Feminist Christians

Is it bad that it's only my first day back home, and I'm already ready to leave?

I don't know if it's the heat (my house is not air conditioned), the fact that my bedroom has become an exercise/storage room, or just my general resistance to living at home.  When I walked in my house this morning, I took one look around and knew that I needed to get on my feet and out on my own as soon as possible, or else I'd be destined for a mediocre exsistence, languishing away in my mother's house for some indeterminate amount of time.

I feel bad for feeling like this. I should be happy to be here, this is the first time I've been home in over a year. I am happy to see my family, and I'm really looking forward to going to church tomorrow and seeing my friends. But even though this is home, it no longer feels like it.  I feel like I don't belong here anymore, like I'm just a visitor passing through. My life and everything that's important to me right now resides in Missouri. NJ has become a sort of life sized memory box; a place where my past lives.

I'm going to spend the next few days planning and praying about the immediate future.  I normally procrastinate on things like that, but my unhappiness and frustration are really spurring me on to make some serious changes in how I approach my life.

Birthday Countdown: 19 days

1 and 3.
1 for the first time I ever had a counterfeit bill come through the School Box. Yesterday and counterfeit $20 came through. Betsy marked it with our special pen and the in turned black. There was no water mark and the poor girl who had it thought we were going to arrest her. First time for everything.
13 for the number of hours I am suppose to work every Monday through Friday at my new job. Oh yeah - and 11 to 7 on Saturdays. And I'm suppose to pay my own way to the Boston training. And I have to spend 5 hours a day canvassing in Atlanta. I really wanted to like this job. I love the organization, what their mission is and the dedication of their staff; however, I just don't have the passion/stamina for 13 hour days every day. I don't want to have zero weekends and to only make $23,000 a year when I'm working 72 hours a week. I HATE canvassing - asking people for money is really hard for me and I just don't like to do it. I have consistently failed to make the goals they have set for me which has been really hard on me emotionally. I don't like to fail and the idea that I have consistently failed, and that by quitting I will in some ways have failed at this job is very hard for me to accept. But, it is making me miserable. What I'm doing is NOT AT ALL what I thought I would be doing. I'm disappointed, though. I was really looking forward to having a big-girl job that I would work hard in and help to make change.
I like most of my coworkers (there are one or two that really get to me, but that's going to be everywhere). I like the office atmosphere and the culture, but I just don't like the job itself. I LOVE working at the School Box, even on hectic days (like today). But, I dread going into work on Monday, that's how unhappy I am.
30 is the number of minutes in my interview for another job. Yesterday I interviewed with Dean Powell for the Assistant Dean position at Queens. I would LOVE to get the job, but I think that my youth and inexperience will work against me. I am encouraged that I was even considered and hope that I will be able to find a position that is more suitable to my personality and skill level.
3-1 (2) is the number of time the computers at the School Box have frozen up today. I don't know what's going on, but they need to get fixed. Back to school is right around the corner and we can't afford to manually ring up everyone. It would be a nightmare.
3 is the number of hours my dad has been asleep since he got home. Today he came home and it has been great to see him. I missed him a ton, and it's nice to know he's around. I haven't been able to talk to him much, but I think he's glad to be home.
1 is the number of wacked-out shirts that dad brought back for me from Canada.


Today's post was made possible by the numbers 1 and 3.

What really got me was the image of the girl with only one usable arm working... *sighs*

Happy birthday to sunnyskywalker! And a happy belated birthday to leia_naberrie! Here are some presents for you:

.:.

I also made a set of non-personalized icons following those themes, free for anyone's taking. leia_naberrie wanted icons of Katara from "The Waterbending Master," so that's what she gets. ;) sunnyskywalker writes amazing fic about the mothers of Star Wars, so I ran with that theme for her.

[6] Katara (from The Waterbending Master)
[12] mothers of Star Wars (Shmi, Jobal, Beru, and Breha)

Please comment, credit, and don't hotlink. Textless icons are not bases. Please do not alter! Thanks.

Samples:
.:..:..:.

( because of her I shall have glory among the multitudes )

I'm sick. Sore throat yesterday, turned to cough last night, am now hacking, sneezing and dripping like a tap.

I'm still trying to flat-hunt but I think something's wrong with moveflat.com because I have not had one single response to all the replies to ads I've tried to send out in the last three days. Which is extra annoying because it was a time-consuming process and some of it was from internet cafes and so cost me money.

I am getting more and more tempted to take the place in West Hampstead. I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm not tempted to do that only or primarily so I can stop flat-hunting and have an address to put on the applications I want to make for mini-pupillages, clerking and marshalling.

It would also be nice to have internet at home -- which I would, there. For Mum to be able to call me without spending a mint -- potential new flatmate has landline. To be able to put my things away -- the flat may not have much storage space but it has more than my current room. To have a kitchen and bathroom I feel I can properly use -- am getting increasingly sick of having to search for bowls/mugs/etc when I need them and tiptoeing around our filthy "accommodations" where I am now.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

My wonderful friend xdarkxdjinnix is getting MARRIED this October, all the way in Chicago. Rob and I were planning on flying up, but flight prices have gotten a lot more expensive recently, so we've changed our minds. 12 hours in the car is too long for me, so we're going to do an overnight stop in Cleveland, Ohio, each way. Any of you know any good, reasonable (i.e., comfortable, clean bed and private bathroom and quiet, but high 2 figures if possible) hotels in the area? Any of you live in the area and want to show us around (or happen to have a spare bedroom)?

A local woman has been arrested after she was accused of killing her unborn child by cutting the umbilical cord, authorities said Monday.

Jennifer Darlene Johnson, 30, of 1796 Lauderdale 7, Florence, has been charged with manslaughter, authorities said.

Manslaughter is a Class B felony, which is punishable by two to 20 years if convicted.

Florence police detective Capt. Ron Tyler said Johnson was seven months into her pregnancy when she was taken to Helen Keller Hospital in Sheffield on Friday night, where her baby was delivered. Tyler said the baby was dead at birth.

"She said her water broke sometime Friday morning and then she started experiencing pain and bleeding and was taken to Helen Keller Hospital," Tyler said.

He said medical personnel at Keller Hospital, during the course of the baby's delivery, discovered the umbilical cord had been "severed while still inside the mother's uterus."

"Investigators believe the evidence demonstrates that the death of the infant is directly related to the intentional severing of the umbilical cord," Tyler said.

from here.

Okay, I know some of you are pro-life. Assuming for one moment that this was intentional, do you agree she should be charged with manslaughter? I'm curious to hear your points of view here.

Now that I've been civil, what? First of all, how exactly did she intentionally sever her umbilical cord? Wouldn't there have been noticeable signs from that, like... excessive internal bleeding or something? I don't know. There are so many things wrong with this that I'm not sure where to start.

( Edit and more thoughts under cut )

One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Post this in your journal and once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind that you're not so bad in other people's eyes after all.

anonymous comments allowed

A Hard Day's Night. We had a very small record player in a wooden case - I have no idea what kind it was but I suppose it was about standard for that time. It probably had the world's cheapest needle. I played that album to death. I still have it and it looks like it was ice-skated over, but it still plays.

Musical segue:

Last night we went to see Leon Russell at the Cascade Theater and once more, Redding has proved itself to not be worthy or appreciative of great musical talent coming here. The theater seats 999 people and it was perhaps 1/2 to 2/3 full. (The couple next to me said this concert was competing with two concurrent events: Montgomery Gentry, who are/is apparently a country-western band, and Marketfest, which was taking place two blocks away and is free. Before the concert started I walked down to Marketfest and saw a whole lotta oh-so-hipsters around 18 to 23 who were just too busy being fabulous and not listening to the musical act Lady Bianca.) The vast majority of the audience was at least my age and some were considerably older.

Russell and his band came out a few minutes after 8:00 PM. Russell walked with a cane but he slammed into "Jumpin' Jack Flash"/"Papa Was a Rolling Stone," and never let up for the next hour and a half. Russell said nothing whatsoever between numbers - there was perhaps a two-second space as one song ended and the next began. He covered the Stones, Dylan, the Beatles, some oldies, and some of his own tunes ("Hummingbird," "Back to the Island," "A Song for You," "Delta Lady"). The sound could have been a little cleaner but overall the show rocked. Before the closing number, "Roll Over Beethoven," Russell finally spoke and said he enjoyed playing for y'all here in Redding and before he left he would play y'all one more song. In true Redding fashion, numerous audience members took that as their cue to get up and leave before the show was over. Why do they do that?

Afterwards we were advised by the band's guitarist, who doubled as the t-shirt/CD salesman, that if we went out to the tour bus, Russell would sign the LPs Gary had brought with him. While waiting around we met the (blind!) keyboardist (nice guy) and the drummer (who didn't say much). Eventually the door to the bus opened and a man stuck his head out - Gary asked if Leon would sign the albums and handed the guy a new Sharpie. The guy laughed and told him to keep the pen because if it went inside the bus, he'd never get it back. The LPs disappeared and in about 30 seconds the door opened again and the guy handed them back with Russell's autograph across the front.

For those who appreciate those musicians you grew up listening to: go see them when they come to your town. They won't be around forever.

It's hard for me to explain my feelings about Mark Cavendish. He's a British sprinter who's won three stages of the Tour so far this year, which is a lot ... I can't tell if it's the British record or if it's the record for everyone. Last year he dropped out of the race--a "planned abandon", as distinguished from those who leave because they're injured or because they are disqualified for some reason. And on the one hand I can understand why an elite athlete might not want to go on a three-week bike race where he's not in sprint contention or anything. And I get winded biking to the grocery store so I shouldn't judge. But on the other hand, I guess I sort of feel like these guys start the race and they should try to stay in the race. It sort of feels like he is using the Tour for his own purposes and then when he's done he's just going to give up the ghost instead of riding all the way to Paris. I'd like to see him stay in it. But he's talking about another planned abandon this year. Maybe he wants to quit while he's still ahead, or before he gets disqualified for being too slow on a mountain stage or whatever... but it sort of seems like that's not what the Tour is for. I'm probably being way too much of a purist--this is pro sports, after all. But Robbie Rogers doesn't come on to the soccer field for the Crew, score a goal, and then walk off because he got his moment of glory.

I dunno.

As if I didn't have enough to do, I joined the Letter Writers Alliance ($3) and Postcrossing (free). I admit, though, that I was a little disappointed that my LWA membership kit was coming by...snail mail.

I sent off my first postcard today, to a woman named Minna in Finland. She listed "fashion" as one of the themes in the postcards she'd like to receive so I dug up a free postcard from Printemps ("spring"), the huge French department store, with an image of an avant-garde model.

My last huge letter-writing surge was when I was a Peace Corps volunteer. I wish I'd kept copies. Maybe some future biographer or offspring will track them all down. When I returned I was chatting with a friend who told me that while she was pregnant she was looking through her things she'd left at her parents' house, and started re-reading my letters from Cameroon. She said that one letter made her laugh so hard she felt the baby moving. I think it was when I was on a bush taxi somewhere and found a monkey arm under my seat.

I've just finished my second prompt for starwarsficfest. My first sex fic! Only, not quite in the way that you might think. ;)

At first I considered doing something really serious with this prompt. But then I thought, "Where's the fun in that?" So I did this instead.

I'm not sure if I'm fully satisfied with the way it came out. Meh. Not my best work. But I do like the idea behind it. And I'm totally convinced it's canon. :P I suspect Tatooine slave kids grow up just knowing the facts of life. There's no room for hang-ups when everyone's living on top of each other.

Title: Prude
Author: fialleril 
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1477
Prompt: PT: Anakin/Padmé; He was a former slave from Tatooine, she was an aristocrat from Naboo--culture clash.
Characters: Anakin, Padmé, Sola, mention of Ryoo and Pooja
Summary: Anakin tells Padmé's nieces the facts of life, and Padmé is less than pleased.
A/N: Technically this is pre-Anakin/Padmé, as it's set during their visit with Padmé's family before they go to the lake retreat.

( Prude )

I just got back from dinner with my Dad and brother, we had a really nice time.  It was so wierd hugging them and seeing them in person for the first time in over a year, but it was a good family moment.

I'm leaving tomorrow at 4 a.m.  I'm really anxious to see what this trip home hold for me; I'm going to miss my friends here so much, but I know that being home will help refresh me and give me a new perspective on things.  Before I know it, I'll be back in MO, ready to return to classes.

Birthday Countdown: 21 days

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Hmm... what to post.

I finally caved and got on Facebook. I have foregone any attempt to stand out from the masses of the Millennials. Woe.

So far, it seems kind of weird to broadcast all your doings to a network of your 470 closest friends, but I guess that's what I've been doing on LJ all these years.

Not much else is new. Watching sports, trying to clean the house, knitting, and making mushy food for Alec since he cracked a tooth and had to get a temp crown put on.

Back to work tomorrow.

Cadel Evans is finally in the lead of the Tour, which pleases me. Mark Cavendish won three stages, which is a heck of a lot for one Tour, but I can't bring myself to care too much about this as the sprint finishes kind of bore me. More guys have gotten thrown out for doping, which pisses me off--when will they ever learn? 

The Crew tied the Kansas City Wizards 3-3. It was a very exciting game. Too bad our last goal got disqualified due to the guy having blatantly pushed somebody right before he took the shot. We would have won if he'd kept his hands to himself.

My Internet is being insanely slow, and has been for days. All these Road Runner commercials just make me want to smack things, because we have Road Runner and it's frickin' useless.

This made me laugh out loud:

"Highlights" from Dubya's visit, as covered by the local newspaper:( Read more... )

Dark Heresy was mighty! My commissar normal member of the Imperial Guard smites corrupted badness very efficiently :D Burn it with FIRE!!

And now, sleep, for tomorrow (eeek, today... oops) is Maelstrom and my coach leaves at 8.50am :O I must be awake enough to inflict my doomy long sermon I wrote earlier on the Smithites :D :D

Back on internets on Monday! *flops*

Rob's going to be home really late tonight... He hasn't left Mclean, Virginia, which is 2 hours away... I think I'm going to wrestle myself some dinner soon...

Feel free to make this into a meme... But I was just thinking that there are a few books I've read in the last year that I wish everyone--okay, let me rephrase: everyone at least in USA, as these books might not apply to people who live elsewhere--would read. Here's the list:

• "Why So Slow? The Advancement of Women", by Virginia Valian


• "Lifting the White Veil: An Exploration of White American Culture in a Multiracial Context", by Jeff Hitchcock


• "The Real Wealth of Nations: Creating a Caring Economics", by Riane Tennenhaus Eisler


• "Bridging the Class Divide: And Other Lessons for Grassroots Organizing", by Linda Stout

I'd like to include a book about ableism and homophobia, but I haven't found ones I've liked so far... What would be on your list? (Oh, and if the books on your list can be found via inter-library loan, I'll promise to read them at some point, too.)