking the way bare skin felt against bare skin, so much of it, running the length of his body. He wondered if that ever got old. He ran his hands over Morgan's body, caressing his back and chest. "Yeah," he answered.

After a moment, Morgan sighed. "I wish I were better with words. I don't know how to say how important you are to me." He closed his eyes, glad that Reid was relaxing against him.

"It's okay," Reid whispered, nuzzling Morgan's cheek and closing his eyes. "It's late."

"Are you telling me to shut up?" Morgan whispered back, amused. He tightened his arms.

Reid snorted a laugh and kissed Morgan's cheek, relaxing more. "Shut up," he teased.

"Mmm," Morgan replied, and kissed Reid slowly.

Reid sighed happily into the kiss, stroking his hand over Morgan's scalp, his fingers barely brushing Morgan's skin.

Reassured that Reid really wasn't angry, and that he wasn't likely to call this off because of tonight, Morgan found himself breathing more slowly, his eyelids feeling heavier. He'd meant for things to go much differently tonight, but they were at least both naked, which was an improvement. Perhaps tomorrow morning they'd have time to explore further possibilities.



Part Nine