outerspacenic ([info]outerspacenic) wrote in [info]clean_n_sober,
@ 2008-05-05 23:09:00
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So I ended up getting buzzed before going to a meeting today (due to a social anxiety) but I just had to scope it out...and I think I'm ready to quit drinking now.

I hope I can keep it up...my problem is that once things kind of settle down a bit, I end up drinking again to create drama...but I guess that implies that things aren't actually okay, because if they were I wouldn't have to do that.

I want to stop being afraid of success.

What helped tonight I think was seeing a bunch of younger people at the meeting, especially younger women.

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[info]elgoose
2008-05-06 04:31 pm UTC (link)
Good luck. I think you'll find that in the long run, not getting high before meetings works better. All alcoholics have social anxiety. It's characteristic of the disease of alcoholism. If you truly are alcoholic -- and only you can say if you are or not -- you are no different than anyone else in the meetings. They've been where you are. If you try to hold yourself apart and tell yourself you're different, it could kill you.

I got sober when I was twenty. It can be done.

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[info]witchtownbum
2008-05-08 05:41 pm UTC (link)
I know exactly what you mean about "getting buzzed to kill your anxiety" because I have a wicked case of social anxiety and being clean really seems to bring it out. I don't like alcohol anymore because i gravitated to an anxiety killing substance that was more major and immediate...but it's no good. Idont know how you feel about meds but when I was on klonopins, I surprisingly didn't abuse them and they worked really well.

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