Miles To Go Before We Sleep, Part Five, Morgan/Reid
Title: Miles To Go Before We Sleep, Part Five
Authors: innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing: Morgan/Reid
Rating: R/FRM this part (up to NC-17/FRAO for the entire fic)
Summary: After Reid goes off the rails in Texas, Morgan decides Reid needs a friend to support him through whatever he's going through. Several cases and "awesomely" bad sci-fi flicks later, they both realize "friendship" isn't exactly what they want...but sorting through the baggage that stands in the way of a closer relationship is more difficult than either of them expected. Starting immediately after "Elephant's Memory" and running beyond the end of "Lo-fi", this is a multi-chaptered, non-WIP fic.
Word count: this part, ~8,800; overall, ~130K
Spoilers: Entire series - specifically Profiler, Profiled, The Big Game/Revelations, Elephant's Memory, In Heat, Tabula Rasa, and Lo-fi.
Warnings: Overall: UST, references to past sexual abuse, drug use/references to past drug use
Notes: Written in RP format. Not currently AU, but it will be after season four starts, as we've written our own ending to Lo-fi. :) A million thanks to mnemosyne_1 for being an awesome beta! :D

Previous Parts: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four


Derek Morgan was used to waking up in strange beds. He was even used to waking up with someone else in a strange bed. But when he woke up in a strange bed with someone snuggled against him and the Millennium Falcon hanging over his head, it took him a good ten heartbeats to stop wondering what he'd had to drink last night and where the hell he was.

Once he'd remembered that no, he hadn't done anything stupid, and yes, that was Spencer Reid snuggled up against him, he expected his heart to settle back into a calmer rhythm. Instead, his breathing shortened and he lay there thinking, Oh, God, what have I done? I'm going to fuck up our friendship. What the hell am I doing?

It took him a few minutes to crush the panic and force it into a small corner of his mind. It didn't slow his heart rate any, but it did allow him to close his eyes again and turn his head to rest his cheek against Spencer's hair.

Reid was slowly coming awake; the unsub in his dream had him cornered, but the image was fading with the brighter light from his windows seeping through his eyelids. Something was wrong. His bed was moving. He frowned before he even opened his eyes, and then something pressed against his head and he jumped, jerking back, eyes flying open. He stared at Morgan for a minute, his heart racing, slowly recalling the night before. They'd kissed in the kitchen. They'd kissed in bed. They'd slept together. Just slept. Right.

His heart hadn't stopped racing, but after a minute, he let go of the breath he was holding and collapsed back against Morgan's chest. "Not used t'my bed moving. There was unsub..." Oh, don't talk until you're awake. "Morning."

"Good morning, pretty boy," Morgan said, relieved that Reid hadn't woken up any better than he had. "I couldn't figure out where I was at first," he admitted. He slid his arm around Reid's lanky frame and stroked his back.

"I couldn't figure out how the unsub got in my bed," Reid mumbled, shivering at the touch of Morgan's fingertips.

"Mm, you'll have to get used to waking up with someone," Morgan said, rubbing his nose against Reid's jaw. "I'll be happy to help with that." There, thinking about a relationship was getting somewhat easier. Or at least not making his stomach lurch in panic.

That brought a smile to Reid's face, and he turned his head to kiss Morgan, though he wondered, a bit too late, if his breath was bad.

Morgan hummed happily into the kiss, liking the easy affection Reid offered. He shifted a little, pulling Reid against him and running his tongue lightly along Reid's lower lip. "Spencer," he murmured.

Reid curled his fingers gently against Morgan's side, gasping softly at the slide of Morgan's tongue. He moved to brace himself a little better and ran his hand over the coarse, barely-there hair on Morgan's head. "Derek," he whispered back, his other hand sliding down Morgan's chest.

Morgan's eyes fluttered shut, but opened again a moment later. He wanted to see Reid as they kissed, see Reid touch him. "Coming back to your place last night was the best decision I've ever made," he breathed, and kissed Reid again, his lips parted slightly in invitation.

Reid dipped his tongue into Morgan's mouth, deepening their kiss. Oh, this was nice, this slow, sleepy kissing, and Morgan didn't seem to care that Reid's hair was probably all over his head or that he hadn't brushed his teeth yet. He pulled back, grinning at the somewhat blurry Morgan. "Mmm, don't speak too soon," Reid said, and leaned back to get his glasses so he could properly see the gorgeous man in his bed.

Morgan shook his head. "Hey, I'm not saying everything's gonna be perfect. But what we have here, this is real. And I haven't felt this good--or this terrified--in a long time."

"I think it's mutual. The, ah, terror part. This is good, though," Reid murmured, kissing Morgan again to demonstrate what he meant. "This part."

Morgan lifted a hand to tuck Reid's hair back behind an ear, brushing his thumb along his cheekbone. Those cheekbones were pure art. Morgan's mouth curved in a slow smile. "I'm waking up with Dr. Spencer Reid, beautiful genius."

He ignored the compliment, mostly because he didn't really believe it. It felt good to look in Morgan's eyes and know Morgan believed it, though, and Reid trailed a hand over Morgan's muscled stomach. "How much time do we have?"

"No idea," Morgan admitted. "I haven't looked for your clock." He drew in a quick breath at the feel of Reid's palm against his stomach. "This is going to be interesting. JJ and LaMontaigne weren't very successful at keeping their relationship hidden." He kissed Reid again, hoping Reid would realize it wasn't shame or embarrassment that made him say that.

Reid hummed into the kiss, then looked at his clock. They had a little over an hour, he thought, but then realized he didn't know how much time Morgan needed, considering he'd probably need to go home to change and brush his teeth properly. "And they don't even work together.... The team will figure it out. I, ah, I think Prentiss and JJ have already noticed... well, that I was looking... at you." He sighed and rolled onto his back so that he could stretch. "We have about an hour," he added, his voice strained as he arched his back and lifted his arms.

"Does JJ know you're... flexible that way?" Morgan asked, not wanting to push a label on Reid, since he didn't really want to be labelled himself. "For a while I kinda thought you and she were...you know." He grinned and traced a fingertip along the line of bare skin between Reid's t-shirt and pajama pants.

Reid sucked in a breath at the feel of Morgan's fingertip, willing his body not to respond to how close Morgan's hand was to his groin. "I, ah, well, I liked JJ, I guess." Reid frowned for a moment, thinking how peculiar it was that he seemed to be attracted to petite, blond, blue-eyed women... and Morgan. "I think just because she was so friendly with me, more friendly at first than anyone else. It's better that nothing actually happened, though. And she never liked me like that, I don't think.... And if she didn't know before, I think she's figuring it out."

Morgan leaned in and kissed Reid again, trailing his lips across Reid's jaw, surprised at how much he liked the faint scratch of stubble against his lips. "Her loss, my gain," he whispered. He thought he'd be perfectly happy to lie here talking and kissing like this for hours. He still had a clean shirt in his ready bag, and he wondered if Reid would feel weird about Morgan using his shower. Almost instantly, he decided that might be pushing their limits a little too far just now.

God. Reid's eyes fluttered shut as Morgan's lips pressed against his skin, and he automatically tilted his head to encourage Morgan to continue. "Mmm," he hummed. "I might never get out of bed if you keep doing that." Not to mention if Morgan kept going, Reid wasn't sure his body would be able to keep ignoring what Morgan was doing.

Morgan chuckled, feeling a rush of affection. He was finally beginning to understand why he'd always felt drawn to Reid, even when he'd thought of him as an annoying know-it-all kid. Of course, that opinion hadn't lasted long--Reid had quickly earned Morgan's respect, first as a profiler and then as a man--but now Morgan was realizing that it had been attraction, pure and simple.

It wasn't always going to be this simple, he knew that. He pulled back to kiss Reid's mouth again, briefly but firmly, then shifted away just a little. "We're going to have to do some more talking about this," he said quietly.

Reid wondered what was left to talk about, though he suspected it had something to do with Carl and what he had done to Morgan. Reid nodded slowly, his eyes traveling the planes of Morgan's shoulders. "Okay," he murmured, and rolled onto his back. He stretched one last time before he rolled over again and swung his legs off the bed, sitting up. He reached over and drew his hand along Morgan's arm, tracing his finger down the nose of the lion tattooed there. "I'm going to make some coffee and get a shower," he said. "You're welcome to both."

Morgan's eyebrows went up, though he knew Reid wasn't inviting him to share the shower. All the same, it made him realize that Reid was obviously more ready to settle into a relationship than Morgan had expected Reid to be. Reid might not have any experience at releationships, but he was giving this everything he had. It wasn't that Morgan wasn't going to give it everything...but he'd expected to go into things more slowly than Reid seemed to want. Oh, God, just don't let me mess this up, he thought, and sat up, rubbing his hands over his face. "Coffee sounds great."

Reid registered the surprise on Morgan's face and wondered if offering his shower was too much too fast. He swallowed and pushed off the bed so he could pad down the hallway to the kitchen and start coffee. As he watched it brew, he thought. He was willing to do this at whatever pace Morgan was ready for. He wasn't going to push or pressure. But at the same time, Reid couldn't stop the deep desire to be truly close to someone -- someone who was mentally stable and constant -- for the first time in his life. He hoped if he could manage to be open and casual in this, whatever it was, maybe Morgan would relax.

Somehow, Reid had never imagined that he might be the one who was less out of his comfort zone, but then again, this wasn't just about sex for Morgan, was it? It had always been just about sex for Morgan before now. Of course, if it was just about sex this time , Reid knew he'd have been the one that was more terrified. And he was terrified, in his own way. He wasn't overly fond of his virginity, but that didn't mean losing it was without its own set of worries. Especially not with someone who's track record looked like Morgan's.

He just kept telling himself that this would be different for Morgan. It didn't just boil down to sex. It had to be different.

Reid poured himself coffee and headed to the bathroom. He smiled at Morgan over the rim of his mug as Morgan headed the other direction toward the smell of Folgers, which Reid had always thought just might really be "the best part of waking up." Of course, that was before he'd kissed Morgan just after waking this morning.

Morgan ducked into the bathroom while Reid was making coffee. His nerves were settling again, but he had a feeling this was going to be a generally frightening process, learning how to have a relationship with someone. He wondered if Reid would write about this to his mother. When he got to the kitchen, he found that Reid had set a mug out for him by the coffeemaker, so he filled it and leaned against the counter, relaxing further. He suspected he was going to be distracted at work today.

He listened to the shower running and spent a minute thinking about Spencer in the shower, which gave him a pleasant warmth that didn't feel too frightening. Of course, the minute he imagined himself joining Spencer in the shower, his heart rate jumped. He sucked in a breath and shook his head. Slow down, Derek, he told himself. He doesn't mind you taking your time.

When he heard the shower go off again, he refilled his cup, then headed back in the direction of the bedroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bed again when Spencer came out--dressed, but with wet hair.

Reid sort of wanted to kiss Morgan again, but Morgan looked a little lost (which, if he was being honest, was part of the reason Reid wanted to kiss him in the first place). Reid wasn't sure he'd ever seen Morgan look like that before, so he thought it was probably better to let Morgan have his space. He pulled on a tie, tying it and keeping silent, and then a cardigan that didn't quite match the rest of his clothes, wondering if Morgan was going to take him up on the shower or go home.

Morgan watched Reid finish dressing and wondered why Reid dressed like that. His lips curled slightly. "You know, my birthday's coming up. I think for my birthday, you ought to wear jeans to work." He finished his coffee and set the mug on the bedside table, then stood. "I'll be quick, if you want a ride to work." He grinned at the thought of Reid on the bike behind him and shut the bathroom door.

Reid smiled when he heard the water turned on. He pulled on a "pair" of socks and his shoes, slung his bag over his shoulder and waited for Morgan. Morgan was quick, and once he was out of the shower, dressed and ready to go, Reid gave him a questioning look. "Do you really think we should show up together on your bike?" he asked. It would be cause for question: did Morgan pick Reid up? If so, why? Or were they together the night before?

Morgan shrugged. "Who's going to see us in the parking lot together? Anyway, maybe I dropped you off at your apartment last night--which I did--and then picked you up this morning--which I sort of did." He grinned. "Come on, pretty boy, you know you like riding my bike." Reid had to know he wouldn't be angry if Reid opted to drive himself, but he couldn't resist trying to sweet-talk him a little.

"Who would see? Everyone else in the parking lot," Reid answered, then pursed his lips at Morgan's tone. It was the one he always used when he tried to convince Reid to do something. Now that Reid thought about it, it was almost flirty, yet it was no different than it had ever been before. "I liked getting that close to you," Reid admitted, almost dismissively, then went on, "Even if you dropped me off, why wouldn't I have taken the train this morning? Or driven myself? I'm out of your way."

Morgan's grin widened at Reid's admission, but he tilted his head at the rest, thinking Reid had a point. "You got me there. All right, I'll see you at work then, pretty boy." He moved closer. "But I think I need a goodbye kiss before I go." He winked.

The thoughtful frown on Reid's face faded, and he looked up at Morgan. It took a moment for his lips to curve up at the edges, and he leaned in, wrapping his arms around Morgan's broad shoulders easily. His eyes fell to Morgan's lips. "Okay," he breathed.

"Mmm." Morgan slid an arm around Reid's waist, pulling him closer. He liked this. Reid was slender for a man, but there was a quiet strength in his body that felt good. Something about the way Reid was suddenly so comfortable with physical closeness between them helped put Morgan at ease. "Do you have any plans after work?" he murmured, leaning in but not quite kissing Reid.

Reid closed his eyes even though Morgan hadn't yet, feeling Morgan's breath against his lips. "I was hoping maybe I could get a ride home."

"I think that could be arranged," Morgan whispered. He brushed his lips against Reid's in a light kiss that quickly grew firmer.

Reid made a needy noise and parted his lips, one of his hands sliding up Morgan's neck until his fingertips were brushing over the back of Morgan's head. "I was hoping we could do more of this too."

"Mm-hmm," Morgan agreed, kissing him again. "God, Spencer, we need to go," he murmured. "I'll see you at work." He pulled away just far enough to stroke a finger down Reid's cheek, gazing warmly at him.

Reid nodded and the small smile on his face faded again as he tried to get himself back into "work mode" around Morgan. "Right. See you."



*****



Reid had expected the day to drag much longer than it did, but he found that once he switched his mind off Morgan and onto the tasks he had to do, he could focus. It was easier now, he thought, now that they'd kissed, now that they'd spent the night together. The recent desire to look at Morgan was replaced with the knowledge that he would be able to go home and touch Morgan after work.

Of course, when Morgan leaned over his desk to talk about some case file he was working on and called Reid "pretty boy," Reid did have to fight the smile that wanted to bloom on his face. Hotch put an end to those encounters around noon, though, when he dropped by Reid's desk and pulled Reid away to a special project. Maryland law enforcement was working on a case of a woman who had allegedly murdered four of her children, and they'd asked for Hotch's help.

By the time Reid and Hotch arrived back at the office, it was late. Reid glanced at Morgan's desk, even though the entire bullpen was empty and he knew Morgan wouldn't have stuck around this late just for him. Whistling idly, Reid headed out of the building, leaving his stack of unfinished paperwork for the morning, and started toward the VRE station. He'd been hoping he could ride with Morgan on his bike on the way home, but Morgan was already gone, so he headed to the station, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

It had been almost a relief for Morgan to slip into work mode once he got to the BAU. He needed time to regroup and get a handle on himself, and throwing himself into his work helped with that. When Hotch and Reid headed out to Maryland, Morgan took a long lunch and drove home to refresh his ready bag and spoil Clooney for a while, then he went back to Quantico. He checked in briefly at the BAU, avoiding Penelope, because he was afraid she'd be able to read him too well, and then taught a hand-to-hand session.

After his second shower of the day, he headed back to the BAU office and discovered Reid and Hotch were still out. He worked at his desk for a couple of hours, hoping they would show up, but when JJ stopped by his desk on her way out and asked what he was still doing there, he had to admit defeat. He walked out to the parking lot with her and wished her a good evening, fighting his disappointment that the day hadn't gone quite like he and Reid had planned.

Of course, imagine what it would be like if we weren't both in this department, he thought. He knew Reid would have taken the train to work, so he headed for the station, and once he got inside, he settled in with a book to wait.

Reid wandered into the station, wondering if it would be silly to call Morgan when he got home. Morgan's day had probably been just as long as Reid's. He pushed inside the waiting room and went to get a coffee. It wasn't a long ride or walk, by any means, but he thought hot drink might help him uncoil after the day's events.

Morgan hadn't been able to concentrate on his book, because his mind was too busy trying to decide if he was being stupid. Should he head home and leave Reid a voice mail, or should he just call Reid's cell now? Or should he forget about it and let Reid call him? He'd lowered his book and was drumming his fingers against the cover when he saw the object of his thoughts walk into the station. A smile spread slowly across his face as he watched Reid's distinctive walk. "Okay, you've got it bad," he muttered to himself, and stood, shaking his head. Reid hadn't seen him yet, so he headed over to the cafe and leaned on the counter next to Reid. "Coffee and motorcycles don't mix well," he said lightly.

Reid had been focused on fishing money out of his wallet when he heard Morgan's voice. His head snapped up and he met Morgan's gaze, a smile crossing his face and his chest getting pleasantly tight as it had done when he'd found out Morgan liked him. "Oh. Um, hi," he said, stepping away from the counter.

"Hey," Morgan said, smiling. "I can save you about four bucks, if you want a ride." He hoped they'd be able to order in, or that Reid would cook--could Reid cook?--so they could talk privately.

"Yeah, let's go," Reid said. He was still a little too surprised to find Morgan here to think straight enough to say much of anything. Morgan seemed a better option than coffee, an even better way to uncoil.

Morgan found himself enjoying the ride to Reid's apartment even more now that he knew Reid wanted this as much as he did. Having Reid pressed against him, Reid's arms locked tight around his waist, was exciting, and hinted at better things to come. The twenty minute drive to Stafford was over almost too quickly, except that, as he slid off the bike and steadied Reid, he knew he was going to enjoy the rest of the evening too.

Reid got off the bike, feeling in much better spirits than he had when he'd left the BAU. He let them into his apartment and tossed his keys onto the kitchen counter, dropping his bag to the floor. "Have you eaten?"

"Not since lunch," Morgan said. He leaned against the counter, watching Reid. "I was trying to decide whether to get something without you or not...or whether I should just head home...when you walked in."

Reid nodded and turned to look at Morgan, tilting his head a bit and gazing at Morgan appreciatively for a moment. "I'm glad you stayed." He glanced at the fridge, then back at Morgan. "What do you want?"

Morgan laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You know, I don't even know if you cook. Do you cook? Or are we getting something delivered?" It was crazy. There was so much they didn't know about each other--but they understood each other.

Reid's lips pulled into a thin line. "I got a lot of practice cooking after my dad left. I'm not as good at it as I used to be, but I can cook." He sighed. It was silly that they were standing across the room from each other, and Reid crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Morgan, nuzzling his neck. "Or we can order something. Either way."

Surprised by the way Reid was suddenly right against him, Morgan hummed and slid his arms around Reid's waist. "You know, for a man who doesn't even shake hands, you're very affectionate," he said, smiling. He got the feeling maybe Reid didn't really like cooking, but he was going to leave it up to Reid what they did for dinner.

Reid swallowed and leaned against Morgan when Morgan's arms slid around him. "You feel safe," he replied.

That sent a funny pang through Morgan, and he tightened his hold on Reid. "God, Spencer," he whispered, turning his head to kiss Reid's hair. "I promise you, you're always safe with me." Safe. The word made Morgan's throat ache. He felt safe here too. But he couldn't help being afraid that his old fears would someday get the better of him.

"I know. I've always known that." Of course, Reid was all too aware that Morgan could hurt him. Reid didn't want to think about that; he wanted to believe that Morgan could keep his promise not to disappear, but there did seem to be a pattern of that in Reid's life. Reid sighed and kissed Morgan's neck. "What do you want?"

"Mm, you mean for dinner, or are you talking about something else?" Morgan said, trying for a flirtatious tone. He had a feeling he failed, but maybe Reid would ignore that for now. "You decide. We can cook, we can order pizza, we can do whatever you want." It occurred to him that, while he liked a woman who knew what she wanted, he usually behaved in a much more take-charge kind of way on dates. But he was trying to do things differently with Reid, and he had to wonder if he was overcompensating.

Reid smiled softly, then had to hold back a sigh when he realized he was going to have to choose. He pulled back slightly and looked at Morgan. "I have chicken, or I could make breakfast." That actually sounded good, he thought. "I don't care."

"Breakfast?" Morgan said, smiling faintly. "All right, sounds good. Want me to do something?"

Reid smiled too, moving away and going to the fridge where he pulled out eggs and frozen hash browns. It wasn't fancy, but it was quick and Reid always liked having breakfast for dinner. "There's bread in the pantry if you want toast. How do you like your eggs?"

Morgan laughed. "You know, that's a pick-up line I've never used," he teased, going to the pantry for the bread. "Scrambled, and completely cooked." He started on the toast, liking how comfortable he felt in Reid's kitchen. Safe, he thought again.

Reid furrowed his brow in confusion, turning from the stove to blink at Morgan. Pick up line? Eggs? ...Oh. Reid's brows unknit as the connection was made, and he turned back to the stove without acknowledging the momentary confusion. "Good, that means I don't have to cook twice."

"Coffee?" Morgan asked, looking for a can near the coffeemaker. It occurred to him that coffee was already one of the cornerstones of their relationship.

Reid set two pans to heating on the stove and started cracking eggs in a bowl. "Yeah," Reid agreed, and glanced up and tilted his head toward the shelf the coffee was on. As he cooked, his mind started wandering, going through the events of the day, from the investigation in Maryland right up to when he hugged Morgan and what Morgan had said to him just a few moments ago. "You know, you pass more germs shaking hands than kissing," he said, knowing full well that wasn't the reason he didn't shake hands with most people.

"Do you?" Morgan asked, glancing up from measuring the coffee. "I'll tell people that when I change how I start greeting you at work every morning," he said, winking.

"Eighty percent of infectious diseases are passed by human contact. In fact, according to the CDC--" Reid started, and then glanced over his shoulder to see the expression on Morgan's face and shut up, turning back to work on the eggs, with a small, self-deprecating smile.

Morgan's eyebrows went up, and he crossed the kitchen to slide an arm around Reid's waist. "What does the CDC say?" he asked, leaning lightly against Reid and letting his lips brush Reid's cheek.

Reid leaned back a little and made a face. "It doesn't matter," he said, feeling suddenly vulnerable. "I'm just making excuses for not wanting to touch people," he admitted, flipping the potatoes.

"But us touching doesn't bother you," Morgan said quietly, his tone almost a question. He was fairly certain it didn't, though; Reid had been voluntarily touching him since last night. His arm tightened as he registered the way Reid leaned back against him.

"No," Reid said, focusing on their food because it was easier than thinking about what they were talking about. "It really should, but it doesn't."

"I'm glad." Morgan kissed Reid's cheek, but then didn't pull away, just drawing in a slow breath. "I keep waiting to panic," he murmured after a moment. "I keep expecting that moment when I feel trapped, when I--" He broke off, realization hitting him. "When I think I don't have control any more," he whispered finally.

Reid closed his eyes at that, wanting to turn in Morgan's arms but not wanting their dinner to end up ruined. He didn't say anything right away, though he did press his cheek into Morgan's touch for a moment before putting the eggs and hash browns on plates. After their food was off the stove and the burners were turned off, Reid turned in Morgan's arms and framed Morgan's face with his hands, his gaze concerned. "I keep waiting for that too," he said, "For you to feel trapped."

Reid knew himself, he knew he wouldn't feel trapped. A steady, stable, equal, and mutually beneficial relationship was one of the few things he lacked and had desperately craved his entire life. When he thought about it, that was probably what Morgan was missing too -- at least romantically speaking, as Morgan had a stable family, after all -- and instead of waiting for one, Morgan had run from them. "I don't want to be in control. I... like your confidence too much. I just want to... be with you."

Morgan thought Reid could use more confidence of his own, though to be fair, he'd gained a lot of confidence in the years they'd known each other. "As long as you understand I'm probably gonna be difficult to put up with sometimes," he said. "Like I've said, I don't have a lot of first-hand knowledge of what a relationship should be like. I had ten years to watch my parents, and then Dad was gone." He shook his head slightly. "From then on...Well, I thought Hotch and his wife were...like, the perfect couple. And then she's gone." He glanced away and sighed, trying to find the words. After a moment, he looked back. "I don't want to do a half-assed job of being a real partner to you."

"I don't have any more first-hand knowledge than you do," Reid whispered. Truthfully, he couldn't help but think Morgan was still the more experienced of them both. His past "romantic" entanglements aside, Morgan made friends almost anywhere he went. Reid had spent a good portion of his life lonely. Again, Reid considered that this might be why Morgan ran from relationships while Reid craved them. Morgan had other people to help fill the gaps in his life. "Maybe we'll learn from everyone else's problems," he said, letting his hands slip from Morgan's face to his shoulders so he could kiss Morgan's jaw. "Our breakfast is going to get cold."

Morgan leaned in to kiss Reid properly. "You're probably too good for me," he said, and kissed Reid once more, then turned to pour them coffee.

Reid smiled faintly and just shook his head, then got their plates and moved to the table, where their conversation turned lighter. Well, "lighter" was relative when you worked for the BAU. Reid talked about the case in Maryland, and they discussed similar cases, like Marybeth Tinning and her nine suffocated children, and bounced ideas off one another as they ate. When Morgan said something that made Reid look at the case in a new light, Reid broke off in the middle of their meal to call Hotch and run the idea past him, but then they went right back to eating as if they hadn't been interrupted at all.

When the meal was done and the dishes were in the sink, Reid made himself another cup of coffee and turned to look at Morgan, shoving his hair behind his ears again. "There's still a copy of Frankenhooker with your name on it," he said, though truthfully, Reid would be happy just holding each other on the couch or in bed. He wasn't sure he'd stay awake through a whole movie after their late night last night.

Morgan looked thoughtfully at him. The movies had originally just been a reason to spend time with Reid, and he didn't really need an excuse now, but he was curious about Frankenhooker. All the same, he was going to have to head home at some point tonight, and he didn't really want to spend the evening watching a movie when they could be talking. Or kissing, which seemed like a better idea.

"What about coffee on the couch, and we watch the movie another night?" he suggested after a minute. "I'm more interested in you tonight."

Reid's lips curled, and he glanced at the coffee pot to make sure he didn't need to brew more. He didn't. "That sounds like a better plan. Even a classic like that might not keep me awake tonight," he said, humor creeping into his voice.

Morgan refilled his cup, then draped an arm around Reid's shoulders, guiding him over to the sofa. "So you're saying it's up to me to keep you awake," he said, a flirtatious note sliding back into his voice. "I hope I'm up to that challenge."

Reid settled on the sofa and smiled lightly, drawing Morgan down against him. "Keep me awake or put me to bed," he murmured. "I trust you to do either." As soon as the words came out, he felt his cheeks go warm again.

"You have a lot of faith in me, pretty boy," Morgan said, his fingers playing with the ends of Reid's hair. "I'm glad." He set his cup down and shifted to get more comfortable, lifting a hand to trace Reid's cheek and jaw. He thought they ought to talk more about this, but he didn't really know what needed to be said. Maybe there wasn't really anything, maybe it was just women who felt the need to talk about relationship stuff. Reid didn't seem to need to talk; he seemed perfectly happy with what they were doing. After a moment, Morgan leaned in to kiss him, his lips firm but not demanding.

Reid tilted his head into the kiss, deepening it a little but not taking control of it, then broke away to whisper, "I have to. I've never done this before, but I'm not sure there's any other way to do it." His arms slid around Morgan's waist, and he kissed Morgan again.

"You're right," Morgan murmured, his lips brushing Reid's as he spoke. He liked the way kissing Reid made him feel. It was exciting, but still felt safe. It didn't feel wrong or frightening, the way he'd half expected. "You know I have faith in you, Spencer," he whispered, and then kissed Reid again to keep him from speaking.

"Mmm," Reid replied as best he could, and then just shifted closer. The angle sitting here on the couch was more awkward than lying in bed had been. Reid wondered briefly if he could get away with climbing into Morgan's lap so they would face to face, but then got nervous and continued kissing Morgan instead.

Morgan shifted against Reid. Their contact sent a rush of heat up his legs, making his breath catch in his throat. He lifted a hand to cradle Reid's cheek, nibbling at Reid's lower lip. Reid had wonderful lips, and Morgan had a feeling he was quickly getting addicted to them.

Reid made a tiny, whimpery noise at the feel of Morgan's teeth, surprised at the new sensation, at how good it felt. Girls hadn't ever kissed him like that. His fingers curled against Morgan's side, gripping his shirt, and his other arm slid around Morgan's shoulders to pull him closer.

Oh, that was lovely. Morgan stroked his thumb along Reid's cheek, pleased at that little noise. He liked the idea of making Reid loosen up and give himself entirely to this moment, to physical enjoyment. He deepened the kiss, unconsciously asserting some control over the kiss.

Reid hummed in pleasure again, this time a little louder, which was slightly embarrassing. He had to remind himself that this was nothing new to Morgan - well, touching, kissing, and physical contact weren't, even if it had always been with women by choice - and he should try not to behave like someone long starved for touch and intimacy. Which he was realizing was quite difficult to do. Morgan wasn't really touching him much, though, so Reid forced himself not to go any farther than Morgan was going, even though his body was lighting up at the slide of Morgan's tongue against his.

Morgan let out a pleased groan, pressing closer. The way Spencer was responding made this exciting. Not only was Spencer okay with touching him, he enjoyed this, he met Morgan halfway; it was an equal give-and-take. Morgan had sort of expected Spencer to be more passive about physical intimacy, and his assertiveness was intoxicating. Morgan's hand slid from Spencer's jaw down his throat, fingers hooking lightly in his tie.

Reid sighed, pulling back just far enough to bite lightly at Morgan's lower lip, wondering if Morgan liked that as much as he had. He loosened his grip on Morgan's shirt and flattened his palm against Morgan's side, sliding it to Morgan's stomach and chest, feeling the hardness of Morgan's body through his shirt.

Morgan sucked in a breath and leaned into Reid's touch with a hungry noise. "Spencer, God," he murmured. He looked at the younger man for a moment, eyes bright with desire, then leaned in for another kiss. His fingers worked to loosen Reid's tie, and he registered that this was something else different about kissing a man. Suddenly he felt a new appreciation for Reid's ties. He trailed breathless kisses along Reid's jaw.

That noise, the tone of Morgan's voice, and the way Morgan was looking at him sent a shock of lust through Reid, a thrill that went straight to his groin. He panted softly as Morgan's lips trailed over his jaw, and his body raced with want. Morgan was undressing him, and Reid couldn't deny the fear that mingled with the desire as well. Reid moved his hand until it could slip under Morgan's shirt, Morgan's skin hot against his hand.

That was wonderful. Reid's hand against his skin, the sound of his breathing...Morgan nibbled lightly at Reid's jaw, then kissed his way down to Reid's throat, his fingers undoing just the top button of Reid's shirt. He didn't want to push too far, unsure which of them would panic first--though he suspected himself--and anyway, being with Reid was new and breath-taking, and he wanted to enjoy this fully before moving on. "So sexy," Morgan breathed against Reid's skin, and wondered if he dared press Reid down against the sofa.

"Oh God," was all that Reid could even think to say in reply. His brain had promptly clicked off as soon as Morgan's lips moved lower, which was amazing in and of itself. His chest felt a little tight at the idea of Morgan pushing open much more of his shirt, but for the first time ever, Reid actually understood the expression about thinking with your penis instead of your brain. It felt too good to stop, and he was hard. God, he was hard. He was tempted to look down to see if Morgan was as excited as he was, but he didn't dare.

Sucking lightly at Reid's throat, Morgan buried his hand in Reid's hair. The roughness of Reid's stubble against his lips was exciting. Hell, just the fact that he was kissing Spencer was still exciting. Morgan found himself wondering how long he'd had been interested in Reid without realizing it. He scraped his teeth lightly against Reid's throat and then pulled away, panting, to stare at Reid.

Reid looked at Morgan through half-lidded eyes, his breathing shaky by the time Morgan pulled away. In fact, when he lifted his hand to stroke the back of Morgan's head, he realized that his hands were shaking too. "Morgan. Derek," he panted, still not quite able to think. He briefly wondered if there was any truth to the saying that there wasn't enough blood for both heads to work at the same time, but he doubted there was any real research on the subject, so the thought slipped away fast.

Morgan gave him a slow smile and leaned in for a lazy kiss. "This is better than I could have imagined," he murmured when he pulled away. He hadn't really thought Reid would be so responsive. He didn't want to push them too far tonight, so he sat back, gazing at Reid again. "Pretty boy," he whispered, brushing his fingertips along Reid's cheek.

Reid nodded in agreement. It was better than he'd imagined, having the real thing. The only problem was that they were stopping, and while Reid knew that was probably for the best, his body didn't. He shifted a little to resituate himself in his pants, and then leaned into Morgan, kissing his neck and jaw.

Humming softly, Morgan tilted his head, giving Reid full access. He slid an arm around Reid's waist, stroking his other hand over Reid's hair. Reid's lips sent shivers all through him, doing nothing to calm his breathing. He was no stranger to physical pleasure, but knowing this was someone who'd been in his life for years and still wanted him like this was new. He wondered why this wasn't more frightening, and wondered if it was because Reid understood his job and his priorities. His eyes fluttered closed and he let out a quiet noise of enjoyment.

Oh, that was nice, the noise that crossed Morgan's lips. Reid wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, but he liked how it had felt when Morgan had kissed his neck. And his body was insisting that he should not stop touching Morgan. He shifted again so that he was better pressed against Morgan's side and drew the flat of his tongue up Morgan's jaw, moaning a little at the way Morgan tasted.

"Oh my God, Spencer!" Morgan gasped, his arm tightening around the other man's waist. His heart rate jumped as a thrill of desire went through him. They really had to stop, or they were going to go too far. He couldn't bring himself to say the words. His breath had gone shaky with wanting, and he buried his fingers in Reid's hair, having no desire to let go of him.

Reid had never heard Morgan sound like this before, and it was as intoxicating as it was encouraging to know that he wasn't screwing this all up. Then again, to say Reid was a fast learner in most things was an understatement. His hand slid farther under Morgan's shirt, his fingertips brushing Morgan's chest, and he bit lightly at Morgan's jaw.

Morgan groaned and gently tightened his fingers in Reid's hair. "Oh, you are killing me, sexy boy," he managed. He tilted his head down and kissed Reid back hard, wanting to make him understand how much Morgan was enjoying this. When they were both breathless, he pulled away, framing Reid's face in his hands and meetingReid's gaze.

Panting hard, Reid stared at Morgan hungrily, though he had a feeling he knew what this pause meant. He resisted asking and just closed his eyes, turning his head to kiss the inside of Morgan's palm, willing his breath to calm and his body to stop humming with need.

"You are gorgeous," Morgan whispered, thumbs stroking Reid's cheeks softly. "Now why did it take me so long to realize what I wanted was you?"

Reid expelled a breath of a laugh at the compliment, his brows drawing together again just slightly. "It's not at all uncommon for sexual attraction to others of the same gender to remain repressed for years, especially in men who live in cultures where any given amount of value is assigned to being macho and all that that entails."

Morgan laughed and leaned in for a brief, soft kiss. "Gorgeous and smart," he teased. His smile was warm as he watched Reid. "I think I could get used to this."

Reid smiled a little and shifted away from Morgan to slouch against the couch, crossing his legs to try to disguise his flagging erection. "I think I could too," he breathed.

Morgan leaned sideways against the back of the couch, looking at Reid. After a moment, he trailed his fingertips along the inside of Reid's forearm, then curled their fingers together. He didn't want to stop touching Reid just because they weren't making out any more. He loved that Reid liked Morgan touching him. "I feel more comfortable than I expected to," he said after a minute. "Course, we're barely a day into this, but..." He trailed off, shrugging.

Reid smiled at the way Morgan was holding his hand, glad that Morgan didn't seem to want to stop kissing him. "That's good though, isn't it?" he murmured, though it was plain by his tone the question was meant to be rhetorical. He turned his head to let his eyes travel along Morgan's face and the jaw he'd just been licking. Reid stroked a thumb over Morgan's hand. "Probably don't have to tell you you're gorgeous," he said, returning Morgan's compliment, even though it felt funny. It was the truth, but he had a feeling Morgan had heard it all his life.

Morgan's lips curled into a smile. "You can tell me as often as you like," he said, warmed. It was nice to know Reid liked the way he looked. It seemed incredible that this could really be happening. He wondered what his family was going to make of this. That idea sent a strange feeling through him that was half panic and half excitement. He exhaled quickly, still looking at Reid.

Reid tilted his head at Morgan. "You are gorgeous," he said, "I've always thought so." He wondered if that meant anything to Morgan, or if there was something more meaningful he could say. Reid resolved to come up with something better than complimenting Morgan's outward appearance, something that maybe no one else had ever said to Morgan.

Smile widening, Morgan leaned in. "I'm glad you think so," he murmured, and kissed him again. He lifted his free hand to touch Reid's cheek. "It means something, coming from you."

Reid leaned into the kisses, smiling a little more. "I'm glad," he said honestly, though it didn't lessen his resolve.

Morgan shifted and held his arms open. "Come here, pretty boy. I want to hold you for a while before I go."

Reid eyed Morgan for a minute, but then shifted so that he was against Morgan's chest, his arms sliding around Morgan as Morgan wrapped him in an embrace. He was quiet for a while, just listening to the sound of Morgan's heart beating a steady rhythm and letting his mind wander over the events of the day again. "Morgan?" he said softly, after a long pause.

Morgan liked having Reid in his arms like this. He felt strong and capable, but at the same time, he felt wanted. He felt at peace. "Mm-hmm?"

Reid closed his eyes and was quiet again for a long moment, wondering what exactly it was about what he was about to ask that was making him nervous. "Would it, ah, be all right with you if I wrote about this... in my letters?"

The question sent jolt of that panic-excitement through Morgan, and he sucked in a breath, before tightening his arms around Reid. "Yeah," he whispered. "Yeah, it's all right. It's more than all right."

Reid nodded, taking comfort in the way Morgan was holding him tighter. "Are you sure? I mean, it's unlikely she would ever... need to be brought to Quantico again, so it shouldn't be a problem. And I just... I tell her everything." Of course, Reid had no idea how his mother would react, but he'd felt like he was hiding something when he'd written today's letter and hadn't mentioned Morgan.

"She's your mother, Reid," Morgan said, rubbing Reid's shoulder lightly. "I'm fine with that." He paused, thinking about the time he'd met Diana Reid and the case that had revolved around those letters. "You know...I've always sort of wondered something," he said after a moment.

Reid lifted his head to meet Morgan's gaze. "What?"

"That case," Morgan said. "Elle got a body. Gideon got a head. JJ got a butterfly. Hotch got a note. You got a key. Garcia got hacked. I...got ignored."

Reid blinked at Morgan for a minute. He'd never considered that before, and after a moment, he smiled. Then he laughed softly and leaned in and kissed Morgan. "You got lucky," he said. "I talked about you too, though you were never as much of an open book with me as, well, just about everyone else was back then."

Morgan tilted his head, narrowing his eyes playfully. "But you did write about me? Let me guess, 'Dear mom, there's this obnoxious dumb jock on the team too. He's pretty, but I wish he'd walk in front of a bus'."

Reid's laughter got a little louder, and he grinned up at Morgan. "That was about the gist of it, yeah," he teased, and then kissed Morgan quickly, deeply, to distract him.

"Mmm, I knew it," Morgan said between kisses. He tightened his arms around Reid. "Maybe that's why Desiree's always asking if I'm being nice to you." He smiled, liking the sound of Reid's laughter.

Reid hummed happily, relaxing against Morgan's chest again. "Honestly, if roles were reversed, you could have written the same about me back then. You just would have substituted 'know-it-all kid' for dumb jock."

"Nah, I would never have said that sort of thing about you," Morgan lied, his tone making it obvious he might have said that once or twice. He chuckled. "You earned my respect pretty quickly, though, kid. I just sometimes have a hard time admitting I've been wrong."

Reid looked up and pursed his lips at the emphasized 'kid,' but just leaned in to kiss Morgan. "We were both wrong." He kissed Morgan again and then swallowed a yawn. "It's getting late. Go home to your dog," he murmured.

"Hmm." Morgan kissed Reid lingeringly, then sighed. "We're going to have to figure something out with Clooney. I don't want to lock my dog in the laundry room every time you come over."

"It's not that I don't like dogs. It's that they don't like me," Reid said. Okay, fine, it was a little bit of both, but Reid maintained that it was years of being barked at that caused him to see dogs in a negative way.

Morgan shifted, but didn't push Reid away. "What was that you said about putting you to bed?" he teased.

Reid smiled a little and kissed Morgan. "I would like that, but I'd just have to get up again to lock the door after you as soon as you left anyway."

Morgan laughed. "Next time I'll stay, then," he promised, and shifted Reid gently away from him. He felt reluctant to leave, but he knew they both needed time on their own.

Reid nodded, though part of him was looking forward to having the rest of the night to himself. It wasn't that he wanted Morgan to go so much as he was used to being alone, and he hadn't been alone at all since he'd gone to work yesterday morning. Besides, there had been a lot of new developments to try to put in perspective. He pushed off the sofa and pulled Morgan with him. "I can walk you to the door, though."

Smiling, Morgan stole another kiss. "Good." They made their way to the door in a series of fits and starts, interrupted by kisses, but finally Morgan pulled himself away. "I'll see you tomorrow," he promised, and headed for his bike. It had to mean something, he thought, that he wanted nothing more than to linger. Usually he wanted to have his fun, then get back to his own life, his own space. But with Reid...well, everything was different.


Part Six