Miles To Go Before We Sleep, Part Three, Morgan/Reid
Title: Miles To Go Before We Sleep, Part Three
Authors: innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing: Morgan/Reid
Rating: PG/PG-13/FRT this part (up to NC-17/FRAO for the entire fic)
Summary: After Reid goes off the rails in Texas, Morgan decides Reid needs a friend to support him through whatever he's going through. Several cases and "awesomely" bad sci-fi flicks later, they both realize "friendship" isn't exactly what they want...but sorting through the baggage that stands in the way of a closer relationship is more difficult than either of them expected. Starting immediately after "Elephant's Memory" and running beyond the end of "Lo-fi", this is a multi-chaptered, non-WIP fic.
Word count: this part, ~5,300; overall, ~130K
Spoilers: Entire series - specifically Profiler, Profiled, The Big Game/Revelations, Elephant's Memory, In Heat, Tabula Rasa, and Lo-fi. (This chapter takes place right after In Heat.)
Warnings: This chapter: Angst; Overall: UST, references to past sexual abuse, drug use/references to past drug use
Notes: Written in RP format. Not currently AU, but it will be after season four starts, as we're writing our own ending to Lo-fi. :) A million thanks to mnemosyne_1 for being an awesome beta! :D

Previous Parts: Part One, Part Two


Morgan had felt Reid watching him when the team got on the jet to leave Miami. He supposed Reid knew Lopez had made a pretty explicit offer once the case was wrapped up. She'd even pegged him right--Cuban food, mojitos, Brazilian jazz--but that had just made him think of their first night in Miami when he and Reid had gone to dinner.

And somehow he hadn't been able to bring himself to take her up on the offer. Oh, they'd have had fun, he was sure. She was pretty, and she definitely had a nice ass. But...Reid's words kept echoing in his memory. Don't you ever get tired of it?

So instead of cashing in a couple of vacation days, Morgan had told her goodbye, given her a polite promise to look her up next time he was in Miami, and climbed on the jet with the rest of the team. And then he'd spent the entire flight home staring out the window and avoiding Reid's gaze. He didn't want to have to explain to Reid why he hadn't stayed when he wasn't even sure himself.

Reid had spent the first part of the flight darting glances at Morgan, but when Prentiss caught his gaze halfway through the flight, Reid slouched in his chair and focused on the deck of cards in front of him. Fortunately, JJ had been quick to take him up on a game, so he was able to stop thinking about Morgan and why he hadn't gone out with Lopez. Three games of rummy later, Reid had won two out of three and the jet was landing.

Reid turned down offers to join the team at The Auld Dubliner, and he noticed Morgan did too, but he just headed for the door when he was through with his paperwork. "Night, Derek," he said, using his first name on purpose and waving goodbye as he slipped out the door.

Morgan had let everyone else leave, and he was more than half tempted to let Reid leave, too...but then Reid called him Derek. Whether it was a dig about Lopez or a slip into closer friendship, he couldn't ignore it. His heart gave a funny jump and he straightened at his chair. Let him go, urged a voice in the back of his head. He stared at the closing door for a few seconds, then swore and jumped up, hurrying after him.

"Hey! Spencer!" he called as soon as he reached the door.

Reid hadn't been intending to "test" Morgan, but he couldn't help that his lips curved into a near-sly smile when Morgan called after him. He turned around, his eyebrows lifting, and bounced on his feet. "Yeah?"

Morgan rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to say now. "What was that movie you mentioned? Frankenhooker?"

Reid's expression brightened. Morgan had turned down a night with Lopez for Frankenhooker with Reid. Reid swallowed and tried to remind himself this didn't mean anything beyond friendship... though he was having a hard time with that in general and it had gotten worse since he'd heard the way Morgan reacted to finding out just how Stephen Fitzgerald had become what he was, how his father had made him hate himself so much he'd started taking it out on every interested gay man he'd come across. "Are you in your car, or on the bike? I took the metro."

"Bike," Morgan said, feeling a little guilty about that. He hoped it wouldn't make Reid change his mind. He wasn't entirely sure the other man had liked it, considering the way he'd clung to Morgan the last time. Then again, maybe he'd feel more comfortable with it a second time.

Reid's lips pulled into a thin line and his stomach did a little swoop, but he nodded. "Okay."

"Hey, I'll take good care of you," Morgan said, and then realized it was an unconscious echo of Lopez's last words to him. He shrugged and let the door swing shut as he headed for the parking lot. He'd deal with his ready bag in the morning. He was too tired for laundry tonight, anyway.

Reid followed Morgan out to his bike and put his bag in the luggage rack, pulling out the second helmet he'd used last time. Despite how nice it felt that Morgan was taking him up on another movie, Reid's thoughts kept going back to Lopez. He didn't completely buy the excuse Morgan gave Hotch for going to face Fitzgerald without waiting for the team. Morgan would have known the kids in that building were safe, given this particular unsub's MO. Reid had a feeling Lopez had something to do with Morgan jumping the gun, but then Reid also was aware enough to know that his own jealousy concerning Morgan and Lopez's flirting had probably clouded his judgment.

Reid tugged the helmet on and fastened it, keeping his tone even. "You really didn't think you had time to wait for the team?"

Morgan got his own helmet on and sighed. "This doesn't get back to Hotch? Lopez jumped the gun. I told her we should wait for the team, but she just took off. I wasn't letting her go in without backup." He glanced at Reid, but couldn't quite meet his gaze before turning to get on the bike.

Reid watched Morgan get on the bike. He knew it had been Lopez. But he really couldn't say anything about how Morgan had responded. Even if he didn't care for Lopez, Reid knew she'd needed backup in the situation she'd put herself in, and Reid would have done the same thing himself. He slid in behind Morgan without saying anything, and sucked in a breath at the feeling of Morgan's back against his chest. Oh, right. This was why it had been so easy to agree to the bike ride again, even when it still felt unnecessarily reckless.

Some of the tension seeped out of Morgan's shoulders when he felt Reid settle in behind him. He closed his eyes for a minute, telling himself he was just relieved Reid hadn't made an issue of it. The jumpy feeling in his gut told him he was lying to himself. You turned down a hot Latina babe because you wanted to be with Reid.

He took a deep breath and grabbed Reid's wrist, pulling his arm more tightly around his waist. "Hold on," he ordered, and took off too fast. After a minute he made himself slow down. He couldn't outrun this, not with Reid pressed warm against his back. Hell, he wasn't even sure he wanted to outrun it. And maybe that was what scared him.

Reid clung to Morgan for the first few minutes. Morgan was driving faster than he had the last time they'd done this and Reid wondered if he was upset that Reid had asked about what had happened with Fitzgerald. He must have forgotten Reid's apprehension on the bike at first, but felt the tension in Reid's body. Once Morgan slowed, Reid started to relax again and lowered his head so that his chin was more comfortably settled on Morgan's shoulder. After a while, he closed his eyes so he could focus on the feeling of Morgan's body against his chest and hands, knowing Morgan would be watching the road and not whether Reid's eyes were open.

Morgan couldn't help it; he blew past the cut-off to Reid's apartment, even knowing Reid would realize he wasn't taking the shortest route. He could always say he had to work off some steam after the case. What he really wanted was a few more miles of open road, full throttle, and that familiar warmth against his back. He kept trying to pretend he didn't know what was going on, trying not to acknowledge the way Stephen Fitzgerald and his father had hit home with him. But he knew what it was like. He'd felt what Stephen felt. And he trusted Reid, yes, but there was no way he could talk about this case with any level of comfort. Not even with Reid. Maybe especially not with Reid.

Finally, though, he'd taken the long route and burned several extra minutes, and he couldn't think of any excuse to prolong the drive any more. He pulled into a parking space in front of Reid's building with his heart racing, praying that Reid wasn't going to call him on it.

Reid missed that Morgan passed his cut-off at first, his eyes still closed, but when he opened them again, he could tell they were a few blocks past Reid's apartment and going the wrong way. Reid frowned in thought, but didn't say anything, and when they finally pulled into a spot outside his apartment, Reid reluctantly slid off the back of the bike, bracing himself on Morgan for a moment before pulling his helmet off.

He felt strange, almost like their mutual silence was more intimate than it should be, but he just gave Morgan a small smile and slung his bag over his shoulder, then waited for Morgan to follow him into the building. He reminded himself that he really shouldn't worry about what Morgan would think of his place, but he couldn't stop the niggling feeling of self-consciousness as he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Morgan's first thought was, This is exactly what I expected. He looked around, not hiding his curiosity. From the bookshelves crammed full and overflowing to the mismatched furniture that seemed to go perfectly with Reid's style of dressing to the scale models of the U.S.S. Enterprise and the Death Star, the apartment reflected Reid's quirky, brilliant personality. A smile stretched broadly across his face and he nodded. "Yeah. This is perfect, Reid." It was absolutely nothing like his own home, yet he felt utterly comfortable here.

Reid locked his door and tossed his keys on the kitchen counter, watching Morgan with barely controlled anxiety. Something in his chest eased at both the expression that crossed Morgan's face and what Morgan said. A smile bloomed on Reid's face. "It's comfortable." Compared to Morgan, Reid knew he lived like a perpetual college student.

"Yeah," Morgan said, turning in a small circle to look around. "It is." He looked at Reid, suddenly feeling much more comfortable. "I like it."

"Thanks," Reid said, still smiling. "It's not really much." He crossed the room to his shelf, crouching to look at his DVDs. "There's Frankenhooker or, ah..." He hesitated, not sure if he should be embarrassed that he'd gone and bought what he was about to mention next after his conversation with Morgan on their last 'movie night.' "Or MST3K." He really didn't feel like a movie anymore, but what he did feel like was inappropriate.

"Hey, you have that?" Morgan went to stand by Reid, glancing over the titles he had. "I don't know, you pick." He didn't really care so much what they watched just now. He needed something easy, something he could watch while he tried to figure out what was going on with him. He'd turned down Lopez to be with Reid. Okay, Morgan was never the kind of guy who would ditch plans with a buddy because of a woman, but he hadn't had plans with Reid. He'd turned down plans with a woman on the off chance that Reid might want to do something. Shit, his heart was starting to do funny things again. He moved away to look at the bookshelves, trying to get a little distance.

Reid pulled out MST3K and stood, turning around to face Morgan. "Do you want something to drink or anything? I, ah, I don't have any alcohol," he said, shrugging. He didn't really want to add that that was because he hadn't wanted to start substituting drinking for shooting up on the nights that his cravings were the worst. It didn't bother him to admit it to Morgan now, but he didn't want to say anything to change the mood. "I have Coke, coffee, tea..."

"Coke's fine," Morgan said. It occurred to him suddenly why Reid might not have alcohol, and he wondered if he should keep pushing that on him, or if Reid was even trying to go completely clean. He licked his lips, then decided not to say anything.

Reid popped the disc in his DVD player and wandered back to his kitchen as the previews started to play, getting them both a Coke. After a moment's thought, he threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave and went back out to join Morgan on the couch while it popped.

Morgan had sprawled on one end of the couch, rubbing absently at his chest in a vain attempt to get his heart to slow down. Don't think about this, he told himself. Just take it for what it is. God, how was he supposed to tell the kid he'd suddenly overridden Morgan's desire to get it on with a pretty woman? He wasn't. For one thing, he hadn't even thought about another guy for years. Not like this, not after everything that happened with Carl. Carl had made him feel ugly and dirty, and he'd just learned to associate that with physical interest in another man. He didn't have a problem with other people being gay. But Derek Morgan just wasn't interested in that. Couldn't be.

Except he was.

Keep cool, Derek, he told himself. Reid doesn't know what's going on here. He just thinks you're watching a movie, hanging out. This is not worth losing his friendship over. He closed his eyes and rubbed his fingertips against his eyelids, trying to banish the panic along with the thoughts that were inspiring it.

Joel and Tom Servo were on the screen, and Reid tried to watch, but he couldn't help but notice that Morgan's demeanor had changed. He wondered if he should say anything or let it go, but after a moment, Reid turned and looked at Morgan. "You all right, Derek?" He liked using Morgan's first name, even if it felt weird and didn't roll off the tongue the same way that 'Morgan' did. He suspected it would be difficult to get used to, and reminded himself not to use it in front of the team if he did start using it more. It would be too obvious why he was using it.

Morgan sucked in a breath and glanced at Reid, trying to hide his anxiety, though he couldn't help liking the way Reid said his name. "Yeah, fine." He realized a moment later how abrupt that had sounded, and he shrugged his shoulders, trying to loosen up a little. "Thanks, Spencer." There, see, he could use Reid's first name, too. And it seemed better than 'pretty boy' or 'genius' or any of the little nicknames that suddenly seemed entirely too flirty.

Reid nodded. Something was clearly wrong, and everything had seemed to be going so well just moments ago. Reid let it slide, though. He knew better than to push Morgan when he was uncomfortable, and hopefully Morgan would tell him when he was ready. Reid pushed off the couch to get the popcorn and returned a few minutes later with it in a big bowl. He sat it in between them and settled back down, wondering if he'd done something to cause this change.

When Reid let it go, Morgan let out a slow breath and started to calm. Maybe they cut each other more slack because of their jobs, or maybe they just cut each other slack because they needed it themselves. But whatever the reason, Reid wasn't going to push him, so he had time to calm down and begin to reason with himself.

He couldn't ignore the way their fingers brushed sometimes when they reached for the popcorn at the same time, but he was able to relax enough to enjoy that, telling himself it was innocent enough, and Reid wasn't acting weird about it. Eventually the brain in a jar that kept attacking people caught and held his attention, so by the time the episode was over, he was feeling all right again.

If Reid was honest with himself, he knew why he'd decided on the popcorn. He knew he shouldn't indulge in touching Morgan when he could, but he couldn't help himself. Morgan seemed to have calmed down too, and that helped. When the movie was over, Reid turned and looked at him. Even if Reid never got more that this, he was glad to have this in the first place; Morgan was becoming the first close friend Reid could remember having. "I have more popcorn, if you want to make it a double feature."

Morgan thought about it, then shrugged. He didn't have anything better to do, and the neighbor was still feeding Clooney, so there was no rush. "Sure." He looked around and gestured at one of the models. "You put that together or buy it that way?" He didn't really care about watching a movie, but he'd settled down again, and he liked the fact that Reid wanted him to stick around.

Reid smiled a little and looked over at the model. "77 parts: 4 screws, 6 bulbs, 9 metal clasps, 2 Metal Foil Adhesive Strips, and 56 injection-molded styrene. It's the classic. NCC-1701. The NX-01 and NCC-1701-B are in the bedroom with the Millennium Falcon." His stomach flipped in a funny way when he mentioned his bedroom, and he reminded himself not to be stupid.

"You've got the Millennium Falcon?" Morgan said, standing. "I gotta see that. I always wanted to be Han Solo." He ignored the funny twinge he'd got when Reid said it was in the bedroom. It didn't mean anything. It was just a model of a space ship. That's all. He wasn't curious about what Reid's bedroom looked like. Really. Mentally he rolled his eyes at himself. Of course he was curious.

Reid hesitated, then stood and pointed toward his bedroom. "Back there," he said, and then, "Everyone wanted to be Han Solo. Even I wanted to be Han Solo. I'll give you two guesses which one of us got closer to achieving that level of cool." He followed behind Morgan, flicking the light in his room on and hovering in the doorway when Morgan went to inspect the model, lowering his voice now that they were in a smaller room. "That one was about 900 parts," he said, though it was probably obvious in the detail that the Falcon was more complicated than the NCC-1701.

Morgan snorted and refrained from trying to compare Reid to Star Wars characters. He didn't think it would come across as a compliment to call Reid C-3PO. "Seriously, man, I spent hours trying to smile like Harrison Ford. Dressed up like him for Halloween one year." That had been before he realized how creepy Halloween was, with people trying to hide their real identities. He turned and grinned at Reid, then wondered if Reid had ever got a chance to do much trick-or-treating as a kid. Sometimes he wondered how normal any of their team was.

"My mom thought Halloween was a conspiracy designed by the FDA to get kids addicted to sugar, among other things." Reid smiled anyway, though it was a little sad, and tried to imagine Morgan as a little kid dressed up like Han Solo. Somehow comparing Morgan to Han did nothing to stop the thoughts of just how sexy Morgan was. In fact, it made it worse. "I think your hours of practice paid off, actually," he said absently, thinking of the charming way Morgan smiled.

Raising his eyebrows, Morgan folded his arms over his chest. "Are you calling me scruffy-looking?" he teased. Then it occurred to him that could be taken for flirtation. Which it is, said a little voice in the back of his head. He turned back to look at the model again. Of course Reid's mother had seen a conspiracy in Halloween. Hell, even fairly normal people saw it as a holiday of the devil, so it stood to reason a paranoid schizophrenic would view it differently.

After a moment, Morgan shrugged. "And you know, that was probably one of the last times I dressed up for Halloween. You know I think it's damn creepy."

Reid tilted his head, looking at Morgan. "Everyone pretending to be something they're not? It's creepy in adults. Clowns give me the creeps, though Coulrophobia is fairly prevalent in our society." Reid finally walked in the room and moved behind Morgan to look at the model with him. "Not as common as Nyctophobia, which is one of the top ten most common phobias." Mostly in children. "But still fairly common."

"Coulrophobia being the fear of clowns? I don't like 'em either. So what's Nyctophobia?" Morgan looked over his shoulder at Reid curiously. The bedroom suddenly seemed a lot smaller.

Reid cleared his throat and focused on the model. "Fear of the dark."

Morgan nodded slowly. He hadn't exactly forgotten Reid was afraid of the dark, but he hadn't thought about it for a while. "It's a natural fear, to my mind," he said. "Bad things usually happen in the dark, not in the light." He hesitated. "Are you afraid just when you're alone in the dark, or is it even when other people are around?"

"Actually, with the exception of sexual assault, most violent crimes occur between the hours of six AM and six PM. Over half of them." He glanced over at Morgan, mentally switching off the statistics to answer Morgan's question. He frowned in thought before opening his mouth, realizing the answer wasn't exactly a simple one. "That depends on how dark we're talking, I guess. And who I'm with. And, ah, what I'm doing." He smiled a little self-deprecating smile. "Can't always flip on a light switch when you're in an unsub's house."

Morgan turned slowly, wanting to give Reid time to move to a more comfortable distance, even though he also sort of craved that closeness. "The worst things that have happened to me have been mostly in the dark," he said quietly. He hadn't really been talking just about crime, and he supposed in a way he'd been talking about metaphorical darkness just as much as literal, even if Reid was afraid of 'the inherent absence of light'. His lips quirked and he shrugged, watching Reid's face.

Reid stepped back and nodded, understanding what Morgan meant, but not pushing. Carl was something Morgan could talk about if he wanted, but Reid wasn't about to pry. Yet again, Reid was tempted to touch Morgan, to comfort him, but they were standing in the middle of his bedroom. "Sigmund Freud said that the fear of dark was caused by separation anxiety." He paused and bounced on the balls of his feet. "I suppose it's better when I'm not alone."

Morgan nodded, thinking about that. His brow furrowed, and finally he said, "Spencer, you know I'm not going anywhere, right? I mean, I know...Gideon's taking off like that..." He shook his head, not sure he should even be bringing this up. But Reid had to have abandonment issues after his father and Gideon, and the fact that his mother had been in no condition to be a real parent to him couldn't help. "I just--I'm not going to disappear on you."

As soon as he said it, he felt stupid. Reid wasn't asking anything of him. Hell, he was probably making too big a deal of this.

Reid looked down at Gideon's name. He hadn't thought about that in a while, but it still stung. Gideon was there one minute, and then he was just gone. Even when his dad had left, Reid had seen it coming. He got to say goodbye, in a sense. Reid understood why Gideon disappeared, but it still left an emptiness in himself that seemed impossible to fill. He suddenly wished he hadn't dumped all the alcohol in his apartment, which instantly reminded him why it was a good thing he had.

After a moment, Reid looked up at Morgan and smiled sadly. "You can't promise that. Neither could Gideon, not with our jobs. And my dad..." He shook his head and pursed his lips. "You don't have to protect me, Morgan. I... think you think you do sometimes, but you don't." It wasn't as if they were in a relationship. They never would be either, Reid reminded himself. His heart sank. "You wanna go get a drink?" he said, turning and walking out of the room with sudden nervous energy.

"Hey, hang on, Spencer," Morgan said, catching up to him and stopping him with a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, it's not about protecting you. I mean, yeah, okay, I do want to protect you. But I want to protect all of my teammates. I just--I want you to know I'm always here for you, man. I know you can take care of yourself. But you don't have to handle everything alone." He tightened his hand a little, relishing the warmth of Reid's skin through his shirt and knowing he shouldn't be doing this. But God, how could he resist? "And I meant what I said. I'm not going anywhere. At least not like Gideon or your dad, I won't walk away from you." He pressed his lips together, staring at Reid with furrowed brow and willing him to believe. They both knew the realities of their job. They'd been in life-threatening situations time and time again. But Morgan would never willingly end their friendship. That much Reid had to believe.

"You can't promise that," Reid insisted, his words going quiet and rushed. "Or I don't want you to." A promise would only make things more painful when Morgan finally did move on. "Your life is going to change and so will mine. Neither one of us will work at the BAU our entire lives. It's unlikely we'll both still be there in a decade. You know what it does to people." He stopped himself from putting his hand on Morgan's, which was still resting on his shoulder, and he knew Morgan could probably feel the sudden tension in his body. "You're not my father, or my brother, or-- anything but my friend. When you leave the BAU, you're not going to stick around here just because genius boy will be lonely if you leave."

Morgan studied Reid's face, wishing he knew what was going on inside that mind. "Reid, we don't have to always work together to stay friends," he said finally. "Even if you and I aren't always partners, it doesn't change the fact that you're important to me, man. Hell, maybe you'll find something you want to do instead of profiling. Don't act like I'm gonna move on and leave you behind."

Friends. Partners. Nothing more. Reid shook himself mentally, but the emotion causing his heart to race and making him want to go drink didn't lessen. God, how did this go from the fear of the dark to this?! What else would I do? he thought, but just looked at Morgan and shook his head, his brows drawn into a pained frown. "Let's go out."

"Go out? Now?" Morgan tilted his head, trying to figure out what had just happened. He folded his arms across his chest. "You know, I really don't require alcohol every time we hang out." He tried for a light tone, hoping to imply he thought Reid was suggesting that for Morgan's sake, instead of as an escape.

In spite of Morgan's effort, Reid just sighed and looked away when his eyes prickled. He shook his head to himself and shoved his hands deeply into his pockets. "I should probably just go to bed," he muttered, though he knew if Morgan left, he would have a very hard time actually just going to bed.

"Hey, no." Morgan said, growing more concerned. "I am not leaving you like this, pretty boy." Oh, God, I gotta stop calling him that. "If you want to go out, we'll go out, but I'm not leaving you here alone." Not when I think you're going to be worse off than when I got here, and it's my fault somehow.

Reid glanced back at Morgan, knowing it would be better, safer, if he let Morgan stay with him. The funny thing about craving, though, was that it tended to blur the line between what you knew was best and what you wanted. "Morgan," he said, and sighed. "I'm tired." He needed to get away from these feelings he was having.

Morgan frowned at him. "And you're just gonna go to bed when I leave, is that it? Reid, talk to me, man. Please." He couldn't leave like this. How had they gone from Morgan freaking out to being okay to Reid being upset? Because you went and said something stupid, he reminded himself.

Reid's eyebrows lifted and he shook his head. "I don't want to talk," he said. "I want to be alone." He felt a little bad putting it like that, but Morgan didn't look like he had any intention of leaving.

Morgan put his hands on Reid's shoulders, trying to ignore the little spark that sent up his arms, and held Reid's gaze. "We don't have to talk, then," he said. "I'll just--sit here. You said...Reid, how do I know you're not kicking me out..." He didn't know a good way to ask this. There was no good way. "Are you gonna get fucked up as soon as I leave?"

Reid stared at Morgan, anger flaring. The idea that Morgan didn't trust him hurt, which was stupid, considering Morgan was right. He knew exactly what Reid was thinking, and why wouldn't he recognize that given their jobs? Still, there was a burn of hurt running through Reid, laced with anger that Morgan wouldn't just let him go make his own mistakes. "I want you to leave," Reid bit out, the anger obvious in his voice. He started through the apartment to show Morgan the door.

"Are you scared of having someone hold you accountable, Reid?" Morgan demanded, raising his voice without meaning to. "You are stronger than this! You can make it through without that stuff!" Just let me be here for you.

Tonight, I don't want to, Reid thought, and now Morgan had made him angry on top of how he had already been feeling. If anything, Morgan was now fueling Reid's desire to go lose his mind tonight. "Shouting at people always helps, doesn't it?" he said, an uncharacteristic sarcasm slipping from his lips, then his tone softened. "Morgan, please."

Morgan's eyebrows went up, but he took a slow breath and sighed, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Spencer..." He shook his head and sighed again. "I'm sorry. For whatever I said." He wanted to touch Reid, wanted to hug him until he admitted he couldn't do this alone--but he had a feeling if he even tried, Reid might hit him. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Reid looked up and met Morgan's gaze, frowning. Did Morgan really think he'd not come in? He'd told Gideon he'd never miss another plane, and he'd meant it. "Of course you will," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Morgan tilted his head a little, folding his own arms to keep from touching him. God, he was beautiful, and he was in pain, and Morgan just wanted to make it go away. "Spencer, you're not alone. Just...remember that." He turned away, heading for the door. He hated feeling this powerless. He wanted to hit something.

Reid just nodded, not really listening, and held the door.

Part Four