| Family Bonding is Messed Up and Handcuff Pedophiles |
[Aug. 27th, 2008|09:55 pm] |
I've come to realize that there are many things that make everyone's family messed up, but because I spend most of my time with my family, I tend to realize only the things that are messed up with my family. For instance, one thing that's messed up is my family is the way that we bond. With my mom, I watch HBO specials with lots of sex, drugs, language, and violence while with The Male Parent and I bond with costume making, painting, and discussing the best bands of the 60s and 70s. Then there's my uncle where bonding for us is yelling out at girls as we drive by, mortifying any passengers in the car at the time and of course talking with my Grandpa about sports and the Holocaust to avoid talking to my mom's cousin at a family birthday party. Good times, eh?
Anyways, my mind decided to go through this because I was bonding with my mom, watching the show Weeds on Showtime rented from VideOrama, and we had one of those moments while in mid-bonding mode one of us has to say something to make the other person go 'what?' and ours just so happened to be on the last episode of Season One where it turns out 'surprise!' the conservative mom's overweight daughter is crushing on a cute Asian girl and she catches them kissing. However, it turns out that the Asian girl thought that they're kissing was just practice for boys. So I say, "Ah, great. Girls are confusing," to which my mom says nothing but she gives me the good 'what?' look. It's kind of comical really, considering that these moments usually occur with my brother or the Male Parent. (Like the whole "You can't rent Rent! It's gay!" or "They really said that in theatre? I thought they'd be more accepting since there's a lot of fags that do theatre." but thankfully the ways my mom and I WTF each other out are usually like my saying something stupid or forgetting what I was saying)
It makes me wonder if I had a kid, if they could grow up normal. I wonder if sometime between my strange bonding times and obsession with the number 27 (which, by the way, was relentless today because of the date and a few signs) and adulthood if I could be normal when I feel so abnormal.
For example, I went to go buy handcuffs today at Spartacus, but I thought about half way there if they would even sell them to me because I am underage or all their handcuffs might be fuzzy, or even worse, impossible to get out of. (BTW I need these handcuffs for a Gwendal/Yuuri cosplay, see last entry) So, I paused in front of library and I thought 'Well, I might be able to buy it them at Ray's Ragtime' but no, for some reason I was drawn to Little Finnegan's. This might be because I was closer to it and I am a lazy person. But anyway, I went into Little Finnegan's and I went up to the guy and I said, "Hey, do you have any handcuffs?" Which to me sounds like a pick up line, but this guy got that I was a consumer and not a nymphomaniac, and checked and then said, "No, we're out, but they might have them next store at the toy store,"
So I thank him and I go next door to Big Finnegan's, see that it is way too big for me to find them on my own, and I go in and I go "Where are your handcuffs?" to this guy in thick glasses and he goes, "Oh, right over there under the plastic posters" I go over to the plastic posters and I see little hats, a pirate kit, a kit to being a freaking barber, and lots of little costumes and swords, but no handcuffs just hanging out. I look for about fifteen minutes, awkwardly looking through this potpourri of tiny items when I finally give up looking for the handcuffs at that particular area. I venture around and I see little plastic chef devices and more pirate gear. And I get so frustrated that I actually said under breath, "Since when did kids want to be tiny chefs? What ever happened to wanting to be cops or something else that involves handcuffs..."
And of course, right when I say that, a woman with her miniature girls in tutus walks buy me and as I'm fondling a very small spatula. Which is wonderful because it's awesome that my perviness is come out at the worse time as a woman and her freaking children pass by as I am muttering about handcuffs as I am a big person with no children with me at the time. And apparently, I look like I'm 21 so I basically look like a pedophile rifling through children's toys looking for handcuffs for my kinky desires.
Like I said, awesome.
So finally I get up the courage to ask another employee where the handcuffs are and thankfully he realized that I am mentally challenged to the point where I need him to get the handcuffs for me, so it turns out that they were under the tiny hats and in boxes.
And I left Big Finnegan's feeling ashamed and stupid, not to mention very paranoid that women with the ballerinas to be was going to call Amber Alert on my ass. So far, nothing, but I don't think I'll be going into Big Finnegan's for awhile.
Oh and Hamlet 2 was great.
Happy Nightmares,
Ka-chan
PS Sorry Ha-chan for randomly leaving our MSN conversation, I opened a window I shouldn't have and my computer retaliated in mutiny, causing me to loose control of my computer. |
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