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skin sucks [20 Jul 2008|06:08am] doraphilia It kind of sucks to be in my skin right now. I hate my skin and all it's chronic problems that are only going to worsen as I age. For some reason, I seem to be at war with one or many mosquito(es). I think it must be in the bed because I am getting bites in clothed places- my bellybutton, my back, my waistline, my upper thigh, etc. I keep changing our sheets and it hasn't done anything. Norman of course sleeps peacefully and wakes up without a single bite. I wake up at 5am every morning with my skin crawling, because all the histamines from the bugbites trigger my psoriasis. So I now have psoriasis  patches everywhere. (Furthermore, this is unrelated, but this week my face broke out too, like EXTREME ugly zits on my face as if I were a horny teenager. I tell you, there should be a rule that once your skin begins to have wrinkles you shouldn't have to suffer with zits anymore.) What's the deal with the urge to scratch? I know scratching doesn't even really relieve the itching, and I know it makes it worse, and yet I cannot stop doing it. I've done some research on how psoriasis is exacerbated by a diet with processed food, because psoriasis is an immune system issue (your skin's immune system goes into overdrive, producing extra skin and getting inflamed),  particularly white flour and white sugar. This is the idea behind Dr. Weil's anti-inflammation diet, which looks like a good way to eat anyway, so I am considering giving it a shot. My skin problems really suck and I'm so sick of waking up at 5am every morning itchy as hell. I just hope the future mini-doras and mini-normans inherit norman's skin, because he has never suffered with even a blemish or a "bad patch" of skin his entire life. post comment

twitterblog [20 Jul 2008|05:02am] lilpeach 10:15 A couple of hours more of buffy season one and then home to prepare for the arrival of the chick gang. # 12:04 @Xhahnph oh yeah - which LJ? # Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter post comment

[20 Jul 2008|01:52am] sage_grouse A MASSIVE friends cut is in the works. I mean serious, serious cut. Like, I have been friends with you for a LONG time and I'm near positive you wouldn't fuck me over = you can stay. The individual that's been getting under my skin for the past 24 hours has now quoted things that were in locked entries. Not cute, not okay at all. And (s)he is still too much of a coward to let me know who (s)he is so I can deal with them individually instead of cutting out massive blankets of names. If the person who has been very personally and VERY sleazily (using locked entries for people I TRUST against me) attacking me comes forward individually and privately, I'll deal with them individually and call it a day. I will get over it if it is explained and if the individual makes it easy for me to identify and eliminate them from my life and any of its offensive and undesirable happenings. Regularly scheduled programming, etc. It will make EVERYONE'S life easier if this happens than if I have to comb through 250+ people, cutting people who did nothing in the process. I hate that I even feel the need to address this OVER AND OVER. I normally wouldn't care but when you're fucking with LOCKED ENTRIES it's a serious fucking thorn in my side and you will be plucked the fuck out one way or another. 10 comments|post comment

Ummmm.... [20 Jul 2008|01:06am] fengi ( Not really liking the end of Dr. Horrible. ) Maybe this is why a writing team is good, so the self-aware nice guy can be reminded when he's writing like a nice guy himself. Sort of like how Judd Apatow without Paul Feig increasingly treats women like a different fuckable species. 7 comments|post comment

I love a rainy night. [20 Jul 2008|01:17am] repowers Storm's a-comin'! Thunder suddenly started up minutes ago. The radar shows a wall of red headed right for all of Chicago. Yee heheheee!! post comment

[20 Jul 2008|12:09am] musicpsych I went and saw Dark Knight today. Even though it was the 3:30 pm showing, and there were showings every half hour, there was a long line to get in, and we were so far back in line that we had to sit up near the front. With that said, I thought it was really good, and I'm really glad I went. I have to echo what a lot of other people are saying - Heath Ledger did give a really good performance. In a way, it recalled the previous campy versions while still being its own dark and twisted interpretation. The movie itself was a little long for my taste, and took some unexpected turns, but overall, I enjoyed it. One of my thoughts upon leaving the theater was that I wondered if this version of the Joker would be a good Halloween costume. Hmm... My parents enjoy listening to the televangelist Joel Osteen. Last night, he spoke at the United Center, and my parents had some extra tickets, so I decided to break out of my comfort zone and tag along. It was... interesting. He reminded me a lot of Obama, just in his message of hope and inspiration (and request for money :) ). His remarks were surprisingly non-religious at times, almost like he was there to entertain and provide self-help advice more than to preach and quote scripture. Something about it didn't sit right with me, and I don't just mean my general distrust of people from Texas (though that doesn't extend to every Texan, of course). Part of the "hope message" he offered was about promotion at work, financial success, etc. - almost to the point of saying that if you are a good Christian, you will be wealthy - and that just seems to run contrary to my understanding of what that religion is supposed to be about. Rather, it seemed like the goal was to make people happy and tell them what they wanted to hear. But then he must be doing something right, as he seems to have amassed quite the following... post comment

Hmmm ... [19 Jul 2008|11:35pm] btripp Sometimes I have a hard time "pulling the trigger" on a review, and this has certainly been the case with this book. I finished reading Pat B. Allen's Art Is a Way of Knowing well over two weeks ago, but every time I thought about starting in on a review of it, I was always too tired, too busy, whatever. Even tonight, I was desperately trying to think of other things to do than to crank out 600 words on this. Needless to say, this is not a good sign. Sometimes it takes me a long time to get around to a review when I've tagged stuff that I want to quote (and I just hate transcribing passages from books), but usually it's because the book was, to paraphrase Wolfgang Pauli's famous dismissal, "not even bad". If a book is bad, I could gleefully savage it. This, however, is just ... eh. Frankly, the most amazing thing about Art Is a Way of Knowing is that it appears to still be in print. I'd picked up a many-stickered and fairly beat-up copy of this at a used book store a month or so back (in part of a "fill a shopping bag for $5" deal), lured on by its sub-title of "A guide to self-knowledge and spiritual fulfillment through creativity". A more realistic sub-title would have been "The self-absorbed whining of a mediocre artist trying to fit in as an art therapist."! Now, I realize (and anybody reading my reviews regularly will have no doubt have recognized) that I have a strong bias against "personal journey" books, especially ones that purport to be something else and never really reach a narrative conclusion. I always feel cheated because I spent the time to read the book to get the information promised (ala this one's sub-title), but ended up in a situation akin to being stuck next to some emo navel-gazer for a four hour social event, having to listen to them endlessly pick through their psychic lint. As is frequently the case, this is not entirely without merit. The first 40 pages of actually using various techniques to pull out some inner realizations are fascinating ... heck, I even went and bought some art supplies to try some of the detailed exercises ... but once the author gets those on paper, the whole rest of the book is about her and, honestly, I don't care. I didn't pick this up to inform myself of her angst, dammit. This is, of course, why I'm shocked that, 13 years later, this book is still in print. To think of all the brilliant and important books that have come out, been ignored, and disappeared in that time, and compare it to this ... I mean, who's buying this? The only thing that makes sense to me is that the Open Studio Project that she co-founded (but doesn't seem to be currently affiliated with) might still use this book as a text. Her bio blurb claims that she's an adjunct professor at the School of the Art Institute, which might be another place keeping this in print ... although looking at the examples of her work in this book, I can't imagine how she ever became associated with that institution. Again, I'm biased, but my 8-year-old comes home with similar stuff from art camp. As Johnny Carson used to say: "It takes all types to fill the freeway!", so there might be people for whom this book is a treasure, but I sure can't recommend it. I suspect that any of the "good parts" are likely to be found in better form in books actually about art therapy, which means that what' you're getting here is just the author working through her own crap, and using the reader's attention to do so. If, for some inexplicable reason, you want to pick up a copy of this, you'll have to pay for it, as there aren't even cheap new/used copies available (further making me suspect that some poor slobs are having to suffer through this as a classroom text). Bleh. post comment

oh HECK NO! [19 Jul 2008|11:14pm] 21secs [ mood | blah ] [ music | otis redding ] this past week, my video games and cellphone got stolen by my brother. I got them back. mind you, he have paranoid schizophernia so I don't blame him because its not the first time he stolen from me. he stolen just about everything from me in the past. the best news I gotten from somebody is my grandmother is doing better but still in bad shape and she is home now. right now she is sleeping in her own bed. 2 comments|post comment

yes please [19 Jul 2008|11:14pm] mermaidsinlove [ mood | amused ] post comment

soo [19 Jul 2008|10:40pm] narkoticthrust I work my ass off.. and make good money, so Ive decided each month to do 'something', with all the money I used to scarf and barf I should even have more to blow. Life is passing me by.. im sucha workaholic/hermit even though I deal with people daily go figure. This month is sky diving next month im taking my moms to cirque du soleil sept I'm planning on taking a mini meditation weekend retreat at the temple here I used to frequent Oct I'm either going to SF/LA to visit some friends or perhaps taking those thai classes (its a weekend deal) Ive been oogling for months. I'm thinking Ill push the classes to Nov. I think im gonna start taking hot yoga.. and also try to get involved with maybe a vegan club or something. *shrugs* potlucks would be cool I have a client who has told me about two retreat places: one in NY and one in SF thats kinda alternative/spritual/hippy and I'm anxious to go. but probably next spring as fall and winter kinda hit hard and I hate traveling in the winter. I'ms sorta beginning to like my new PT job.. the girls/guys I work with, are cool, I stay clear from the two I went to school with (don't like their energy) but im usually so busy that I never see them unless I'm taking a break to eat anyways. School starts back up sept, ahhhhh this 5 months flew by. I feel like I have accomplished shit, even though I really have. Apparently theres this bath house like around the corner from me.. Ive been to the sushi place (which isnt bad) on a few dates but never thought to go in. You can just chill there for only 20 bucks.. saunas, hot tubs, nap room etc. I'm checking it out tomorrow, with all the massaging I do I could use a retreat place thats affordable enough to do my own thing on a bi weekly basis. I'm just hoping its not a spot for dykey or gay fucks to check people out, cuz I aint in the mood. post comment

[19 Jul 2008|10:39pm] dracumancer I need to stop looking at every woman who passes me on the street as if she might be the connection I've been looking for. post comment

[19 Jul 2008|10:18pm] am6185 For the next month I'm gonna have to manage my money better.  For the first time outside of general disdain for my job, I realize being at it puts me in a tough position financially.  I need more hours but I can't work any thanks to them hiring too many people to work in the office, not that having the extra hands has reduced the amount of stupid calls I get. Anyway, with vacation coming up and Ryan clamoring about his birthday every other day, I need watch what I'm doing. Interesting... CNN is doing a special on what it's like to be Black in America next Weds gotta watch it.  Sorry I'm off topic and task, time to get back to work on my project. post comment

[19 Jul 2008|10:05pm] justkissme [ mood | irritated ] Good to know you decided to stop being my friend because of my opinions on people totally unrelated to you. And for future reference, don't fucking tell me I complain too much and act like you don't do it all the time, too. post comment

apparently I make sexy faces [19 Jul 2008|09:51pm] turnthecrank [ mood | flirty ] [ music | Young Jeezy & Kanye West- Put On ] everyone should go see The Dark Knight. it was fucking fantastic. Heath Ledger and Christian Bale's performances were amazing and it felt neat to see my hometown as the background for a good movie (same deal with Wanted) and idk just go see it. Derek and I have been spending a lot of time together lately. The other day we went out for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and went to Lucky Strike and played pool for 2 hours. It was cute in a we're-semi-dating sort of way. For the past week I've slept over at his apartment and we've been doing dumb shit together like playing MLB 2K8 as Cubs vs Sox (yes, he's a Sox fan and we all know how I feel about that but I'm looking past it since he's cute and funny and I can actually see myself being with him) and playing with his dog and watching stupid movies together. Its a big change from what I normally do when it comes to dudes but we're comprimising and taking on the best from each other and I'm having a good time. I'm actually falling in like and with us its weird. I was attracted to him at first and it was more than sexual attraction, like he's a good dude deep down and its just a good feeling to like someone who you know has mutual feelings, plus there's extra bonuses if you know what I mean~ Things are good. I'm excited for a lot of things. Lollapalooza, the potential boif, just everything.

[19 Jul 2008|09:16pm] ambobuddha [ mood | exhausted ] Holy shit, I am exhausted. Great day. Write later. Sleep now. post comment

[19 Jul 2008|09:01pm] tweeling I think Petunia from Pete and Pete was based off of this Mucha painting, no? 1 comment|post comment

spending time with people that look like me [19 Jul 2008|06:20pm] croquetmetaphor I get the impression my working weird uneven hours is not great for my ability to socialize or interact. I've mostly noticed it making me more affectionate as well as curmudgeonly. Or, what I've been telling people is that my function at work is to just say yes, which is actually not stressful at all, because I'm actually fine at being a doormat, so the rest of the time I get more bossy and fervent when I say no. So that's okay. Yesterday: went dancing until late; r place is on the one hand sketchy and not my favorite place to go dancing, and on the other hand incredibly diverse and amusing and equal-opportunity for me to run into people I know. Case in point; ran into Logan gussied up in drag with her gay gay gay friend. I was charming and took the opportunity to dance all over my cute friends and she RAN away like she does. (to the other side of the room....) Yes, we are friends. Still, I win. Also ran into lots of other friends. yay r place. They turned on the lights and shooed us out at 2:00 exactly, the played alicia keys real loud and we hollered along to it. Then we went to the cuff and did ridiculous interpretive dance to weird house music with swirly lights and I was happy. Walked home; the hot dog vendor in front of Chop Suey gave me a hot dog for free. His name is Hamid. Got up way too early, transfered grandma's car title, drove to my mom's house, she wrote me a chubby check, went to mariner's game where my uncle told me I was pretty a lot and he wasn't talking about my boobs, and I liked my mom's family a whole lot since her sister and mom weren't there. Her sister is actually fine but her husband is odiferous. Went to see play sitting in circles with rich white girls about being gay black and bulimic as a young kid. interesting. not incredibly well performed. very bent writing institute. okay. finishing data entry. go. post comment

попытка № 1: чего не люблю [19 Jul 2008|09:16pm] llz [ mood | на тусовку еду уже! ] я не люблю, когда вечереет и начинаю хуже видеть, особенно если я за рулем и нет очков с собой на машине.. сразу теряюсь, приходится звонить всем в контактах и никто трубку не берет. ох. такое со мной было вчера. post comment

self-consciousness, or pure distilled ego -- someone else decide [19 Jul 2008|08:51pm] llz p.s., stoking the flame of my disdain for academia, i feel that most lines of thought i pursue are quality fodder for a scholarly article or several, but could never be bothered to organize, research/support and present them for respectable dissemination. the example i believe most exemplary of this is my characterization (however reductionist, still undeniably empirically supported [if i could be bothered to collect quantify the data]) of american and european cultures via comparison of their popular music. post comment

[19 Jul 2008|08:26pm] llz [ mood | goin' to Dayton CS dinner ] the jobs that i started a week ago today is promotional "modeling", or just being an event worker. i stumbled across an ad on Craigslist under "events" on friday and for the next 4 days found myself taking NAACP Convention-goers' personal info for U.S. Army recruiting purposes at $14/hr full-time (Obama spoke on tuesday, not that i went to see him). my coworker Christianah told me about another promotion for Wendy's in Columbus on weds and thursday. had friday off. today and tomorrow i'm working the rockclimbing wall (!) for the Army again at the annual air show in Dayton. since i started, i've gleaned the names of a dozen promo companies from my coworkers and currently work for 3. they just e-mail you upcoming events in the cities/regions you indicate and you decide which you want to work. i can't say how awesome that is. work and vacation whenever you want, pretty much, and it's not the same damn location day-in day-out. (as a CouchSurfer, i admit to having a superiority complex for my peers who elect to stay in hotels.) the pay is great, i've gotten $14-17/hr so far and lots of events go into $20-30/hr range.. in Miami, NYC, LA etc they also have openings for private party go-go dancers ($75/hr), "hos" (wear skimpy dress n pass out samples, $45/hr) and male topless dancers ($500/day). and most work isn't any more taxing than being a cashier at Kroger (no offense Will, it was the first example that came to the top of my head). at worst, you're standing for 8 hrs in the heat walking people through computerized surveys; when it's better, you're teaching them to play tennis on Wii or (squeeee!) strapping them into harnesses and climbing! the only downside is, you receive your paycheck in the mail ~a month after the event. if anyone out there knows of any unskilled labor, err, student job that pays higher, please speak up now. god i noticed though that in work settings i have so much contempt for my peers. i feel like i have a better way of doing things and want to make suggestions but hold my tongue until it's called for, for fear of coming off as being? a know-it-all. at the rockwall today, the other 2 guys weren't climbers at all and i kept watching to make sure they didn't put the harnesses on wrong.. just kinda scary when the company's been sued before for injury on the wall and touts us event workers to the climbing public as "professionals who know what they're doing". interlude: since when did YouTube have a "This video is not available in your country." error!? so i got lucky with being a semi-experienced climber, that already got me thinking i should get paid more than the other workers.. then walked over a bunch of fobs. of course i attended tended to them in chinese, however unarticulate mine might be. i'm willing to bet half of them wouldn't have thought to climb the wall if it weren't for me inviting them over. of course the native vs. ABC (even though i'm not one technically) dynamic was still at work, but they told me i spoke well and i felt like i was with a bunch of older siblings. after that, i was a goner.. totally started labeling those around me as monolingual cunts (thanks W for the term) and felt stifled. in fact, my after-work behavior now is just like it was in Russia -- ditch my peers ASAP and seek out CSers to hang out with. the thing that occurred to me is, in most other countries, the majority of people, or a good share of the populace, are such monolingual, or rather a better term, monocultural cunts. there are two/three types, ignorant, incompetent, and those who are both. it comes down to me not standing people who don't try to improve, who don't explore to discover better things. close-mindedness. can't stand, don't even wanna learn to, not ever. cuz i'm constantly looking to try new things, gain skills, and i can't conceive of another way of doin' it. ----- it irks me so when people, good people, look at me in surprise when i tell them the scars on my arm are from cutting myself. what, you've never met someone who did that? surprise is hardly the appropriate reaction, unless i suppose, you originally had me pegged as perpetually upbeat. fuck surprise, the appropriate reaction here is empathy. does this make me jaded/"worldly"? that i can handle the prospect of virtually any occurrence? i hate those 2 words, or when people call me/say "cultured", they denote indifference/seen it all-ness.. the latter expresses to me refinedness (and domesticatedness) in diverse settings.. i'm far from it, i'm just able to wrap my head around most things. ----- why the fuck didn't Lisa call me when she decided to go to Columbus? she took Greyhound we could've carpooled, i went on wednesday anyways for work. i swear, she's tarada. she just hadn't called me in the previous week even though we were in the same city. for that reason it's hard for me to believe her claim that we're friends. on the other hand, i hadn't called her either, not even just to talk. i was 30 min away the whole time and if we weren't going out, i didn't want to hear about her perpetual incompetences, however well-intentioned. am i a terrible friend? it just fucking pains me to hear about people's problems when i know exactly what i'd do to fix the situation, try to tell them gently, and then they can't do it. i can't handle it. i refuse to be a broken record or impose. "live and let live." "you live and learn or you don't live long." i just don't love anyone that much or am so certain that mine is the solution; what if they're really better off as is? just offer suggestions until you can't do it anymore. whew. writing about it really is the best therapy. in addition, it enhances my self-love (to a level even higher than it already is) because i came up with it myself. i was thinking the other day how much i love myself. i have been doing all that is best for me while still treating others fairly, even promoting openness in them. i know exactly what's best for me. because i know me! and i like who she is. me me me me me. so complete. so self-sufficient and -sustaining. tra la la. la. last vehicular aural therapy: nine days - story of a girl blink-182 - i miss you maksim - nay4ys' letat' sia - breathe me p.s., John's parents are really great... still happily married after all these years... *sob* *in the corner* post comment

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