CHURCH OF LE GRAND OTP

HAI GUYS.

2006-10-27T10:45:44Z

I completely apologize for the huge lack of update here but please understand that I'm quite busy. I have only a day of rest and then will have to go back to another term of school work.

Hope you're all doing well yourselves!

Dedicated to penguin_attie

2006-09-01T18:48:53Z

Who is going back to uni tomorrow.

PRINCESS LEIA-ISH GOLDEN BIKINI WOOOOOOOOOOO.
Inspired by this entry.

Thank you, Attie, for all your comments on my LJ and I will miss having you on my LJ greatly. :(

♥

Because you want to

2006-08-05T03:31:36Z

You may obviously hotlink the banners. Just copy and paste the codes. :D

BIKINI. <3

Introducing: CRACK TV NEWSFLASH Issue #1

2006-08-04T20:35:10Z

.
.
.
*jingle*

You have to be strong, dear viewers, as it's official: Michael Ballack cut his hair.
'Cut' is the wrong word, actually. He has ruthlessly SHAVED his hair.

We received the first reactions of his German teammates this morning, mirroring the incredible tragedy of this world-changing hair loss:

The one player probably suffering the most of all is, of course, Torsten Frings. He did not want to comment on the hair incident, but the picture speaks for itself. *stiffled (yet professional) sob*

Oliver Kahn, who recently left the German team after the World Cup match over the 3rd place , seems to have taken this information with rage rather than sadness by transforming into Hulk!Kahn. Some people have died of heart attacks at this sight. Rumors say that he might get his own movie with this ability (transforming into Hulk, not giving people heart attacks).

This heart-wrenching scene is the result of us telling clueless Philipp Lahm of recent happenings. Poor boy.

Upon hearing what has happened, German coach Jogi Löw and his husband, the former German coach Jürgen Klinsmann (who is back in Germany), decided to speak up as well.

In the end, Christoph Metzelder approached us with his wish to show our viewers his favourite picture of long-haired Ballack. Of course we granted him this wish.

Farewell, little black locks.

Thank you for watching CRACK TV.
*jingle*
♥

He finally gets out of his room

2006-08-04T13:28:44Z

*killded by her own crack*

I'm such a lazy Crack artist. I don't even bother to color my art. 8'DDD;

this...is almost too much crack.

2006-08-03T01:38:15Z

WHAT CAN I SAY I HARDLY SLEPT THE LAST TWO DAYS XD

Leona told me to post this... -3-

A day has passed...

2006-08-02T16:23:09Z

Us: But you can't keep yourself locked in there, Torsten! :(

Us: Well, we have a nice dish of warm milk for you!

Us: *LE GASP*

Us: :((((((((((

WHAT WILL WE EVER DO?

GJKALSDJSAHLGSA.

2006-08-01T11:27:43Z

Once upon a time, in this Crack!Kingdom of ours, we had a period of peace with no one having bad hairdo's.

THEN MICHA THREATENED TO CUT HIS HAIR WHICH (as told by our Highest Priestess, onion_) TORSTEN TRIED TO PREVENT FROM HAPPENING. BUT HE COULDN'T. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

"He did what...?"

OH I WILL NEVER FORGIVE JOSE MORINHO FOR THIS. *CRACK MASTER'S FIST OF FURY*

Talk about sloppy artsmanship. :p

2006-07-28T13:06:32Z

Title: Who Made You Cry?
Prompt: 076. Who?
Character: Kitty!Torsten
Rating: G
Warning: Bad art. D;
Author's Notes: See, I was trying to be serious... And it didn't work. >.>

Well, the matter is, Micha said that "Torsten is my favorite kitty"
and then he went flirting with the Boy Harem which made Torsten sulk. BADLY.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

My f-list friend had a birthday today. :P

My beloved Di went missing from the internet then came back
so I drew that to celebrate her come-back! ♥

I know. MY HEAD IS A LITTLE OFF-SOMEWHERE-OUT-IN-THE-SPACE.

ETA. I need some help. Or, actually, Arne needs some help from you all. My crack seem to go "What, I don't see crack in that Arne boy D8" when I try to draw Arne. AND SO IF YOU GOT ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF, COMMENT AWAY! Problem solved! THANKS SARA. ♥

You're my Butterfly~

2006-07-26T13:24:22Z

Title: Cheeky.
Prompt: 016. Purple
Character: Philipp Lahm
Rating: G
Warning: Buttefly wings and cross-dressing as usual. 8'D
Author's Notes: Whitney (unembraced) claimed for a butterfly-winged Lahmi, so here you go! XD

Lahmi looks much more equipped thatn Poldi. *SOBS*

Yes, yes, Poldi. YOU ARE TEH ORIGINAL FAERIE. 8'DDD;

View Poll: Your favorite winged player?

PS. Pimp this place! Show it to your f-list (even if they have nothing to do with football). BECAUSE ~~I'M A COMMENTWHORE~~ YOU LOVE ME. ♥

:P

Repost of Preview: Schweinski in Nature

2006-07-25T10:56:59Z

THIS IS THE PREVIEW POST OF THE ANTICIPATED SEQUEL TO THE STORY OF GOLDEN IGUANA: SCHWEISNKI IN NATURE.

I locked this post before all of you can look at it.

Will Poldi be Schweini's "dinner" tonight? Is his faerie wings really made out of gold? DID HE STEAL TORSTEN'S FAVORITE SHAMPOO ONLY TO USE IT INSTEAD OF LUBE?

Find out next on Schweinski in Nature.

*EVILLAUGHS*

PS. I SURE HOPE YOU ALL CONTINUE TO FLOOD ME WITH COMMENTS. Just like you did before on my LJ. :P Because I live on them. ♥

Art Collection Vol. I

2006-07-25T07:55:13Z

Title: Golden Touch!
Prompt: 013. Yellow.
Pairing: Schwinski
Rating: PG-14 for extreme stupidity. *FACEPALM*
Warning: Crackity, crack, crack.
Author's Notes: This is the product of having too much sugar and not having enough of sleep. I should get some help, here. >_>

Once upon a time, somewhere in Germany, there lived a golden iguana named Schweini.

...he actually wasn't an Iguana but he was, er, transformed by some typical evil wizard into one.

One sunny day, a ~~really queer-looking~~ faerie came along:

AND SO SCHWENI THOUGHT IT WAS HIS ONLY CHANCE TO GET SOME HELP. SO HE YELLED AT THE FAERIE AND TALKED TO HIM.

Schweini: So, you see, I'm turned into an iguana by some evil bitch. And the only way for me to be back in my human form is to get someone to kiss me.

Poldi(who looks nothing like the actualy Poldi, but hell): Uhm, okay? And you're telling me to do that?

Schweini: Well, OBVIOUSLY. When I turn back into my human form I will ~~give you hawt mansex~~ whatever you wish.

Poldi: ... *COUGHCHOKES* okay, that's a deal

AND SO POLDI THE GAY FAERIE KISSED SCHWEINI THE GOLDEN IGUANA.

And they ~~had kinky sex on the dirt~~ lived happily ever after.

THE END.

Title: Chill, Hanke.
Prompt: 015. Blue
Character: Mike Hanke
Rating: PG
Warning: Crack. And pants.
Author's Notes: The first art from the Claim Post! For Sara (wisniowy). To those of you who didn't give me any suggestion as to how you want me to draw your claim, THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU, TOO.

SMURF!HANKE.

Title: Presents
Prompt: 097. Artist's Choice
Rating: PG
Warning: Man in dress. And pink pumps.
Author's Notes: I was browsing through the old Allure issues and found this pink dress which I knew would look good on Torsten. *DIES* And so I drew it. :'''( Mine looks nothing like Torsten, though. 8'DDDDDDDDDDDDDD But I'm happy I was able to draw a body. Not so bad for a first time. ^_^ But I got sloppy at the end and yeah. Better try harder next time. D8

Title: Magazine Cover
Prompt: 096. Artist's Choice
Rating: Probably G.
Warning: Football player in a dress. *SHIFTY EYES TIMES A BILLION*
Disclaimer: Torsten is not really a cross-dresser ~~not in the public, anyway, but he has a whole closet ful of dresses at home, locked somewhere so his family can never find them~~. THIS IS ALL MADE UP IN MY HEAD.
A/N: My tablet made me do it. >_>