| I do NOT want kids . com !! (100% FREE Dating site) |
[Apr. 22nd, 2008|01:24 pm] |
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I do NOT want kids . com !! (100% FREE Dating site)
------------------------------------------------------------- The world's only 100% free CHILDFREE dating site for the select few that do NOT have or want kids: www.IdoNOTwantKids.com Child free dating. Instant full membership. No games. ( Just my way of trying to find, and helping others like me, find someone on this planet that does NOT have or want kids. )  |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|10:03 pm] |
Someone told me to bring it here, even though this community is dead. I rarely post, so I decided to whore myself around.
You sexy bitches you.
The Set-up: The other day I was riding the bus home from work. I have a condition that causes vertigo and I have to be very careful about where I sit or else I get dizzy, queasy, and possibly throw up. I'm new to Seattle, and also this whole bus thing, so I'm still working out the kinks. A mother and her pre-teen son got on and asked if they could sit where I was sitting. I told her about my condition and they decided to sit towards the back, in the seats that were along the side.
WWCFHD?
Okay, so I have this totally SERIOUS CONDITION right? Like, it's awful and I'm never having kids because of it. Like, what if I'm holding the baby and I fall over, or it wants to ride a roller-coaster and I can't? I'd totally be an unfit parent because of it.
Anyway, so I'm on my way home from work and at the Space Needle stop this stupid fat moo with her stupid fat over-grown crotchfruit get on. And they're being all loud and shit, like I want to listen to their mindless prattle. They were so fat I bet they were talking about food anyway.
So the dumb bitch moo comes up to me, obviously a worthless tourist, comes up to me and demands that I give up my seat. "LOOK AT MAH HANDSOME SUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S TOO PRECIWOUS TO STAND ON THE BUS!!!!!!!!"
"Look bitch" I say, rising up to my thin, lithe, gorgeous height of seven feet tall, "fattums could use the exercise. Also, I have a condition that will cause me to vomit all over your precious chyuld if I am forced to move from this, the only spot on the bus."
Then, as the bus magically arrived at my stop, she threw a punch at me. I shoved her backwards and she exploded under the pressure of her own fat. As I pranced off the bus into the arms of my hunk of a boyfriend I saw her fat little orphan bastard crying while strangers lectured him about proper nutrition.
Then I had lots of kinky sex. Parents don't have sex.
The End. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2007|01:02 am] |
So this afternoon, I went to my sister's bridal shower and one of the games we played was designing a wedding dress out of toilet paper, tape, and ribbon.
Well, my team's was the awesomest- I was the model- and we should totally have won, except that the model for another team's was this little brat. Everyone thought she was just the cutest little thing, plus nobody wanted her to have a tantrum over not winning (and she WOULD have, kid was a brat).
It was obviously unfair to everyone, considering my dress was CLEARLY the best, so I called them out on it and got my sister to admit that my dress should have won, and the 'winning' team got their prizes taken away and given to my team, and when the brat tried to throw a fit, she got sent to bed without any supper.
What's the word for that?
Oh yeah, PWNED! |
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| Imma crosspostin mah comments |
[Apr. 9th, 2007|06:10 pm] |
Having been linked to here from customers_suck...specifically this pile of fail, and seeing that this community fits in nicely with my comment on that story...a crosspost.
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Once upon a time a customer came up to me and was all like "WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR GRAVY" and I was like "THERE WAS NO PLEASE ON THE END OF THAT SENTENCE" and I was all like "YOU SHOULD BE MORE POLITE" and then this kid on Heelies flew over and kicked me in the face and I was all like "IMMA STEALIN UR SHOOES SHOOP DA WHOOP" and i took his shoes and threw them into the sun before punching him repeatedly in the balls, then when the mother came over to complain and was all like "YOU JUST KNOCKED DOWN MY SON AND TOOK HIS SHOES AND THROUGH THEM INTO THE SUN" I got all my friends to come over and buggerrape her to death while I threw fireballs at her and ate roast unicorn sandwiches.
--
The above story was 10 million times more believable than the one I linked to, at any rate. |
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| More crotch Droppings! |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|06:34 pm] |
true story:
I was at Barnes and noble and this rather cute little boy who may've been a year old stared at me for a minute or so and I smiled and nodded.
Crazy child free spin zone( title unlovingly ripped off from Bill O' Reily)
But I just have to tell you about this incident the other day, I just hafta!
I was at barnes and noble, looking at music books when this lil goblin who was one year old kept starin at me! OMG! Stalker! Fortunately, IT stopped lookin at me after a few seconds, the nasty bugger |
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| Hey y'all! |
[Feb. 13th, 2007|05:37 pm] |
So, like, today I was walking from my class: I had been hittin the vodka bottle pretty hard in the last hour (I snuck into my sociology clazz! Omg!!1111) Suddenly, this little demonspawn with an ugly hat races across MY path and his ugly cunt momma lifts him up and lets him get a drink of water! WTF??! He stepped in my way! I soooo wanted to smack the little...thing and beat the mother bloody! How dare they interrupt my day! HOW DARE THEY!
thank you for your time |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2007|10:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Metallica - Wasting My Hate | ] |
Wow, this place is quiet. Let's liven things up a bit!
So today I was sitting in my car on a garage forecourt and some teenage boys passed by, tossing a ball of tinfoil between them. One of them did a kind of a skip and a jump move, and in doing so put his hand on my bonnet to get more lift. I was a little annoyed, but there was no damage to the car, so, no big deal, not worth making a fuss over.
But if I were freetarded...
( Read more... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2006|05:20 pm] |
bdectector said i'd be loved here. Here's my post from Childfree that was truly HATED and got me banned 4 eva
I hate kids
Yesterday, I went to Starbucks with my sister, Sharmie. I go to Starbucks after 2 times a day for their delicious pumpkin spice coffee, and just bask in the ambiance- childfree, newspapers, artsy pictures on the walls, sexy baristas- I love Starbucks.
But on this Saturday morning, my trip to Starbuck's was RUINED by some CHILD. Or as I like to call them, Biology's Little Fuck Ups.
I sat down with my delicious drink, and immediately I hear a child banging on one of the comfortable loveseats Starbucks supplies its ADULT, CAFFEINE DRINKING patrons with.
The kid is a menace. He's sporting a mohawk, JEAN JACKET and JEANS. He snarls whenever I look at him. His parents drink their coffee, without looking at the child. I am PISSED!
So, I get up and confront the parents
"WHY DONT YOU CONTROL THIS DEMON SPAWN?" I scream, angrily shaking my coffee, which spilled onto the mother's hand
"You bastard. You burned my hand!" She screamed, then pushed me. I backed into the coffee table, knocking over a Mitch Albom book and sending my 3.00 cookie flying to the floor.
"Your child is rude and disrespectful! He should not be in that seat! It should be reserved for an ADULT who drinks coffee and reads the Boston Herald!" I yelled, while picking up the pieces of my destroyed cookie.
The child began to cry, which meant I was victorious. The mother asked the barista for ice, and I laughed.
"Next time, dont bring a kid into an adult's place" I whispered to her.
It was a good day :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2006|03:08 pm] |
I am doing this backwards.
I was walking in the mall with my boyfriend. He gave me a quick poke and I yelped and someone passed by us, giving us a funny look.
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So I was walking with my boyfriend, hand in hand, at the mall. All of the sudden a freetard comes up to me.
"You insipid fool!" she screamed, "your heterosexual bond is reinforcing society's exploitation of your overies! MOO IN WAITING!"
My boyfriend and I look at eachother, confused as to who this nut is and why is she screaming at us.
"What?" he said in respons, "Huh, wha, er, what?"
"You are forcing your seed onto her so you can control her body and make her suffer," she started again, "you're poisoning our society with your crotch droppings!"
So I roundhouse kicked her in the head and it totally exploded. The security guard was understanding and gave us a $400 mall coupon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2006|01:45 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
We have to get this guy over here. He'd liven this place up for sure!
P.S. For added amusement, check out his journal, but make sure you have swallowed any beverage you might be consuming beforehand. It's a choking hazard. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2006|08:19 pm] |
So, the other day I was at the children’s hospital, as I am one year underage and still fit the criteria, and it being the best hospital in my area. I was seated, waiting for the little buzzer they handed out to go off so I would know the doctor was ready. There was a lady with a baby near me that I talked to for a while, her baby had to go to the same ward I did. Its top lip was going up, and the doctor was going to fix it. She got buzzed in and left to see the doctor.
Now, through the eyes of CF
I was in this hospital, and there were crotch dropping EVERYWHERE!! I couldn't go to a hospital with rules against those overgrown qeefs BY LAW! Even though 17 is totally an adult, they think it's old enough to make more babies! Last time I had gone to the doctor, they had gassed me and shoved 20 fetuses into my ovaries! Luckily, I woke up and performed an abortion on myself with the now-dead doctors’ knife. And when I got in...there were whales! Giraffes! Toy blocks! It was all I could not to take them and shove them up the moos vaginas, to keep them from letting their duhs stick their babyshooting guns up there. I sat down as far away from the noise as I could, praying that the huge plastic whale hanging from the ceiling would fall and squish them all. When this HUGEASS MOO starts walking up to me. I try to tell her to get her fattass and her brokenmouthed demi-human away from me BUT SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN! SHE KEPT YAMMERING ON ABOUT HER BAAAYBEEE! I thought I got relief when she got buzzed and let in. That’s when I realized something. Lots of the cretins had been in too see the doctor while I was waiting, none that had arrived after me, but I'm sure they were next. Its then that I knew what was going on. The doctors were leaving me to DIE OUT HERE BECAUSE I REFUSE TO BE PART OF THEIR OVERPOPUGANDA! I did the only thing I could; I immediately grabbed the baby, and then stole its buzzer. The moo started to protest when I immediately karate kicked her hellhole! I did it in such away she can't ever pollute the world again!!!
Some of the brats started crying, but I remedied that by ripping the hospital gowns off their weak and diseased frames, then took off my belt and proceeded to whip THEIR genetalia, preventing them from making the same mistakes their parents made! I stood up on the nurses’ desk, and spread the news! The news that it was better to never have children! My speech was so moving, all the moos and duhs applauded me! Immediately taking their sproglets out of the hospital, letting them die naturally! |
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| Back from vacation |
[Jun. 27th, 2006|09:06 am] |
It was awful. From the moment I got to the airport, I was surrounded by nothing but crotchdroppings left, right, and center. It was like that for the whole weekend -- everywhere I went, everything I visited, every local attraction I tried to enjoy -- kids! Everywhere!
On the last day, there was even a woman sitting across from me who had the gall to breastfeed an actual baby! I mean, she covered him with a blanket, but I knew what she was doing, even if I couldn't see it. I do not go on vacation to be forced to watch such blatant displays of wanton sexuality.
( I may never go back there. ) |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2006|09:36 pm] |
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call "cracked out."
It's time for another WWCFHD! *a few weak cheers*
The real situation:
A few weeks ago, I was driving back from Sonic around the time that the public schools were letting out. There's an elementary school close by my apartment, and as I got closer, I had to slow down to 25. When I got to a crosswalk, a group of kids was ready to cross, and the guard moved across with his handy-dandy stop sign. Cars from all directions halted, the kids crossed, the guard slowly moved back to his post, and we all went on our merry way again.
But if I were freetarded:
( Read more... ) |
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