| I feel I've failed :-( |
[17 Jul 2008|09:59am] |
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Ended up at the Doctors on Tuesday to discuss my depression. He asked lots of pertinent questions about how I felt about myself, life, the universe etc., and now I am back on anti-D's.
I'm gutted. I so didn't want to go back onto anti-D meds but I suppose it's better than the Hubbsta coming home and finding something not pleasant. I just feel a failure.
This, and the fact that I am having to take pain relief again after weaning myself off of it.
Anyone got any lesson plans on "giving oneself a break"?
Hope you are having a better day.
Love
D
xxx
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[14 Jul 2008|11:33am] |
I just came back from an appointment with my Orthopedic surgeon. Over the years since I've seen him (six years, since I was fifteen) his visits have grown ever more annoying. I went in regarding my MRI that I had posted about and to get some definitive conclusions as to what I really have, apart from "discoid menisci." The only thing he could really tell me judging from the MRI results is that "yeah, you have some arthritis." The rest of the fifteen minute conversation was an up-in-the-air bout of treatment options, every sentence ending with a shrug. He said that, given my age and current status of the arthritis, I would be a candidate for meniscus transplant surgery. This was followed swiftly by "if you want to go down that route ... only ten years of research ... not really that conclusive ... I don't know whether or not I believe in it, etc..." Other than that, there is of course what I like to call the lube job of injections, but again, whether or not that will be effective is questionable, and expensive. Other than that he suggested to "keep doing what you're doing."
While driving home I had time to think about these semi-annually-but frequently annoying-encounters with Doc Op and how the only concrete conclusion that is ever attained in these meetings is that there are no concrete conclusions that are ever attainable. I don't mean to make him sound incompetent. He's very intelligent, cares about his patients, and is a nice guy to boot. I've reasoned that his explanations of my condition are actually mere symptoms of the condition itself. Arthritis, by nature, is illusive. It's as though every medical specialist dedicated to its treatment research was gathered together in a giant stadium, only to stand from their seats and boast--instead of a wave--one enormous shrug en masse.
In the end, he offered me a referral to a rheumatologist, one that I've already seen and been shrugged off by. I'll go to them again and this time demand some blood work and X-rays of my hands and ankles.
In the meantime, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. I'll strength train; I'll write more poetry and fiction; I'll use my bike just as much; I'll enjoy my summer as best as I can; I'll stay positive.
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| bulging disc pain puzzle |
[10 Jul 2008|03:08pm] |
In November I noticed pain in my ankles. I thought I had sprained them.
In January I started to feel pain in my back,and was very curious as to why my ankles were not healing.
March was better than February because that was when I started to be able to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night in pain.
May was better than April and March because that's when I was able to start riding bikes again without feeling pain in my ankles. I started taking Mobic then because I realizedit was probably a bulging disc.
Then I was able to get an MRI which showed two bulging discs in my lower back, even though I had been taking that anti-inflammatory drug for four days.
I had an epidural shot but I noticed no improvement several days afterwards.
But June was better than May, the month of May was better than April, April was better than March and February...
I noticed that there was a positive steady trend, even if it was a very slow progress. But then in early July I was suddenly back with April levels of pain. I am not penalized from riding bikes as far as my ankles go,so I expect that disc that was pinching my nerve that goes into the ankles and feet was better, but the other disc was not.
On July 2 I only did two or three things out of the ordinary for me. I rode my bike twice as far as I usually do. I laid my back down on a very soft couch. And I had a candy bar loaded with sugar (an inflammatory). Also part of my bike ride was on a very rough patch of road.
Which of these three things do you think has sent me back to the month of April?
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| Update on "Fobbed off by NHS" |
[29 Jun 2008|12:06pm] |
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I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded to my Thread.
I kept away from the pills, for which I was actually kinda proud of myself for. My coping mechanisms did help and I added a new one; everytime I wanted to take a pill, I ate something. And it worked, which was strange.
I talked to The Hubbsta and we are going to pay privately to see the Consultant that I should have seen last week, and we are going to sit there until he discusses the issues I wanted to discuss on Thursday. With The Hubbsta there, then I should remain calm. Also, going privately, we get as long as we need, so I won't feel rushed.
So, will keep you all informed.
Thank you again - you all helped.
Love
D
xxx
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| Once again I had to cut short a day out |
[28 Jun 2008|08:14pm] |
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I was supposed to be going to a gig after a bbq I went to this afternoon, but the pain kicked in so badly that I had to come home.
But I suppose, at least I recognised the fact that I needed to come home, rather than carry on and probably spend tomorrow in bed.
I just want a night out .. a late night out, with dancing. But until my Consultant can sort out the gynae pain, I can't see it. I could do it with my neck pain, as I have learnt strategies to cope with that, but the same strategies don't seem to be working for the gynae pain.
Sorry to whinge (yet again - you'll be tired of me), but I know that I can say things here like this without anyone judging me.
Hope your weekend is as good as can be.
Love and hugs
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| Introduction |
[26 Jun 2008|03:27pm] |
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I'm Joey, 26, like in Swindon, UK and suffer from three chronic conditons, two of which are chronic pain conditions. I take Oxycotin 40mg twice a day with Severdol 40mg to deal with breakthrough pain.
Hope everyone is as well as can be expected.
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approved x-posted ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) fibromyalgia and personal LJ |
[26 Jun 2008|10:11am] |
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Short Term Disability Insurance Claim has been approved.
*breathe*
The amount is small due to my not having worked much since February, but at least it is something!!
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| I've just been fobbed off by the NHS |
[26 Jun 2008|01:09pm] |
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I don't do angry usually. I do "apologetic" and "make concessions for".
Today I am angry and in self harm mode (and somewhat slightly suicidal) it seems.
I've done the following the list of things when I feel like this.
I've talked to friends on line - not working; still seeing a large pile of pills with a chaser of Oramorph.
I've written it down - not working; still seeing a large pile of pills with a chaser of Oramorph
I've got an appointment with my reflexologist first thing tomorrow morning - not working; still seeing a large pile of pills with a chaser of Oramorph.
Husband isn't home until tonight. And I love him to bits, but all I can see is the pills and the morphine.
I am usually Bit of Soft Touch Debb; I let most things go by and I store it up, but today I am Angry Debb and I am afraid of myself.
I am getting out of the house because I am going to do something stupid.
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| Haven't we all felt this way? |
[25 Jun 2008|08:09pm] |
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Please enlarge by clicking the photograph itself. Thanks, and have a nice day!
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[25 Jun 2008|07:00pm] |
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I am suffering at the moment with various pains and having to take morphine to keep it under control.
I was due to go and see a couple of people yesterday; one being my Sister in Law and the other being a really good friend. I had to take the morphine earlier during the day and was online when chatting and thought I had said I wouldn't be coming down. When I logged on this morning, I had a message from my friend saying "I presume you aren't coming down tonight", and now I feel REALLY REALLY guilty. I've texted her, IM'd and emailed her to apologise.
I do know that this girl will let me know if she's p****d off at me, but I am feeling a little more "touchy (for want of a better word" than normal. I was talking to her earlier yesterday and explained why I hadn't gone to see my Sis In Law and that I had to put myself first, and now that isn't working as I feel guilty as heck.
We'll see.
Get to see the Consultant tomorrow and see what he says.
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[24 Jun 2008|10:11pm] |
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So, I have an appointment with my neurologist tomorrow. Currently, my "pain management regimen" (HA!) is to take two Aleve no more than twice a week when my headaches get really bad. The last month or so, I've had pretty bad flares (I have a pretty constant pain, with flares lasting several days anywhere from every three months to every week), and the Aleve ain't cutting it.
At my appointment tomorrow, I need to get my doctor to prescribe me something stronger. Through all the tests, the doctors haven't been able to figure out why I hurt. If they can't fix it, they need to treat the symptoms. My question is, how to I ask for stronger drugs without seeming like a "drug seeker"? How have you gone about changing/increasing your medications in the past?
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| Introduction |
[24 Jun 2008|07:42pm] |
Hi everyone, I thought I'd introduce myself.
I went looking for a community like this one, recently, and I'm glad I found it.
I'm 21, and although haven't been officially diagnosed with such, I believe I have Secondary Osteoarthritis.
( My story )
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| Buggerations |
[21 Jun 2008|12:28am] |
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It's 0029 (BST), and I am lying here, typing this and I am in agony. I have taken my dose of morphine that I allow myself a day (I can have 4), and am wondering whether I should take some more.
I am just sick of being in 3 different types of pain. I know a lot of you are suffering worse than I am, but I am not the strongest of people, and I am letting external issues interfere with "me" space.
And my Darling Hubbsta is away for 6 whole days. The bed feels so empty without him.
I just want the pain to go.
Sorry to be so pathetic, but I needed to get it out and onto "paper" so to speak.
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| My Doctor is FAB |
[19 Jun 2008|09:27am] |
I went and saw my doc last week because of gynae pains and he said that he'd write to my Consultant to bring my appointment forward from October (!). Got a letter today; go a week today. How cool is that!!
OOOOH, I could hug him.
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| Ankle pain |
[16 Jun 2008|03:06pm] |
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I am having terrible right ankle pain. The ankle was operated on twice (first surgery was an arthroscopic debriedment and second was removal of os trigonum) several years ago after I kept running for months on a stress fracture. Recently it became irritating at first (at which time it was dxed by a primary care doctor as tendonitis) then became very painful (then dxed as arthritis by urgent care). I tried just ignoring it hoping that the warm weather would calm it down. It hasn't. I've wrapped it and that doesn't help much. I tried using capstacin and bengay. Learned that if you use capstacin at 4pm it is not a good idea to then use bengay at 10 pm because the combination causes chemical burns (yes I now have a mild chemical burn on my ankle and foot). I've made an appointment with my foot and ankle orthopedic specialist but they can't get me in until July 7. In the mean time I need suggestions for some home remedies to help with the pain. I already know the old ibuprofin and tylenol routine although I try to avoid the NSAIDS because I've had not great reactions to them in the past. I'm thinking more natural approaches like right now I'm soaking my ankle in epsom salt water. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
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