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[26 Nov 2009|10:10am] |
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very long 30 days sober :]
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| HELLO |
[03 Nov 2009|02:55am] |
MY NAME IS JADE BUT EVERY1 IN PRISON CALLS ME BABY JADE N MOST RESENTLY QUEEN JADE.. I NO MOST Y'ALL PROLLY THINK I B FRONTIN CUZ DAT U THINK DAREZ NO POSSIBLTY DAT SOME1 DATS IN PRISON CULD B ON LIVEJURNAL.. N U NO WHAT I DUN BLAME NE OF U 4 IT..
BUT YEA I BEEN IN PRISON SINSE 1999 4 ARMED ROBBERY IN DA 1ST DEGREE WIT ATTEMPTED MANSLAUTER..MY ORIGINAL SENTANCE WUZ 30 YRS WIT A 10 YR MAX.. SO BASICLY I BEEN IN PRISON SINSE I WAS 18.. I WAS SMOKING ALOT OF CRACK WIT MY CUZZIN JENE BACK WHEN WE WAZ TIGHT N ROLLD 2GRTHER.. I GOT REAL HARD IN2 METH N HERION N DAT IS Y I ROBBED A BANK N TRYED 2 KILL DA MANAGER N 3 OF HIS WORKERS CUZ DEY WUZNT GIVIN ^ DA CHEDDA!!! NOW I LOOK < N REALESE HOW STOOPIDD I WAZ BUT NWO IVE ADAPTED 2 DA PRISON LIFESTYLE SO ITS GONE B HARD ONCWE I GET PAROLL DATS IF I GET PAROL..
WELL GOT2 GO CUZ WERE SAPPOSED 2 B IN BED BUT WEN I GET OUT I WANA GO 2 ALOTTA MEETINGS. SRY 4 MY BAD GRAMMER I JUST NOT VRERY SMART..
O N WE HAVE R OWN MEATINGS HERE N DEY HELP US BC PPL FROM DA OUTSIDEV COME HERE 2 SHARE BOUT DEMSELVES N WHUT DEY WENT THRU SO ITS NICE 2 NO DAT DARE AINT 1 PERSON IN DA WORLD DAT AINT GOIN THRU EXACTLY WHAT IM GOIN THRU RITE NOW..
GOODNITE IL WRITE MORE 2MOROW.. PLEASE AD ME 2 UR FRENDZ CUZ I 1T SUM 4 WHEN I GET PAROL..
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| So I've been clean |
[24 Oct 2009|10:30am] |
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from Meth for five years now. Sad thing is I'm only eighteen. I was doing fine for the last two years, but I recently started doing ecstacy again, and it's giving me flashbacks and now withdrawals. I know I should probably seek help and counseling, but what can someone do for a person that hasn't used in so long? I feel hopeless and lost, and I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
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[22 Oct 2009|01:25pm] |
I kind of sort of slipped up, although I don't really count it as meaning I have to start counting days I've been sober again. I haven't had a lick of alcohol and that was/is my main problem.
I just had a severe ... let's call it "episode" this morning (I'm being treated for depression, anxiety, pmdd, and hypothyroidism). I took three pills because I couldn't handle it (all my prescriptions, although I'm probably not supposed to mix them). .5mg of the following: clonazepam, alprazolam, lorzaepam, all at the same time. I'm fucking weak.
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| Day 3 |
[06 Oct 2009|09:21am] |
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Good Morning, my name is Jim, and I need to give and get some help. I believe with the new group I have stared going to and a little virtual help I can stay clean and sober. That is really all for now. I look forward to reading about this community.
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| Hi, I'm new... |
[04 Oct 2009|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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Cleanse song - Bright Eyes |
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...I guess I started living without narcotics for a year or so, with many slip ups inbetween. I can't exactly say "I've been completely sober for a year."
So I guess I should say somthing about myself.
I'm 18, my drug of choice is cocaine, I've been to detox a couple of times, I've overdosed.... I've tried every drug that I could get my hands on...
The major thing that kept me from doing drugs just walked out of my life. He was a recovering cocaine addict also... so now I really feel like I have no "rock."
So I guess I'm just looking for support now, and obviously it would be nice to have someone who can relate, rather than someone, let's say... like my parents.
Congrats to everyone recovering, and congrats on all your sober birthdays. I look up to you.
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| Anniversary |
[03 Oct 2009|08:48pm] |
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My sobriety birthday is Sept. 13, 1990. I now have over 19 years clean 'n sober. The only thing that bugs me is that I have not been able to get to a meeting to get my chip. That's cuz I am now stuck in a wheelchair and can't drive anymore. Anyway, happy birthday to me. :)
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[05 Sep 2009|10:38am] |
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I am looking for a sponsor that I can talk to and work the steps with. I have exhausted my search in my area and am looking for something long distance.
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| Hi. |
[03 Aug 2009|12:12pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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Hi. um... I'm a new member here, and my name is Catherine. Brief history: I'm 17 and have been addicted to narcotics for 2 years. Then, after those were cut off by my parents, I was "forced" I guess to resort to alcohol. I've been going through outpatient rehab for about a month now and my first NA meeting was last Thursday.
I was doing good until I realized the benefits of taking Benadryl... :[ About a week ago, I began a little relapse-ish thing with that. The thing is, Benadryl doesn't come up on urine drug tests, so no one's going to find out about this unless my parents notice that the Benadryl is gone or unless I tell somebody. The first is more likely to happen, and if it does, I would just about be massacred into next Friday. Rightfully so, I might add... But, right now, I don't know what I should do. I'm not addicted to them (i don't even think that benadryl is addictive), and I could stop if I wanted to, but, there's also this stuff called ~Seroquel~ that I like, too, that I take on occasion, and I took that for the first time in a while last night. I seem to be going downhill pretty fast here and I really don't know wtf to do. I start college in a month, and I wanted to be straight for that because, obviously, you've got all of these insane temptations like EVERYWHERE and I wanted to be able to say "no" to them, but by the looks of things, I don't know if I'll ever be able to be clean. Does anyone have any hope out there?? Seriously. I even feel like my mind is slowly depleating with every hit- like my hallucinations get worse, things don't comprehend as easily, etc. I don't want to be this way for the rest of my life...
-Catherine
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[02 Aug 2009|05:10pm] |
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I have 5 years sober today :)
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[31 Jul 2009|02:16pm] |
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~the jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be. But for all I may become, I will close my eyes and leap! ~ M.C. Hershey
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[29 Jul 2009|09:09am] |
hello, new member here.
i joined because i was curious about a method of treating alcoholism, involving LSD. I have read (here: http://www.psychedelic-library.org/staf42.htm) of shockingly effective results from the administration of just a single dose of LSD to serious alcoholics. Has anyone heard of this?
The reasoning behind why it works makes perfect sense to me, but I can still foresee resistance. The idea is essentially this. A major factor in overcoming alcoholism is "hitting rock bottom": alcoholism leading you to moments of extreme despair where you suddenly can't. fucking. live! like this anymore. LSD, through its obvious effects, could "lower the bar", so to speak, for such a realization by bringing that despair out to the surface. In various independent clinical trials, LSD seemed to produce the range of common experiences that lead people to quit drinking: finding God, discovering the root of your problem, finally realizing the full extent of the pain you're causing friends and family, et cetera. Possibly all of the above in some cases. I'm experienced with psychedelics, if not alcoholism, and I can relate to this angle. If done right, at a relatively low dose, possibly in the midst of an existential crisis over one's problems, i see how LSD could be an important tool in unlocking one's problems and understanding addiction. So my question, beyond simply trying to proliferate this possibly invaluable treatment, is: has anyone had personal experience with this working?
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[29 Jul 2009|10:10am] |
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Failure can NEVER overtake me if my determination to succeed is STRONG enough.... ..Og Mandino
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| 90 days |
[29 Jul 2009|08:35am] |
Ninety days clean and sober!! Over 6 months no cigs.
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| Individual |
[27 Jul 2009|06:01pm] |
Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual; you
have an obligation to be one.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
When we were using alcohol and other drugs, we often thought that we were
different from others. We secretly thought that no one could understand us.
Maybe we tried to be one of the group, but we were lonely.
Now we know for sure - we are different from others. Everyone's unique. We
all have this in common. Being like others helps us feel safe and normal.
But we need to feel good about the ways we're different from others too. We
think a little different, act a little different, and look a little
different from anyone else. We each have our own way to make life better for
others.
Action for the Day
Today, I'll make a list of the things I'm good at. I'll think about how I
can use these gifts.
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| day three of being single after five years --83 days clean and sober |
[22 Jul 2009|08:57pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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I walk from room to room in a stupor
things I never thought about are there
I realize how much we had acquired
tears roll as I feel my dispair
the computer that had brought me such comfort
that had filled my lonely hours with fun
I turn now and walk away from it
for right now it gives me no where to run
I hug my cat and I talk to him
I thank him for loving me so much
reality hits me that his truly mine
I am thankful I can reach out to him and touch
the girlfriend of many years must be worried
for I have not replied to her informative call
the pain is too hard to explain to her
so I decide not to call at all
I look to the sky and the clouds
I walk around the house outside in dispair
I drop to a chair and close my eyes to the world
doesn't matter that the sun is not there
--------------------------------------------------
ok I know I'm no poet but thats what I do for self help....gosh I am so fighting the urge to get drunk and drown my sorrows. my s. o. of five years has decided we are now just friends. also been without a cig for 6+ months and I could die for a pack. and a big fat joint. I pray for the strenght to stick to my goals. all I do is cry. he was my world for five years and I'm old and tired. at 53 it's hard to think of starting over. I want to just give up .
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| i cant believe |
[22 Jul 2009|07:40pm] |
i really cant believe iam so upset over this girl right now,
ive spent lots of time with her in thepast 2 or so months. i work with her, we have been workin at the same time so i take her to work and pick her up. she abruptly just started acting like it wasnt unusuall that she wasnt getting a ride from me anymore and not talkin to me that much. She had a bf i think she still does i dunno sometimes i dunno about that part. Whatever truth is there doesnt tatally help how i feel right now. I didnt realize that i was truely falling for this girl until she didnt call me anymore. Dam, she was my drug of choice for this while. No shes gone and that hole is there, she doesnt need me and i want her, i totally know she isnt a girl i actually want as a gf. yet i was just happy knowing that i was getting together with her everyday. we went out alot, it was always all good.. now im sad and it sucks.. i hate..
how soes this apply to me and how i need to get myself together..
i ben sober for 2 yrs and im lonely and unhappy
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| Hello Everyone |
[22 Jul 2009|11:27am] |
I wanted to write a brief entry here to introduce myself, and, hopefully get more people to write :)
I am 11 years sober, and, have recently dove head first back into AA. I was "dry" and away from the program for 4-5 years. When I look back on it now, I see how a direct and linear slide towards chaos and unhappiness resulted when I stopped working a recovery program with AA. It's just that simple.
I am nearing the end of doing 90 meetings in 90 days, and, I feel like a completely different person. I look back to where I was 90 days ago, and, I honestly can't even compare the two states of being. I got a sponsor, am doing step work, have a sponsee, and have just begun taking them through the steps as well.
It's not complicated, just do what this program says.
I am so lucky to be where I am. So many friends, family members, and other I have known have not been as fortunate as me to find sobriety. I am grateful. Only by the grace of god (which I'm still figuring out) am I here. It has nothing to do with my decisions... when I run the show, I end up in chaotic, sick, toxic, and unhealthy situations. Perhaps you know what I'm talking about?
Anyway, I hope to offer what I can, in this digital forum, and, hopefully find a piece of serenity here on my livejournal friends page.
Looking forward to talking with you!
-Brady
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