The Chud's Farm Team
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Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in
Chud Farm Team's LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, June 7th, 2006 | 6:46 pm
[lovepump]
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I'm putting this here before I forget. And outline:
I have a paper due, so I'm procrastinating. Procrastination takes strange forms. I want to feel like I'm accomplishing something, so I avoid things like video games (guilt at not working, after all), so I end up thinking up other things to do. Wash dishes. Exercise. Bake cookies. Have a shower. Something - anything - other than writing an essay.
The irony? Procrastination results in me getting tons of shit done. It's just that none of it matters. | | Friday, June 2nd, 2006 | 12:16 am
[feeblethemighty]
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Okay. Here's the post in full minus the last sentance:
When I was still going to elementary school, my family and i would take regular trips to Alberta to visit family. We would always stay with my uncle Bill and aunt Kathy who own computer with a amber monochrome monitor. When there were no cousins around to play with, i would kill time by playing one of the plethora of computer games that were on the tan-coloured beast. Among them were games like Ninja, Pinball, Bouncing Babies(which would play the pc speakers like fingernails to chalkboards) and Chuck Yeager's Flight Simulator. I enjoyed these for a time, but i soon tired of them and began digging through the piles of floppy disks that were lying carelessly about the computer. "Sermons 1989 - 1990" they would say, or "Documents 394". Boring, boring, boring. Yet i persisted. The Transformers in the toybox downstairs had expended their worth and that pile of plastic wafers was my only hope of entertainment.
Then i found something. A new disk. One that i hadn't seen before. It said "Leisure Suit Larry: Land of the Lounge Lizards" on it. This was a new game. This is what i was looking for! I stuck it in the machine and started it up, excited for the whole new world that was open to me.
When the opening screen appeared and i saw Larry run across the screen in the classic Sierra adventure game style, i knew i was in for a good time. It looked like Police Quest. I loved that game. You got to pull people over for speeding and give them tickets and read them their Miranda rights and...then I noticed that Larry was running from a large flying topless woman. Was that...? And what's this "answer three questions to prove that you're over 18" bulljazz?
By this time my juvenile curiousty began to take over and i could almost physically feel my own personal devil perch himself on my left shoulder. The accompanying angel roosted on my right shoulder, but i think even he was a little curious. What kind of trouble could I get in to for trying to answer three questions?
Question one appeared. "Thomas Eagleton was dropped from the 1972 Democratic National Ticket when knowledge of his previous _____ treatments became known." What? This made no sense to a ten year old from Canada. Was it A)Skin or B)Shock or even C)Screen? Everyone has skin so it must be A)Skin. Bzzt. Wrong. The game shut down. Damn those questions were hard. I decided to randomly answer the questions until i got in and a half hour later, i was.
Of course, in my eagerness to play the game i had to ask dad for the answer to some of the questions. Like, "what's a birthday suit?", "Las Vegas is famous for..." and "Which U. S. President was not elected to office". "What kind of game are you playing, Marlon" dad had asked. I forget what i said at that point, but i guess he wasn't suspisious enough to check.
I was in. The game felt familiar because i'd played Police Quest and King's Quest which were very similar, yet this one was different. You could actually use the toilet in this one. Then i found a woman in a bed in one of the rooms of a hotel who asked me to go get a certain item for her. I didn't know what the item was so i went to ask dad what it was. "Dad," i said. "What's a prophylactic?"
He never told me. He just said "I don't think you should be playing this game." He seemed a little upset. But that just made it all the more intriguing. I ended up getting the item in the game and using it on the woman in the room and did the bouncing CENSORED box dance with her. *end line here*
A few ending options include:
"It was awesome."
"It was all very educational." | | Saturday, April 8th, 2006 | 8:13 pm
[lovepump]
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It's the weekend already
Dave! Any plans for Monday? | | Sunday, April 2nd, 2006 | 5:13 pm
[lovepump]
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Two things:
1) Article idea: Spotlight On: Animated GIF's. It'd be gross. And awesome.
And that made me think:
2) Dave's Web Design School? | | Wednesday, March 29th, 2006 | 12:39 am
[kanadajin]
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Up to bat
So Mar! What d'you have for next week? | | Tuesday, March 21st, 2006 | 9:41 am
[lovepump]
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I guess it's my turn.
I liked your post, Dave. It was a good way to present our New Year's stuff. 'Cause you're right: that list definitely needed work, but pointing out that it's a) a rough draft, and b) written while drunk kind of lets us off the hook.
Part if it inspired me, actually. I'm thinking for next week I can have a lot of charts and graphs. Pie charts. Definitely pie charts. A Breakdown of Things That Make Me Angry or something. Academic Crunch Time is in full swing, so I could tie it into that. | | Monday, March 13th, 2006 | 11:57 am
[feeblethemighty]
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Using Karate: the Video
This post is mostly for Dave because Aaron was there when we came up with the idea. It basically uses the text (and pictures) in a book that Ben Dyck owns called The Complete Book of Karate. So, without further ado, the text of the book, word for word. The text in the square brackets are my comments.
How to Cope with Annoying Persons
The Leaner
[Picture: Two men in karate uniforms, face to face. The man on the left (the "kidder") has both hands on the other man's shoulders and is leaning on him.]
1. The kidder, who doesn't realize or doesn't care that you would find it an annoyance that he rests his (usually considerable) weight on your shoulders.
2. Dig into his solar plexus with extended knuckle. (don't punch)
3. Alternate: place your thumb into the hollow of his throat (just below the Adam's apple). As he leans forward, he hurts himself.
4. For the side leaner, dig your extended knuckle into the area just below his last rib.
The Hand-Squeezer
This situation does not warrant strong defence, but you must be prepared to handle it, or the annoying person will continue to humiliate you.
[Picture: Same two men, they are shaking hands. The man on the right, who is being annoyed by the other man, is not pleased]
1. The "hearty, good-fellow" hand squeeze.
2. Dig into the back of his hand with extended knuckle.
3. An alternate defense--place the ball of your palm at his thumb joint and squeeze it.
4. An alternate defense--place the bony part of your forearm (just above the wrist) at the top of his forearm and press or grind down.
The Jostler, The Shoulder Puncher
[Picture: Same two men, they are standing side by side. The man on the left has his arm around the other mans back as if giving him a sideways hug/tug/squeeze as "good-natured" are want to do. The man on the right is eyeing the other man's foot.]
1. This man is being rough, but in a "good-natured" way. He is extremely annoying, but assumes you enjoy his "fun" as much as he does.
2. Stamp onto his instep and immediately tell him you are sorry. You are pretending to be clumsy; he cannot take offense when you have apologized.
3. This same "good fellow" punches your shoulder, pokes you, or slaps you on the back heartily. He is not trying to hurt you.
4. Slash down onto the forearm nerve center.
5. Pretend extreme concern and apologize. Tell him it was a reflex action.
So, there you have it. The video would probibly be in a sort of documentary style following the protagonist as he learns how to defend himself against annoying persons from this book and then trying to get into situations where he can use them. The one scene I want to be in there would take place at a party and the protagonist is looking around for an annoying person on whom to use his new knowledge. Off in the distance he sees a leaner, leaning his considerable weight on someone in the distance. The protagonist then non-chalantly sidles up beside the person that the leaner is currently leaning on and anxiously awaits his turn. When the leaner turns to him and leans, the video would pause and the protagonist would recount how to deal with this situation. The video unpauses and the protagonist hurls a punch at the leaner, who doubles over in pain.
Anyways, you can see where this goes and hopefully we can flesh things out through this thread. | | Friday, March 10th, 2006 | 2:34 am
[feeblethemighty]
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| | Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 | 3:38 pm
[lovepump]
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I'm just not that into me.
Dave: I just saw that post at your (personal) journal about that "He's Just Not That Into You" book. And that you were supposed to submit a full review when you're done. That could totally be Chud material. "Dave Takes a Book" or something. | 2:05 pm
[kanadajin]
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the chud says what?
What's with "the chud says"? does that just not work on my computer? are you supposed to click on it? WTF? | | Monday, March 6th, 2006 | 4:07 pm
[feeblethemighty]
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Talking to myself
Aaron, i have an idea for a post. But it requires some video, so i was wondering if it would be possible to have a Quicktime plugin inside a post.
Onward to the idea.
Basically it would consist of me interviewing my future self. First, I would record myself(using the rule of thirds, of course) as the interviewer asking some humourous but generic questions. This would include some reaction shots of me nodding or agreeing with my future self. I would post this video on the Chud for the world to see so they are familiar with my "past self" and the questions i ask.
Then comes part two.
A week or two later i would watch the video again and come up with some answers to the questions that i had asked. Then I would film myself again, but this time answering the questions from before, taking reaction shots and whatnot so that the two can be edited together.
Gods. I hope this makes sense to you guys. I tend to wield language like some sort of bludgeon.
What do you think of this idea? Doable? How long should the wait between parts be? Should it be partially pre-scripted? | 3:49 pm
[feeblethemighty]
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Another flash movie
Hey team,
while listening to the radio at work the other day, the song "Smoke on the Water" came on and i was immediately reminded by Chad's story (i think it was Chad) about his friend who always thought the chorus was "Slow talkin' Walter, the fire engine guy." Then i was struck with the idea of turning that into a flash animation. I have some ideas of what will happen in it, but i thought i'd throw it out to you guys to see what you think. | | Thursday, March 2nd, 2006 | 3:42 pm
[kanadajin]
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questions?
Are we still gonna do the whole new years reso thing? Or are we just going to go straight for "Passionate for the Christ"? What do you guys think of revamping the visuals a bit? perhaps a sexier logo? Maybe see if Doc can come up with anything good? Maybe I'll end all my sentances with question marks?
Perhaps? | 2:16 pm
[lovepump]
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It hurts.
chudcommunity, consider yourself violated.
I had to poke around for a while (pun mostly intended), but I figured out how to post here (rather than to one's own default journal): at the 'Update Journal' screen, select 'chudcommunity' from the 'Post to:' combo box.
I'm also going to add you guys to my friends list so I can limit the visibility of these posts to just you two. |
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