Don't you hate it when people act like you 'wouldn't know' certain things because you don't have kids?

(And yes, there ARE things that childfree people won't know about, but I'm not talking about those particular situations!)

Someone at my work sent a mass email out to everyone (about something work-related). Also in the email, she said something along the lines of, 'If you're married or have children, you'll know that...." Then she went on to say something funny about human behavior, I can't even remember it now exactly, but I'm single/childfree and I could relate to what she said as well. Thanks for leaving me out!

UN: Fight climate change with free condoms

( Cut for those who don't want to lose this place )

Hey, it's at least a step. And "curbing the fertility?" How about adding "protecting them from whatever disease a cheating spouse brings home?"

I don't post here much, but I thought this time I'd make an exception.

I'm a member of the Courage Campaign email list, and today they sent me a notice about the Stupak Amendment. Their own wording about the Stupak Amendment is this:

The House amendment would tell women who participate in the new health insurance exchange that they can't even use their own funds to buy a policy that includes abortion coverage.

In short, the Stupak Amendment would take away health insurance coverage that women already have. This would be a huge step back for women's health.

I know this is a big deal for those of us who are CF. The right to terminate a pregnancy, and to have health care coverage that allows you to do so, is a right that we should keep.

There's a petition up here: http://action.barbaraboxer.com/page/s/fightforwomen - on the webpage of California Senator Barbara Boxer, asking that any inclusion of this amendment be disallowed. This is a petition headed by a Senator. If any petition will get an ear on the Hill, this one might be it.

Occasionally, I have moments when I see/read something and think, "Hmm, I bet this would make for an interesting discussion over at childfree..." Had one of those this morning.

My college has two blood-mobiles on campus today for blood donations. On the side of one of the RVs, it says, "Give blood. Give life." in big letters and it has a ginormous picture of a baby's face.

Now, I have no problem with the baby being a baby, it was minorly cute, whatever. But I wondered... why did they choose to put a baby on the side of the blood-mobile to inspire people to donate? The other RV had a man, woman, and child, but the first one has just a big baby face.

I can't quite organize my own thoughts about what it implies, but I'm interested to hear everyone else's.

I'm getting a tattoo next week, probably.:D I'm going with one of my friends who has eight already. He's getting another one and letting me watch before I take the plunge and get mine.

I've wanted this specific tattoo since early 2007. I know where I want it, and what I want it to look like, and the feeling hasn't faded in that time.

I mentioned this to a friend, who knows all my plans about it, and has listened to me talk about it for almost three years now. He said that he thinks it's just a phase and I'll regret it when I'm older. He can't stand tattoos. He's also never had a serious relationship, and wants children. It's his only goal. I told him that he might well regret having them, and with a tattoo, I'd have complete control. It wouldn't involve another person, and it's entirely about me. I've done my best to make sure the process goes exactly as I've planned, and it will look exactly how I want. I've thought about how it will fit into my future life - if I'll want to cover it for weddings, or whatever (I won't, it'll be on my inner thigh). I bet that's more thought than most people put into their children.

From FML:

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

There would be no words for the rage I'd feel if my mother - or anyone - ever did that to me. The comments are also headdesk worthy.

For reasons thankfully non-fatal, I ended up being carted off in an ambulance last week with horrific chest pain, heart issues and thinking I was honestly going to die.
Turned out to be an infection near the heart which is getting a lot better now, but scared the crap out of my husband seeing an ambulance with lights and sirens going coming to collect me.
I'm going to leave aside for now my (newly pregnant) sister's response to all this that I was just making up drama to take attention away from HER and her forthcoming sprog announcement that was the day previous (yes I am ignoring her for now after that) and go straight to today, my first day back at work since that incident.

The first words out of my HR contact's mouth when I filed my sick leave form were - "Severe pain? Oh honey, you don't know severe pain until you've given birth!".

I'm fucking sick of this pain one-upmanship bullshit, I even got it from my sister too who reckons her childbirth will be far more agonising than anything I've had to deal with for the last 10 years (spinal injury, rheumatoid arthritis, endometriosis). It's a different pain ffs - no labour EVER lasts for 10 years straight and the mental skills you have to develop to get you through pain that you know is never going to end is something you cannot EVER understand until you are in those shoes.

I kept my temper in the office by simply walking off but I'm going to rant here. For once and for all can we as women across the country STOP belittling any other type of agony by telling someone it's nowhere near as bad as your childbirth/labour/whatever. I'm so fucking sick of this shit.

I've had three (real-life) friends tell me that if they had to do things over again they would choose not to have children. They all three have grown up kids although one had another child in her forties and now has a nine year old. They weren't wishing their kids away or anything, just simply stating it as a fact.

I was pretty flabbergasted - but in a good way. I know plenty of women who are not natural mothers - my own mother included. Not bad or bitter or resentful by any means, just clearly not interested beyond the basics.

Have any of you guys had friends say something like this to you? What was your reaction?

I am currently feeling a little frustrated at people's lack of TACT when it comes to other people's reproductive choices!
My cousin (who is a little over 30 years old and have been married for 2 years) posted on her facebook yesterday on how she passed her exam and also finished a game. She talked of how happy she is to take these two things off her 'to do list'. Then out of NOWHERE...a friend of hers commented with this:

"So when is the having a baby going to be on the to-do list?"
Wha...wha....?? How is that even RELEVANT???? And then this conversation ensues...I added some notes in between with ( ) to clarify some stuff.

Cousin (who doesn't want kids): Now that truly will require divine intervention.
'Friend': ermmm .. that, u hv to seduce John (cousin's husband).. no divine intervention will required
Cousin: You think?
'Friend': well...you don't think so?
Cousin: look how long it took us to get married... everything move in turtle speed... (aka it's a bit too soon even if she does want kids...which she doesn't)
'Friend': that was cos' the 2 of u were physically apart (They were in two different provinces when they were going out).. now that u're living in the same house, there shld be no more excuses

"Excuses"? "EXCUSES"???? Who does that person think she is?! Why does my cousin need EXCUSES to not have a kid, or not have a kid yet! Why is it her business!!

I couldn't help it and added in a comment
Me: Jackie, I say take your time! There's no pressure~ Enjoy your time together as a couple alone. Though I plan on doing that forever, as I am childfree (do no want kids).
=) Kids are a choice, not a must.

Cousin: Try saying that to my dad... I am feeling the heat.

Me: Jackie, I can imagine how much pressure you must be having! But you know, despite other people's comments, in the end this is YOUR life and YOUR choice that they have no part in. Never give in to pressure with decisions as big as this, whether is its 'are you having kids' or 'WHEN are you having kids'. I'm already feeling a bit pressure on my side but I am not budging XD


Hopefully that'll help take off a LITTLE bit of the pressure of her back. She's being pressured so much ever since she was married...by her parents, in-laws, friends, all pestering her to have kids because she 'isn't getting any younger'. >=( She doesn't even want kids, she wants to focus on her career. But either way, people can sure be rude and downright personal when it comes to other people's choices >=(

So, yesterday I went to the store (had to get some three-minute miracle because my hair decided it doesn't like being cherry red) and while I was in line, a little kid ahead of me kept staring at my bright n' fried hair. Though someone had a ridiculous cartful and there was only one available register, everyone was waiting patiently in line when a woman with a handful of items ahead of me said to her son "OH! THESE ARE ON SALE!? HONEY, GO RUN AND GET MORE!" (in reference to some paperplates) right as it was her turn to pay. Now me, already being late and not wanting to miss the next bus to work, I was about to throw my aussie at her head and pray for her quick death so I could get on with mt Saturday. Plus, I remembered when my mom would do this to me and I'd be both embarrassed and pissed off. Her son, who looked about six, looked back at me and said "But mom, she only has one item and I don't know where to find those plates". His mom shot him a dirty look, then peeked at me to see if I'd heard, which I made clear I did with a smile and a tentative step forward. She said "Well, we got in line first so it doesn't really matter, now does it?" (Once again, narrowly avoided killing her with the aussie...) to which he replied "But ma, that's stupid", and he actually tugged on my shirt to pull me forward (which actually freaked me out). His mom shoved all her stuff on the counter and said "I said go get more plates! Hurry, they're next to the soda, run!". The kid did end up running, and he came back as her last item got scanned, so I can't really bitch, but it did make me wonder:
How do bad parents make good kids?. I mean, his mom clearly wasn't the most gracious person (Though how am I to know she wasn't having a long day, or some other time constraint) but he was so kind. Until I got to work and a baby threw up, I actually had positive feelings toward kids (in a general sense, not a spawning them one).

Anyway, that was more or less a long-winded story on appreciating the 10% of kids that aren't horrible brats.

Story of lolz

( EXCUSE ME!!!! )

I just saw this article posted on a forum I am on. What is wrong with people??? I can't even begin to imagine what goes through people's heads when they do things like this.


"A mother of seven is accused of running a house of horrors for pets at her suburban Long Island home, forcing her children to help torture them and burying at least 20 dogs in her backyard — animals neighbors now fear were beloved pets that mysteriously disappeared over the years."

full article here- news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091112/ap_on_re_us/us_suburban_pet_torture

I may be 22 years old and childfree, but I would be so proud to call this child my son.

http://www.arktimes.com/articles/articleviewer.aspx?ArticleID=2f5d7a3b-c72a-446b-8d20-3823aa79c021

He wins on so many levels.

( text behind cut for linkophobes )

This week my roommate and I went to Toys R Us for the Arceus (Pokémon) event they're having and also to just geek out about toys. (for the record, I'm 21 and she's 23)

The store was pretty empty. While we were standing there loading the Pokémon onto our systems this lady nearby kept going ON and ON about her pregnancy, and her sentences always started like this:

"When IIII was pregnant, blah blah blah..."

( I warn you all now: what my roommate said wasn't very nice and is a very sensitive topic and is offensive. But I thought it was hilarious.  )

I posted before about my brother and his issues this weekend I will really need some serious lip biting to make it though. I'll try and keep it brief.( Wish I was joking )

Hello all! I was reading this community this morning as i'm drinking my coffee (so apologies in advance) and my mind was wandering...I was thinking about how ridiculous the whole CF arguments are most of the time, and thought "what if you just changed the context?" and came up with this:

"So when are you going to get an SUV?"
"Oh, i don't want an SUV."
"WHAT? OMG, you HATE SUVs?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?? You're un-American!"
"No, i like SUVs just fine... i just don't want one of my own. I prefer economical sedans."
"But SUVs are great! You don't know what you're missing! You'll change your mind!"
"They're very expensive though... they use a lot of gas, they need more maintenance than just an economical little 4-door. Plus, i don't like being up that high when i drive. It makes me uncomfortable and i choose not to have one. I would rather have a car."
"OMG, you'll change your mind. I know better, and i say you should have an SUV."

Or some such. When put into that context, maybe the breeders will realize how pushy they are...?

This was on the msn website when I signed into msn today. I should have known better than to click, but I did it anyway. How to deal with a suprise pregnancy

No where is termination mentioned except as a negative. All the women interviewed just sucked it up and learned to love it. Whomever wrote this article even suggested a woman to a therapist to learn to accept her pregnancy, not to help her weigh her options and come to the decision that is best for her. I hate articles like this, they reinforce the conclusion that all women, no matter what the circumstances, will love being mothers. That this is every woman's destiny, that motherhood is monolithic etc. etc. ad nauseum.

I hate the overall tone of the article, it's an irritating mix of condescension and Jesus-talk.

I should point out that that I feel that if a woman becomes accidentally pregnant, and decides to carry the foetus to term, and is happy about this decision, that's great. It's just not the only option.

Like I said, I should have known better, but I am something of a masochist.

For those who wish to read but not to click ( Read more... )

Oh, and by the way, I'm Andréa, long time lurker, first time poster.

Your plans are RUINED.

So my sister was supposed to fly in for a family wedding and a graduation party all in one weekend. We were going to hit the town for drinks and go shopping and do lunch and you know, the list goes on.  She was coming by herself and leaving the kids at home so there's no FUSS and no HASSLE and she could fricken do what she wanted for a short time of a couple days. She has a nanny for them while she and hubby work. Well, guess what. The nanny picked the perfect time to QUIT and decide she wanted to go back home. (She has been a live-in for 6 months.)
Now my sister has had to cancel her flight and all her weekend plans to just stay home. Because no one will be able to watch the kids.

I swear to God, why do people have kids? Don't they realize they can never do anything on their own EVER AGAIN??? Screw ever leaving the house, aka slavehood,  because you're STUCK.

This just horrifies me.

It was a nice autumn day outside yesterday, so I decided to take Yoshi and Ayla (my shiba inus) for a walk around one of the local parks. We were having a wonderful & relaxing time walking through the fallen leaves, looking at the lake, and Ayla wanting to eat the geese haha, until we had to deal with these 2 little girls (I would guess around 8 and 9 years old).

They came CHARGING at us out of nowhere, squealing "PUUUUPPIES! PUUUUPPIES! OMG PUPPIES!!!!" and literally threw themselves at my Shibas without even asking if they were friendly.

I know that neither of them has aggression, and Ayla was actually thrilled and happily frolicking around the kids, but Yoshi is very shy and gets stressed around loud kids. He ran and hid behind me as I tried to be nice and told the girls to please back off b/c Yoshi is shy and does not like people rushing at him.

Well, usually when I tell over-excited kids to leave the dog alone they listen. Not these girls.

As soon as I told them that Yoshi is shy and nervous and to leave him alone, they both went right for him!!! Grabbing and petting and insisting that "they can make Yoshi like them!"

So I had to try again, No do not bother him, he is very nervous. I was down on the ground shielding my dogs from these kids trying to keep them off without luck. They were like parasites.

SOOOOO the one girl GRABS HIS LEASH and yanks him towards her and tries to hug him!
I made her let go and backed away, but they kept provoking.
THEN they asked me "Can we walk them?" and I said no. And they did not understand why, even after explaining that they shouldn't walk strange dogs, and the dogs can run away, etc.... they would not understand why I would not let them take Yoshi and Ayla for a walk.

So the mother comes by... and she is unfortunately just as dumb as the kids (surprise...) and whatever I said, she just giggled and thought it was cute how her kids were acting!!!

Finally, the kids asked me... "Can we have one?"
WTF...??? they were serious.
I said no way I am ever giving away my dogs. And they pestered some more "Well, which one don't you like? We can take the one you like least!" And- still trying to remain civil, but firm, I told them I love my dogs equally and would never give them up for anything...
the mother was continuing to chuckle like it was sooooo cuuuuute.
So I was finally able to walk away without them following me.

What rude kids, and rude mom. God forbid I had an aggressive dog who bit them while they were forcing themselves at them. My dog would have to be put to sleep because of someone else's poorly raised kids. Parents don't teach their kids any kind of respect or manners anymore. Thankfully my dogs aren't aggressive, but Yoshi is very shy and nervous, and gets so stressed and shaky when put in a situation like that.

I really wish I could have been meaner to the kids... however, all I could think was that I work in an elementary school in town, and need to keep my temper with the local children, especially since the mother did not see anything wrong with how they were acting.

So, I was surfing through ONTD and came across this article...

( For those who want to read the article and not the link... )

The ensuing wank is hilarious. Of course you have the few people who say it's selfish to have kids as old as Rene is, the women who "need" IVF because they can't get pregnant, etc. I thought maybe you guys would get a kick out of it :P