So, the boyfriend and I went to see The Dark Knight last night.  We went to a 10:50 p.m. showing and arrived a little later than most of the other people, so we had to crawl over some people who were already seated so that we wouldn't have to gape at the screen from the front row (sorry people I had to crawl over!).

As I was apologizing a moving across other patrons I notice in the aisle only a couple of rows behind where we are trying to sit is a baby carrier in which is lying a sleeping baby.

WTF!?!  To be fair, the baby didn't make any noise despite the movie being of the incredibly loud variety, but who takes their baby to a 10:50 p.m. showing of the most terrifying movie I've seen in theater since I can't remember when (and I'm pretty unshockable).

Part of me has pity on the stupid parents.  So many people are going to take their six-year old Batman loving kids to see that movie because Hey! There's toys for it, so it must be for kids!  But then the other part of me thinks they deserve for not being able to read movie reviews beforehand or observe the MPAA rating system.

Ok, so here's the story. Friends of ours give us a call and invite us over because they are going to do a barbecue after a fellow stops by and picks up some miniatures our friend had painted for him. The way it sounded to me, the guy was going to come over and get his mini's and would probably be gone by the time we get there, since it was never hinted that it would be more than just them and us. Well... I should have remembered it is wrong to assume. We stop at the store to pick up dessert (we are good guests and asked if there was anything we could bring) and go over to our friends. Next to the space where I usually park is a truck from NY (I'm in NJ, but North enough that it's not strange to see NY plates). I don't think anything of it. Well, we go in, and our friend meets us in the kitchen, puts the parts of dessert that need to be refridgerated in the fridge, and then bring us into the living room. Well, not only is the fellow who is getting his mini's still there, he's with his wife, and 3 week old baby! Um... it would have been nice if someone mentioned there were going to be a baby around. My wife and I are childfree after all. Our friends KNOW we don't like/aren't comfortable around babies and TA DA, here one is. Well, that wouldn't have been a big deal until our friend proceeded to say the one thing that royally pissed my wife (and to a lesser extent myself) off. "Oh, did you notice we aren't smoking because the baby is around?" Um... WTF? You KNOW my wife and I are both asthmatics, and are allergic to smoke, but you don't make concessions for us. Yet when the BAAA BEE is around you don't smoke. Well, to make an already long story a bit shorter, we made an excuse and got the hell out of dodge. Now, before people go off on me for suggesting that they should have smoked around the baby, that is not the case. I just felt that it was only because a BAA BEE was around that they finally took into consideration the health effects their smoking has on the people around them.

Sorry for the length of this rant, but it really makes me wonder if I can ever truely be close friends with another couple who don't practice our child free lifestyle.....

Inspired by unfinishedch80.

I've read the posts in this community from time to time about dating and remaining childfree. Most of those posts, I've observed, are made by those in their 20s.

Me? I just turned 40. I'm a year removed from a relationship that I thought would be The One. He was perfect for me--loves traveling, doesn't want kids--or so I thought. I'll spare everyone the details; if you really want to know them, you can read my personal LJ.

The thing is, how does one find a childfree man at 40? It seems everyone my age has at least one child, and nothing makes me cringe more than hearing about how a potential date's child lives with his mother, or is away at college. Is there a way to find someone without resorting to ::shudder:: internet dating? Or should I just write any man with a kid as a fling and be on my way? Any advice would be appreciated.

Also, I remember there being a childfree 30+ community on LJ, but I've been unable to find it. Is it still around and/or active?

Is anyone else out there...

- childfree and an academic? (where academic = a professor or in the process of becoming one (ie, grad student)) The Chronicle of Higher Education has columns nearly every week about balancing motherhood and career in academia, but I think a more interesting question is how friendly or not academe is to childfree women.

- childfree and single-by-choice? I think I get bingoed pretty much equally for both (ie "What do you mean, you don't ever plan to get married?")

We were talking about pregnancies and how some people just make their pregnancies to be a big deal and that the community has to give her money to raise the child. (We saw a money collection jar on the counter of a store we went to, I read the label that was on it. A mother who has almost no money and five other kids to raise and feed, was looking for help to help her latest unborn child who she needs more money to feed as she lost her job and her husband died recently. Please help me.) I told that to mom after we left the place.

This was my mom's comment which I really like. "Pregnancy is a choice you make when you screw without protection of any kind along with STDs! You must be prepared to care for all your kids and don't depend on handouts from others for what is your choice that you made by getting pregnant again."

Usually, mom is a very pro-child adult. But of late, she has gotten a childfree mindset or one that likes the choice. She loves all three of her kids dearly, even if one of the kids is in heaven. She likes my choice of being childfree.

Then, later, we were talking about how people think that pregnancies is a disease or at least a handicap. She made another good comment. "If you think pregnancy is a disease, the condoms and the birth control pills that is out there along with sterilizations are the preventive cure of that disease."

I couldn't help but to smile and say right on, mom!

So, i came across something funny to share... I was skimming through The Simple Dollar's 100 Things to do During a Money-Free Weekend and found myself laughing out loud to myself upon reading #77:


77. Hold a baby. To me, there are few things more enjoyable than holding a very young baby. They smell wonderful, are usually warm and soft, and often drift right off to sleep in your arms. I don’t even mind the crying ones, as some whispering in their ear can usually calm them down. There’s nothing better than sitting all relaxed in a chair with a soft, sweet-smelling newborn in your arms.

HA! i could think of so many things that are, in fact, much better than holding a baby. but i won't go there. it just cracked me up, so i had to pass it on.

We're closing soon on a 40 acre parcel near Big Bay MI (in the upper peninsula, maybe 25 miles from Marquettte MI, and Northern Michigan Univ.). 

We're putting in a bare bones cabin, no electric, no running water, etc.  I was looking around in that area for a place that my parents could stay if they wanted to see the place, since they dont "rough it". 

I found a neat looking bed and breakfast that's in a converted lighthouse building.  The rooms have a view of Lake Superior, and

NO CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 16 ARE ALLOWED!!!!!!!


I've never been there.  I cant guarantee quality.  But, if anyone's interested in more info, the website is here


I'll be encouraging folks to patronize them, because that's definitely the type of business i want to support. 


Does the memories section have a place for us to list childfree vacation spots, hotels, etc.  I'd love to start compiling a list!

You guys who have family who understand you... you're so lucky. You have no idea.

My mother is now obsessed because my cousin is hiring a lawyer so that her 15yo daughter will have fill custody of her bastard child and raise it without a father. My mother is obsessed because my cousin is raising another baby instead of focusing on her 5 other younger children and not forcing her 15yo-adult-child to grow up and take responsibilities. My mother's obsessed...

You get the idea. I could care less but all I hear mom ranting about now these days is that bastard baby. And if I won't listen then she calls someone and her voice carries, people. It carries. She is so loud.

The other night you know what she told me? "Fine, you feel like you don't need a man in your life then use a sperm bank. That way you don't have a father to hurt. That way it's all anonymous and the man won't even know he has a kid."

I told her "I already told you but you never listen- I don't want kids. Even if I do when I'm older, much older, I'm adopting."

I've told her this since I was in middle school. I'm 27 now.

She replies "I know, whatever. I'm just saying. Sperm bank."

... this is just a reminder that unfortunately, Amendment 48 has made it the Colorado ballot.

the amendment suggests that the definition of a person be changed so that abortions will be banned in Colorado. it's my understanding that rape cases and instances where the woman's health will be at risk if she goes through with the pregnancy, will not be exceptions. this would also ultimately affect access to things like Plan B.

not that any of you really need a reminder, but what the hell? Please vote NO on Amendment 48, come November.

i'm still shocked that this even made it to the ballot. i can't even think of much to say right now.

Mods, please feel free to delete if this isn't appropriate.

Twentyone years and I still have yet to get preggers. Considering most of the people I knew in high school are parents by now, most of them by accident, I'm very proud of myself. Yay childfreedom!
I can go out jetskiing with my friends without having to worry about what the kids could be doing on shore.
I can go out to the bar with my boyfriend without having to worry about finding a babysitter.
I can go to dinner and a movie without worrying about how the kids are going to behave.
Childfree birthdays for the win!

"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"

As with every summer, my workplace is having a teenager problem.  I work at a convenience store, and these kids loiter at all hours.  These aren't just normal kids who just need a place to hang.  I know I live in a podunk town with nothing to do.  No, these are kids where this is basically their life, they sit outside all day, screaming and cursing and being a general nuisance.  Basically we're like the town babysitters for kids who should be old enough to know better.

We've been getting complaints from customers, including people who live nearby saying they're tired of the late night yelling.  Well, my co worker who is somewhat acquainted with many of these teens goes out and politely asks them to quiet down and watch their language.  She wasn't rude to them, nor did she just have them get lost.  They had permission to remain as long as they behaved.  They start screeching at her like a bunch of harpies because how dare anyone request they behave themselves.  A few of them followed her home that night to confront her.  The next day someone drew a penis on one of the windows along with a lovely message to my co worker.   

It's been getting worse, they followed another one of my co workers home, and if they're anywhere downtown and see these co workers they start screaming insults.  My co workers are ready to file restraining orders and my boss is going to the police station to have the cops talk with these ghetto brats and inform them that they are banned.  Mind you these kids are in the 16-21 age range.  We see a lot of their parents, but good luck talking to them, many of them are just as trashy as their offspring. 

In other news, my former room mate is a father, and is working hard at being a PNB.  That's not the issue here, kudos to him for actually being a father and not just another duhddy like a lot of men his age around here.   The issue is that now there's all these baby-rabies infected little girls following him around wondering if he's single because they've seen his twin daughters and want cute babies too.  He's outright disturbed by this since he is with the mother of his daughters and not just some random sperm donor like these girls are looking for.

I can't wait to finish college and get the money to get out of this town, it's too trashy.  I know that wherever you go there will be white trash, but the concentration of it here is just so high.  I want to live in a place where it's easier to avoid.

My best friend, god love her.. sent me this link.  She has 4 girls (all i can say is thank GOD that I dont.. I love them but I can send them home..).. and eats at this place all the time in South Carolina.  First off, where were the parents???  and the dude, washing the windows, would SO be me, snickering and laughing at the stupidity of the child...and then .. the mom just takes her kid and leaves?  i'm sure she got a cookie or something for coming out of the damn machine...

Ok, am I wrong to think that the lunchroom is NOT the place to have intimate discussions about childbirthing medical procedures? I mean, I am not going to discuss in details my colonoscapy or gall bladder surgery in the lunch room... because... IT MIGHT GROSS OUT THE PEOPLE EATING THERE! Why then do the new breeder moo-mies feel the need to go into the lovely details of c-sections and so on? WTF!!!!! To be honest, I work in the HR department, and I think it's a bit inappropriate... but of course I can't complain because I'm male. UGH!

Hi all:

This is my first post here, and in lieu of a formal introduction, may I direct your attention to cracked.com's "20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants"? I got a good laugh out of this. #9 especially makes me want to throw up, but also makes me very glad that children are nowhere to be found in my future.

Enjoy!

http://www.cracked.com/article_16475_20-baby-products-great-traumatizing-infants.html

Neil Cavuto and Mary Alice Carr vs. psycho that demands that a LOVELY new oral contraceptive (that would pretty much eliminate a period. Srsly. How awesome would that be?) be banned from ever being produced because the women taking it would "be just like men"

check it out, there's a video, along with a transcript.

http://thinkprogress.org/2007/05/24/birth-control-unruh/

Edit: I've been reposting that birth control ban article around, and my own friends (some of whom AREN'T childfree) are pissed just as much as we are.

Ok, so anyone that knows me well enough will tell you that I hate, loathe, and otherwise despise doctors. Other then the folks at PP, I've yet to meet a person in the medical field who is competent. 


Anywhoo, the people at Planned Parenthood are totally the exception. I went in this afternoon to change my birth control. Long story short , the patch isn't working for me so I'm gonna switch to the pill. So I got that all taken care of, and as I was leaving the room I asked the doc if she knew how old I have to be before they'll referr me for a tubal. I told her that I'm childfree, and that I really hate kids, and all that jazz. Her reaction was great. She laughed, and said-

"Well then, we really need to get you taken care of, don't we?"

And then she gave me the name of two doctors who work out of my city and told me to call them because they'll probably be more open to doing a tubal on a younger woman (I turn twentyone tomorrow).

So, yeah, I freakin' love Planned Parenthood.

so wegmans, the grocery store I frequent, has "expectant mother parking" right next to the handicapped spaces. At first this irritated me to no end, then I realized how awesome it is!! because the vast majority of people around here have some form of baby rabiez, those spots are always open because dey are for deh momeezz. yeah, so i always always ALWAYS can get a good spot in the parking lot. I parked there the other day with my mom and some lady drove by slowly and yelled at me as i was coming around the back of the car, "you dont look like you're expecting!!" all pissed off.... so what did I do, I did the adult rational thing. I waited by my car until she parked and started to go into the store and i started screaming and crying in the parking lot about how my husband and I have been trying for 2 years to have a baby, and all I ever wanted was to be a mommy and I just found out I was 2 months along and i was SOOOO SORRY I didn't LOOK pregnant enough for her how she was mean for making assumptions about people. I was sobbing hystericaly at this point (acting classes for the win) and people came to see what was wrong and called her a bitch for making me cry.

heh.heh.heh.

DISCLAIMER! I wouldn't park in handicapped parking because that's illegal. Maternity parking is just stupid. If you're healthy enough to drive to the damn store and shop you're healthy enough to haul your ass from a regular parking spot. Being pregnant is NOT a disability.

I'm stalking through several communities today. You guys already know what Bush is trying to push.

Some of the previous info is just a LITTLE bit misconstrued, however.
What Bush is pushing is for is that only pro-life medical centers will receive funding from the government, in specific, title X money that allows for clinics like PP to have a sliding scale. More can be read here:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/issues-action/birth-control/stop-president-bushs-massive-sellout-womens-health-care-21522.htm

When this goes into effect, Planned Parenthood and other places like it will ONLY be allowed to tell women about "family planning", such as adoption and where to go to to get aide for when the baby is born.

My husband works for PP at a clinic that does not provide abortions, and they receive up to 25-30 calls a day asking if they provide abortions. This is going to effect the Planned Parenthoods that work together with clinics for funding as well, as they will no longer be able to refer their patients to clinics in the area. This could not only harm many women who need abortions, it could also sink some PPs when they lose their funding from their clinical affiliates.

If you go to www.plannedparenthood.com, you will see an "URGENT NOTICE" bulletin on their front page. This notice was put up today and provides some details as to what is going on. There is a response form at the bottom of the page that will email directly to the White House. You can only see this page once, however; it will record your IP address so not to hassle you again should you visit the site.