Current mood:	excited
Entry tags:	morgan/reid

Miles To Go Before We Sleep, Part One; Morgan/Reid
Title: Miles To Go Before We Sleep, Part One
Authors: innerslytherin and severity_softly
Pairing: Morgan/Reid
Rating: PG-13 this part (up to NC-17 for the entire fic)
Summary: After Reid goes off the rails in Texas, Morgan decides Reid needs a friend to support him through whatever he's going through. Several cases and "awesomely" bad sci-fi flicks later, they both realize "friendship" isn't exactly what they want...but sorting through the baggage that stands in the way of a closer relationship is more difficult than either of them expected. Starting immediately after "Elephant's Memory" and running beyond the end of "Lo-fi", this is a multi-chaptered, non-WIP fic.
Word count: this part, ~9100; overall, ~130K
Spoilers: Entire series - specifically Profiler, Profiled, The Big Game/Revelations, Elephant's Memory, In Heat, Tabula Rasa, and Lo-fi
Warnings: Overall: UST, references to past sexual abuse, drug use/references to past drug use
Notes: Written in RP format. Not currently AU, but it will be after season four starts, as we're writing our own ending to Lo-fi. :) A million thanks to mnemosyne_1 for being an awesome beta! :D


The jet had landed not too long ago. Everyone but Hotch had been silent during the flight, not saying what they knew Hotch had already addressed. When they got back to Quantico, Reid sorted a few papers on his desk and slung his bag over his shoulder, not really meeting anyone's gaze. The next Beltway Clean Cops meeting wasn't for another hour and a half, and he drew a deep breath and started for the door, his thoughts still unfocused, trying to think of a safe way to pass the time.

Morgan had been keeping an eye on Reid since...well, to be honest, he wasn't sure when he hadn't been keeping an eye on Reid. He'd always felt drawn to protect the kid, sometimes even from himself. And though he didn't usually admit it, he respected Reid's opinions on things. The impulse to keep an eye on Reid had grown more urgent in the past forty-eight hours, though, after the way he'd gone off the rails in Texas.

Seeing Reid heading for the door, Morgan shut his file folder and shoved the report into a drawer. It would wait. "That's it for me. See you all later," he said to the room in general. He grabbed his coffee off the desk and caught up with Reid. "Hey, wait up, kid."

The timing of Morgan's departure wasn't unexpected. Reid was never certain anyone on his team really understood him, but Morgan seemed to try more than the others, even if it was masked by pseudo-teasing like 'kid' and 'genius boy.' Reid turned around and glanced at Morgan, waiting for him to catch up. He offered a thin smile and started walking again, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. "I've, ah, already heard it, you know."

"Heard what?" Morgan said, lifting a hand to mess with Reid's hair and grinning at him. "That I'm almost out of coffee and need some company at Starbucks?"

Reid frowned and ducked his head, swatting at Morgan's hand too late and raking his fingers through his hair so it wasn't in his face anymore. "Yeah, that's exactly it," he said, not sure if he should be relieved or irritated that Morgan seemed to be placating him. He'd felt all right on the jet... good, even. If he had to do it all over again - walking up to Owen, putting himself between the boy and the team - he wouldn't change a thing. The quiet had grown heavy after a while, though, so he supposed the way Morgan was acting was better than silence.

Morgan studied Reid for a second, then his grin widened. Reid was going to be okay. Morgan was going to make sure of that. "C'mon, I'll buy you a cup of coffee." Reid talked to him more than he did the others, Morgan thought. It was up to Morgan to find a way through the walls Reid had built up. Somehow.

Reid glanced over at Morgan, his brows still lowered, to find that Morgan was still grinning at him. He knew right away that that expression meant he wasn't getting out of this. He liked Morgan, trusted him; he wouldn't have confided in Morgan if he didn't. Reid just hoped Morgan wasn't going to decide to lecture him once they got their coffee. "All right, fine," he said, his lips curling slightly, "but not Starbucks."

Morgan raised his eyebrows. "Okay, bossy boy, where are we going then?" he teased. He didn't care if it was Starbucks or a gas station convenience store. He just wanted more one-on-one time, where Reid might actually talk to him a little. He couldn't erase his mental image of a pre-adolescent Spencer Reid, smarter than was good for him but painfully naive, tied to a goalpost. And even if his high school years hadn't been as easy as Reid had thought, Morgan couldn't help feeling a little vicarious guilt.

Reid swallowed the words on the tip of his tongue before he started spouting the latest article he'd read on Starbucks fair trade policy, labor relations and anti-competitive tactics, and just let a small, crooked smile form on his lips at Morgan's words. "Bossy boy" was a new one. "Stafford," he answered. There was a little, independently owned coffee shop there that Reid frequented when he was home.

"Stafford, it is." Morgan gestured for Reid to go ahead of him out to the parking lot as Reid rattled off where exactly they were going.

The drive to the coffee shop was mostly silent, except for the quiet strains of The Joshua Tree in Morgan's CD player. Reid didn't make any protest about the music, which had Morgan wondering what kind of music Reid listened to. It was a strange thing. You could know someone better than your own family members and yet not know any of the important little details about their life. Reid dressed like an awkward geek, drank too much coffee, and didn't match his socks. But there was so much more to him than that, and Morgan wanted to know it all.

The silence was nice, comfortable, and not at all like the forced silence of before. When Reid first joined the team, he had been convinced Morgan was just like all the jocks he had known in school. Over time, however, Morgan's image had started to seem more and more like a defense mechanism, and there was no denying that Morgan, who was like Reid's school age tormentors in so many superficial ways, somehow managed to put Reid at ease. "It's right up here. Easy to miss," he said, leaning forward a bit in his seat and pointing as they drove down the street. When Morgan drove past it, Reid smiled at him. "Yeah, like that."

"Crap." Morgan found a place to turn around and headed back. "What am I looking for here, Reid? Does it have a--oh, there?" He flicked on his signal and found a place to park. Just like Reid to pick a tiny place like this that was impossible to find. But Morgan couldn't keep from smiling. Reid was a little high-maintenance, but he kept life interesting. "All right, they got anything good to eat here?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Reid said in a single breath, unfastening his seat belt and slipping out of the car. "I mean, there's no no-fat, half-caff, caramel macchiato frapuccino lattes, but there's, you know, real food," he added, giving Morgan a grin as he went inside the shop.

"Spencer!" a woman behind the counter called, and he gave her an awkward, waist-high wave and a tight smile before slipping into a booth on the opposite side of the cafe.

"Oooh, Spencer," Morgan murmured, grinning at Reid as he slid in across from him. "Come here often, do you? And looks like you've made some frieeends." He drew the words out teasingly, but he was intrigued. Did Reid like her, or was he intimidated by her? Or was it both? Morgan leaned forward in his seat, watching Reid's face.

Reid leaned over too, grimacing. "Shhh," he whispered. "I started coming here not too long after I moved here, and Angie's a little... well, she's sweet, but..."

"Sweet? Or sweet on Spencer?" Morgan said, his grin widening. He was careful to keep his voice low, though. It was one thing teasing the kid, but he didn't actually want to make him look bad in front of people he saw on a regular basis. He tilted his head, glancing at the girl, then back to Reid's face. "How long have you lived over here now, anyway?" He'd dropped Reid off a couple of times after work, but that was the closest he'd been to actually seeing where Reid lived. Then again, only Prentiss knew Morgan owned four properties, so he supposed they all kept their secrets.

"Ah, both," Reid said, frowning. "Unfortunately." He had started to say 'sweet, but oblivious,' if her persistence where Reid was concerned was any standard to judge her by. She was nice and pretty, but she was missing something--like Lila, who was also nice and pretty, but something Reid had ultimately decided not to pursue, even if he was probably lucky that someone like her might have ever wanted someone like him in the first place. "It's been... probably two years now. Close to that."

"You like it around here?" Morgan was interrupted when the girl came over to take their orders. He shrugged and looked at Reid. "What's the best thing here?"

"Ahh." That was an odd question, and Reid had to think for a moment, his brows drawing together. "It's close," he said, and then brightened, "Did you know that in 1995 paleontologist Joe Bachman found 110 million-year-old fossils of carnivorous dinosaurs here? Theropods, the 'beast-footed.' Some of the largest ones that ever walked the earth."

Morgan stared at him for a minute, then shook his head. "But do you like it here?" he asked. He looked up at the girl, who was still waiting. "Coffee, and...pie. You got cherry pie? Yeah, cherry pie." He gave her a charming smile, wanting her out of the way. It occurred to him that he usually liked to keep the pretty girls close, but he was more focused on Reid.

It occurred to Reid two seconds too late, when Morgan's expression went strange, that 'what's the best thing here?' was not a continuation of the previous question. "Ah, coffee and a grilled cheese," he said quickly, and cleared his throat when she left. "Yeah, I like it here."

"Dinosaurs? Seriously?" Morgan was tempted to laugh, but he held it in. That almost child-like enthusiasm was just another thing that made Reid...that drew Morgan to him. Maybe it was because Morgan had always played the tough guy, from the age of ten when he saw his father killed. Somewhere along the line, Morgan had abandoned child-like enthusiasm. He missed it. "What else do you like about this place?"

"Yeah, ah, Sauroposeidon was the largest one. They're, ah, the tallest dinosaurs known." Reid shifted a little, recovering from his misunderstanding. "Um, well, there's a lot of history here," he said, though he wasn't really sure if Morgan was interested. He wondered for a moment why Morgan was even asking. "My apartment's nice."

Morgan nodded. He felt at a loss suddenly, and was grateful when the girl came back with their coffee and promises that their food would be right out. "Do you ever miss Vegas?" he asked after a minute. He missed Chicago sometimes, but what he REALLY missed the most was his mother and sisters. He thought again of how difficult Reid's childhood had been and wondered if the younger man had any good memories of Vegas.

Reid glanced down at his coffee, staring at the black liquid for a moment. "I miss parts of it, I guess. I wish I saw my mom more often," he said, which was true and it not true. He loved his mom and felt guilty he wasn't around very much, but that didn't change that his mother was difficult to deal with, painfully so at times, and made him question his own sanity.

Morgan nodded again. "Yeah, I hate having my mom and sisters so far away," he agreed. He thought back to the brief encounters he'd had with Reid's mother. She'd seemed like an intelligent woman, aside from her illness. He couldn't imagine what it was like to have grown up with that. He still found it hard not to resent the fact that she'd been trying to deal with that on her own while Reid was growing up. Reid should have had a mother who realized her son was brilliant and different. He shrugged, trying to push the thoughts away. He didn't really have any right to think that way, after all. He didn't really know what it had been like.

Reid nodded, his thoughts about his mother shifting to Morgan's. It had been a bit of a shock to meet her, and then even more of a surprise when Morgan's sister knew Reid's name without him having to introduce himself. The memory made Reid's lips curl into a slow smile, though there were times Reid wondered if it were a good thing or a bad thing that Morgan talked about him at home. Reid wasn't sure bringing up Chicago and all they'd learned there was a good idea, though, and his smile went a little sad. "Thing is, I hate it and I don't." He looked up and gave Morgan an ashamed smile. "I mean, I know it's better... like this. For her. I can't take care of her. But... I know I should be there."

"Hey, you do what you can," Morgan said. He sipped at his coffee. "You said you write her letters all the time, right? And you go to visit her on vacations. Turned down a fantastic, thrill-filled tropical vacation with me and Elle to go see her." He hoped it wasn't a mistake to mention that. He knew Reid had felt guilty over not stopping Elle, but hopefully by now he was over that.

"I had to. She doesn't really have anyone else." Reid shrugged and took a drink of his coffee, thanking the waitress as she dropped his grilled cheese of at the table and waiting for her to leave after giving Morgan his pie. "You know the first day I was there I couldn't see her. I left her a book." He wasn't really sure why he was suddenly saying this, and stopped talking to pull the halves of his sandwich apart and take a bite.

Morgan nodded. It had to be hard to face. He took a bite of his pie, thinking. That case had ended up with Reid facing down a madman who had explosives strapped to his chest, and Morgan had been powerless to protect him. In fact, there had been all too many times that Reid had faced down unsubs armed with nothing but his mouth. Then again, that's a pretty powerful weapon. He found himself smiling faintly. "Families, man. You know, Des still asks about you. You must've made an impression on her when we were in Chicago." He took another bite of pie. He didn't like thinking about why they'd been there, but he was going to slam Reid with some personal stuff here in a minute, so he would give a little before he took a little.

Reid wasn't sure he should make a point to ask how they'd recognized him so easily in the first place. Though, truthfully, he always had sort of stuck out. "She does? Why? What does she ask?"

Morgan grinned. "Just the usual, how you're doing, if I'm being any nicer to you, that sort of thing." He gave Reid a teasing look. "I just tell her I'm always nice to you."

Reid snorted a laugh, but Morgan really was better than he used to be. Reid's eyebrows lifted and lowered in acknowledgement of Morgan's tone. "Yeah, always," he said, taking another bite of his food.

"Of course, I haven't told her what a reckless idiot you can be," Morgan said, keeping his tone conversational. He hoped Reid didn't get up and storm out on him.

Reid's smile slid off. He pursed his lips and stared at the table for a moment and then remembered his meeting and glanced up at the coffee shop clock. "Yeah, well, I told you I already heard it."

"I know you did," Morgan said. He kept his gaze on Reid's face, ignoring the way he was fidgeting. "And I'm gonna tell you now that if you ever knowingly throw yourself into a situation like that again, Hotch won't have time to fire you, because I'll kill you myself first." He clenched his jaw for a minute, remembering the awful rush of cold fear that had swept over him when he'd realized Reid had deliberately gone to face Owen by himself--and then again, when they'd arrived and he'd seen the kid out in the middle of the street. "I thought we were gonna lose you, man."

Reid crossed his arms and sat back in his seat, finally looking up to meet Morgan's gaze. "Yeah, great, I'll keep that in mind the next time some kid's about to get gunned down in front of me." He picked up his sandwich, but put it back down without taking a bite. "I couldn't-- I can't-- I had to."

Morgan sighed. "I know." He glanced away and shook his head. "I admire what you did, Reid. I do. I just can't stand the thought of having to watch you--" He didn't know how to finish that sentence. Put yourself in danger? Die? He just shook his head again.

Reid's brows furrowed in confusion. Morgan admired what he did, but was still upset about it? "What?"

"Hey, it took real conviction to stand up to Hotch like that, and you talked Owen into giving himself up without hurting anyone else. You stood by what you believed. I have to admire that." Morgan rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "It doesn't mean I don't want to deck you for scaring me like that." God, scaring me. He'd just admitted it, to Reid of all people. Then again, for whatever reason, Reid was the person he trusted most on the team.

It felt good to hear Morgan say all of that, and Reid nodded, not really knowing what to say. Morgan always worried about him; it was fairly obvious to anyone that really paid attention. Reid couldn't count the number of times Morgan had tackled him to the ground to get him out of harm's way. It was nice in a way, but Reid also always felt a little resentful of it, part of him thinking that Morgan doubted his ability to take care of himself. "We all put ourselves in danger every day."

Morgan frowned. "That's not what I mean, and you know it. You didn't have to do that by yourself, Reid. You don't ever have to do anything by yourself. We're a team for a reason." What he meant, of course, was Why couldn't you have asked me for help? He knew why, rationally. If Reid had explained his intentions to Morgan, Hotch would have sent the whole team, and things would have ended much differently. Morgan was sure of that. But it hurt that Reid still wouldn't turn to him for help.

Reid shook his head. "Yes, I did. Morgan, you know what would have happened if I'd done things differently. We've seen it happen before." He bit his lower lip and glanced at the clock again. "I'd do it all over again," he said. "We should probably head back. I have a... thing."

"A thing?" Morgan finished his pie, ignoring the rest of what Reid said. They were both right, as far as Morgan was concerned, and never mind that was impossible. "Hope she's pretty," he teased. He wasn't sure what why Reid had been late to the round table before they went to Texas, but he thought it was a good thing this time, so he didn't want to make too big a deal of it. Then again, Morgan was Morgan, and if he didn't say anything, it would be weird, too.

Reid swallowed the last of his coffee and flagged down the waitress for their check and a box for the uneaten half of his sandwich. "Hope it's a she, right?" he said, avoiding the real "thing" and recalling what Morgan had said after he'd been late to work after his last meeting. He snatched up the check and slid out of the booth to pay at the counter.

Frowning, Morgan drained his coffee and followed. He'd said he was going to buy. He wondered if his flippant remark that night had got under Reid's skin. "I just meant that I hope you were out having fun, that's all," he said, leaning against the counter and pulling out his wallet. "Let me, man."

"Oh," Reid said, having forgotten that Morgan had offered to buy. Reid had the money and Morgan didn't really need to pay, but he seemed to genuinely want to pay, so Reid handed the check over. "I'll get tip," he said, ignoring the rest of what Morgan had said to walk back to the table and leave some cash behind.

Morgan shook his head, but didn't protest. He paid the bill and then stood by the door, flipping his keys in his hand. When Reid caught up with him, he said, "You want me to drop you off anywhere?"

"Ah," Reid said, thinking on it. He wasn't sure Morgan would be able to tell what he was doing by the location, but then he wasn't sure, and he didn't really want Morgan to have to pick him back up after the meeting. He could get pretty much anywhere he needed to on the Virgina Railway Express anyway. "VRE?"

"Cool." Morgan unlocked his car and slid in behind the wheel, but he didn't start the ignition right away. He leaned an arm on the steering wheel, considering.

Reid fastened his seat belt and glanced over at Morgan. "What?"

Morgan shook his head, then shifted a little to look at him. "Spencer," he said slowly. "You know if you ever want to talk..." He trailed off, unsure what else to say.

Reid let his eyes drop to his hands, folded in his lap, and quirked his lips to one side. "Yeah, I know," he said quietly, though he wasn't really sure he wanted Morgan to know about his... whatever it was with Dilaudid. He knew Hotch knew and that the rest of the team knew something was wrong after he'd been kidnapped by Hankle, but the specifics still felt shameful. "I'm just working through something right now. I'll be fine."

Morgan blew out a short breath. "I know you will," he said. "You're always fine. I just...wish I could help." It had been frustrating to see Reid head down a self-destructive path, but Morgan had thought it was over. He'd thought Reid had beaten it. Then...Texas.

Reid offered Morgan a wry smile, thinking he wasn't always fine, and that that much was obvious. He didn't say it though. "It's something I need to do on my own."



*****



Morgan hadn't forgotten the conversation he and Reid had had, though he hadn't been entirely sure what he'd accomplished. He watched Reid over the next few days, wondering if their conversation changed anything. Whenever he caught himself wondering that, he had to laugh at himself. What, exactly, did he think it would change?

All the same, when he and Reid ended up being the last ones still in the office one evening, he found he couldn't keep his mind on his work. He kept watching Reid instead of filling out reports.

Reid wasn't oblivious to the dark gaze that kept falling on him lately. He normally didn't notice things like that, but after his talk with Morgan at the cafe, Reid couldn't help but catch it. He sort of wished it would stop because it was making him think things he really shouldn't think. It wasn't as though Reid had never looked at Morgan in ways he shouldn't, but that had been years ago, and Reid had since forced his eyes to stop wandering Morgan's way. It had helped, of course, that when Reid had first joined the team, it seemed that Morgan really did think he was just a kid, but now...

No, Reid told himself. This was just professional concern.

After a few minutes of trying to ignore it, Reid cleared his throat and glanced up at Morgan. "Something on your mind?" he asked, knowing full well there was.

Morgan shook himself, realizing that he'd been watching Reid openly. "When's the last time you did something fun?" he asked, which wasn't anything remotely like what he'd been thinking about, but it would do. Maybe he could talk Reid into ditching the paperwork until tomorrow. They could go out and get a burger and a beer or something.

"When was the last time I let JJ beat me at darts?" Reid asked. Not that he let JJ beat him; she would have beat him even if he had been focused on trying to win. He pushed his glasses up his nose (he hadn't fussed with his contacts this morning) and filed a few papers that had been scattered on the top of his desk.

Morgan pushed back in his chair and swivelled it back and forth. "Too long," he said. He couldn't remember, but it had been quite a while. "Let's go out. Grab a burger and a beer, take in some music or something."

Reid blinked at Morgan for a moment, wondering if they'd ever gone out, just the two of them, for anything other than coffee. He smiled and drained the last of the coffee at his desk before rolling back in his chair. "Sure I won't cramp your style?" he said, a slight lilt of teasing in his voice, though he sincerely hoped he wouldn't be going out with Morgan to watch him pick up girls.

"Nothing cramps my style," Morgan bragged, but he shook his head. "Hey, I'm not going to ask you to get a burger and then ditch you for some honey. You oughta know that." He couldn't promise he wouldn't flirt--that just came natural--but he remembered that about their conversation over coffee, too. He just didn't care to bother with the girls when he and Reid were actually talking.

Reid smiled, though he was hesitant, considering the thoughts he'd been having lately. "Ah," he said, and paused, glancing back at his desk. "I should probably finish up these reports."

"Oh, come on," Morgan said, tilting his head to one side and giving Reid his best winning smile. "All work and no play makes Spencer a dull boy."

Reid looked up, snorted, and then darted another look at his desk, as if it might magically provide another excuse. Morgan's smile was inviting, though, so Reid finally pushed from his chair and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Where to?"

"Doesn't matter to me, if you have a preference," Morgan said, his smile widening now that Reid had given in. He shut down his computer and stood up. "The Auld Dubliner? I'm on the bike today. You ever been for a ride on one?"

Reid nodded. "Yeah, that's fine," he answered, but he was preoccupied with the bike part. He wasn't sure whether the idea of flying down the road with little protection worried him, or the part where he would be pressed up against Morgan. He swallowed. "Ah, no... do you have another helmet?"

"Of course," Morgan said. He reached out and tapped Reid's temple. "Wouldn't want to do anything to damage that pretty head of yours. Come on." He headed out of the office, confident that Reid would follow. It had been too pretty a day to drive his sensible sedan. He was glad now, because he liked the idea of bringing out the adventurous side of Reid. The kid had to have one. Somewhere.

"Great," Reid said, though his tone said anything but. He followed Morgan out anyway and paused to stare at the bike. "So the 22 bones in my skull are safe, I just have the remaining 184 in the rest of my body to worry about shattering," he said, giving Morgan a nervous smile, then he remembered his bag. "Should I have left this back inside?"

"Reid, I'm hurt," Morgan said, pressing a hand against his heart. "Don't you trust me to drive safely?" He shook his head and grinned. "Put your bag on the luggage rack there. That one's your helmet."

Reid shook his head. "I trust you with my life," he said, and it was true. They had to trust each other that much to work together like they did. He squinted and looked up at the cars in the parking lot. "I don't trust them. The failure of motorists to detect and recognize motorcycles in traffic is the predominating cause of motorcycle accidents. Two-thirds of all motorcycle-vehicle accidents are caused by the driver of the passenger vehicle." He found himself putting his bag in the luggage rack and picking up "his" helmet anyway.

"We'll be all right." Morgan put his helmet on, then reached over to tap Reid's playfully. He got on, then jerked his head in an invitation. He was willing to lay money that Reid would love this, if he could make himself forget statistics and just ride.

Reid flinched at the knock to his helmet and then swallowed hard at the invitation. He could do this. He climbed awkwardly on the bike behind Morgan, hesitated for a moment, and then wrapped his arms around Morgan from behind. Oh god. "I might need something stronger than a beer when we get there. Where do I...?" He let go, leaning back, and glanced down. "Where do I put my feet?"

Morgan showed him, then tapped the exhaust. "Don't touch this, or you'll burn yourself." He sat up, then grabbed Reid's arm and pulled it a little tighter around his waist. "And hold on!" Morgan was a touchy-feely kind of guy, which was something he'd had to consciously work at after Carl, so he was always torn between feeling amused and feeling sympathy about Reid's physical shyness. But there was no room for that on a bike. He didn't want to lose his passenger, and Reid wouldn't know how to balance himself.

Reid got his feet up, and when he moved to hold on to Morgan cautiously, Morgan pulled him forward. Reid complied and locked his hands around Morgan's waist, then debated where to stick his chin before resting it really the only place he could, on Morgan's shoulder. "If you kill me, I'll never forgive you," he said, but he was starting to smile.

Morgan chuckled. "Relax, pretty boy, it'll be fine," he promised. "I'll be gentle with you." Grinning, he gunned the engine, just to poke at Reid's nerves, then he took off at a sedate pace through the parking lot. He stopped before they got to the main road and turned his head. "All right?" He didn't want to push Reid too far, but from how easily the other man had given in, Morgan thought Reid wanted to be pushed a little.

Reid sucked in a sharp breath, his arms cinching around Morgan tighter when Morgan gunned the engine. Not for the first time, he wondered why Morgan's teasing didn't still bother him, but then they started moving and his arms went tighter still, his heart speeding against his ribs. "Yeah," he breathed at the stop.

"Reid? All right?" Morgan asked again, hoping he hadn't given him a heart attack.

Oh, right. Motorcycles were loud, even if Reid's mouth was right at Morgan's ear. Reid cleared his throat. "Um, yeah," he said, louder than before.

"Right, hang on!" Morgan told him, and they pulled out onto the open road. Man, he loved the feel of the wind tugging at him, and the warmth of someone at his back was always nice. Motorcycles were popular with the ladies, so he never had to work for company--but somehow it was better, knowing that was Reid hanging on to him. Morgan was sharing a part of himself and Reid seemed okay with that. On an impulse, Morgan flicked on his turn indicator and switched lanes, then turned, taking the long way around to the bar.

The first few minutes on the bike, Reid had to force himself not to bury his face against Morgan's shoulders each time they passed a car, but eventually his heart settled into a more steady rhythm. One that was much faster than normal, but it was okay. When Morgan turned, Reid was actually brave enough to look off toward where they had been headed and not stare straight ahead as if moving would throw them off balance. He lifted a finger to point, which was about as far as he would go to take a hand off Morgan, but then decided Morgan probably realized they were going out of the way.

Morgan's grin widened. He lowered one hand to pat Reid's arm briefly in acknowledgement. "Just go with it, Reid!" he yelled, and sped up a little, enjoying the freedom and liking the fact that he had good company.

"Go with what?" Reid called as they took another turn and his stomach swooped in a not entirely unpleasant way. He suddenly laughed at the idea of doing anything but going with it. "If I don't go with it, I die! Do you not put your life in danger on a regular enough basis?" he yelled above the roar of the engine and the rushing of the wind. It occurred to him that it felt good to be touching Morgan like this, his body moving against Morgan's as they went. It also occurred to him that this was the last situation in the world he needed to get hard - not that he could given that his life was currently in danger. He flattened a hand unconsciously on Morgan's stomach.

"But with this, I'm in control!" Morgan called back. The sound of Reid's laughter in his ear was enough to make his grin widen. He didn't hear that often enough. Reid should laugh more. Hell, he should smile more. Morgan wondered if it was odd that he wanted to be the one to make Reid smile. He sucked in a startled breath at the way Reid's hand flattened against his stomach, but he couldn't say he disliked it. It was a pleasant spot of heat through his t-shirt.

Reid relaxed a little more against Morgan - well, as relaxed as he could manage - and tried to steady his breath for more than one reason. He couldn't say he liked riding, but there was something freeing about it that he could understand. There was something freeing in Dilaudid too. "How are you in control?!" he gasped, then started to repeat what he'd said earlier, "Two-thirds of all motorcycle-vehicle accidents are caused--!"

"'I never drive faster than I can see!'," Morgan called back, wondering if Reid would be able to identify the quote. "'Besides that, it's all in the reflexes!'" He grinned and eased back on the throttle, slowing a little, then took them carefully around a corner. It definitely wouldn't impress Reid if Morgan got pulled over for exceeding the speed limit. Wait, is that what I'm trying to do? he wondered, and then dismissed it. He was just trying to help Reid have a good time, that's all. Relax a little.

Reid shook his head at that, but felt a little more at ease when Morgan slowed down. "Forgive me if the logic of Jack Burton fails to sooth my nerves!" he called, his fingertips pressing into Morgan's stomach. God, he was never going to forget how this felt, but probably not for any of the reasons Morgan would want Reid to like it.

Morgan laughed and slowed a little more. "Come on, Reid, loosen up a little," he said, but he was actually pleased that Reid felt a little more relaxed against him. He'd been entirely too tense at the beginning of the ride.

Reid laughed again and tightened his arms around Morgan more, fitting his body a little more snugly against Morgan without doing anything stupid, which was something he kept reminding himself not to do since he'd realized how much he liked the feel of this. "This might be about as loose as I get flying around like this."

That was an intriguing statement. And probably true, Morgan thought. "I'll add that to my list of accomplishments for the day," he said, and slowed to a stop for a traffic signal. He was almost sorry they were nearly at the bar. He liked making Reid laugh like this. The Duc's engine grumbled about standing still as Morgan steadied them with a foot. "You're doing fine."

Reid wondered if he ought to sit back while they were at a stop, but he didn't, he just let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Thanks," he said breathlessly. "Next time we take the Metro." Next time? He shook himself. This was just Morgan looking after him again. Once they got through a few cases that didn't send Reid into fits, it would go right back to how it was before. The thought sobered him a little.

Next time? Morgan grinned. He liked the sound of that. Maybe Reid would come out of his shell again. He just needed a little time away from the team, time to get out of his own head. "Next time maybe I'll teach you how to drive it," he countered. Not that he would be willing to do that right away. The Duc was too much motorcycle for anyone to handle on their second time. Then again, he seriously doubted Reid would take him up on it. The light changed and they took off. Morgan got lucky and hit green lights the rest of the way to the bar.

Reid was about to say that there was no way he was going to drive the bike. The thing probably outweighed him by a couple hundred pounds, and he was perfectly fine riding behind Morgan. Morgan took off before he could say anything , so Reid just kept quiet, enjoying the wind against his face and Morgan's warmth against his chest for the remaining time they had on the bike.

When they got to the bar, he slipped out from behind Morgan to the pavement, having to brace himself on Morgan's shoulder briefly because the ground beneath him still felt like it was moving, but he managed a small smile anyway.

Morgan pulled off his helmet, lifting his other hand to steady Reid. "Admit it, you liked it." He was smiling broadly at the expression on Reid's face.

Reid let out another steadying breath and pulled open the snap on his own helmet. "It wasn't quite as terrifying as it should have been," he conceded, pulling his helmet off, which sent his hair falling in an even more untidy than usual pile and his glasses slipping down his nose. He caught them and pushed them back up, then shoved his fingers through his hair once to settle it.

Morgan laughed. "What a concession. Thanks, Reid." He watched Reid for a moment, sort of liking the way he looked all disheveled. Realizing he was staring, he shook himself, then turned and led the way into the bar.

"No problem," Reid said, and followed Morgan into the bar where he slipped into the booth after Morgan.

Morgan snagged them a booth and flagged down a waitress with an easy grin, and Reid ordered a Smithwick's and fish and chips from the waitress and waited for Morgan to order. Morgan went for a burger and, after a moment's thought, went with Smithwick's as well. He settled back in his seat, watching Reid. It was probably stupid, but he felt as if he and Reid were becoming real friends instead of just coworkers and partners. Cop thinking, he reminded himself. You're part of a team. He's not your partner. But he'd never been able to shake the thought that he and Reid were partners. They bounced ideas off each other, and together they usually came up with better stuff than they did separately. Not that Reid really needs much help from me, he thought wryly.

"I'm glad you came with me," he said, giving Reid a warm smile.

Reid had been forming as many different words as possible from the few on the beer mat in front of him as he could while Morgan ordered, but he glanced up when Morgan spoke. He smiled almost self-consciously at Morgan's statement. "Any time," he said, though he wondered what had made Morgan say that. Reid knew he wasn't the best company, but he was fairly certain that expression on Morgan's face was genuine.

Morgan's smile widened. "I'll hold you to that, genius." He tapped his fingers against the edge of the table, trying to think of something to say. Finally he settled on, "So are you a fan of Kurt Russell, or John Carpenter? Or weird kung-fu sci-fi flicks?" He'd bet it was the last option, but it was a topic of conversation, anyway. God, there was so much he didn't know about this guy who was one of the most important people in his life.

Reid's smile went a little more natural. He thanked their waitress when she dropped off their drink, and took a long sip of his beer. "Mmm," he hummed around the liquid. "The last one, though really not even that specific. Cult movies, the 'worse,' the better. Well, the awesomely bad and the underrated, really," he said.

Morgan laughed and sipped his drink. "All right, give me some examples. Just how awesomely bad are we talking?"

Reid frowned in thought, his fingers working in the air for a moment as he mentally thumbed through some of the absolute worst movies in his own collection. "Ah, okay, 1985's The Stuff! Written and directed by Larry Cohen, writer of such gems as, ah, It's Alive and Maniac Cop." He glanced up when the waitress brought their food. "Thanks," he said, and then turned right back to Morgan. "'It's smooth and creamy. It's low calorie and delicious. And it kills! It's The Stuff!'"

He grabbed the bottle of malt vinegar in front of him and liberally dosed his fish, glancing up to see if he'd lost Morgan yet. The last time he remembered talking to Morgan about the Death Star, Morgan had walked away on him.

Reid was cute when he was lost in thought. Morgan's eyebrows went up and he shook his head. Where had that thought come from? But then Reid got hyper-excited about the movie, and he grinned. "It sounds frighteningly bad." He sipped his beer again. "What is the Stuff, anyway?" He took a bite of his burger.

"It's this yogurt-marshmallow-ice creamy stuff that some miners discovered seeping up out of the ground, and naturally when you find something oozing out of the ground, what do you do first? You eat it, right?" Reid grinned and took a bite of his fish, gauging Morgan's reaction to determine if he should keep talking.

Morgan snorted. "Oh, yeah, that's my first reaction. Maybe the Stuff didn't kill them. Maybe they died of stupid." He sipped his beer, liking that grin on Reid's face. It made him wonder if he should have done this years ago, or if they'd needed all this time to get to the point where they could open up to each other.

Reid laughed, surprised Morgan was still on board. "A combination of the two," he said. "Anyway The Stuff becomes this national food craze, but it starts turning people into sort-of-zombies and killing people. It's a little like The Blob at points, except edible and delicious, and it's up to one kid and an ex-FBI agent to end the madness."

"A kid and an FBI agent." Morgan gave Reid a flat stare, then laughed. "Well, kid, sounds like a bad movie with a good ending," he teased.

Reid nodded and smiled. "Honestly, one of the better bad movies ever made," he said, and then swallowed the proposition that they should watch it together sometime. God, Morgan was one of his team members, not a date!

"It gets worse?" Morgan grinned. "I must be a glutton for punishment. You've almost made me want to see it." He tilted his head. "Tell me the truth, number one reason you like watching them. You like picking apart the science?"

"What science? It's killer yogurt." Reid took another bite of his food. "Some of them, yes, I do, but the last time I delved into that, I lost you." He shrugged, then chewed thoughtfully before cautiously adding, "I own it, if you decide you really want to see it."

Morgan tilted his head. Not for the first time, he wondered if he went too far sometimes when he teased Reid. "So next time, I'll bring the beer, you bring the movie," he said, giving Reid a lazy smile. "Especially if there's no science to explain in this one." He winked.

Oh, Morgan was going to think Reid was even more of a geek if he came over for a movie and saw Reid's apartment. He smiled, though he was starting to wonder what exactly was going on. That expression on Morgan's face was different, and now they were talking about getting together to watch bad movies. And after that motorcycle ride... well, he and Morgan had never been close like that before, now that Reid thought about it. He gazed at Morgan thoughtfully for a moment, still smiling faintly. "I promise, no science lectures."

"Perfect." Morgan took a long drink, watching Reid appraisingly. He wasn't sure why he was so drawn to Reid, or why he usually took it out in the form of teasing. For that matter, he wasn't sure why Reid kept confiding in him. He didn't think he'd earned that, and trust, in Derek Morgan's world, was something to be earned. After a minute, his lips quirked in a smile and he turned his attention back to his plate.

Reid nodded and turned back to his own plate, his thoughts circling in his mind. He let the conversation drop off for a while as they ate, though it was a comfortable silence. When he got to his last piece of fish, he broke a bit of the batter off and popped it into his mouth, then glanced back up at Morgan. He leaned in and whispered, "But seriously, George Lucas said it took nineteen years to build the first death star, but if you look at the chronology..."



*****



Morgan stuck his head in Garcia's office, knocking on the door as he did. "Hey, sugar, anything exciting in the world of government hacking?"

Garcia didn't turn around at first. She finished typing out the last bit of code she was working, her eyes momentarily glued to the screen. "Oh, honey, there's always something exciting going on when I'm here."

Morgan grinned. "Of course there is, how could I forget?" He leaned in the doorway, watching her work. "I'm headed out for dinner. What I should have asked is, anything more exciting than me going on in the world of government hacking?"

Garcia smiled, finished what she was doing, and then turned around in her chair. "I'm not sure that's even possible," she told him, and glanced at her desk. What she was working on could wait, and she and Morgan hadn't done anything since he'd gotten back from Texas. "Regardless, for you, I can always make time."

"That's good to hear," Morgan said, laughing. "You pick, and I'll buy." He'd always liked the easy flirtation between them, because he knew it was safe. She wasn't looking for someone like him, and he wasn't looking for anyone. And the best part, of course, was that they were comfortable together. He knew he could talk to her, if he needed to. For a man who was used to women wanting him, it was nice to find a woman who liked him.

Garcia grinned at him and snatched up her purse. "Almost like a real date," she said. "Don't worry, I won't tell Kevin." She squeezed his cheeks gently when she got to him. "Curry. What was that place in Woodbridge?"

Morgan laughed. "Taste of Tandoor? You got it." He slid an arm around her shoulders, walking with her. "And do you really think I'm scared of Kevin, mama?" he teased. He actually liked the guy, though he wasn't sure what Kevin thought of Morgan's relationship with Penelope.

Garcia slid her arm around Morgan's waist, beaming up at him. "Never underestimate the power of a hacker, love. You can do more damage with a few keystrokes than you can with a gun. Of course, not of the physical variety, but that's beside the point." She gave him a little squeeze. "Am I driving?" If he thought she was suffering helmet hair for him, he had another thing coming.

"You're saying he could destroy my credit and my reputation, is that it?" he said. "Come on, you really want a keyboard-wielding man instead of me and my Ducati? My heart's broken."

"Try duct tape," Garcia said, "fixes everything."





When they were settled at the restaurant and had placed their orders, Morgan leaned back in his seat, watching her. "So tell me what's new with you. Why are you speaking Italian at us all of a sudden?"

"Kevin lo vuole..." Garcia shook her head. That wasn't right. She snorted and took a sip of her Coke. "Kevin has this crazy idea that I work too much."

"You're kidding. Where would he get that idea?" Morgan leaned in on the table. "You do work too much, baby girl. And then you volunteer on top of that? I have to agree with the fabulous Mr. Lynch on this one."

Garcia sighed and sat back in her chair, waving a hand dismissively. "You would all be lost without your goddess of all things that can and will be known. Besides, I hate feeling left out."

"Aw, sweetness, you know we'd be lost without you, but you can't wear yourself out." Morgan caught her hand in his and patted it. "This job takes its toll on people. You're no exception."

She couldn't help but give him a tiny pout, but after a moment she sighed. "I know." Which reminded her of something else. "How's Reid?"

Morgan kissed her knuckles before letting her hand go, then sat back and sighed. "He's doing okay." He didn't want to betray Reid's confidence, but they all worried about him. Not to mention he hadn't really said anything, just that he was working through things on his own. He thought of the last time they'd gone out, the way Reid had clung to him in thinly-masked anxiety, and grinned. "I'm not sure if he likes my bike any more than you do."

"Honey, I love your bike, but do you think this look just happens?" Garcia asked, pointing at the messy buns on either side of her head. She remembered how neat Reid used to look when she'd first met him, and how disheveled she'd come to expect him to look now. Not that he didn't pull it off in his own odd way, but it was interesting. "What's his excuse?"

"For not liking it?" Morgan laughed. "Two-thirds of all vehicle-motorcycle accidents are caused by the driver of the other vehicle. A failure of the motorist to properly register the presence of the motorcycle, I think he said." He shook his head, remembering how much he'd enjoyed making Reid loosen up like that. He needed to invite him out again--except he was sort of waiting to see if Reid would ever approach him. He didn't want to put too much pressure on Reid.

"Ah, of course, how could I have forgotten?" Her lips quirked a bit and she thanked their waiter when he brought their food. "At least I know I haven't been seeing much of you for a good reason," she added, thinking she wasn't very far off base in assuming that Morgan was trying to keep an eye on Reid.

Morgan shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious at having been caught caring about someone. Which was stupid, because everyone on the team had to know how much he cared about Reid. He cared about everyone on the team, but he'd felt protective of Reid for years. Morgan picked on Reid, sure, but only Morgan was allowed to pick on him. "I just keep hoping he'll talk to me."

Garcia pushed her food around on her plate until she'd scooped up the perfect bite of curried chicken and rice. "He's not talking about it?"

"He talked to me some in Texas. But mostly I'm just..." He trailed off, then shrugged. "Trying to show him I'm not going to vanish like Gideon did." He tried not to sound bitter about that, but he was still trying to forgive Gideon for running away, for leaving Reid a letter and nothing else.

Garcia smiled at him sadly. It seemed like so long ago that Gideon left to her, but for Reid, given his history and his memory, it was probably still fresh. "You're a good friend."

"Ah." He waved off the compliment. They all looked out for each other. He thought of the way the team had come to Chicago, thought of the way Reid had profiled him...but he couldn't be angry about it any more. No one had brought it up since then, and no one treated him any differently. Still, he knew that if he wanted to talk about it, any of them would listen. Reid would listen.

He took a bite of food, then sat back in his chair. "So Kevin wants to sweep you away to Italy, huh?" he asked, hoping they could close the subject of Reid. He didn't have any answers, and the more he thought about it, the more frustrated he got, these days.

A giddy smile bloomed on Garcia's face before she could stop it. "He does." She took another bite of her food and grinned at Morgan. "I'll think of you when I'm at the..." She paused to think about pronunciation, then made a big show of her mediocre Italian accent. "Marostica piazza degli scacchi."

Morgan laughed, shaking his head. "Oh, mama, I'm pretty sure you're not gonna be thinking of anyone but Kevin Lynch." He smiled at her. "Be sure he treats you right. You're my princess, and if he hurts you, I'll kill him."

"And you could make it look like an accident too, I know. I'll remind him," Garcia said, grinning. Her expression softened after a moment. "I don't think you have to worry about that, though."

He suppressed an eye-roll. "I hope not." He turned his attention to his food, trying not to grin at the sappy expression on her face. She had it bad.

Garcia glanced up and cleared her throat, recovering from her momentary lapse. "Besides, if he hurts me, I know one hundred and seventeen ways to make men suffer without killing them."


Part Two